Saturday, December 30, 2006

2006 review

Well much like 2005 this year didn't offer much excitement, but then I am getting older and don't require much excitement anymore.
The good things about last year:

David is doing so much better in school that my stomach isn't in knots and my heart isn't breaking making him go off to school nearly as much as it had in the past.

I started working in the school so I have some of my own money and I am off when my babies are home!

The boys had a great christmas.

My granny is much better than she was over the summer.

I lost 30 pounds.

Bad things:
I lost my best friend Doc. That was and is still very hard. He is on the TV stand and I still talk to him most days.

The guinea pig incendent. (D stepped on him and killed him).

I only lost 30 pounds!

Things I am going to do this year:

Listen to more music. I didn't listen to music nearly enough last year and it makes me happy.

Go see my granny.

Go ice skating with the boys more!

Lost more weight!

I wouldn't really call them resolutions just plans. Plans change resolutions fail! Happy New Year!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006


If I have to listen to anymore star wars games I may scream! The boys got a play station and I swore I was never going to let them have one, but I caved in to the pressure. I have given them free play til tomorrow then they go on the timer and can have it for 45 minutes each until christmas break is over. The newness will wear off soon and they won't want to play it so much after awhile. Guitar Hero is pretty fun, but other than that I could take it or leave it. I'm not much of a video game fan myself. They made out like little bandits. We have new hockey backpacks, gear, and cards. We have an interactive drawing table thing, playstation and games, nerf guns, moon shoes, GI joe stuff, and light sabers scattered about the living room. I don't even remember what color the carpet in here is because there is so much stuff laying around. They pick it up and cart more out so I gave up trying to clean up!

I got some clothes, a shampooer for the carpet (if I find the carpet again I may try it out), music download card, and a huge frying pan that will actually cook 6 pork chops at one time in one pan! The bigger they get the more food I have to make and that always means more dirty dishes! I also got some nice towels and a vcr/dvd recorder.

Over all it wasn't a bad christmas I've had worse that is for sure. Mom and dad came up and we went out to eat dinner because they couldn't be here that long. It was nice to play with toys and then go eat, come home and nap for an hour. I always hate having to cook and clean up everything. I think that is what we will do from now on.

Hope you all had a nice Christmas and Happy New year to you all!

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Time keeps on slippin' into the future!

I am busy busy busy. I have been working everyday and it will probably keep going until sometime after the new year, and then we had a hockey tourament last weekend and I was in charge of that so I got to see one game for each boy. Cameron won all four of his games and David's team won 3 out of 4. I was very proud of them both.

I took half the day off monday so I could do my christmas shopping and now I am almost done with it, still have a few things left to get, but not much. I did manage to get the tree up last friday before I had to get to the rink, but I still have not decorated the house the stocking are all sitting here in a pile waiting to be hung so sat. I will have to get busy with that or christmas will come and go and they will still be sitting here.

Other than being to tired to stay up past 10 things are pretty good here. Hope everyone is doing well and I will try to check in soon.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Quick notes

Wholly crap it's already been a long week and it's only tuesday 3 more to go! I am going to be working indefinatly and it isn't that bad really I may go full time as soon as they post the job which would be nice and 2 extra bucks more an hour so that isn't bad at all.

Our boys did great in Colorado. They only took one win out of 4 games, but I didn't even expect them to win any and they kept the games really close. D have a goal and 3 assists through the weekend that was awesome for him! They played like a team and mostly stayed in their positions which was really great.

Steve does go to France in Jan. which sucks he will be gone until March which means he misses a lot of the hockey season.

Well I'm off to hockey Cam has a game tonight!

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving~

I'm sitting here alone all by myself attempting to get 3 kids packed, hockey gear gathered up, dress clothes ironed, because they have to wear dress clothes between games, and me some clothes packed as well so we can leave here at 5am to get to Denver by 1:00 for D's first game. Then I have to get my work clothes washed and put away so that I have something to wear to work next week. I sent the boys all 4 of them off to Steve's sisters house so they could at least have dinner, because I didn't have time to make turkey and all the fixings this year and I didn't really have time to go over there to eat either. I think that made Steve angry, but it wasn't like he pitched in to help me get any of the stuff I had to do done so he really has no reason to be mad at me! I'm off to fold socks now. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I have been doing classified subbing at the schools, and today I got a call for a school that isn't to far away from us that needs someone for possibly the rest of the month and could turn into a full time position for the rest of the year! I hope that it does it would be good to get out of the house everyday while the boys are at school, and really we could use the extra money! So I probably won't be around between working and hockey my time is pretty used up now!

Last week the washer that was only 5 years old quit spinning. It is one of those stupid front load washers and the motor went out. I started searching for a motor only to find that they were about 160 bucks, and then the control panel had to be replaced as well and that was another 180 bucks so last night my wonderful husband who loves me more than anyone should went and bought me a new washer! I love that man he takes such good care of me! I got a top load that is much cheaper to fix and it only cost $260.00!

We have a hockey tourney in Denver the day after Thanksgiving and D is very excited about that! He has invited everyone he knows to come with us. We told him he was going to play the AVS, and he was like "no way they will cream us!"

Steve may have to go to France for 2 months and I really don't like the idea of him being gone so long, but if he goes he will be able to get better raises as he will have the classes that they require them to have. His fingers are still broken, but they think they might heal with a little more time... It's been over 2 months how long do they think it will take?

Anyone doubting global warming? It is mid November and it has been raining here it never rains in the middle of November it snows I'm totally convinced that we are all doomed! Well probably not in my life time, but I do wonder what the future holds for the boys and their kids if we don't take a serious look at what is going on.

That's about all I have I'll try to get around and check up on everyone soon!

Monday, November 13, 2006

Parent teacher conf.

We had our parent teacher conferiences last thursdays and I am pleased to say that all 3 boys are right on track this year! Do you know how good that feels to be able to say they are all 3 doing pretty darn good!

Colton has a problem with talking, but I knew that going in, and I have subbed in his class several time this year already so I know how he is, but he is still learning and doing great!

Cameron started off struggling a little, but then got into the swing of things again and is doing well. He doesn't like to write, which is weird considering how much writing I love! His dad isn't a writer though so that could be where he gets it.

Then we move on to the D man, this child who for the last few years of school has had anxiety issues, low self confidence, and just over all a very hard time trying to master his reading is now raising his hand and answering questions he is eager to go to the board and work out math problems, and he is improving on his reading daily! He is back with his same teachers, and she said "Jenn he is a different child this year, he isn't so shy, and he isn't scared to raise his hand. He is doing great this year." I was so happy, and I think the decision to keep him in 2nd grade was the best one for him!

Thursday, November 09, 2006


So I'm on this committee you all know that already... Last night we had our first meeting and there was one lady that seemed to have a personal agenda to attack me. I don't even know why she was there as she has 2 girls in the program that are very non competitive, and neither one of them is a mite? So I am sure she just came to make sure her opinion of me was heard, because she really didn't have anything beneficial to say other then I like to create chaos and maybe I should just take David out of hockey. First I can't help it that my mini mite is one of the best players on the ice, and hers doesn't get any puck time, and secondly I can't help it that I want to be sure the format they are implimenting is the very best for these kids, because it's out come effects my kids. She thinks we should blindly follow whatever someone else tells her, and I've never been good at blindly following. The thing is she has talked to a few mite parents that want only cross ice situtations. I have talked to just about all of them. I know every damn mite parent out there so I have heard every opinion they all have and half the squirts parents opinions as well. I know how divided this whole mess is, and there is a happy medium but no one wants to compromise. I guess I don't understand why it has to be one way or the other. I have looked at other programs, I have talked to coaches from very respected programs around the country, and I have tried to educate myself on this whole cross ice issue. I can only find a few people that agree that a strictly cross ice program is the best way to go.

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Stop touching me!

I spent the afternoon serving up all kinds of sugary goodness to the first grade class yesterday, they had a great party and then I gathered up my 3 and we came home. From 3:30 to 5:00 I heard "Can we go now mom?" They were ready to trick or treat so with pillowcases in hand me, a ninja, captian Jack, and the grim reaper headed out the door to case the neighborhood for candy. We went up and down the streets stopping at the houses I knew were safe, and made it home by a quarter after 7. The boys scattered there loot from one side of the living room to other to check out what they got, and each of them were quite happy. They enjoyed answering the door and handing out candy to the other ghosts, goblins, and princesses that came a knocking, and then about 8:45 I said "boys start getting your candy picked up and put away it's almost time for bed." The baby looked at me and said "but mom you didn't feed us don't we get dinner tonight?" The other 2 quickly chimed in with "we're hungry for real food mom." I totally forgot I didn't get them any dinner we had been so busy up to that point no one even thought about dinner or maybe I'm just losing my mind either way they eventaully did get some "real food" and were in bed and asleep by 10.

As we were walking from door to door last night David stops turns to me and says "hey mom do you think we could gets signs and yell full ice full ice you know like they do on the news when they want to change something?" This whole mess has him very frustrated and makes me want to scream and hit someone!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Cross ice, Surgery, and the most awesome coach!

David is upset beyond belief, and I can see his point and there is nothing I can do about it. They have taken the mites and went from playing full ice games to cross ice games, now I know some of you have no clue what the means, and basically it will only benefit D's skills. What they are doing is dividing the rink into cross sections and not using the whole ice for their games. Well David's whole view on it is he did his time as a "little kid" and played the half ice games already, then he got to be a big kid and play just like the big guys and all of a sudden they are taking that away from him again and making him play like the little kids do. He is hurt and thinks he's not good enough. No matter how hard I try to explain it to him he now hates hockey. He probably loved playing hockey more than any kid out there, he played with such heart, and he isn't the best player out there by a long shot, he is one of the fastest, but he isn't that great at stick handling and controlling that speed is out of the question he goes balls to the wall, and I can see where this new program will help him out in that, but he can't. What he sees is he isn't good enough. Then I was upset because out of the 15 parents that showed up to the meeting tonight to express their views on it only 3 of us had enough guts to say we are against it. Sunday at practice every parent I talked to was pissed off about it, and then all of a sudden in the meeting only 3 of us spoke up everyone else agreed it was the best and then walked out of the lobby doors pissed off. I was a little baffled by that. Anyway in our house once you start something you finish it and David started the season so he has to finish it, no matter how unpleasant it is going to be for me.

Steve went to the Dr. last Friday and his fingers have about a half in gap between the bones so that means we are looking at surgery to have them fixed, which means he will spend another 2 months on light duty with little or no overtime! I am going to have to get a job if that happens.

Cam has been pissed off about not being able to skate with the big kids, but then he got the coach he wanted and now he is much happier. When Coach told him "Cam your on mine team." Cam jumped up and down and said "YES!" he was very excited. Then he was excited when the mites went to cross ice too, which didn't help the D man situation at all!

Friday, October 27, 2006

Aloha Friday!

The only bad thing about Friday is getting up so freaking early, thankfully D man is always ready I hardly have to say a word to him about getting up he loves hockey that much. Then once practice is over it's over until Sunday that means for 2 whole nights in a row I don't have to go anywhere, and that makes me happy.

I was discussing religion with my neighbor and shocked her I think. When I told her I didn't believe in God she was sad for me. I'm not sad for me why should she be? I'm not sad for her or think she is any less intelligent because she believes. I am very careful when I talk about religion with other people, because I don't want them to think I think they are ideological idiots, that seems to be the way they think we view them. When I was in my early 20's finding God was like a quest for me. I thought "normal" people believed and had faith, and once I realized that I didn't have to believe it was as much as a relief for me as it is for those that search and suddenly find god. There was a great weight lifted off of me. I didn't have to believe in a God to be normal I am as normal as I get just the way I am. I think it's the logical side of my mind that rules. Logically to me there is no possible way that this God could exist and have created all things, but that surely doesn't mean that I pity people who have great faith. I admire the fact that they can blindly believe in something so profound.

Speaking of religion and God my boys have faith that there is a god. David told me last night "mom I know you think Cameron hates you, but he really doesn't every night in his prayers he tells God that he loves you." I asked D man what he says and he told me "He says 'God please don't be mad at me for being mean to mom I love her more than anything.' he says it every night mom." I know Cam loves me, but he likes me to think he doesn't so he can get his way. He requires a lot of attention and I try to split it between 3 kids and Steve and somedays are better than others.

I think it's nap time now. I went to bed at 11 last night fell asleep about 1, woke up at 3 fell back to sleep at 4 and the alarm went off at 5:45. If you add it all up that's almost 4 whole hours of sleep! Normally my sleep comes between 4 and 8 and the little bits I get between 1 and 4 are just an add bonus. I wish I could sleep like Steve his head hits the pillow and he is out.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Working moms

I don't know how mom's who have to work outside the home actually do it and manage to raise kids too. Yesterday I subbed for the Kindergarten Aid and I got nothing done at home. We got out of school and came home grabbed a snack, helped Steve get his hunting junk put away, and then it was off to hockey. This is the 2nd time I have subbed and I like it. I am just going to keep putting my name in for jobs that open up and eventually they will give me a job down there!

Steve had vacation last week and him and my dad went elk hunting. They say they are going hunting, but what they really mean is they are going camping in the cold so they can sit around and drink beer with gossip about the women folk. They both had a great time, but didn't kill anything, which is good really because I hate wild game. I was raised eating it, and then I moved out and discovered beef. Dad has promised to take the boys turkey hunting next month, so that should be a lot of fun for them too.

Travel team hockey is going well. David actually got up before me last Friday and he was ready to go when my alarm went off. He came in and told me to hurry up.

Cam is still mad at me because he is still a mini mite this year, and he wanted to move up to skate with his brother. He is more than able to keep up with them, but his birthday is in January and he needed to be Dec. to move up.

I have 100 things to get done today and I am lacking the ambition to get anything started this morning.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Gather round

Every once in awhile I start writing a new story... I have yet to finish one. I am not a very good writer, but I do love doing it. Today I thought crap I don't have anything else to share so I'll share my latest soon to me stuffed in a file I have named stories I may someday finish...

The cold night air surrounded her like a blanket, the numbing effect of the bitter chill should have made her want to seek refuge indoors, but she kept walking farther away from the shelter of the house. The tears froze to her cheeks as she wandered aimlessly into the night. The kids needed her now more than ever, and if she didn't have them she would lay down in the snow and gladly except whatever fate came her way. The thought of her children gave her some strength, but she wondered if she would be enough for them. It was never in her big plan to raise them all on her own, even when things were at there very worst in her marriage she chose to stick it out and keep her family in tact.

She fell to her knees in the snow, buried her head in her hands and wept. "Damn you!" she screamed, "Damn you for doing this to me!" the tears warmed her cheeks before they froze in a puddle in front of her. Time, that's what she had heard for the last day and a half, it's going to take time to heal, well she didn't want to heal; she wanted her life back the way it was, even the bad times were better than what she had now. The familiar sound of her oldest son's voice brought her back to the world of the living. She stood, brushed the snow off, composed herself as best as she could, and walked back towards the house.

"I'm here, baby." She called to him as she waved her hand in the air. He stood in the doorway waiting for her. She watched as his grandmother walked up behind him. The nerve of that woman she thought, and she wished she would just go home and leave them alone. It wasn't as if she was really concerned for them, she hadn't really cared about them in all this time and it was too late to start caring now. She tried to think back to a time when her mother in law had cared, but she couldn't recall one. Oh she showed up for birthdays and Christmas, but that was about it, and she resented the woman for that and always had.

"Amy what are you doing out here?" her mother in law tried to acted worried, but they had known each other long enough that there really was no need to pretend. Amy wanted to yell at her to go away, but she wouldn't, not with her son standing there.

"I just needed some air." She said as she walked up the steps to her home, their home that seemed so empty now without him in it. She took Joe's hand and brushed past her mother in law, took a deep breath and proceeded to go in and face the family that had gathered at her house. Her 3 boys gathered around her protectively, as if guarding her from a vicious mob. Her boys so young, yet so aware of what was going on. Joey was only 12, and that was far too young to have to be so worried about his own mother. Parents were the ones that needed to worry for their children not the other way around. These boys would be her guiding light, and with them she would weather this storm.

Amy looked around at the people gathered in her living room, his family. They had come for selfish reasons she was sure of that, but she couldn't be sure what their motives were just yet. She was sure that they were not getting a thing from her or her boys she would see to that.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

365 days

The average life span in America is about 75 years. 75 years use to seem like a long time, you know I would see an older person and think wow they have had a long life... Then I got to thinking just how many days it is. 75 years is only 27,375 days. I was really taken back by that. I have been alive for 12,795 days that only gives me 14,580 days, give or take a few years, left. I have wasted at least 2,555 of the days I have already had, and I don't get a do over for those days. It just isn't enough time! I want forever or at least 100,000 days. I don't think that 274 years is that long really, heck I'd even take 50,000 days that is only 137 years! Our time here is just so very short, we are gone in the blink of an eye when it come right down to it. Make good use of your days while you have them, because a day goes by so fast and they are numbered!

Friday, October 13, 2006

I love my boys!

The alarm went off at 5:45 this morning, giving us 15 minutes to get D geared up and out the door. I touched his leg and said "Baby it's time to get up." He jumpped out of bed, grabbed his bag and without so much as an "I'm tired mom" he got ready to go. He was ready before I even got my teeth brushed, and that was all I did. Steve didn't have to go out of town so we were lucky that it was just the 2 of us this morning. I threw on some socks and slippers and out the door we went. I walked into the rink looking just like I had stumbled out of bed, oh yeah I had! All the kids were very excited about being on the travel team so there wasn't any complaints from them, but all of us parents were very quiet this morning staring at each other like we "why are we doing this?" I think the big thing about the travel team parents are they are the dedicated ones, the ones that never miss practice or games, because this is what their child loves to do and we make sure that is what they get to do. Oh sure we complain and would rather sleep in, but we don't because our kids love the game so much.

So we are full swing into hockey now. David will have 4 practices a week and Cam will have 2. We have 3 tournments this year that we have to put on, and 2 or 3 out of town. The out of town ones are easier, because I don't have to work them. The in town ones mean I don't get to watch the boys play as much I will be working them, but it's worth it to let the boys play. I wish more parents were willing to put in the time, but it always seem to be the same parents!

Colton has decided that he doesn't really like hockey, because you have to skate and he hates skating, but the big one is he would get to sweaty and stinky! I think that is awesome! I don't know if I could hack having all 3 of them on the ice at different times.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Over here is yet another debate about the state of our education system. I know all about a child that struggles in a subject. David is still struggling with reading, and as a mentor volunteer I must say that he is not the only child at that school that is struggling. I go in and I read with these kids every Monday and I am in utter shock that ever parent of every one of these children are not at the school every day question why. As a parent it is my responsibility to make sure that my boys get the best education possible, and I just don't see that happening right now. I am not saying they have bad teachers, but it is partly the teachers fault as well as the administration and the parents. If one child fails then the teacher should view that as a personal failure, especially at the grade school levels. If my job were sorting apples and I kept letting apples that were rotten go to market I wouldn't have a job very long, and it should be the same for teachers if they have one child every year that is behind something needs to be looked at.

They need to take it more personal, and ask themselves "what can I do to make this child get it?" It could be as simple as making a curriculum change or moving the child to a different place in the classroom. I want a teacher to call me and say "I really think your child would do well if he/she were put in this program we have" or "Do you have a few minutes to come in so we can go over some of the stuff your child is having problems with and some way that you can help at home." It isn't that hard to pickup a telephone and reach me I am here all day and if I'm not my cell phone number is listed on all the boys' information sheets. I am at the school at least 3 times a week. I am very easy to reach, and I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to help my children. They are my life, and if I feel you are not doing your very best as their teacher I will call you on it. I will be in your face and I will be telling you how to improve in your job. Then we have to add in the administration.

If one child fails then one teacher has failed, and that means the administration is not doing their job well enough either. We need to climb the ladder and go right to the top and say "Hey mister super-intendent I am holding you accountable."

I get frustrated that I send my children off to school and I have to be there standing over shoulders making sure the job is being done. If I hired a plumber I would not expect to have to stand in the bathroom and tell them how to unclog the toilet, and I shouldn't have to do that with a teacher. I will be taking D out of school next year if he is not meeting benchmarks for the year. I will be teaching him at home where I know exactly what he is learning and what he isn't. I understand that not all children are the same. I have 2 others and one is pretty average when it comes to school and the other does very well, but it isn't these boys that worry me as much as the oldest. He just doesn't get reading and without reading he is doomed to fail in everything he ever does! I have experienced that he is among many children that are struggling reads, and I have spent many hours researching the things other schools are doing to help. I have been working on some different things that I hope to push the school into implementing and there are some things that I am going to be pushing we do away with. I don't get paid for this or credit for it in anyway. I am doing it to help these kids, because the system seems to be failing.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Keywords are fun!

I have a few minutes before I have to run off again, so I was looking at my stat counter, because the keyword searches amuse me (I'm easily amused!) and this one made me giggle: Things he does not want to hear in bed. I thought boy the things I could come up with for that. So go ahead play along at home...

Things he does not want to hear in bed.

"That was ok, but I've had better."
"I was faking it."
"OH BOB" when his name is Joe.
"You're not really very good at this is it your first time?"
"My old boyfriend was never that quick."

Have to run I'm job hunting. Actually the school has another opening I'm going to go put my name on the list... wish me luck.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Once upon a time

David made the travel team and now I have to take him to hockey practice at 6 in the morning ever friday! Oh the joy of being a mom to 2 boys who love hockey. I don't know how getting him up so early is going to work out, but I promised him I would take him as long as he got up and got ready without a lot of complaining, and he has to keep up in school or that will be the end of it. Cam is pissed off because he doesn't get to play travel with his brother, and I am already tired of being at the rink. The schedule changed so this year we will have practice monday, tuesday, wednesday, friday, and twice on sundays. I am thinking that the boys should have taken up knitting or something I could stay home to do. I am not ready for all that running around to start again. There really isn't anything else going on.

Thursday, September 28, 2006

I'm not Lisa my name is Julie

Keyword searches:
Why doesn't Jenn love me anymore. (I found someone better!)

Jenn left me how can I get her back. (You can't have me so get over it.)

How do I get Jenn to do me. (That's my little secret, only the very lucky ever figure that one out.)

Jenn oh Jenn please love me. (I do love you honey, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with you.)

My dog is abusive. (I just don't even have a response for that? How can a dog be abusive?)

and as usually 14 searches for Jenn Cam. She does have one, however it's not located here and I'm not her.

I often, ok every damn day really, turn the tv on to music choice and listen to classic country. Today a song came on that made me think of Jack and his views on Tim Mcgraw. I had to giggle.

Don't Call Him a Cowboy
Conway Twitty

So you came from New York city
and you want to see the sights
You've heard all about those cowboys
and those crazy Texas nights
I see you've got your eye on something
leaning on the bar
But the toughest ride he's ever had
was in his foreign car

So don't call him a cowboy
until you've seen him ride
Cause a Stetson hat and those fancy boots
don't tell ya what's inside no
and if he ain't good in the saddle
Lord you won't be satisfied
So don't call him a cowboy
until you've seen him ride
He's the Hollywood idea
of the wild andd wooly west
In his french designer blue jeans
and his custom tailored vest
You think he's the real thing
but I think you oughta know
He can't even make it through
a one night rodeo No

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Where ya goin'?

Yesterday I went to the humane society shelter with my baby and his class for their field trip. I love 5 and 6 year olds they are a great source of entertainment. This was the first bus trip for many of them and they were so excited about getting to ride the bus! Colton inturpted the quiet game to whisper "It's my mom's birthday", well the quiet game was over at that point as 16 little kids started yelling "Happy Birthday Colton's mom!" It was very cute. We got to go into the cat room and my allgeries are still crazy today! I found about 10 dogs that I wanted to bring home with me, but didn't, and we made it back to the school in one piece.

Last night we had D's travel team tryouts. I found out that they practices are at 6 in the morning on fridays at this time, but they are trying to change them to a different time. There is no possible way I can get 3 kids up and ready before 6 in the morning. We would have to leave the house by 5:15 in order to get to the rink on time, which put us getting up about a quarter to 4 in the morning. That isn't going to happen, even D said "I won't be going if it's that damn early!" Then I have to send these same sleep deprived children to school all day after that, and they would never make it through the day. On one hand I wouldn't mind if he didn't play travel, because it just means more time I have to be at the ice rink and on the other I know he would love to do it so I hope they get the time fixed.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


Well every year I have one and there is no stopping it unless I all of a sudden kick the bucket, and I would much rather have a birthday than not have one. So today I am 35, and the older I get the more I notice that today I don't feel any older or wiser, but as the year progresses I will develop another ache here another pain there and that is when I think getting old sucks! As I look back on it all I think that I am glad to be just where I am at though. I have 3 beautiful boys, a husband who loves me, and life is pretty good. So this year I have decided to not be so depressed about my birthday, to not think about all the things I have not accomplished and focus on all the things that I have done, and all the things that mean the most to me that I might not have if I had done things differently. Today won't be a day to sit around sulking about life passing me by, because it isn't really passing me by as long as I participate, and I have.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I'm to sexy!

It was last Tuesday, and the boys were getting ready for hockey. David was standing there in his underwear and a tee shirt when all of a sudden he breaks into "I'm to sexy for my shirt oh yeah to sexy." and starts swinging the shirt above his head, and shaking his butt. I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks. I have no idea where my oldest child learn the art of strip tease, if you could call it that he is as graceful as his mother, or why he decided to put on a show, but I know he is so modest that me and his brothers will be the only ones to ever witness his brazen display. He usually won't even dance with me if anyone else is over, we do that a lot turn on music and dance around the living room. David is easily embarrassed and dancing isn't cool. So to witness a moment of him being crazy was very funny.

Last night Colton was in bed and he wouldn't go to sleep. He kept talking and smacking his brothers, and he was just being a little shit. I told him to go sleep in my bed. He gets up walks into the hall and says to me "Listen here woman you don't even know who your messing with! Parents are weak!" Well I gave him my most stern look and told him he would find out who he was messing with if he didn't get in bed and go to sleep. He ran as fast as he could to my bed, and the minute he was out of sight I giggled.

Cam walked in from playing outside the other day and he looks at me and says "I don't even know why they make white crayons, paper is white duh!" he shrugged his shoulders and walked away again before I could even say a word about it.

I sent Colton and Cam to their room the other day because they were in trouble for fighting with each other and tattling to me. All of a sudden I hear "Let's get this party started" "Raise the roof Ohhh oohh" "Oh Yeah Oh Yeah". Then they both started singing at the top of their little lungs! Needless to say I walked in and told them to go play outside. I figure if they can get along that well being in trouble together they will be fine!

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Blog blank

I have been trying to make myself blog more, but by this point I think I have said just about everything I could say, or maybe not. Today I am drawing a blank as to what I can blog about.

I could tell you my feelings on the harsh treatment of terrorists by the CIA, and how I think there are a few Americans out there that have lost their freaking minds. These people want to see us dead and there are those worried about their rights, well they don't have any as far as I'm concerned.

or I could tell you that we have 2 nights of 3 on 3 hockey left and then only 2 weeks before the season starts again.

I thought about writing about that baby that got taken by force froms it's mother. Who does something like that?

I could discuss the French who don't think Iran is just as scary as Iraq.

Then there is my dog I could tell you how he is setting here next to me driving me nuts, because he wants some attention, and a 100 pound dog just doesn't fit in my lap very well which doesn't' make him very happy.

We could talk about insomina that has reared its head again in my life. I could tell you how I lay in bed for 3 hours hoping for sleep and just about the time I doze off the alarm seems to go off.

None of these topics seem to hold much interest for me, nothing lately seems to hold much interest for me. Steve said I have to much free time and I needed a job, but yet I can't think of even one day that was free time. I do laundry and dishes and feed kids. I drive kids to the places they need to be, and I fed dogs and guinea pigs. I vacuum floors and feed kids again when they get home. I really don't have as much free time as he would like to think I do. Well since I can't think of anything to talk about today I'm off to spend my free time doing more laundry.

Monday, September 18, 2006


The quiet surrounds me, a stillness I am not use to. It gives me an uneasy filling in the pit of my stomach. I turn on some music to drowned out the nothing, but it doesn't help much. I wonder what I am going to do when they are grown and leave the nest for good. I could go out and get away from my solitude, but that would require leaving the phone, and I don't really like to be away from the phone, even though I have a cell and they all know the number. They expect me to be here waiting for them to come home so I wait and pass the time cleaning house or some other mundane task made for killing time. The waiting drives me insane, waiting to hear the door open and little voices yell "MOM", and every time they leave me I am one step closer to crazy. It's like being stuck in a dark closet with no way out, you can hear the outside world, but you can't be a part of it because you are locked in. People tell me this isn't normal, and I say screw your normal they are my babies and my life. They are the very reason my world turns. They are the reason I wake up everyday and remember to breath. The simple things you take for granted wouldn't happen for me if they were not in my life. There would be no reason for me to exist without them. I miss my babies!

Winter is fast approaching here. We have not been over 60 degrees all weekend and the Mt. is covered in a layer of beautiful white. This morning Colton said to me "I'm a little chilly momma and it feel a lot better than being hot!" Yep he's definitely my kid.

Friday, September 15, 2006


I like to stay current and try out all the new and different things on this little box, so I have more Beta stuff on here than you can imagin. Yesterday my Yahoo asked me if I wanted to download the new version that is of course Beta. Well of course I did! I downloaded and it sent out requests to people who have been on my list for years, and to some people I have no clue who they are.

This morning for example some dude, that's on my list now, starts IMing me. I have no freaking clue who it is. I don't want to be rude so for the last few minutes I have engaged in polite conversation hoping that it will all come back to me and I will go oh that's so and so, but it hasn't yet. I don't know if he was someone that was actually on my list before or not, but I guess I will have to come right out and ask because I am very confused now, and bet he is thinking the same thing. I have like 7 people pending and I keep getting messages that people have added me that I don't even know?! I bet a lot of them are going "who's this jennschall chick?"

Guess that's why it's beta still, all the bugs are diffenently not worked out yet!

The nice thing is that I have actually IM'ed with some people who I hadn't in a long time.

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

"I'm getting the belt"

I should just quit reading the newspaper, because it makes me aware of just how backwards society is. It was this article that got my blood fired up tonight.

I don't know the whole story, because god forbide they tell the whole story in our newpaper, but apparently he spanked his own child with a belt and left marks on his rear end. It doesn't say how old the child is or what the child did. Now if it was something stupid like yelling at his sister, well then dad was out of line, but I can think of a dictionary full of reason that do justify a good spanking. There is a really thick line between beating a child and whipping their little butts, and if I saw someone beating their child I would be the first one stepping up to show them what a beating feels like. I got the belt as a child, but not many time, because I wasn't a stupid kid. I learned the first time that there were consequences for my actions. All we are teaching the kids today is "your parents have no say in your life if you want to rob the 7-11 go ahead we'll still hold your mom and dad responsible, but there are not consequences to you."

I have 3 boys, and it is my job as their mother to make them into upstanding memebers of our society. It is my job to teach them right from wrong, and lets face it not every child is the same. I can give Colton a time out or take away the TV for an afternoon and he gets it, he knows he screwed up. David and Cam on the other hand I've grounded them, spanked them, threatened to send them to military school, given them lectures, washed their mouth out with soap, you name it and I've tried it with them. You know what works the very best, yep spanking, and all I have to do is say "knock it off or I'll spank your butt" because they are not stupid kids either. They know when mom threatens to spank them if they keep it up I will whip their butts. I have not had to use a belt on them yet, because my hand across a check stings pretty good.

They are telling kids in school that if your parents hit you to call 911. David told me that the last time I threatened to give him a spanking. I told him I'll dial the damn number if that's the route he wanted to take, because welfare will come and take him away so fast he won't even get to tell me goodbye. He was shocked that someone would take him away from me. His actual words were "but your a good mom, and I love you. would they really take me to foster care because you spanked me?" We had a long talk about abuse then. I told him he should never let anyone hurt him, not even me. I explained the difference between spanking and beatings and told him if he ever really felt I had abused him that he probably should call 911, but if I swatted him on the butt because he said the "f" word maybe he better think twice about calling the cops. He understands that he is the one that will suffer, because he has a pretty good home, with parents who are doing their very best to raise him. He understands that he has love, food, clothes, shelter, and most anything he wants, but he also understands that there are consequences for the bad things he does. All children need disaplain, and everyday the government is taking away parental rights and decisions. Then when these very same children are caught stealing the very same government blames the parents. I guess from now on everytime I need to spank my children I'll just call up the law makers, judges, social services, and all the people ruining this country and let them decide how to handle it, and then in 10 years when they are sending them to the pen for the 3rd time they will have no one to blame but themselves, but alas they don't want that kind of responsibilty so it is left up to me. I am accountable for how my children behave, and I demand that they are polite, respectful, well behaved children. I expect a lot from them, and they seldom fail me. I expect them to know right from wrong and no that if they choose to do wrong they will have to face the music. Granted they are just kids and they are going to screw up, and I do have to choose the battles I fight with them, but there are those things that warrent a butt beating.

So now I have ranted and raved enough about that. Everyone go over and read Wendy girl's news it is pretty exciting!

Friday, September 08, 2006

I've been tagged!

I have not done a meme in so long I almost forgot what they were, but Angi tagged me for this one.

Word association

1. Flip- this is something the boys have learned at school, and not by the teacher oh no they learned this one from there friends. Used in a sentences by D when a car pulled out in front of use the other day. "Mom should I 'flip' him off."

2. Sand-what the boys and dogs keep tracking in the house from the back yard.

3. Vacuum- what I have not done in 2 days and desperately need to because of all the sand.

4. Southern-

5. Testosterone- way to much of it exists in my house! I should get a girl dog!

Angi only used one with with each of her answers, but I have to much to say I guess to limit myself to just one word! I don't think I have ever thought of just one word for another.

So Colton went for his well child check today... He is all good, but he had to have shots and that just sucks. I took him back to school, not my choice, and he ran off to his class like I didn't exist. I am fixing to go get him from school, because land before time is on and I don't want to watch it by myself. I miss him so much for the last 3 years it has been him and I and now I don't have that time with him. It really messes up my day. I was on the phone with mom a few minutes ago and she said "are you watching cartoons?" cause she could here them in the background. Our TV seldom leaves the cartoon channels even when no one is watching it cartoons are still on in the background.

Well I am off to find something to keep me busy for the next 3 and a half hours!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

School Sucks!

Well I didn't like school when I went and I diffenently don't like it now the boys go! I am so utterly alone all day it is driving me nuts. This morning I have already done 2 loads of laundry, cleaned the pig cage, gave the pigs a bath, they like to swim, and talked to my mom for an hour online! I still have 4 and a half hours before they get home.

Colton liked his first day of kindergarten, but he doesn't get to ask as many questions as he would like to and he doesn't get to tell as many stories either... That sucks for him, because he thinks he could teach the teacher a thing or two. He has an excellent teacher, Cam's teacher from last year and she knows him so she knows he will be much more difficult than his brother was, but he loves to learn and he is one of those kids who just gets it. He is not the shy quiet well behaved child my other 2 are. He isn't rude by any means he is just very open and has a lot to say, but he has manners.

Cam's first day being a 1st grader went well also. He really likes his teacher, and I like her too. She taught at science camp so Cam knew her, which I think helps if they know who they are going to be with all day. Cam is very quiet in class as well and she encourages him to be a part of everything. I like that about her, because Cam has a lot to contribute if you give him the chance.

David is another story. He likes his teacher, but school is just so much harder for him than it is for the other 2. He is already frustrated and just "wants to be like the normal kids." I told him he is a normal kid, but that doesn't help. He knows he struggles, and he wants to know why just as badly as I do. It breaks my heart sending him off to school, when I know he is going to come home so keyed up and anxious because he feel like he is less than the other kids. I wish I knew what to do for him. I have tried so many different things and nothing helps. He isn't dumb by any means, and he has more common sense than most grown ups I know. He just doesn't read fluently and with all the work they have done the last 2 years trying to improve that he has now gotten behind in other things. He is out of the classroom so much he misses the important stuff they do there, but he is still expected to know it.

I am thinking seriously about running for the school board next time around. I am also looking into better reading programs for the schools and I am going to start lobbying to get the improvements made in that area. I have looked into the reading recovery program they have, because I felt that it failed D miserably, and all the research I could find agrees with me that it is a temporary fix to the problems kids have with reading. I don't know what will come of any of it, but I'll at least keep trying.

There are 2 more weeks of 3 on 3 hockey, and then 2 weeks after that regular season starts. No one told me there would be so much running around when I had kids! It seems like we are always busy with something when school starts. Well I am going to go clean the bathroom this trying to stay busy while they are off at school is going to kill me!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Sadness and more sadness

Steve Irwin, the croc hunter, has been a part of our lives since David started watching TV. All 3 of the boys love him, and they want to be just like him when they grow up, especially Colton. He has had a great influence on Colton, who won't let you kill a spider when you could just take it outside and don't even meantion killing a snake. So today when we heard about his death we all kind of took it hard. It was like we had lost a family member or close person friend. I think a lot of people felt that way. Him and Terri were in our homes all the time. He took us on every journey with him, from the birth of his children to the lose of his dog and his mother, and everything in between. They openly shared their lives with us, and their passion to save animals. He taught us that snakes are not bad, and it's better to just move them out of the back yard and take them down to the river instead of killing them. He inspired awe in every kind of animal, and he could make you believe that crocs were "little beauties". He had such a love for all the creatures of this earth, and he was willing to share that with his viewers. As I sit here and watch the old reruns of croc hunter I think about Terri, Bindy Sue, and little Bob. I am sad for them. I am sad that Bindy won't have anymore adventures with her dad, you could tell by watching them together they were kindered spirts. I am sad for Bob because he doesn't get to know Steve, and I am sad for Terri. If there were 2 people in the public eye that truly loved each other it was Steve and Terri Irwin. I told my Steve tonight that I was glad she had such a great support system. My heart goes out to them.

We had our own tragic accident here on wednesday. I am still wondering how the heck it happened. I told the boys they had to clean the pig cage out, well I should have known something awful was going to happen, because they jump right up and started in. Well they put the piggies under the table, where they usually stay. So David is in the cage wiping it down and they are almost done, he has a few more spots to wipe up and then we can put everything back in. Well he jumpped out of the cage and at the very moment he jumpped down Fireball ran out, and before either one of them knew what happened Cam is screaming "He stepped on him, David stepped on him" David picked him up ran him over to me "He's bleeding mama he's bleeding" he says to me in tears. I took the little body and saw the blood on his hind leg. "Oh shit he broke off his foot!" was my first thought, but as I explored a little more there was just one little spot of blood. It was looking better until I turned him around and saw the blood pouring out of his nose and mouth. I knew there was nothing I could do. I hate that helpless feeling. I couldn't do anything for Fireball, and I couldn't do anything for David who I now notice is covered in blood all over his little arms and legs. David is freaking out and then I said "he's dead" and the tears started flowing. I sent David in to get cleaned up and placed Fireball in a shoebox. He was the most social guinea pig we have, and I think that is why he decided to come out, but the timing was just perfectly wrong. David got cleaned up, and we took him and buried him in the back yard. Then David hugged Cam and told him a million times how sorry he was, Fireball was Cam's pig, and they both cried. David wouldn't hurt anything for the world and this has been extreamly hard on him. You meantion the name Fireball and both the boys cry, thankfully Cam doesn't blame David he watched the whole thing happen and knew there was nothing that could be done. I wish that David didn't blame himself so much that is hard for me especially since I am the one that told them get those pigs off the couch! I blame myself!

Thursday, August 24, 2006



I am happy to say that they have the fire contained now.  There were 10 cabins destroyed, but no one was hurt thankfully!  The smoke is still thick here, and my allgeries are going nuts! 

Other things going on:


I applied for a job at the school, but they never called me back so I doubt I got that which sucks, but oh well.

The boys started 3 on 3 hockey, and that is twice a week so we have been doing that the last 2 weeks.  They are having a great time, but I forgot what it is like trying to get 2 kids dressed in all that gear!

Steve's hand is not healing like it should.  I don't know what they are going to do they may end up pinning the bones together if it doesn't start healing soon.  I'm sure that it would heal a lot better if he would leave the little splints on his fingers, but he is a man and you can't tell them anything.

Really that is about all that has been going on.  School starts the 5th so I have been going through clothes trying to find out who fits in what and am learning that none of my kids seem to be fitting in anything!  If they don't quit growing I am going to put bricks on their heads!  D man has grown about 3 inches in the last month and gained 8 pounds.  He is 4'9" and weights 77 pounds now! 

I am off to the laundry room again!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Casper Mountain has

Casper Mountain has always been a place of fun and good times for me. Ever since I was a child we have picnicked there, skied there, biked and hiked, and camped there. The view from my back deck is one of the best in the world. I can see the green pines in the summer and the snow capped whiteness in the winter and she is always beautiful. The last time I was there the boys and I went up for a picnic at the falls. We were lucky enough to be the only ones enjoying her beauty that day. We ate lunch and the boys played in garden creek, the same way I use to when I was their size. Then we hiked up to the water fall itself. We sat down and watched a rock chuck playing around and listened to the wind in the trees and the birds singing to each other.

I have many stored memories of times I have been up there. The times when we would sneak in after dark as teenagers just to go sit by the falls and drink beer oh yeah we did that a few times. The time my sister, our friend and I went up in the winter and Jo fell through the snow and we had to dig her out, because she was up to her neck and we laughed all the way home. The picnics at Beartrap with my parents when dad would get board and say "lets go for a drive" we always went on the same drive up over the mountain, stop for a picnic at Beartrap, and down the back side over to coal mountain road and home. I loved the times we went up so my boyfriend at the time and my sister could ride their mountain bikes, and I would take a book and sit and read in the quiet that only a mountain can offer for hours while they explored. There was the time that my sister came home for a visit and we took the boys up to the falls for an afternoon, and all the trips to gravity hill and how fun we thought it was that the car can actually roll up hill, and the times I taken the boys there and how they are just as amazed at I was when I was their age.

I will never forget the time mom, me, and Jo went to look at the deer, they gather at the base of the mountain, and that 4 point buck came to the window looking for a hand out. I didn't have anything to feed them, but he could smell something so he stuck his head in the car. I leaned back as far as I could, knowing that if I pissed him off he could seriously hurt me, his tick infested head stretched out and he took a piece of candy that was in the console of mom's car. He pulled his head back out the window and stood there eating his candy, while the three of us laughed and laughed. Silly damn deer didn't have a clue that was bad for him, but not one of us was willing to tell him any different. I can't count how many times I have taken the boys up to watch the deer; there is something magical about garden creek deer, but only while they are at garden creek. They are almost tame there, but they move away from that spot and they are as wild as any other deer.

I could go on and on with my memories of the times I have spent enjoy my beautiful mountain, and now watching her burn and not being able to do anything about it rips my heart out. I know that Mother Nature is at work and she knows what she is doing, but that doesn't make my heart ache any less.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Mother Natures unleashed her furry!

I went out on the back deck and watched as smoke plumed above the mountain. It started off as a small cloud, and quickly progressed to several large clouds of smoke. I looked on hoping it would be contained to the back side of the mountain. Thinking surly they will get it under contol, but knowing there was no way to contain the beast. I would come in the house and do a few things and then go back out and check on my beautiful mountain. As night approached you could see the orange glow of flames creating an errie light across the night sky, but so far so good not one flame leaped to the front, until about one this morning. I was standing out of the deck and the flashing light caught my eye, and I knew the fire had creasted the top of the mountian. I looked throught the binoculars and saw the flames licking the bottoms of trees, and my heart sank. I went to bed, only to wake up to the thick smell of smoke and burning pines. I went again to my back deck and watched as fire poured down the side of the mountain like hot lava, stopping every once in away to dance in the tops of trees. A sadness filled my heart. My beautiful mountain that holds so many joyous memories, the mountain that we all take for granted for so many years, the mountain that I love is burning down. My first thought was for all the critter living up there, and then all the people who have chosen to make their homes there. They have evacuated much of the area and are asking people less than a mile away from me to leave their homes. I know mother nature really knows what she is doing, and the burn will create new growth, but it's sad to watch her go up.

Friday, August 11, 2006


The guinea pigs are out of veggies. They are a real pain in the butt and require as much or more attention as the dogs do. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to let the boys have them. The boys have been pretty good about keeping up with their care though, so it's hard to complain about them to much.

Jake had a really sever hypo, low blood sugar, the other night. I was outside talking to my neighbor and Steve yelled from the window "Jakes having a heart attack." I knew what it was, and I ran as fast as a fat girl can run, grabbed the syurp and started dripping it onto his tongue. It took a couple minutes and he was sitting up shaking it off again. I was so glad we were home or we would have come home to a dead dog! I don't know why his sugar went so low. Him and I had been sitting on the couch together like we always do, and I got up to go see what the boys were doing. He was fine when I left him, he wasn't showing any signs of hypo at all. Usually he starts getting a little goofy and I know he is low and take care of it before it gets worse. This is the first time he has every gone so low it didn't even register on the blood meter. I had only been outside about 10 minutes. He is getting old now and it scares me, because I am not ready to lose another dog right now.

Today is the last day of science camp for the boys. They have had a really good time, even if they didn't like getting up early. I am starting to think that if school started at about 10 in the morning they would all do better. No one of them is what you would call a morning person, but then neither is their mother!

3 on 3 hockey starts the 15th and they are really looking forward to that, but I have to figure out how I am going to get them to hockey and Colton to soccer on the same nights at the same time. I have to help Cam get dressed and I have to tighten both their skates, but I can't just drop off a 5 year old and leave him at the soccer field. The boys alone on the ice wouldn't be so bad, because I know everyone at the ice rink and really there is no way for anyone to steal them off the ice, but the soccer fields are all open and anyone could come along and take chunk. The bad thing is soccer starts 15 minutes before hockey!

Friday, August 04, 2006

Candies dandy, but liquor's quicker!

I am sure that everyone has heard about Mel Gibson's drunken tirade by now. I laugh and shake my head, and thank the stars that my words don't mean anything to anyone other than me. I know that a lot of people would not like what I have to say if I were in the public eye, but that is beside the point. For those of you that don't pay attention Gibson got arrested on a DUI and started making anti jewish statements about the Jewish being responsible for all the wars in the world. He was drunk, and drunk people often say stupid things. To blame the Jews for all the wars in the world is just crazy and not a very well thought out statement, only an idiot or a drunk would make such a comment. I have seen Mel on several different talk shows promoting his movies and such and he has struck me as an intelligent person, a person that is smart enough to know that those kind of comments can ruin an acting career. I don't have an acting career, nor do I want one so I can say anything I want and it will not ruin me.

Let's turn his statement around just a little and say "Religion is responsible for most of the wars the world has seen." That would be a much truer statement in my view. I don't think one religion is anymore or less responsible for war, they have all had their fair share of starting wars in the name of their god or gods. Perhaps the wars didn't start as a religious war, but some smart person who knew people would fight for their religion turned it around to make them feel that is what they were fighting for. People like Hitler, who hated his father, a Jew, who abandoned him and his mother, turned that hatred around on all Jews. He was a master at making the people under his rule believe that the Jews were evil and making his followers believe that they were fighting more to preserve their own religious beliefs and ways of life. Bin Ladden works on the same principles he manipulates people into believing that they are killing the infidels in the name of religion. In both cases the people who are fighting and dyeing never really know the true reasons for their leaders hated of a certain race or country. They are blinded by their beliefs. People are like cows on a trail, one cow starts down the trail and other just seem to fall in behind them, not knowing where the leader is taking them or why and not smart enough on their own to question why they are walking away from the green grass towards a dirt field, and no matter how thirsty or hungry they get they still stay on the trail. So to say one specific religion is responsible for all the wars is ridicules, but who can really argue with the fact that religions have played a major part in many wars.

Now that I went off in a total different direction I shall get back to the topic at hand. The simple fact that we, as in the people of the world, put more stock in what some actor says than what our own children have to say to us is a sad truth. We have turned entertainers, actors, musicians, sports figures, into something they are not, they are worshiped like hero's. We follow their lives, and want to know everything about them, what they eat for breakfast, who they are sleeping with, what their kids look like. It is insane considering they are just people, they are no better or worse than any one of us average people, they just make more money. They were all born naked and will die one day just like the rest of us. The true hero's in our world are often overlooked, because we are to busy worrying about what Mel Gibson said or how much weight Oprah has lost or gained. I remember a few months ago when we were at the store and D man saw some of our national guardsmen, he says to me "Those guys are hero's mom!" I hope he always knows who the true hero's are and doesn't put to much faith in what some actor has to say. I guess that all ties into the religious views as well. I hope that they all grow up to use their own minds to know what is right and I hope they always question things, and choose to get off the trial if it is leading them in the wrong direction.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Nothing of importance

Over the past week we have been assulted by missionaries of every demonition trying to offer us a little salvation. I have politely told them I am not interested in what they have to say, and I'm not. If I want to talk religion there are several people I feel are more qualified on the subject than some stranger trying to convert me. Let's face it these people are not up for a debate on faith or my lack of it. They simply want to recute me into their folds, and honestly that is not going to happen. My own grandparents have not been able to make a believer out of me, so really some wacky people knocking at my door have little hope. Now I have nothing against religion. I think more people need the morals and values that religion teachs, but I don't think going door to door pedaling your views is the way to make it happen. I am a stong believer in my views are my own and yours are yours. I respect the fact that other people have different beliefs than I do, and I expect people to do the same.

I have been Colton's sole sorce of entertainment this past week. His brother's are at science camp. Colton was to young to go to the camp. Then after camp 3 on 3 hockey and Soccer for Colton starts. He was going to play hockey, but changed his mind, which is good really for me and cheaper too! I am not ready to start running here and there again and trying to be in more than one place at one time. I am not ready for summer to be over either and it is quickly winding to a close. I hate the boys having to be in school all day, and this year all 3 of them will be going all day long. I am going to find a part time job to keep myself busy or I will go insane.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The dog, the tooth, and other stuff

David turned 8 last Sat. It just doesn't seem like we have had him for 8 years already. Time just go by so fast the older I get. He had a great birthday, his granny came and took him to Red Lobster, his favorite place. Then he spend his birthday money that he got from Aunt Jo, Aunt P, and his great grandparents on a new pair of heely's shoes... he is like a little pro on them now. He got hockey gear that he needed and the star wars movies from us and granny got him new skates and hockey breezers. He finally lost his first tooth on tuesday.

It was lose and he kept nagging me to pull it, but he would chicken out the minute I got close enough to touch it. I was joking and I said well tie a string to it and Cam's bike and have Cam ride off really fast... they did and now he is minus one baby tooth.

Monday there was a dog wondering around the neighborhood. It was limping very badly and it got closer to D and I as we were standing in the yard. D all of a sudden says "What is that smell." and then it hit me. It was the smell of death, if you have ever been around something that is about to die or has just died you know that smell. It was awful and I knew he was in bad shape. He lives up the street and it was almost 5:30 so I am sure he was trying to make it home... I was very scared one of the kids was going to try to help it and end up getting bite. The nicest dogs in the world will often bite when they are scared and in a lot of pain, so I made all the kids in the neighborhood go to the back yard. When I went back out front to help him he was gone already. I hope he made it home and they took care of him.

Sunday we went to the air show it was part of D's birthday. We got to see the Thunderbirds, they put on an amazing show. D and Cam now want to join the air force and become pilots. I told them they better start getting the grades now! I wouldn't really mind if they went to the Air Force Academy it isn't that far away from me! Colton chated with everyone about everything. The Navy seals had a booth set up and they had their little dune buggy out.

Colton goes up to one of the kids and says "So how fast does it go?" "About 80 miles an hour." the kids replys. "Well how the hell does it fly?" Colton says. Which made perfect sense we were at an air show! Then we walked through the coast guards Hercules and Colton found the coast guard kids and says "So you know how to fly this baby?" "Yep I do" kid says. "Well let get her up in the air then" Colton says. There is never a dull moment when you take that one out in public!

Steve's fingers are doing much better, but if he doesn't get off light duty soon and start to do real work again he is going to drive me nuts. He isn't very good at doing nothing...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Wow an amazing thing!

I was clicking through my links this morning, and popped over to one I don't seem to get to as often I would like, This we will defend. Sgt. Hook is an awesome writer, and I was playing a little caught up on his posts, when I came across the link for 2996. This is an amazing effort that everyone should be promoting.

The idea is to get 2996 bloggers to post a tribute to a life lost on 911. So far he has 995, so there are still many names left. I am a little nervose about taking on such a great challenge. I don't know if I could do this project justice, but I am going to give it a shot. Please pass the word around even if you don't feel you can write a tribute at least pass the infor on to someone who might!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Take mine I'm not using them anymore!

If you have read for awhile then you know that I voted for Bush, and you also know why, but for anyone who just stumbled here accident's looking for naked jenn cam, which I seem to get a lot of hits from, I'll explain that decision. I would never vote for a traitor and I would not waste my vote so I was stuck voting for Bush. It was that simple really, but a lot more complex too.

I knew this 4 years would make me shake my head in disbelief, and make me wonder if maybe I should move to Canada. I knew that my life views were very different than the current administrations. For example I have no religious views. I think abortion is my choice not my governments or my neighbors choice in fact I don't even think it's anyone else's business.

So it's not really a big shocker that I support stem cell research. I think the possibilities could be great. I mean eventually they may figure out how to grow kidney's or hearts or liver and thousands of children on the transplant list facing death could go on to lead healthy, happy lives. Cures for cancer, MS, MD and millions of other things could be found. I wasn't really shocked that Bush vetoed the bill, but I was hopeful that he wouldn't. I would gladly donate my eggs for research, honestly I'm done with them. I don't really see it as a moral dilemma, maybe it's because I don't have any religious convictions, or perhaps I don't see embryo's in a Petri dish as babies, or maybe it's just the fact that I look at all the babies it could save and I think about my babies and if anything was wrong with them I would want every option under the sun explored in order to find a cure. I would give up my own life for theirs if that is what it took. I think it is my respect for life that really makes me in favor of stem cell research, and regret that as a nation we are stepping backwards.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Hotter than the core of the earth!

I am not one of those warm weather people. If I have the choice of fun in the sun or sitting under an air conditioner I will always choose the A/C. If I liked to be sweaty and sticky I'd excersize more, but I think it's pretty obivious that I don't enjoy being sweaty or sticky or excersizing for that matter. The last week has been miserable hot, the kind of hot that melts your brain just looking out the window. The downside to the hot is that this last week was fair and rodeo week. Well you know I love the rodeo, but I kept putting it off until last night, the last night. All week long it's been 100, 102 right in that range. Hopeful that it would cool off before long I waited and put it off, after promising the boys we would go. So there it was Sat. the final night and the tempture hovered around 112 degrees. I know that 12 degrees doesn't seem that much worse than 100, but it is. I have no other choice, I have promised these babies that I would take them. I try really hard never to break promises. Most of the time I tell them "we see" or "I'll do my best."

So we loaded them up and took them. Thankfully the fair buildings are all air conditioned. We wondered around in them until the rodeo started. Then we went over got some seats and proceeded to sweat until we all looked like we had been running through the sprinklers. I didn't see much of the rodeo between unsticking my clothes from my body, wiping my steamed up glasses off, and attempting to fan the air around me for some kind of cool breeze. I just kept thinking any time now this will be over! I made it though though and am alive today.

I am looking at moving somewhere cooler, like possibly sibera...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

My heart stopped!

"Is this Steve's wife?"
"Yes it is."
"This is Bob from husbands company. Have you talked to Steve this afternoon?"
My heart stopped, "No, I have not."
"Well there was an accident at work... He's ok, but he is in the ER in Thermopolis. He injuried his hand."

Sometimes I forget that I really do love him. Sometimes I forget just how good he is to me. Sometimes I forget just how much he loves our boys. A lot of times I get mad because he drinks to much, and a lot of times I get mad because he does stupid man things. However, at that moment when the guy called to tell me there had been an accident I could hardly breath. My mind raced with thoughts of Steve laying there fighting for his life, and I was 230 miles away. I joke with Steve all the time that his life insurance is doubled if it happens at work, but in the real world I don't want anything to happen to him. I really do want to grow old with him. There are times that I need some space away from him, and there are times that I get so mad at him I could beat him to death, but if anything is going to happen to him I want it to be by my own hands damn it!

I was very relived when he told me it was only his hand. Steve got his hand smashed under a motor that runs the pumps. They weigh about 1500 lbs. I figured that he was going to come home minus a finger or two, but he got really freaking lucky. He only broke 2 fingers, and they had to sew one back on. It hurts like hell, but he is going to be right back to work in a week, more than likely on light duty cause I don't know how he is going to do a whole lot without the 2 middle fingers on his right hand. Why is it alway the hand you use most? He is all splinted up and the ER Doc said it won't come off for at least 2 weeks, maybe longer. For now I am trying my best to take care of him, but he is a crappy patient! If he would just shut up and do what I say we would do alright, but no he thinks he is a grow up or something! It's much easier taking care of injured children at least they do what I tell them to.

Friday, July 07, 2006

A glimpse of life without kids.

There is an awful silence in my house. A silence that won't go away no matter how much how loudly I turn the sound on the TV up or crank the music. I feel lost and alone without the boys. They are the reason I breath everyday, and since they have been gone it had been horrible. I have seen the future and it isn't to pretty either.

The kids are gone and Steve and I are alone, and yet I am feeling more empty then when he is off on a job. He mowed the yard and I cooked dinner. I ate dinner and he fixed the sprinkler head that was bad. I watched TV he sat outside on the back deck. He came in and ate dinner and watched Monk with me. He went to bed, and I am watching Psych. This is how it will be when our kids get older and move out on their own. We just seem to have less and less in common everyday. The boys are what binds us together and without them we are nothing, we have nothing. Maybe it is just because I miss the kids and I feel lost without them. I don't really know how to be without them. For the last 8 years that what I have done, cattier to my children. I don't do anything without them, and now I feel like just sitting in the house waiting for them to call me. Longing to here their little voices say they love me, now don't get me wrong I love the fact that they want to spend time with my mom and dad and vice versa. They all love each other a great deal, and I know they are being well taken care of. There isn't anyone in the world I would let them go with other than my mom and dad.

So anyway mom and dad are bringing the boys home Sunday and we are all going to go boating at the lake. Then David wants to go back to their house, but he may change his mind once I tell him we are going to the rodeo Tuesday night. Yes it is once again fair and rodeo season here. The boys all love going to watch the rodeo especially the bull riding. David is determined that in the winter he will be a pro hockey player and in the summer he will be a pro bull rider. I am determined that he will never get that close to a bull. I've been to enough rodeos in my day to know that it is way to dangerous for one of my boys. I don't care if it's calf roping or bull riding I really hope they outgrow their cowboy dreams.

Tomorrow is Steve's 43rd birthday, damn he is getting old. He will be 56 when Colton graduates from high school. I will only be 47, that is young enough to play with any grandbabies I might get. Steve will be to old to enjoy any grandkids!

Well that is my pathetic life in a nutshell.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


Well last night we loaded up the family and went and listened to the bands at the event center and got a good spot to watch the fireworks. The only band we heard was not that good... perhaps it's just that I am not into the kind of music they were playing or maybe it was because every song the sang sounded like they ripped the music off from Jimi Hendrix songs and just changed the lyrics. Colton entertained the crowds with his awesome dance moves, he looked just like he was in the middle of the mosh pit doing his thing. He cracks me up that kid. We were sitting by some bushes and a tiny baby rabbit decided that we were pretty safe and he came out and nibbled some grass just inches away from us. It was all the boys could do to hold themselves back. Colton says "I just want to love it up."

After about 3 Hendrix songs with different lyrics we had had enough, so we start making our way back to the truck. It's getting dark and the parking lot was very busy so I said "give me your hand so I know where your at." more to Colton than the other 2. David looks and me and says "I'd rather step in horse shit than hold your hand!" It was on. I grabbed him up and started kissing his cheeks and telling him that I loved him. He ran all the back to the truck. A little while later he asked me if he hurt my feelings and of course I played it up and said yes. He jumped into my lap and said he was just kidding.

The boys are all off to spend some time with their grandparents tomorrow.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Kids are funny

The other day I was sitting in the living room flicking channels when Colton and his little girlfriend from up the street, who's also 5, came in. They stopped and talked to me for a minute, and as they were getting ready to leave she looked at the TV. I don't know what the show even was I stopped mid click when they came in to talk to them, but there was this teenage couple and he leaned in and kissed the girl.

"OH GROSS" little girl up the street says.

I am thinking she is grossed out because they are kissing and then...

"He has glasses! She kissed a boy with glasses."

I am not to sure I want Colton to be playing with her anymore!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I want to live!

That is the sickest I have ever been in my entire life! I went back to the dr. today and he said I need another round of antibodies, but I am on the mend. He had all the paperwork ready to admit me to the hospital today to take my tonsils out when I went in, but they are returning to there normal size now. My white cell count was still much higher than normal, but it has come down a lot. Thankfully I am not going to die, however last week I really didn't care if I lived or not. I just had a really bad strep infection that went into all the glands.

My granny is feeling much better, and they are getting her all fixed and better for the time being. It will be just a wait and see game, but she is getting up on her own now and walking. The confussion isn't happening as much now either. I am so thankful and hope that everything they are doing for her will fix her up.

The boys are already board and we are not even into summer break yet. I don't know what I will do with them all summer.

Steve goes back to work tomorrow, some vacation he had.

The dogs both still need a bath, they are filthy from camping.

Being sick really sucks!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

I'm stable

I don't think I have ever been as sick as I have this week in my entire life. I am able to sit here now without falling out of the chair. Yesterday I couldn't even do that. So after 3 trips to the dr. and 3 different antibodies we finally got some that work! But wait lets go back to the beginning. Steve is on vacation this week, which was actually a good thing for the boys, so monday we are all packed up and ready for a camping trip. We go up the mountain set up camp, and have a lovely evening of roasting marshmallows and making smores. Finally we get 5 people and 2 big dogs settle into a tent that is barely big enough for just the 5 people and I lay there wishing I hadn't closed up the windows because it is sauna hot in there. I drifted off several time only to be awakened again but the shifting of a dog either across my leg or the one fighting for more matteress, then finally blessed sunrise! There is nothing like sunrise when your camping, because really you can't get up before the sun... you can see shit anyway. I got up a little sore and a whole lot stiff, and both dogs followed me out of that little sauna. Poor little Jakie dog was so stoved up he could hardly move. So I made my coffee as every made their way out of the tent. I told Steve that Jake needed to go home, because really I could have made it another night..., but thankfully Jake couldn't. I wouldn't know what a right choice that was until I got home. Steve and the boys all agreed that camping one night was all they wanted to do as well! We loaded up and came home. David drove for about 3 miles and he did a great job! I had been promising him I would take him out and work on his driving for the last 3 months. So anyway the boys stop to go shoot their guns, and I just decide to come home, because Buddy dogs would have pissed all over himself if he has seen the guns.

So I get home take my shower check myself for ticks, and start unloading the van. By the time the boys get home, which was a little over an hours later, I am feeling over tired and everything hurts. I am tough though so I make dinner eat about a fourth of mine and tell Steve I think I am getting sick, because by now I have a sore throat and am running a fever. Well as the night progressed my 2 already large tonsils merged into on huge tonsil making it impossible for me to breath or swallow or talk. I then went to bed and slept from 8 o'clock until the next morning at like 11. Steve had gotten me a dr. appointment and I went I don't remember much of the rest of the week really. I laid in bed for most of it. All I know is that friday Steve woke me up and said he was taking me back to the dr. Which was fine with me especially if they planed on giving me a leathial injection. So that is where I left you yesterday with the whole mono thing. About 15 minutes after I wrote that the dr. called back and said my mono test was negitive, but they did a CBC and it was off the charts so I needed to take these pills and the prednisone he had already given me. Steve went to pick up the pills later and they thought he was going to have to drive to my moms house to have it filled. No one in town had them except walmart thankfully, but the guy at walgreens called everyone on the list and my dr. twice to make sure it was this pill I had to have. So anyway I am on my way to recovery now. I am like a normal really sick person today. I have the sore throat, but I can breath and swallow, the achy body, the fever, and just plan ass tiredness. The only good thing to come of this was between wed. and friday I lost 8 lbs... I am sure it's up to about 12 now as I have only eatten about half a cup of soup. I go back to the dr. on tuesday to retest my blood and check me over. Wow that took forever to write. I am going back to lay down now. Goodnight.

Friday, June 16, 2006


I'm sick sick sick... can everyone say MONO... this is twice now and I guess you can keep getting it. I'm back in bed I feel like shit.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Things are looking up

My granny has been really sick for a while now, and they don't really know what is wrong. Right now they are treating her for spurs in her neck at the c4 and c5 levels. They think that is the cause of the pain, weakness and confusion she has been experiencing. They have been through a range of different things it could possibly be the worse being lewys body a rapid advancing form of alzhimers. So far the treatment for her neck seems to be working. Hopefully things will keep improving. I am very close with my granny she has been a very important part of my life. I don't know what we would all do without her in our lives. I know that she won't live forever and I know that a lot of people in their 30's don't have grandparents still around so I have been very blessed to have mine as long as I have, but that doesn't mean I want to let her go anytime soon. We are just taking it one day at a time that is all we can do. Thanks for all the kind comments and the wonderful emails you guys, you know who you are, are the best and I love you!

Thursday, June 08, 2006


I am frustrated and pissed off and heartbroken and life is so unfair on all fronts. I am pissed off because I married someone so selfish and uncaring and hurtful. I am frustrated because doctors have no answers and no cures. I am heartbroken because there is nothing I can do to help. There is never enough time with the ones you love and it isn't fair and I don't know if I should go or stay home and wait for news. I don't want to add unnecessary stress by going. I regret not having a big fight with Steve at Christmas when I wanted to go and chose to shut up and avoid a fight. I reget that I turned off my aol and yahoo messager when Steve was home to avoid a fight about how much time I spend online. I hate that I didn't go up there more. I hate that I am not close enough to be there everyday. I wish I could have 10 more years, just 10 that isn't very long 10 years is so short please just 10 more good years with her.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Lazy summer days

There are only 3 hours of school left for the boys. I am so excited for the summer to be here. I miss them when they are at school all day. Cam missed friday because he was sick with the same crap David had, but we got him on antibodic and he is feeling much better today.

David and I sat down and had a really long talk about him staying in second grade next year. I was very impressed by him. He talked to me like he was a lot older than 7. I asked him what he thought about the whole idea. He could have moved on to 3rd grade, but I worry so much about him getting farther behind the older he gets. He told me that he wants to go to college and he doesn't want to end up working at McDonalds because he couldn't make it through school. He is very aware of how much he struggles, and very aware that if he wants to do something with his life he has to go to college. I told him that staying in 2nd grade again would be an oppurtunity for him to get ahead, he could use it to master the skills he is struggling with. We talked about it for about 2 hours or more. We talked about his friends moving on and how that kind of hurt his feeling, and he wondered if they would make fun of him. I told him that they might kids are mean like that, and he said they sometimes make fun of him because he has such a hard time reading. I didn't know that, because he never told me. We finished our talk and I told him to think about it and a few hours later he came and said he wanted to stay in 2nd grade. The funny thing about it was that he was so relaxed about the idea, like a weight had been lifed from him. I think it is very important for him to make these decisions on his own. I lay them out on the table and I guide him, but in the end the decision should be his. So he is all set to go back into the same class he was in this year. I am so happy with his decision, and I feel better that I didn't make it for him. I requested the same teachers he had this year, because they were very good. Not one time did I feel uninformed at what was going on with him. They called me, they made time for me anytime I went in and it was just really good to have them.

Cameron is going to first grade and I would like to keep him in Kindergarten, not because he is struggling with anything, just because I am not ready for him to grow up yet! Cam is doing well he left kindergarten reading at level 6, and knows everything he needs to know to go on to first grade. Colton is moving up to kindergarten. Colton is ready to move on. He talked to the kindergarten teacher on friday when we went in and he was very excited and told her that she would have to teach him next year and he was ready to learn.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

fun and sun

I staggered out of bed to find all of the boys up watching TV, and I look at the clock, because the alarm had not gone off yet. I questioned why I was even out of bed until I saw the numbers staring back at me 8:45. What the hell! The boys had track day and we had 5 minutes to get me and 3 boys ready to roll. I ran to the bedroom started grabbing clothes not caring if they even fit much less matched, I threw them at the boys, wet my hair down brushed my teeth yelled at the boys to get their shoes on, and threw water bottles into the cooler. We ran out the door and halled ass to the school.

David's class was just loading on the buses so I told him to run and catch them, and I told Cam to stay in the van with Colton. I ran to the office told them David was on the bus and I would take Cam with me and meet his class at the high school where we always have our track day. I got back in the van and speed to the mini mart grabbed some sandwiches, because I was suppose to make us all lunches and didn't have time. We sped out of the parking lot and raced to the field. I was thinking we were going to be very late, and we pulled up right behind the buses the kids hadn't even unloaded yet. Damn I'm good!

We had a great track day, and we should have taken first in who can get a family of 4 ready in less than 5 minutes!

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

The joy's of parenthood

There are positive and negative things about having a husband who works out of town a lot. The best thing about it is we tend to appreciate the time we do see each other more. We as in the entire family. The boys don't take Steve for granted nearly as much as they do me, but I understand that. I am the constant in their lives. That would be where the negative starts. I am feeling a great deal of pressure to be all things to these boys, and there is one of me and 3 of them. With Steve being gone so much I am like a single mother a lot of the time.

Today for instance David is very sick, we have a Dr. appt at 1:15, and I am pretty sure he has scarlet fever. For anyone who doesn't know that is just strep with a rash. When D man gets sick he runs a really high fever that is hard to break, so there was no way I could send him to school. Well today is the day Cam's class gets to go to old town, which is a putt putt golf video game kind of place. Their class won the trip for collecting the most box tops for education, and I told him a long time ago that I would go with him.

Well I don't get to go with my Cambot, because D man is sick. Cam was very understanding, but as I watched him walk across the school yard I could see how sad he was and it broke my heart. He turned and waved and gave me a big smile, but his steps were slow and he hung his head as he walked off. It breaks my heart that I can't be in more than one place, and I know that if Steve had a job that didn't require him to be gone he could have stayed home with David for part of the day so I could fulfill my promise to Cam.

I know that Cam won't hold it against me, but that doesn't help the guilt I feel. I would be feeling the same guilt however if Steve was home and I did go with Cam and left a sick baby at home. Tomorrow is track day, and I hope that the antibodies kick in and David is feeling good enough to go.

Monday, May 29, 2006

Memorial Day

We were shopping yesterday and as usual on the weekend before Memorial day the Vet's were out distrubing those paper poppy flowers. The boys wanted to know what they meant. I had heard the history of the poppy before, but it slipped my memory at the time. I told them I couldn't really remember what the poppies stood for, but when we got home I would look it up for them and here is the link that best described it.

In Flanders FieldsJohn McCrae, 1915.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead.
Short days agoWe lived,
felt dawn,
saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved,
and now we lieIn Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,
though poppies growIn Flanders fields.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

The Joy Never Ends

Steve and I had our anniversary on Monday. He was out of town working, and I was here with the boys. To me our anniversary is nothing special, it's just another day. I was amazed that we have been married for 8 years. I never thought I would get married, much less be married for this long, but that was about all I thought about it. We really don't celebrate the day we got married; there isn't really any sense in it. We got married because I was 7 months pregnant, and everyone thought we should get married. I would have been perfectly fine just living together, and I really don't know what made me go through with it. I didn't want my child to go through life without a family that had a lot to do with it. I really can't say love played a big part in my decision to get married. I mean we had been together for a year can you really love someone after that short of time, well maybe some people can, but I don't think so honestly.

My sister today told me she was kind of sad because I didn't even invite her or tell her I was getting married. I think she was a little shocked when I told here that I didn't invite anyone. I didn't, we had a justice of the peace wedding, and my parents didn't even get invited. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Steve on the other hand invited the freaking world and I was a little upset by that. We had agreed it would be simple and quiet and the next thing I know his mom was planning a reception for us and half the town was showing up for our vows. I would have been perfectly fine going to the court house saying I do and coming home without anyone knowing about it until after the fact. I know that we wouldn't have gotten married if I hadn't been pregnant, or at least I wouldn't have. Steve says he got married because he loved me, and maybe that's true and maybe it's not. The whys and how of the situation really don't matter.

The things that matter are after the fact. We did get married, we did have 3 kids together, and we do have to try every day to make this marriage work, and marriage is a lot of work. I think too many people go into a marriage thinking that it will always be as easy as those first few years or months in some cases. You know, the sex is awesome; you get along great, you over look each other faults. Then one day you take a real look at the person you have vowed to spend the rest of your life with and you think "OH SHIT". It's a struggle to not kill Steve some days, and I am sure he feels the same way about me. I have learned that I have to choose the battles we have with care, because the little stuff is what will ruin our marriage. The way I look at it is we have to stay married, and we have to get along until these boys are grown and leave the nest. It is my responsibility to my children to provide them with the best home life possible, and that includes their father.

I am not saying that I am miserable living with Steve. Sure we have our differences anyone who tells you they get along all the time will tell you other lies as well, but for the most part we get along. I love him and he loves me, we tolerate each others faults now instead of over looking them. We have had to learn how to do that. We ignore the small things that piss us off now instead of fighting about them. We work out the big stuff that does matter, and mostly he lets me be in charge. I think if we have to start celebrating the fact that we made it another year is when we are doomed to fail. "Hey honey I actually didn't pack up my stuff and leave you this year..." So yeah our anniversary is just another day to me.

Things I've learned to make a marriage work:

  1. Nod your head and smile like your listening when he is talking, even if you don't have a clue what he just said.

  2. Tell him you love him a lot. Men like to feel loved.

  3. Walk away when you want to hit him in the head with a shoe. It won't make you feel as good as hitting him in the head with a shoe, but he won't get all pissed off.

  4. Don't say "I'll just take the kids and leave then." For some reason Steve still holds that one against me.

  5. Sex Toys. If I have to explain that one you have not been married long enough.

  6. Pretend he is right every once in awhile, but make sure you let the kids know later that you were just pretending.

  7. Go to bed mad, if you don't no one will get any sleep at all, and it's to damn hard to fight when your lacking sleep!

  8. Let him pout and don't worry about it, he'll either get over it or he won't and that is all on him.

  9. Use your children as a go between. "David, go in there and tell your father..." It will save you from telling him what you really are thinking about that stupid idea he had.

  10. Hold grudges. If you don't then you will have to spend a lot more time going to family functions. "Yeah you remember when you threw the Christmas tree down the stairs… We are not going anywhere this Christmas if anyone wants to see us they can come here."