Fun and Sun

I hear tale that many people actually enjoy the heat; I am not one of those people. I prefer the cool weather, and I actually love the snow. I like the vast blanket of white that covers the ground as far as you can see, and the crisp air that shows each breath you take. Winter is much better then the blistering heat of summer for me. The summer heat makes me hot and cranky. I sometimes forget this and do stupid things like go to the lake where it is even hotter. That is what I did this weekend. I took the boys to Glendo; we met my parents there and proceeded to find their boat, which daddy had some friends pull out ahead of time. Well the day started fine. We drove out and found the boat, and then took off to the dock, only to find that the water level is so low this year the dock is about 10 feet from the waters edge! This is not good; we have to use the dock to get this 20-foot pontoon into the water. After a little argument between mom and dad, we head back the 12 miles to the marina, as that is the only dock on the lake that is in the water. We load the kids and Sadie, mom's dog, on the boat, mom and I get on and dad proceeds to back down the half mile of ramp, almost dropping us over the edge a couple of times. At that point I think he would have happily drove us over the edge if his beloved grandchildren had not been on the boat, we were all already hot and bitchy. Thank God, for the boys they saved their mom and granny from a horrible fall over the rocky cliff to our death, I knew I had kids for a reason! We get the boat in the water, everyone is in a better mood, and off we go on our journey into the sun. Dad as usually has planned this trip to include some of his buddies, but has neglected to inform mom before hand. So we spend about an hour and a half, cruising the waters edge looking for these people that dad knows. Then dad decides, finally, to let the boys’ fish!

My middle one loves to fish. He can cast his pole out and sit for hours waiting for that whooper to nibble on his bait. The other two are not as patience as the middle one, they get bored after about 15 minutes. We sat with the sun beating down on us and fished, well the middle one fished, the oldest one wanted to swim, and the baby just wanted “dranny” to catch him a fish, which she did. We sat there for about an hour, mom caught a fish for the baby, and then got another one, which she let the middle one reel in, and then we went back to patrolling the shoreline! Dad found his buddies and they all loaded onto the boat and we went off to this atrocious little beach that was filled with cock a burrows and red slimy mud that stank like dead fish, and we ate lunch and let all the kids swim in the yuck. By this time I had all I could stand of the fun in the sun, I had daddy take me back to the marina so I could just come home. I had a headache and the inside of my thighs were sunburned.

We pull up to the loading place and it is full with boats, so we pull up along the slip that was privately own, but empty. We were staying by that slip long enough for me and the boys to get off the boat, and some asshole starts screaming at us that we don’t pay for that spot therefore we can’t park there. Mom politely says we are just letting the kids out of the boat we are not staying; he gets belligerent and starts saying how we need to play by the rules, that is his buddies spot and yada yada. I told him to go back to guarding his own slip and shut the f**k up, I just wanted off the boat and no one was hurting a thing. I thought my dad was going to park the boat and stomp a mud whole in the stupid jerks ass. If I had not had three small boys in tow, I would have knocked the crap out of the asshole. I could see him getting upset if it was his spot and we were trying to park the boat there, but for Christ sake, we were there less than a minute, and it was not even his spot. Of course he has this big cabin cruiser that cost more then most people make in a year, I should of told him that he was making up for having a small penis. Oh well you know you find an asshole everywhere you go now a days, and in the end everyone on the dock thought he was just making as ass out of himself, which he was. They were all commenting to me on the way out what a jackass they thought he was, and I did tell the woman with small children I was sorry her kids had to hear those words come out of my mouth; she just said she did not blame me he was acting like a jerk.

That was our lake experience, and we did not stay to camp that night. I had enough sun so me and the two youngest came home my oldest stayed with his grandparents, who called me on the way home to tell me they were not staying to camp either.

Oh the joy

I have been cleaning the bathroom. I hate cleaning the bathroom. Why do little boys have such a hard time with aim and when do they learn to shake it off so it doesn't dribble all over the seat? I swear and the back splash doesn't help either! I should have taught them to sit down and pee everytime and then it wouldn't be so bad! They all love to pee outside maybe I should just make them go out there with the dogs! They would think it was cool I finally changed my mind about them peeing outside and I would be an awesome mom in their eyes! I don't know if the grass would last though, and it has taken forever to get the grass to grow in as good as it has. I am damned if I do and damned if I don't it seems. I will just have to keep cleaning the bathroom I guess!

UPDATE

Ok I am getting ready to go do the lake thing for the weekend with the boys! We shall see if they can out fish their grandpa, they usually do. I think that is because grandpa is to busy helpping them fish to actually get a line of his own in the water! Hope everyone has a great weekend, and I don't get burned to a crisp!

Oh Viggo

I was gonna post last night, but decided to watch Halidgo first. I went to put it in the DVD player and the damn thing wouldn't work. I was getting a little frustrated as I kept hitting the power button and nothing was happening. I unplugged all the wires and slid the DVD player out of it's little whole. I tip it forward and it sounded like I had just hit the jackpot on a nickel slot machine. I had to take the whole thing apart and dig out the $2.58 in change, mostly pennies. I asked who put all the change in it and the baby proudly says "it's my piggy bank" I had to tell him if he used my DVD player for a piggy bank again I would have to send him to live somewhere else, which to that he just said "I wanna live with dranny!" very excited that I may finally let him go live with her. He loves his dranny more than he loves anyone in the world. If you ask him who he loves he will tell you "I love my dranny, and then my mom." So I get the DVD player put back together and it works again. It is late by this time so I have to put the boys in bed, and I told them they better stay in bed tonight, because I was mad. They told me all the stuff I wanted to here like yes they would stay in bed and they loved me and all that. I kissed their little faces and squeezed them tight, thinking the whole time Viggo is waiting! I headed back to the living room, put the movie in and sat down.
"Mom I have to pee"
"Ok well go then."
"ME too"
"Me too"
So they all got up and went pee, and then they got a drink, and then they all came in to get one more kiss, and then they needed me to fix their blankets, and finally I sat on the edge of the bed and sang them a few song, because they don't know I am a really bad singer yet, and they finally went to sleep. Oh alone with Viggo at last! I got to watch my movie, and what more could a girl ask for it was Viggo the cowboy, and he plays a good cowboy! Everytime he said "Ma'am" I got shivers! It was a really good movie, but it was so late when it got over I didn't have time to post!

Strange how people take an interest.

I find it interesting that there are people that never take an interest in what is going on in my life, and then all the sudden they show up on my blog. Boom out of the blue there they are just when things are not going so good, and they think that I don't know who they are or what they are up to. I don't think it would bother me so much if they had been here all along, but they show up to spy on me. They show up trying to gather information, not because they enjoy reading what I write or because they like me or anything like that, they are simply here to see who I am talking to and when I am online and things that are just plan nobody's business but mine. It has only added to my anger. I know everyone that visits my site, and how long they have been visiting. I know a lot of my family reads this and a lot of my friends and I am so glad you guys are here weather you comment or not I know your here, and I thank you for being here. I am sure the people I am talking about know I am talking about them. They should also know that this is my space, my little place to be, and they are invading that space. This is a public blog and your more than welcome to come and go as you please, but I just want you to know that I know your here and I know why.

wooohoo look who's home!

Well I am home. I have been at my moms for the last few days. The boys all got hair cuts while we were there, and it was nice to just sit and visit with my parents. I enjoy spending time with them, and so do the boys. The boys want to move in with granny and grandpa, and honestly I would let them somedays! Mom has a bunch of high school kids around her neighborhood, and last night we were all outside, and some of them stopped to talk to mom. The baby was on the porch with me and he looks at me and said, "Granny is talking to some girls!" He flew off the porch and proceeded to tell the girls he wasn't shy, and he liked to dance, "I do that all the time" he said. Then he did a little dance, and said "see I just did it all the time again!" They thought he was pretty funny. We came home today and went to the store and got some food, because these little monsters of mine will eat a person out of house and home, and then go beg from the neighbors! So I am off to put away all our wares.

Oh what a night.

"Where are your shoes?"
"I don't know a bad guy must of took them." the baby says. Everything in this house that goes wrong is blamed on this bad guy, and I have yet to met him. If he is lurking about stealing our stuff and creating all kinds of havoc I would at least like an introduction!
So onward with the search we find the shoes outside in the back yard, I know most of the bad guys hiding spots by now, so we didn't have to search long. We get the socks and shoes on as the oldest comes running in where he has been waiting in the van for like ten minutes.
"Mom you forgot to put my hockey pants on!"
"They won't fit me!"
"No mom on me" I look at him and sure enough there are no pants! How do you forget that? I would answer that question, but my mind draws a blank. So as we are struggling to get these padded pants on over his skates, the baby goes out the front door followed by one of the dogs. I manage to get the pants over the skates, and we run for the front door and the dog is up the street and the neighbor is trying to get him back home.
"Mom we can't leave Doc!" all three of them scream.
"Well I don't have time to chase him get in the damn van."
They are all crying, and I am mad and ready to strangle the stupid dog. The neighbor kid gets him home as I am loading everyone up. I try to get him in the house he escapes from my grasp and jumps in the van.
"Doc house now"
Blank look like he has no clue what I am talking about!
I try to drag him out of the van to no avail.
"Damn dog now your going to have to sit in the van until practice is over. Your gonna die of a heat stroke you idiot!"
"huhhhhhhuuhhh" is the only response I get as he crawled up in the seat next to the oldest. So we speed to the rink, I throw the oldest and all his gear out, run him into the rink, yell to the coaches that I will be back in a bit, and drive the 25 minutes back to the house to put my dumb ass dog back in! I missed the first 15 minutes of practice, but managed to not get caught speeding!

I looook like a freak!

We were getting ready for hockey today, and I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth. The youngest comes in looks at himself in the mirror, then looks at me in utter shock.
"I loook like a freak mom, you want me to look like a freak?"
Not really looking at him I mutter with a mouthful of toothpaste, "ou on't ook ike a reak."
"You like me to look like an idiot mom, you want everyone to call me an asshole." yep that is what my three year old told me. I spit, and turn around to see what is causing such a fuss, to see that his hair is all sticking up all over his head.
"Well honey mommy can fix that right up, your not a freak or an idiot sugarbaby."
I left the asshole part out in hopes that he wouldn't repeat that again. I wet his hair down, and combed him up.
"There how is that."
"I am cute now, thans mom."
and we head out to the car.
I didn't think about it again, and then we get to the rink and the first person he see he has to tell them "I'm not an asshole!" Oh yeah I wanted to crawl under something and die as these prim and proper hockey moms dressed in their designer labels, with their French tip nails professionally done, look at me in my levi's and old sweatshirt, like I am some trailer park trash. I probably know more about hockey then they ever will, and then one of the hockey dads, breaks the silence and says "Well it's good not to be an asshole!" "Yeah" my 3 year old says happily. I laughed so hard as he brushed passed the others moms, I wanted to hug him for that. Hockey dads are great, however I just don't seem to fit in with a lot of the hockey moms. I don't sit in the warm lobby and gossip with the other women, while my baby is on the ice. I sit in the stands of the cold arena, that is where my baby asked me to be so I could see him better. I don't have a lot in common with these upper middle class women who are all about status, and I don't have my kid in hockey because it is the "thing to be in" like some of them do, and I have heard some of the kids complain they hate it. He plays because he has a love for the game, and if there is ever a time when he doesn't love the game he doesn't have to play anymore. So I will keep sitting in the stands freezing cold, and I will keep wearing my ratty old sweatshirts, with my hair and nails not done professionally, and I will enjoy every minute that he is out there playing his little heart out, because I enjoy watching him. I love the pride he has when he has done something great and gives me a thumbs up, or when he skates by and gives me that little "look at me mom" smile and head nod. I don't have to try and fit in with those other moms, I have so much more than they ever will.

It is raining.

Rain falls and the world is peaceful. It makes the days cool and my mind lazy. I sit and watch the drizzle and think about nothing. I hear birds chirping as they search the soggy ground for worms, fluffing their feathers against the chill. The air is as motionless as my mind. The moments when my thoughts are silent seldom come, and I treasure these rare times when they do. The times when the jumbled confusion ceases and there is only blank space, to fill with the wonders of the world. The moments of tranquility rarely last, and my mind soon jumps into overdrive asking all the questions that have no answers. I long for those answers that do not exist. For a few minutes there was peace within, there was silence of the soul, when I did not question I just listened to the rain.


OH YEAH GAME ON!
Ok now everyone needs to go to the forum and post a story! Come on people get over there and play the story game! It is fun. Collin posted the new words today and you just have to make up a story using the words! You don't have to register to play just post your story as a guest if your not a memeber. You can even use an assumed name if you don't want us to know who you are. Please Please Please come and play with us! It is all about the fun, and I know there are a lot of great writes that can come up with a lot of great stories so come on and show us what you can come up with the more people that play the more fun we will have!

Hockey Camp is good.

"MOM is it time yet?"
"No, we have 4 hours before we have to go, now quit nagging me!"
"Maybe I should get my pads and skates on now mom, so I am ready."
"No you don't need to, just go play we will have plenty of time to get ready." We had this same conversation all day, and I am sure it will start again as soon as he gets up!
Finally time comes to get him in all his gear, he dragged his hockey bag from the closet, and we began the processes of placing pads in all the right places. We get his skates on his feet, which I discover I forgot to get sharpened. Having sharp skates is important, without sharp edges it is harder to skate. I put his blade guards on, we got everyone else's shoes on and left for the rink. The whole way there it was all hockey talk, he missed being on the ice. We pulled into the parking lot and the boys were out of the van before I even turned off the motor. I turned in our paperwork, we got a sticker with his name on it for his helmet, and a brand new rocky Mountain Hockey School jersey, which for some reason it is always cool when you get a new jersey so he was very pleased. They took the ice and all took a knee to listen to the coaches. There are 5 coaches up for the camps they are holding here now, all fairly young. They really impressed me, these young men who started early in the morning with the older kids, and had pretty much been on the ice all day, took the ice with our little guys, and they never lost patiences. They worked with our group of 5 to 7 year olds and never tired. These guys really got down on the level of these kids, they made every drill fun for them, and still managed to work their little butts off. I have seen coaches that really have no business being on the ice with kids, the ones who treat the little guys like they are teenagers, or yell and get mad when they don't quite understand something. These guys are really great and I am relieved that they treat the little ones so well, and still manage to teach them a lot of good stuff.

This was good, reflects a lot of my feelings.

HERE'S ANOTHER HIGHLY REVEALING STATEMENT FROM GREEN BERET CAPTAIN DON BENDELL.



Open Letter to John Kerry:

My wife had rotator cuff surgery earlier this year, and the recovery is terribly painful. Then, she developed a staph-epi infection, and they had to cut the same scar open and operate on her again. Just thinking about the pain and anxiety of facing that painful surgery a second time in the same wound, makes me cringe. That experience, however, pales in comparison to what I am going through right now, in my heart.

The old hurts are surfacing and the feelings of betrayal by fellow citizens, and their leader stirring them up, are breaking my heart again. I am being cut in the same scar. How did we, who served in Vietnam, suddenly become cold-blooded killers, torturers, and rapists, of the ilk of the Nazi SS or the Taliban? Most of us were American soldiers who grew up idolizing John Wayne, Roy Rogers, and all the other heroes. That was why I volunteered. But for political expediency, John Kerry has rewritten history, again. After spending only four months in the country of Vietnam, John Kerry testified before Congress in 1971 with these exact words about incidents he supposedly witnessed or heard about from other vets: "They personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside of South Vietnam."

I was a green beret officer who volunteered for duty in Vietnam and fought in the thick of it in 1968 and 1969 on a Special Forces A-team on the Ho Chi Minh Trail, just for starters. We were the elite. We saw the most action. Everybody in the world knows that. But we did not just kill people, we built a church, a school, treated illnesses, passed out soap, food, and clothing, and had fun and loving interaction with the indigenous people of Vietnam, just like our boys did in Normandy, Baghdad, Saigon, and everywhere American soldiers ever served. We all gave away our candy bars and rations to kids. Our hearts to oppressed people all over the globe.

My children and grandchildren could read your words, and think those horrendous things about me, Mr. Kerry. You are a bold -faced, unprincipled liar, and a disgrace, and you have dishonored me and all my fellow Vietnam veterans. Sure, there were a couple bad-apples, but I saw none, and I saw it all, and if I did, as an army officer, it was my obligation to stop it, or at the very least report it. Why is there not a single record anywhere of your ever reporting any incidents like this or having the perpetrators arrested? The
answer is simple. YOU ARE A LIAR! Your medals and mine are not a free pass for lifetime, Senator Kerry, to bypass character, integrity, and morality. I earn my green beret over and over daily in all aspects of my life.

Eight National Guard green berets, and other National Guard soldiers, have been killed in Iraq and Afghanistan, and you totally dishonored their widows and families by lumping National Guard service in with being a draft-dodger, conscientious objector, and deserter, just so you can try to sabotage the patriotism of our President who proudly served as an Air National Guard jet
pilot. I have a son earning his green beret at Fort Bragg right now, and his wife serves honorably in the Air National Guard, just like President Bush did, and I am as proud of her as I am my son. I volunteered for Vietnam and have no problem whatsoever with President Bush being our Commander-In-Chief. In fact, I am proud of him as our leader.

John Kerry, you personally derailed the Vietnam Human rights Bill, HR2883, in 2001, after it had passed the House by a 411 to 1 vote, and thousands of pro-American Montagnard tribespeople in Vietnam died since then who could have been saved, by you. Earlier, as Chair of the Senate Select Committee on MIA/POW Affairs, you personally quashed the efforts of any and all veterans to report sightings of living POW's, when you held those reins in Congress.

You have fought tooth and nail to push for the US to normalize relations with Vietnam for years. Why, Mr. Kerry? Simple, your first
cousin C. Stewart Forbes, CEO, of Colliers International, recently signed a contract with Hanoi, worth BILLIONS of dollars for Collier's International to become the exclusive real estate representative for the country of Vietnam.

"Hanoi John," now that it works for you, you beat your chest about your Vietnam service, but to me, you are a phony, opportunistic,
hypocrite. You are one of those politicians that is like a fertilizer machine: all that comes out of you is horse manure, and you are
spreading it everywhere.

Medals do not make a man. Morals do.

Don Bendell
Canon City, Colorado


The eye is much better today, I will be able to caught up a bit before we have to go to hockey camp.

Spiders bite

Well that is how I have spend my weekend hardly able to see. I got bit by some type of spider right on the cornor of my eye. The whole eye swelled shut, and I have knots from my jaw all the way into my neck and a headache! Just thought I would let you all know where I have been. Hopefully tomorrow I will feel better. If not it looks like the dr. will sucker me out of more money.

YOU GO GIRL!

My friend Jenny is doing a 24 hour blog for charity. Wow that is 24 hours of blogging, what can you talk about for 24 hours? Well tomorrow stop by her blog and see, and if you can help her out with her fund raising that would be great!

Where has the summer gone?

We had to do our walmart thing last night, and I hate going to walmart. The employees seem to get more bitter everytime I am in there. Anyway that is not what my post is about, I only bring up walmart because they have school supplies out already. Everywhere you look there are notebook, pencils, erasers, and every other thing the child going back to school needs. What happened to the summer break? It is almost over, and I am no where near ready for the boys to go back to school. I enjoy having them home with me. I enjoy the freedom to go anywhere we want, and I enjoy being able to grab them in my arms and squeeze them anytime I feel the need. I treasure when they run in hot and sweaty from outside and jump into my lap just to tell me they love me. I hate the quiet when they are not here with me, I hate not being able to see them and know they are ok. I hate the fact that they have to go to school at all. I know they have missed their friends, and are looking forward to going back to school. I know that I need them to go to school so I can have a little bit of quiet time. I just miss them when they are not close to me, at least the baby isn't going to start school yet. I still have one more year until he has to go.

6 years ago

I was in labor with my oldest son, the contractions started at about midnight, but they were only about ever 30 minutes and weren't very bad. They stayed like that most of the night and through the day. My mom came into town and we went shopping and had lunch, and by about 4 the pain was a little stronger and about 15 minutes apart. Steve was at work so we stopped by to let him know that I hadn't gone to the hospital yet. I didn't want to go to the hospital at all, I figured that I could have this baby at home and it wouldn't be that big of a deal. I still don't think it would of been that big of a deal, but no one else shared my feeling. Me and mom headed home and the contraction got really bad and were about 7 minutes apart. Steve came home and they dragged me off the hospital despite my protests. I go in and the nurse checks me, if you have not had a baby this consists of someone jamming their fingers, or a baseball bat, I am still not sure that wasn't what she was doing, in the same place this baby wants to come out. She tells me I am only a 3 so I still have lots of time. I decided I want a malt and onion rings, don't ask cause I don't know why. Steve called his mom and we met her at a restaurant. So we are sitting there and I am doubling up every 4 minutes at this point, thinking I am not going back to that hospital. So there is my mother, my mother in law, and Steve all staring at me, which is really just pissing me off at this point. There was a lot of anger in me and it just got worse, I just wanted to go home. I expressed myself very eloquently to my husband, I think it was "Take me the fuck home now and make them stop staring at me or I will kill you." Yep they hauled my butt right back to the hospital. This time the Dr. came in and says "we are going to break your water, but your in for a long night". He inserts this tool that looks kind of like an orange peeler, and fluid gushes from my body. The nurse takes me to a birthing room, the Dr. says he is going to go home and call when I am ready. Well not 5 minutes after he walks out the door I am ready. They can't get ahold of the Dr for some reason or another. All these nurses are hovering over me, trying to get me to lay down, and telling me they need to check me. Well I don't freaking want to lay down, and I really don't want them shoving that baseball bat at me again. I want to go home. So after about 10 minutes of fighting me I bow to their wishes just so they will shut up and leave me alone. Now there are about 10 nurses on shift and I am the only one giving birth so they all come in my room for the excitement, which just makes me angry. They have placed my legs in the stirrups and they are poking and prodding at places I really don't want them poking and prodding at,I tell them I want drugs and they keep telling me they can't give me drugs it is to late for that, and then I hear in a hushed voice she is crowning. I was thinking so what's the big deal someone get down there and caught my baby. They all thought they needed to wait for the Dr., whom they finally got a hold of and was on his way. Then I hear "Well he just left his house." I say "well where the hell does he live in Douglas?" which is about 50 miles away. "Oh no he just lives on the other side of Paradise Valley, honey he will be right here." I live on that side of town I know it takes 15 minutes or longer to get to the hospital and I told them to get someone else, but they didn't care what I thought. Well at this point I can feel the head of my child trying desperately to get out and I have 15 people yelling at me not to push, don't push? I am having a freaking baby that is how you get it out by pushing, and they don't want me to push! So 15 minutes of them screaming at me "breath don't push" and me wanting to slap them all the Dr. Arrives, but he doesn't come right over and grab my baby, no this man with his over priced medical degree has to change his cloths. For what I paid he could of bought enough new cloths to last all year! When he decided to come and take a look, he says "oh yeah the head is almost out." DUH! He tells me "ok you can push" thank God! It only took once and there was my baby. Happy Birthday little man, I love you so much!

I will never forget.

Just thought we all needed a reminder. So often we tend to get caught up in our own lives, and forget what is important. I think that no matter your religious or political views, no matter how you feel about Bush or Kerry, or how you feel about abortion or gay marriage, you can never forget what happened. I think it is important to remember how we put all our differences aside and we all stood together as proud Americans. How easy we forget that. I remember after September 11th people were friendly to each other. People would speak to each other and we were united in our fear and our anger. Flags flew on every house and car. We should always be proud to be Americans for we are the greatest country in the world, we are so lucky to have been born here. Born free, but freedom has such a great cost doesn't it. So in honor of Sept 11th and our hero's in the military busting their asses for us everyday to make sure we are safe here are some great links.

Man if this one doesn't bring tears to your eyes

Some gave all

beautiful

this is such a great song

another tear jerker

WOW just WOW

For all of you that have kept up with my blog and my comments you know Derek S. He has read and commented on my blog since well for a really long time. I am honored to know such a smart and talented young man. He posted a short story on his blog that just is amazing. So go here on this link and read.

This is Buddy dog, he is the baby. 

This is where I am at right now.

Artist/Band: Keith Toby
Lyrics for Song: Tryin' To Matter
Lyrics for Album: Pull My Chain
I'm a lonely man with a lonely life
A full-time job and part-time wife
And the grindstone just goes on and on
You're a lonely girl that's a lonely wife
Gotta three bedroom and an empty life
And you're not quite sure
Just where it all went wrong
There are lots of reasons why we should turn and walk away
But there's a whole lot ridin' on this love so baby what's ya say

Let's give it one good shot
Let's really give it all we got
We can take it nice and slow
Baby don't you want to go back
Where we had a chance
And we danced our dance
In a world where a heart could never shatter
We might go down cryin'
But at least our love will die
Tryin' to matter, tryin' to matter

We've come a long way so don't forget
let's don't throw our hands up yet
We've still got time
To change our mind
Honey let's give it our best tonight
If we still ain't got it right
We can always, always say goodbye
Somewhere I guess we let go, lost a little ground
One solitary heartbeat can turn this thing around

Let's give it one good shot
Let's really give it all we got
We can take it nice and slow
Baby don't you want to go back
Where we had a chance
And we danced our dance
In a world where a heart could never shatter
We might go down cryin'
But at least our love will die
Tryin' to matter
We might go down cryin'
At least our love will die
Tryin' to matter, tryin' to matter

Boy for someone who was busy, I sure have posted a lot today.

Don't be offended just laugh it's a joke!

Ok now I am risking offending some of you, but really that is not my intent!  I got this in an email, and I laughed and laughed, because... it really is just... funny!  Yes it is rude and cruel, but it is funny. 
 
In reply to all the "Bleeding Hearts" out there...
 
If hooking up an Iraqi prisoner's scrotum to a car's battery cables willsave one American GI's life, then I have just 2 things to say:
 
Red is positive.
Black is negative!

to blog or not to blog.

My blogging my be sporatic for awhile it is a busy time right now.  The oldest is about to start hockey camp again, and there is a lot of stuff going on.  I will try to blog when I can.  I will check up on everyone too.  I love you all and I have not left for good!

I am just not in the mood.

I have been in a mood yesterday and today.  I just don't even want to leave the house.  I actually went back to bed this morning and just go up.  So I didn't feel like cooking last night and took the boys to popeyes chicken.  The girl comes on the speaker and says, "We are out of red beans and rice, and corn on the cob."  So I go ok well give me your 8 piece meal with mash potatoes, you have mash potatoes don't you?"  "Yes we have mashed potatoes, so you want the 8 piece meal, with what side item."  "Mash potatoes."  My oldest then says "mom she is an idiot!"  "Yes honey you shouldn't make fun of people, maybe she has some sort of illness and just can't help it."  So we pull up to the window and she is there, she slides the glass back, and says "We are out of wings and legs, is it alright if we give you thighs?"  "Yeah that is fine"  I was in my pissy mood and this was just making it worse.  She takes my money, and then we sit there for about 10 minutes, cause apparently they had to kill some chickens to get the thighs, which makes me wonder why the hell they couldn't of just cooked up the legs while they were at it, my kids like the legs.  So finally she gives up our order, "I went ahead and put napkins and spoons in there for you."  I looked at her and so much wanted to say something rude and hateful.  I had to just drive off before I went off.  I should of just stayed home!

Well again I don't have pictures.

I went to the rodeo, took out my camera focused on the cutest butt I could find, and the damn batteries were dead. I knew they were low before I left, so I stuck some new ones in the charger. Do you think I remember to put them in the camera bag. Well anyway I will recap the event for you weather you want me to or not, because well because this is my blog!

First up was Bareback Bronc, this is one of my favorite events!
There were nine sexy cowboys trying to stay in the saddle and 6 of them managed to come up with scores for their ride.
Nate Graves of Kaycee, Wy ended with an 83 tonight tying with Casey Gale of Riverton Wy. Dennis Foyil of Guthrie, Ok took an 80 for the night. Zach Dishman a Beaumont boy, yeah that's Texas held his 8 seconds to score 76. Andy Bolich of Bozeman, Mt held on for a 73, and Zach Curran of Arvada left tonight's event with a 68. Beau Ledoux, my favorite this year, ended up looking at the underside of Junkie, the horse he drew for this go round ending in a no score! Don't worry Beau there is always tomorrow! If anyone can tell me who Beau is related to you win the prize.

Calf Ropings top score went to one of the top calf ropers around Stran Smith. He flipped that rope around that calf, jumped off his horse, and tied her down in 9.5 seconds, now that is the way you rope a calf! Stran is a Texas boy, Childress Tx. Those Texas cowboys are always good with the ropes.

Saddle Bronc was a little slow tonight, the horses just were not giving the cowboys a good ride. The top two rides were both Wyoming boys. Mo Forbes went away with an 84 and Will Berg ended with an 81.

I missed Steer wrastlin cause the boys had to pee and I had to smoke.

Team roping leaders tonight were Ty Blasingame and JW Borrego with a 5.3 second time.

The ladies were on there game as well, Karen Turek of Ft. Collins, Co took the lead after her run tonight with a time of 16.61.

Now the event you have all be waiting for! yeah I am talking about those big bad !brahmas, ok for non country people that's a bull.
Bryan Richardson was just awesome. I have seldom seen a ride that good, and then to have a score to reflect that was just great. Oh yeah he got a 90 for that one! Man that boy could stay on that bull, I am still just amazed by that ride. He was truly amazing. One of my favorite bull riders Colby Yates ended the night with an 82.

Ok I will leave you wondering what the hell I am talking about with all this scoring lets just leave it at this I was not the one scoring. I was on my best behavior

Ok I didn't even go to the rodeo yesterday.

After I got home from the parade and sat here I developed a pounding headache that I couldn't get rid of and then I got the freaking chills, and I thought that I was getting sick and then I noticed I was just sunburned to a crisp! I missed the rodeo cause I had to go lay down, to try and get rid of the headache. This morning I woke up with what I thought was a cold, but I doubled up my my algery meds and am feeling much better now. So Wendy there are no photos yet, but I am going tonight and tomorrow night, and friday night so I will have pics babe don't worry there will be lots and lots of pictures!

It is to hot.

I took my boys to the parade today. It was a hot and miserable 98 degrees today. Well the parade was good this year, and the boys got loads of candy so they were happy. My 5 year old, who likes the ladies already, was funny. There was a float with a bunch of bikini clad sluts, no really they are I know them and they will sleep with anyone. Well this float was followed by miss rodeo wyoming and a bunch of other cowgirls on horses. My oldest looks at me and says, "Now those are good looking girls!" The guy sitting next to us said to him "You didn't like the half naked ones." Thinking he was being funny. To this my wonderful little man replies, "They just looked like a bunch of hookers, I like the cowgirls better they are beautiful." Oh yeah it is in his blood just like it is in mine. I was very proud of him at that moment. Not to many 5 year old kids will notice the difference between beauty and just plain sluttyness, but then again not to many 5 year olds care. The baby was funny too, everytime he would get a piece of candy he would hold it up for everyone to see and yell "OH yeah I scored" and when he would get more than one he would yell "Big score for me, I am awesome!" He is always entertaining though! Tonight is rodeo, ladies I will take the camera and share with with you!

and here is one for miss vadergrrrl. She can pretend she doesn't like us redneck people, but deep down I know she loves us! You are just to funny Miss V!
Gretchen Wilson Redneck Woman Lyrics



Well I ain't never
Been the barbie doll type
No I can't swig that sweet champagne
I'd rather drink beer all night
In a tavern or in a honky tonk
Or on a 4 wheel drive tailgate
I've got posters on my wall of Skynard, Kid and Strait
Some people look down on me
But I don't give a rip
I'll stand barefooted in my own front yard with a baby on my hip

Cause I'm a redneck woman
And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin' it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah

Victoria's Secret
Well their stuff's real nice
Oh but I can buy the same damn thing on a Wal*Mart shelf half price
And still look sexy
Just as sexy
As those models on TV
No I don't need no designer tag to make my man want me
You might think I'm trashy
A little too hard core
But get in my neck of the woods
I'm just the girl next door

Hey I'm redneck woman
And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Tanya Tucker song
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah

I'm redneck woman
And I ain't no high class broad
I'm just a product of my raisin'
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"
And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year long
And I know all the words to every Ol' Bocephus song
So here's to all my sisters out there keeping it country
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah

Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah
Hell Yeah

I Said Hell Yeah

Since we were talking about cowboys.

My great grandaddy was a Texas cowboy, back before I was ever born of course. I never got the chance to met him, but the list of cowboys in my family has gone on since then. My mom dragged me and my sister to rodeos from here to Canada and back again. I have been to the stampede in Calgary, Cheyenne frontier days many many times, and every one inbetween. I take my kids now, and they all 3 want to be cowboys. I have always had a love for horses, and there is nothing in the world that I would love more than owning about 50 acres and some horses for the boys. Sadly the life of the true cowboy is becoming a thing of the past. Cowboys use to spend more time in the saddle, rounding up their cattle, breaking horses, riding the range. Now days you see them doing it with 4 wheelers and helicopters, but as long as there is rodeo there is still hope of keeping the spirit of the cowboy alive. Tomorrow is parade day, which kicks off fair and rodeo week here, yeeeeehaaaaw I love the rodeo!

Cowboys

Yeah I have this thing for them. You all think it is their nice butts, and their good at, well stuff. Those are valid points, but let me tell you why cowboys are the sexiest men around. I went to get dog food tonight, and I go to the feed store to get my dog food, because it is cheaper there. There I am with my 3 little boys, trying to keep an eye on them, and get 2 35 pound bags of dog food, cause I have 3 big dogs. I suddenly here "Let me get those for you." thinking it was an employee of the store
I turn around to see it is not an employee oh no it was Mr. Cowboy. Oh he was yummy, with the biggest brown eyes peeking out from under his hat, and yeah he had the butt too. He stood there smiling, and at that moment he could of had anything he wanted from me. I politely told him it was ok I could manage, but you see cowboys are gentlemen he wouldn't take no for an answer, he grabbed up my dog food bags and took them to the counter for me. Then this sexy man waits for me to pay, we made small talk and the boys asked him if he was a real cowboy, and he teased them about roping sheep and they giggled. I though he was waiting in line to make his purchase, but the cashier gives me my receipt and he grabs up my purchases and carries them to the car for me. I was telling him the whole way that I could get them and he insisted the whole way that it was no trouble to help out a lady in need, little does he know he left me in more need than he found me! I thanked him for his help, and I am sure I had that look in my eyes that said "take me here and now." He said it was no problem at all wished me a good night, and walked off to get in his Dodge truck! Oh man I am hanging out at the feed store every flipping day now. Yeah cowboys are yummmy.

Saturday

It should be a day to sleep in right. I think someone forgot to tell the idiot that lives behind me that people don't get up at 6 am on Saturday morning, and we are in the city limits so we have noise laws. He is over there fixing some kind of race car, and from the sound of it he must be putting a jet freaking engine in the damn thing! I don't flipping mow my lawn at 6 am, and if I did you can bet the cops would be at my house seconds after I started the mower, but that is just the kind of luck I have. I would of sworn he had the car parked under my bedroom window it was so loud. I am not an expert on jet engines, but I am pretty sure that revving them up full throttle for a solid hour and a half can't be good for them. I think the sound of it just makes him feel manly or something, because the vrrrroommmm vrrrrrooommmmm vrrrooooommmmmmmm didn't stop long enough for the guy to even add a quart of oil. I seriously thought about getting the 9mm out and shooting holes in his radiator, but I didn't want to be hauled off to jail in front of my boys. So tonight I will just teach the boys the value of revenge, and sugar his gas tank.

Ok some links of the day for you people to look at.
funny stuff I borrowed this one from Ren.

This one is just flat porn, so if your offended by that sort of thing don't click on this link. This guy likes to pay for sex and then blog about it.

Some special advice.

This is for you women who feel hurt and upset when your sugar butt forgets those special little moments in life, like your birthday and anniversary. Quit feeling sorry for yourselves,buck up for Christ sake he is only human! Yesterday was Steve's birthday, he was out of town, and when he called instead of wishing him a happy birthday we had a big ass argument, but what's new we seem to be doing that a lot lately. Then this morning I remember yesterday was his birthday, and birthdays are a big deal with his family. To me they are for the kids, I mean sure it is nice for people to remember, but I don't get all bent out of shape if they don't. So now when he comes home tonight in his pouting, pissy mood, because we are fighting, he will always have hurt feelings, because I don't care enough to remember things like that! Good grief maybe they will just send him on another job and he won't make it home this weekend!

UPDATE:
My weekend is free and clear, my wish was granted they sent him on another job woooohooo. Now I will go and get him a birthday present from the boys and that should make up for it!

A journey into my past.

I was blog hopping tonight as I do so often. I came to Miss Vadergrrrl's blog. I know most people stop by because she talks about sex, and who doesn't like sex, but she is really so much more than you read in her sex posts. Vadergrrrl is a such a beautiful person inside and out. So anyway she has a few poems she wrote from her younger years posted. I got to wondering just what I wrote when I was younger. I have boxes of stuff I have written over the years. I actually learned a lot about my life going through the box from 8th grade to my first year at college. I was a messed up child. I wrote a lot about death, mostly my own. I may have been a bit suicidal ok I was a lot suicidal. I wrote a lot about being insane and going insane. I think that stems for the fact that I have never really felt like people understand me. Which is my fault really I tend to close doors when people get to close to me, but I am learning not to do that anymore. I have poems about every one of my boyfriends, and some of them I have no clue who they were, Matt was apparently really hot and a really good kisser when I was 15. He must not have been that hot or that good, cause I have no memory of him now. I have always been flighty about relationships though. I also found pictures my friend Randy drew for me, I miss him, and often wonder what happened to him. I wrote volumes about Jason, my friend that died in a head on collision our senior year, because he was drinking and driving. I will never forget sitting in marketing class just a few days before it happened. He was giving me crap about my car being parked on the sidewalk and him telling me I shouldn't drive when I am wasted, that just made me cry. I also discovered I wanted so badly to kill my best friend and I quote "I wish I could just stick a knife through his heart and watch him die." I have several about him some good some not so good. We were actually just best friends, but we were together so much everyone just assumed we were dating so I guess we started believing it too. I left him to move to Denver where I met the love of my life. You know that one special person you should spend the rest of your life with, yeah he is in Colorado somewhere still. I still write about him a lot, but you can't live in the what could of been. I have always had a great fear of being alone. I always feel alone, and I am always searching for ways not to be, that may explain why I have always jumped from man to man. I think they can save me from myself, when in reality the only person that can save me is me. I don't know if I am sad I went on that journey or enlightened, maybe a bit of both. So I leave you with this.
Cold dark and alone
Pictures on a wall
deep water still and blue
colors of a full moon
dripping tears fragile and frail
cold dark and alone

Nothing happening today.

Ok just more song lyrics that I can identify with. This is an Eagles song off thier Hell freezes over album. I don't know if I will ever get to the place in life where I Learn to be still. That place where I am content to be. This song pretty well sums up me and how I have went through life, pretty depressing really.


Learn To Be Still

It's just another day in paradise

As you stumble to your bed

You'd give anything to silence

Those voices ringing in your head

You thought you could find happiness

Just over that green hill

You thought you would be satisfied

But you never will-

Learn to be still

We are like sheep without a shepherd

We don't know how to be alone

So we wander 'round this desert

And wind up following the wrong gods home

But the flock cries out for another

And they keep answering that bell

And one more starry-eyed messiah

Meets a violent farewell-

Learn to be still

Learn to be still

Now the flowers in your garden

They don't smell so sweet

Maybe you've forgotten

The heaven lying at your feet

There are so many contradictions

In all these messages we send

(We keep asking)

How do I get out of here

Where do I fit in?

Though the world is torn and shaken

Even if your heart is breakin'

It's waiting for you to awaken

And someday you will-

Learn to be still

Learn to be still

You just keep on runnin'

Keep on runnin'

I am not a child.

I love my dad, really I have always been a daddys girl. I don't, however always get along with him, and usually after about a day we are on each others nerves. He tends to treat me like a child, and I tend to get mad. Well my dad went on this little trip with us, so we were together a lot. So we were eating dinner one night and dad and I started to have a little arguement. My mom says just eat your dinner and quit fighting. My baby looks innocently at his grandfather and says "dust keep chewing drandpa, dust keep chewing."

I just felt so left out.

Wackiness: 66/100
Rationality: 40/100
Constructiveness: 70/100
Leadership: 66/100


You are a WECL--Wacky Emotional Constructive Leader. This makes you a people's advocate. You are passionate about your causes, with a good heart and good endeavors. Your personal fire is contagious, and others wish they could be as dedicated to their beliefs as you are.

Your dedication may cause you to miss the boat on life's more slight and trivial activities. You will feel no loss when skipping some inane mixer, but it can be frustrating to others to whom such things are important. While you find it difficult to see other points of view, it may be useful to act as if you do, and play along once in a while.

In any event, you have buckets of charisma and a natural skill for making people open up. Your greatest asset is an ability to make progress while keeping the peace.

Home sweet home!

Oh what a trip. Really the trip to Grand Junction was pretty good, the boys didn't even fight to much. We got the GJ and spent Friday shopping for food for the anniversary party we had for my grandparents. The Sams club here has premade meat and cheese trays, veggies trays, and fruit trays, do you think the one in Junction has them? Well you would be wrong cause they don't. We had to buy all the stuff and make the tray ourselves oh the fun! My sister didn't get in until 11pm, so we were all up late Friday night and got up early to get the hall decorated. So we had the party and it was really good all the family showed up. So Sunday was the 4th and all, so what was left of the group, about 15 of us went to the baseball stadium to watch the fireworks. This is something I will never do again. We dropped all the people off at the gate and went and park the cars. Well the closest place to park ended up being 3 miles away, which was fine until the fireworks got over, they did a wonderful job with those. So the drivers, one of whom was me, had to hike this 3 mile trek while 12 people waited at the gate for us. Well that stupid town had all traffic blocked off back into the stadium! We couldn't get back to our people, so we bribed a traffic cop and he finally let us go through after driving around for half an hour, and hiking 3 miles to the cars. That was a fun night for sure! So Monday rolls around and the group decides we should have breakfast out. Well everything went well at breakfast until my cousins husband locked his keys in his car, this is a sign of just how smart he really is, I was impressed by this show of ability! Well we wanted to get on the road to Denver so we left them after dad decided the antenna they twisted off the car the cousins borrowed from his mom, wasn't going to help. We got on the road to Denver, with big plans of shopping and playing, boy were we wrong. Never, I repeat never go over Eisenhower tunnel on a holiday weekend. It took us 6 hours to make a trip that usually should take 3. The traffic was at a stand still and when we did get to move it was 5 miles an hour. So there went the shopping, stupid damn people can't go home on a Sunday no they have to wait until I want to get over the mountain! So we got to Denver at like 9:30 pm, the kids can't swim, we can't shop, and everyone is cranky. We got a motel and went to bed. We had a great day today though. We went to the aquarium, and then my sister, who loves the Broncos, had never seen the new Field so we went over and took her pictures with the horses and she wandered around the stadium for like an hour or maybe longer, I lost track of time as I was baking in the sun and trying to keep the boys out of the fountain! Then we headed home. I am so glad I am home, were there is no traffic, and no people. Missed you all and now I am going to go blog hopping!

God I am addicted, one more before I am off to bed.

You are Colombia. You rock in that special way only
the squeaky can.


Which Rocky Horror character are you?
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I love you guys,

I am going to miss you all so much, I can barley see through my tears. I am all packed and ready to go! Yeehaw! The van is loaded, and now I will go put some gas in it and I am ready. I still have to do the damn dishes, but everything else is done! You all have a lovely week, I know it will be hard to do without me, but try people, the world doesn't revolve around me, just take small step, one day at a time. I know you'll get through it. Love you all and I will see ya next week. Except you Tricia I will be expecting that email!

Does that imply something bad?

Your Heart is Orange


What Color is Your Heart?
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I flipped up my yahoo messenger and this though just stuck in my head, it says "I'm available" that could be miss leading really, because I am married, but yet there it is for anyone to see "I'm available" now I just have to determine what I am available for. Oh sure there are other options like invisible, but I would much rather be available than invisible! Anyway where am I going with this on yeah. I do have IM and I can be reached most of the time cause I'm available, so if ya want to chat me up go ahead I don't bite unless you ask real nice.

Damn you people are demanding!

Ok I don't have anything creative to share with you at all today, but had to do something. I don't want to get accused of having a life or anything, cause you know I don't. I am getting ready for my trip to see my grandparents. We are having a big 60th anniversary party that was suppose to be a surprise, but the stupid person who made the invites somehow managed to leave that little fact out! I am not making invite to anything else as long as I live! So we are leaving on Thursday, oh the joy and fun of traveling with 3 small boys. The trip takes about 2 hours longer than it should with all the "mom I have to pee" "mom I am Hungary", but it is always worth it to see my family. I miss my grandparents a lot. My mom and dad and sister and I will then take the boys to Denver to do something fun on the way home, not quite sure what yet, but we will figure out something.

Mud what a mess.

Yeah they make a big mud hole in the back yard, and then proceeded to swim in it. They are quick, and I knew they were up to something it was way to quiet out there, and I was running. So I got off the treadmill went to check it out, and I started to yell. I almost screamed and hollered about what a mess it was, for a moment I was mad. Then I remembered a little girl we all know, Savannah, and I shut up and I got the camera and took pictures of them, and I wadded in the mud with them, and I stomped and splashed water with them, and I hugged them and we were all covered in mud. I feel so blessed to have them, and so guilty that mine are all healthy, while little Savannah isn't. Then I got to thinking how short life is, and yeah I have them now, but what about tomorrow anything could happen tomorrow. I think I will spend more time splashing in the mud, and less time being mad about the mess!

This is what my boys did yesterday while I was on the treadmill! 

OH yeah we run naked through the streets here.

My boys have taken to climbing the fence to escape to the front yard. I looked out awhile ago, and to my surprise running down the sidewalk was my 3 year old. He doesn't like clothes so I dress him and he goes outside and takes off his clothes. I am about to give up on keeping him dressed, and just let him go naked from now on. It would save on laundry anyway. So I look out the window and there is this naked kid running down the street. I think "that kids mom should get some clothes on him." I go back to whatever it was I was doing at the time, and it dawns on me that was my kid running down the sidewalk. I ran out the door to here him yelling "I'n free, I'n free". I then had to chase him down, and if you have every tried getting a naked 3 year old who doesn't want to be got back in the house, you know it is no easy task. They are quicker then you might imagine. I think it is the fact that they have no clothes creating drag, which also makes it really hard to grab onto them. I finally caught him half way up the block, and he started screaming "no don't take me, don't take me." I am glad there were no strangers in the neighborhood, I am sure they would of thought I was stealing this naked little boy.

The lake was lovely

I took the boys to the lake yesterday. We had planned on doing a little fishing, but we got there and I fed them some lunch, and then it started raining. Not just a little rain, no it was like someone was scooping buckets full of water out of the lake and dumping them on us. We were standing in a little shelter watching it wash the hillside away, and almost a camper and a boat. The boys decided we should check the worms to make sure they were ok. I gave them each a worm, and the middle one stuck him under his tongue, because that is how every good fisherman hooks the big one. The baby wanted to eat his worm, but wanted to wash the dirt off it first. It rained like that for about 45 minutes, and then cleared to a drizzle. We had a lot of fun really, and the boys decided we really do have hurricanes in Wyoming. We watched some Canadian geese with babies, you know when it rains they look straight up at the sky. We saw a beautiful buck mule deer, he is going to have a huge spread. The deer are so pretty this time of year they are in velvet, and it has been a good spring for them they are sleek and shiny. We saw some pelicans, yes we have them here. The boys always think they are funny looking, and they are. We also got to see the golden eagles, we have 2 mating pair out there right now, they are awesome. My favorite of all the birds of prey, you know when eagles mate they fly as high as they can, and free fall until they almost hit the ground. It was a great day, even if we didn't' get to fish.

You're Marilyn Monroe!


What Classic Pin-Up Are You?
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Stole this from Ren. I really want to know if Tricia and Collin are the same thing, but don't know if we will get Collin to take this quiz.

I am as graceful as a swan!

We had our trip to walmart yesterday. We were all getting along fairly well, which mean the boys were actually being good. The middle one decided he was going to help push the basket, so he stood inbetween me and the cart. I hate shoes, always have so I were those cork shoes, and we are walking along and I trip over the middle one, get my little toe stuck on his shoe, he takes a step sideways and my little toe goes with him, so I jerk my foot back and slam it into the wheel of the cart. That all happened in about 2 seconds. I think the toe is broken, it is black and purple all the way up my foot, anyway the point of my tragic little tale, my sweet middle child is so full of caring and love, looks at me and say "if you had shoe on that would of never happened mom." I told him I did have shoes on, he says "not those damn things mom, real shoes that cover your feet." I was laughing so hard through my tears of pain. This child told me the same thing my father has told me all my life, "put some shoes on" daddy always says. I guess that is good he is looking out for me, someone has to, and for 4 he is wise beyond his years!

The stupid things I do.

What the hell was I thinking? I know this girl she is 18, and has a 2 year old baby. She is a good kid really, just got into a little trouble. So anyway I watch her little boy from time to time, and I had him last night. He is going through the whole biting thing so the 4 of them battled all night. When his mom came to get him, she told me that she got offered a better job, which is great she needs the money. She is fixing to get married, and things in life are falling into place for awhile. So she asked me if I would be willing to babysat. I without thinking, because I feel sorry for her, say sure sweetie I would do that for you. Then she tells me it would be from 6:30 in the morning to like 3 in the afternoon. What the hell? Who gets up that early? I am just barley going to bed at 6:30 in the morning. I guess I am stuck with even less sleep than before now! I should be slapped for my stupidity, but then I look at her life, and realize she feels safe leaving her baby in my care, she needs a friend she can depend on, and she is young. How can I not help her out? Things have been a mess for her up until this point and she is doing the best she can. Yeah, I will get up that early for her.

Love is a game, relationships are work.

Oh how sweet it is when you fall in love. When you fall in love everything is so new and so good. You long to spend every waking moment together, just gazing at one another. The sky is beautiful, the trees are beautiful, hell everything is beautiful. Jack and his romantic little tail of young love got me thinking about it. "In love", just saying it makes me float. I remember the days when I was "in love" I was always in love, with someone though, but I digress. The first year is the best, you have everything in common, even if you hate it you will say you love it just because the person your in love with likes it. You compromises, you don't want to piss each other off, cause your in love. Then if your lucky enough to work through the next year, you start thinking, what the hell am I doing? You don't have as much in common as you thought, and now your not afraid to say you don't like it. Compromise oh sure there is still compromise, but it is not as easy as it once was and it's now call argument. The time rolls on, and you don't really want to spend every waking moment with this person anymore, but you still love each other, you just not in love anymore. So you go from day to day wondering why the hell you got yourself into such a place in life. Wondering if you would be happier without this person in your life, wondering about true love.
The ones that know the difference between true love and in love, they are the ones that make it work. They are the ones that understand everyday is not full of romance and beautiful skies. They know the one they love is going to piss them off, but they know the same goes both ways. The people in life that have found true lasting love know it takes work, hard work to keep a relationship together. They have a common goal of making it work. I think a lot of times the in love people rush into things without understanding how much work is involved in a relationship. There is so much give and take, and knowing when to say things and when to shut up, paying the bills, taking care of life. It all gets in the way of romance and nothing is new anymore. Yeah relationships are work. I sometimes long for those days of being in love. Oh they were so easy and carefree and wonderful, not all this work trying to keep everything running smooth. Yeah sometimes in love would be nice. To bad life is not like that all the time. In another life I think that is what I will do, fall in love and when that one ends I will just find someone else and do it all again, yep in other life.

The running is paying off!

Oh yeah look at me go! I have lost 12lbs! WOOOHOOO!! Sorry I just had to share my joy and excitement with you all! 12 freaking pounds in 8 days! Oh yeah! I am haaaapppyyyyy today.

Derek got to pick the words this time!

Our wonderfully funny and always sweet Derek got to pick the words this time. So go here and post your stories. Yeah I mean now, what did you think I meant later?

Hockey tape baby, hockey tape.

Ok I will share a secret with you all. Shhh don't tell though, you have to promise! Everyone knows duct tape and wd40 can fix anything around the house. So here is something that works in my house. Hockey tape, we have lots of it laying around, might be the fact that the boys love hockey so much. I am glad they do, or I would have never found this wonderful invention! The other day we ran out of bandages, well anyone with small children knows bandages make everything better. So in a panic I searched for something to replace it, and found, yep you guessed it the hockey tape. Now every time they get an owwie they ask me to tape them up. Oh the joy of hockey, and it has so many practical uses! So go now to your nearest sporting good store and get you some hockey tape, it works on so many levels.

I love sunsets like these! 

The view from my house last night! 

Daddy's girl

I have always been a daddy's girl, even now in my life I always want to please him. I don't think there is ever going to be a time when he lets me grow up, but that is ok. He loves me and I love him more than words can say! He is my daddy, and I thought since today was fathers day I would share him with you! Daddy is always way to giving and caring, he is one of those people that gets into trouble, because he is always helping someone out. He will give away everything he owns if someone needs it more then him. Which has caused more than one fight with mom! He is the toughest person I have ever met, he never complains, and just does what needs to be done. Daddy joined the army when he was 17, went to boot camp, turned 18 and got shipped off to vietmam for a tour and a half. I always tell the boys that he is a hero, but he always say he isn't. I still think he is a hero, not for serving his country, for all the little things daddys do for their kids, that is what makes him my hero. Happy fathers day daddy, I love you more than you know.

Yeah I am daddy's girl! 

All dressed up! 

Know wonder I always like a man in uniform!  

Ya just had to touch it huh!

We have baby robins in a nest in our tree. Most birds don't survive long in our yard, Jake the lab, gets most of them. He can't help it, he loves to carry them around in his mouth until they drowned in his slobber. He never leaves a mark on them, just carries them around. We don't use our dogs for hunting, so Jake feels he is a bird dog without a purpose and finds his own to play with. Yesterday the boys beat Jake to the baby robin, baby birds are so easy to get a hold of. So I tell them don't mess with it, you will hurt it. Do they listen, well no, why would they listen to mom? They chased it around the yard until exhaustion set in and the poor thing couldn't even fly anymore, and that is when the rain started, it was coming down in buckets. Well there are the boys soaked to the bone, and in they come, the baby holding tight to the little robin.
"He can't fly mom, and we can't get him to his nest."
"Damnit, get that bird back outside, you can't keep it in here."
"But mom..."
"ok let me see it."
The bird didn't appear to be scared at all. I got a towel, wrapped him up, and it just sat there looking at me. I got it all dry and he fluffed up his feather. Then it stopped raining and I took the poor little thing back outside, it hopped back inside. I took it to the tree, and it fell out of the tree! So I just left it and told the boys not to mess with it. Well anyone that speaks 3-5 year old knows that what I said translated into, "pick up that baby robin and carry it around, and squeeze it and pet it, and drop it several time." Which they did! I looked out and the baby had it by the tail feathers. He didn't mean to hurt his birdy, but the little baby robin was dead.
"I told you boys not to touch the bird!"
"He my friend, mom. He lobs me!" the baby says holding the bird close to him.
"Honey you killed him, now his mom is going to miss him."
"No he not dead, he dut sleeping, he tired mom, we played hard."
I took the baby bird from my baby's hands and told him the bird was dead and that is what happens with you mess with wild little birds, they die. The boys were all very sad, they never wanted to kill it they just wanted to touch it and play with it.

Wake up momma it's sunshiny.

I love it when the boys wake up before I do. The baby always comes in and crawls in bed with me. He starts kissing me on the head and telling me "waked up mommmmma, its sunshiny." Today was one of those days, then soon after he comes in his brothers follow him in. So I have a bed full of children begging me to get up and enjoy the day with them. They are all in a good mood today which is good the fighting will be less. I think we will put on our roller blades, and see if mom can kill herself in a little street hockey and then we may play a game of tackle mom, which is our version of football. This is the only time I really play sports, because I just sucks at them. In a few years I won't be playing with them either, they will have their little friends take moms place in these games. Time seems to go by so fast with them. They grow and grow, and no matter how little I want them to stay it doesn't happen. There will come a day when the girls start coming around, and I will be replaced again. I don't look forward to letting go, each time I have to let one move ahead, they take a piece of me with them. I just hope they always know how much I love them, and when they are grown I still have a place in their lives.

Strange day's indeed!

Last night we decided to watch a movie, Mystic River. So I got some blankets and pillows and me and the boys spread them on the floor and we got all snuggled up. The first half hour of the movie is ok, not great, but that is as far as I made it. I feel so sound asleep in the floor cuddled up with my babies, it was nice, but the floor is not a good place for an old woman to sleep, I am just now getting the feeling back in my arm. Good thing Steve was home to put the boys to bed, but he knew better than mess with me, standard rule is when mom sleeps let her sleep! The oldest has been going to vacation bible school with his little friend from school. We are not church people so this is a knew experience for him. The other night I asked him if he liked it and he told me "yeah it's ok, but not nearly as good as hockey!" I think he is hooked on hockey! Last night Steve asked him what he was learning and he told his dad "oh about Jesus and God and all that damn crap dad!" I hope he doesn't talk that way in bible school!


oh and hey I have a new friend she is a great lady, so make her feel welcome to our world, cause I kind of pushed the whole blog thing on her! I know you all will, because that is just the kind of sweet loving people that hang out here anyway.

Ok so I haven't been it a great mood lately,

Yes it is true I have been having those reflect on life and wonder why the hell I even bother blues, but last night I decided to just take life as it comes and get over it! So I put the Billie Holiday CD away, turned on some Toby Keith, "I'm just talking about tonight", and am determend to just enjoy the little things in life that make me happy, while they last. It is a good day indeed! Hope everyone else is have a good day as well.

Languid yep that is how I am, and not in a good way!

The sweat is pouring off my body, my legs are quivering, my whole body is shaking. I am finding it difficult to breath, and may pass out at any minute. Oh the joy! You people and you know who you are and all the talk of big butts and what not, has made me get out the exercise equipment! Damn you people! I my die of a heart attack, before I get into any kind of shape though, and right now I am longing for death! I did make it 2.5 miles today, was trying for 3, but that is the story of my life I never follow through with anything!

Just a little less than half!

Got this from Angie. See I am not as nice as I like you to think!

I AM 49% ASSHOLE/BITCH! I may think I am an asshole or a bitch, but the truth is I am a good person at heart. Yeah sure, I can have a mean streak in me, but most of the people I meet like me. Take the ASSHOLE/BITCH test at Fuali.com

Sad days

You know I always rely on Monkey to cheer me up. He is always on the ball with the funny stuff. When I have been sad, Monkey is there. When I am bored Monkey is there. I read his page and I laugh so hard I cry. Monkey is a very special person in my life, and I am so glad I found him. He is always leaving such wonderful comments to everyone, not just at his page, no Monkey is everywhere! So today I went over to the Monkey cage to see what was going on in his world. Well he had a sad story for me today, and I know his heart is broken. He had to put his little corgi to sleep. His post today didn't bring tears of laughter, no I cried with my friend Monkey today! I hope your day gets better my friend you are in my thoughts!

A world with sleep

I just don't have anything to write about really! I just got a good nights sleep for a change, and felt like writing something, as I am just in a good mood. I did just jab a piece of plastic toy about 2 inches into my foot, but I am trying not to let that ruin my good mood! We went to Office max yesterday, that is like turning a child loose in a candy store, I had forgotten how much stuff there is in there that I want. Ok on to the point. We saw a big bad Dodge Truck, I love dodge trucks, and there is something about a cowboy in a dodge truck that is just yummy. Well that's not where I was going this morning either, on to the point. Proudly displayed on the tail gate are these word WHY STROKE IT WHEN YOU CAN RAM IT Dodge is great and those are wise words, why would you own a ford when you can own a Dodge Ram? Now I have lost some of you huh? Ok you see Ford has the power stroke engine in their trucks, Dodge trucks are called Rams. I am just shocked that you would be thinking that could have any other meaning you people are bad. I am off to drink more coffee and daydream of Trucks and cowboys and all the good stuff in life!

Oh the music

I love music. There is always music playing in my house, the boys love to sing and dance. They don't really know that some people don't do that all the time. Music can heal your soul, it is comforting, it is always there for you. I was talking to a friend of mine today about how there are those certain songs that you can see yourself in, you know those one you go that is so much me. I think my song has always been Rock Me by steppenwolf. I love steppenwolf, I have not listened to them in quite awhile, so tonight I drug out my cassettes. I found my treasured tape. I would have to say it still fits me. I have spent so much of my life searching and I don't even know what I am looking for, and I do need an answer to my confusion, and all I get is something like this....


ROCK ME
Steppenwolf

She asked me maybe
I would share her sorrow
About the men that tried to treat her wrong

Though just a baby
A waiting her tomorrow
It's rock me baby, rock me baby
All night long

She needs an answer to her confusion
someone to guide her with tenderness
But if she's asking for a solution
All that she gets
You know it's something like this

Don't know where we come from
Don't know where we're going to
But if all of this should have a reason
We would be the last to know

So let's just hope there is a promised land
Hang on till then as best you can
Everybody's ills you know it

Fills her with compassion
That's why she tries
To save the world alone

She helps the needy in her own fashion
And tries to give them all her own
Rock me baby, rock me baby
All night long

Here are pictures that won't hurt your eyes!

Unlike the ones I posted earlier, these are much much cuter. I finally decided to share my babies with the world. It scared me to do this, you don't know what kind of weirdos are out there, but I thought if Derek and Collin are not afraid someone is going to start stalking them in all their cuteness I shouldn't fear putting the boys here!

Look out their on the loose!  

Oh yeah he is so cool! This is my little hockey player! That is his brother, who is going to play one day I am sure! Dad is the only one who doesn't share my love for hockey! 

My boys with there Aunt! My sister is single by the way!  

Collin has made more promises!

Yes that is right promises promises! He says that if 7 people will play the story game he will do it over the whole weekend, but like most promises made by men there is a catch! You must go to the forum and tell Collin you will play his little games! You see you go click on the GAMES OPEN TO EVERYONE, then see those words that say story telling game 3, yeah those, click there and go beg Collin to let us have the whole weekend! I need the whole weekend people, I am sleep deprived and dangerous! I don't like to beg, but I am going to please, please, please, with sugar and a cherry on top! Here this will be easier just click hereyeah right here. Now go to the bottom post there you go! Now click reply and type "Collin I will play your games!" and then Collin, who we all love so much, just threw that in because of the man bashing at the beginning, will post the new words! YEAH! Really I do need the whole weekend! Please play!


and would someone please teach me to spell Promises! For the life of me this just doesn't look right, and the spell check skips right over it! I am giving up for the night and going to bed! I need more sleep!

Time for a new post!

My baby just told me I was a genius! I have no idea why he said that to me, but hey I am not going to let him take it back. The time when he thinks I am anything but a genius will be here before to long, and I will treasure the fact that there was one time in his life I was the smartest person in his world!

Now I just have to come up with more stuff and soon the pictures will be a thing of the past!

Take you pick they are all me!

The only thing that has changed much, the size of my butt! Oh god, now I have to get out the flipping exersize equipment! Ok now will you people quit nagging me, yeah you know how you are! Now go do some work or something! Oh and yeah after I figured out the hello thing it wasn't really as hard as I tried to make it!

Don't look I have no makeup on, but isn't that baby just to cute. 

This one is the newest picture I have of me, but really I look just like that now too.

I don't always wear leather, in fact since an ex hocked it, well I don't even what to talk about it 

OH yeah I was cool alright! Just look at my leather! 

Hockey is expensive!

Never let your children play hockey! It is freaking expensive! I have shelled out over $300 bucks already with skates, pads, helmets, gloves, pants, dues, and camp! Now another Camp is coming, but this is a really good camp.Robby Glantz he does a great power skating camp. He also teaches power skating to the pros ohhhhh! It is another $125! I think I may go broke, or worse have to start selling my body for hockey money! I can't crush his dreams, he really wants to go to Planet hockey next summer, and that is way to expensive, but it looks so fun even I wanted to go. They have white water rafting and mountain biking and all that. I suppose I could get an extra phone line and set up a call girl service, or maybe I will just pimp Steve out I could probable make a quick buck there. OH the things I will do to see my children happy, just hope Steve is willing!

No I am just reduced to blogging.

I don't know what is up with my messengers! I can't get in to either of them! I can't get to the forum, and I can't get to other blogs now. So this is all I can do! It updated itself and after it restarted everything went to hell! Oh well Steve is home tonight, and I may go to bed early, and let him deal with the children! Oh never mind I just figured it out! After it wouldn't let me post this! I must have bumped into my cable box! Oh god the panic I felt was unreal, is the sick?

Ever have one of those days?

I am lacking the adventure that use to be in my life. I think it is the fact that summer is here, and I want to play in the sun. I use to be such a fun person, and now I seem to have no life. I want that fun person back again and she is so lost. I use to have the ability to make everyone laugh, and have a good time. I use to want to be the life of every party, and it was my goal to make sure everyone around me was happy. I think I need to find that person again, and I don't know where to start.

Frolic in the fun!

Collin is at it again, and not only has he let us play games on his blog he has devoted a whole forum to playing games and having fun!Fun and games for all so please come and join us. I think Heather is avoiding us now though! She won the last round, she has a title to protect, and she is in hiding now? Heather come out and play with us!

speaking of fun I thought I would share this with you all.

One of these days,

My boys are all going to end up getting kidnapped. They don't know what the word stranger means. We went to walmart tonight, and my oldest he asked everyone we go by, "What is your name" then if they tell him, which most everyone does, he strikes up a conversation with them.
"Hi Shelley how old are you? I am five almost six."
" I am 28, boy almost 6 huh, are you going to get toys for your birthday?"
"No my mom won't get me any toys anymore, because I break to much stuff." and I get a weird look for the girl he is talking to.
"That is not really true, sweetie, tell the nice girl what your getting this year for your birthday." Lieing through my teeth, because he knows it is true, he has a habit of smashing stuff with a bat or a stick when he is done playing with it. So this year I told him no toys, he could have hockey camp or something like that, but no toys. He wanted hockey camp anyway so it wasn't really good punishment.
"Mom is getting me hockey camp this year, and maybe some clothes." He tells her.
"Oh you like to play hockey."
"Yes I play hockey, I am going to play for money one day, you don't have to have a job if your a hockey player."
He tells her as I am dragging him away saying "Come on let's let this nice girl finish her shopping."
"BYE SHELLEY" he screams as I am pulling him away.
This same conversation repeated throughtout the store, it varied to some degree, but was basically the same. He told some people that our dog was diabetic and others he showed my new bra too. I don't think he missed many people through the store. It is always an experience shopping with my kids. The baby tried to steal a tiny baby in a stroller, her mom was looking at something and I looked down and there was my 3 year old pushing a stroller with a strangers baby. "Can we have it mom?" he says to me. Luckily the lady thought it was pretty funny as I explained that the baby was not for sale, then he looked at her mom and said "Can I kiss it?" She said that would be fine, and he gave her a sweet little kiss on the cheek. "Oh it is so soft can you get me one mom?" I told him that he was the last baby I was getting! He was ok with that. The middle one was pretty quiet this trip, but he usually is my quiet one, so I keep a close eye on him!

This is why men should not wear women's clothes.

Yesterday after the track meet we went and had lunch, and as we were leaving we witnessed the oddest couple, a lady with a guide dog, a boy, and a man. The woman and the boy were pretty normal, and then the man gets out of the mini van. I looked at him, looked at my mom, and looked back at the man. Now I have nothing against men wearing women's clothes, I have seen a lot of cross dressing gay men. A lot of them look better than some women I know. I do have to say leave the cross dressing to the gay men, they have style, they look good, they put a lot of time into the look. These cross dressing straight men have none of that, there is no style, no grace. This man had a black AC/DC tee shirt, a full black skirt, with the ruffled slip that stopped just above his knees, heavy white socks that stopped about mid calf, exposing some really white hairy legs, and work boots. He was not pulling off a good look. I just have to say it was apparent why the woman had the guide dog, she was blind as a bat, because she couldn't know how bad he look and still be going out in public with him. I felt so sorry for the little boy though, he has to see his father looking this bad. Now some of you might think I am against cross dresser, but that is just not true. If Steve wanted to put on a dress and parade around for the world to see, I would say fine go ahead. I would get him a nice dress something he looked good in, I would help him pick out some pantyhose, and some matching pumps, and even a lovely purse to go along with the ensemble. I would help him apply his makeup, and when we went somewhere he would look good. I would never allow him to go out of the house looking like that guy did. I am just thankful I don't have to help Steve try to pull off wearing dresses, he likes them just fine on women.

School is out!

We had our last day of school yesterday. We went to the high school and had track day. It was way to hot out for them to have to run. Kids don't seem to notice the heat though, except for my baby. He told me "les det in da shade, I'n hot, you hot ma? I'n hot. You hot dranny? I'n hot" Well there was no shade for him to get in we were in the middle of a football field. He would ask everyone that went by if they were hot, "you hot? mom dat duy hot too." It was pretty funny, cause we were all hot, and I felt about the same way he did, lets find some shade.
My oldest was funny, he was in the first race, and he didn't really understand it was a race, because when it was over he says to me, "mom I got this" and hands me his 3rd place ribbon, "what's it for?" I told him it was for coming in 3rd in the race. He then says "I wasn't in a race mom." So I had to explain to him that when they were all running that was a race. He then informs me "I know what a race is mom, but we were just getting some exercise not racing." I guess they didn't explain track to the kids before they had track day. It really doesn't matter to 5 and 6 year olds if they win or lose that is what is so great about kids. The only thing they care about is if they had a good time. To bad adults don't have the same attitude, wouldn't it make life a whole lot easier if we did.

What I did today

Well you all may not know this about me, but I am forgetful. I would forget my own birthday if there were not people around to remind me, a reminder I don't usually want mind you. I forgot to pay the house taxes, so I had to run down and pay them today. Well on the way to the car I notice that my tags are expired on the car, so as I am loading the boys into car, same one with the expired tags, a city truck pulls up. I am thinking oh shit he is here to tell me that I didn't pay my house taxes. He walks up to me, and I smile getting ready to tell him "yeah I know I am on my way to pay them now." Well he says "Just here to let you know your late with your water bill." I just smile thank him and tell him I will go down and pay it right now. I swear if I had a brain I would be lethal. So I run down and pay the water bill, then run across the street and pay the taxes, from there I made my way down the stairs to pick up my tags. I forgot to put the tags on the car and drove around all day with expired tags, thankfully the cops here don't pay much attention to that kind of thing, because I saw a few and never got pulled over. I went out tonight and put them on. I wonder what else I forgot to do, but the nice thing about being forgetful, is that you really don't worry about it, because you don't ever remember you forgot.

Come play with us!

Collin lets us play games on his blog! Really he does. Everyone should come check it out and leave a story. The deal is he picks 5 words and you have to write a story in the comment section then everyone votes on the ones they like best. It is fun! Come on you know you want to! That is Collin's blog. http://fizzleandpop.blogspot.com stop by and play.

Never go shopping with a man.

Most men believe women like to shop, that it is something we enjoy doing. I can't speak for all women, but I hate it. I like to go to the store get what I need and get the hell out. I have no desire to look at prices and brands and bargain hunt. I personally find it a waste of time and energy. My husbands, on the other hand, likes the thought of saving a few pennies on any item, so shopping with him is never what you would call a joyous thing to do. This weekend he decided we should build a shed in the back yard to keep the new lawn mower, and a few other things in. I still am not sure what made me agree to this idea, the moment "hardware store" was mentioned I should have given up the thought of ever having a shed. We started off at one lumber yard, Steve decided we should price lumber at other store before we bought anything. So I fumbled thought my purse, retrieved a pen and paper and proceeded to write down 4x2x8 $2.65, 4x2x10 $3.95, and so on. After doing this in 3 different stores, and finding the price of lumber is generally the same in all of them, I think to myself, my way of shopping is so much more efficient. We wasted a whole day loading kids in the truck driving to store after store only to write down the same thing plus or minus a few pennies. We have all the prices down and Steve compares them so he can get the very best deal. He will get 2x4x8's at this store, because they are 3 cents cheaper so he saves a total of 25 cents there, and this he will get here and that he will get over at that place and so on saving a total of about $15. Well he spent so much time figuring out where he was going to buy what, that when it came time to actually buy the stuff, the stores were closing, because it was a holiday. I would have stopped at the first store bought my supplies, came home and built a freaking shed oh sure I would have throw away that $15, but I would have a shed now.