Friday, April 30, 2004

The house guest.

It was a warm spring night. I had left the door open so the dogs could come back in when they where done with there business. That is when we got the visitor, he came walking in the door like he own the place, I caught a glimpse of him from the corner of my eye, just enough to startle me. I ran to the kitchen and threw the fridge into the middle of the floor. Steve somewhat bewildered at my actions came running in. "What are you doing, oh shit there it goes." It ran across the floor under the table, and behind the microwave stand. "I'll be back" my brave hero told me. I stood there keeping the intruder at bay waiting for his return. Finally he appears, with a Dasiy Red Rider in hand. Now if you don't know by now our intruder was a mouse, what my husband had in mind was beyond me. I don't think it is humanly possible to cock a BB gun as fast as these little rodents can run, so maybe he is going to beat it to death with the stock of the gun? It ran out from behind the microwave stand as I moved it out and that was the last I saw of it, but he'll be back, they always come back, and Steve will be ready.

Again with the Wal-Mart

I seem to spend all my time at walmart, what can I say I am cheap. The other day my mom came to town, and my baby loves his granny. He would move in with her if we would let him. So as it always is when mom comes to town he was her shadow. Mom had a little shopping to do, so we go to walmart. The baby had to ride in "dranny's bastet" or granny's basket as we adults would call it. We shopped and visited through the store, and the baby told granny many wonderful stories, and then he tells her, "you have elbows dranny." Not thinking anything about it she says "yes I have elbows honey." Then he reaches up and pinches her boobie and says "you have elbows." We all about feel in the floor laughing, and I am sure mom really appreciates me sharing this story with you all, but it was funny.

Thursday, April 29, 2004

Need a good laugh.

I am still laughing. This is way to funny. I got that link from Martine's site and it was one of the funniest things I have read in a long time, and I read Monkey's page everyday.

Lazy days indeed.

The cold seems to make things move slower, and there is a stillness in the air. I am moving just as slow as everything else today, and this weather has made my mood just as frigid. I like snow, in the winter where it belongs. We have had just enough spring to tease us, and the boys have been able to play outside, but now they are house bound again. It hasn't got over 30 degrees here all day, and it looks like it may snow some more. So all of you in the warm parts of the world think of me huddled under blankets wishing for some sunshine, as I dream about warmer days.

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

I'm dreaming of a white christmas.

Yes it is snowing here, and I think I am going to go visit Yoli, now she has her water back on. We have about 2 inches of fresh powder, and the ski hill closed last month.

The case of the missing shoe.

It was a cloudy morning, the kind that makes you want to stay in bed, and we did much longer then we should have. Everyone was fed and dressed, and getting their shoes on when I heard the voice.
"mom I can't find my shoe"
"Where did you take it off?'
"I don't know"
So we searched in the usual places, but the shoe was not there. We were going to be late, but how could we go with only one shoe. Then he tells me,
"It is over the fence." after we have spend 15 minutes looking for it.
"Over the fence, how in the world did it get over the fence?"
"I don't know."
"Did you throw it over the fence?"
"NO, it must be magic."
The shoe was found, but the mystery of how the shoe got over the fence will have to be filed under unsolved.

I will tell you a wonderful story completely made up by my 3 year old.
One day a ghost came and booed at you. BOO.

He makes up stories all the time, but that is one of my favorites. He is a funny child. He loves snakes, has no fear of them at all. We were watching sci-fi channel one day, and it had a giant snake movie on. Out of the blue he goes "Oh look it is Alice, oh she's hungry she ate that man" The towns people started shooting at it and he was very upset he kept saying "Poor Alice, Poor Alice." Then he was sad because they killed Alice in the end, after she had eaten half the town. Now he wants a pet snake, I don't think I want a pet snake, though, he may get mad at me and try to feed me to it.

Tuesday, April 27, 2004

Door to Door Religion.

You know I don't have anything against religion, I think it is great you believe whatever it is you believe. Everyone needs something to believe in. I don't have a problem debating religion with you, if the subject comes up. I do have a problem with uninvited people showing up at my door to sell me their versions of God. You would think the sign on the door that says "no religious soliciting" would stop them, but it doesn't. They knock and pretend they didn't see the it. Usually I am nice, and just tell them I am not interested, or I have my own religion thank you. Today was the third time this month they have come to my door, the same 2 women, and I was not so nice. I told them would never dream of invading their privacy to get them to buy into Darwins theory of evolution, which has facts to back it up. They tried to argue the point, and I told them that if they didn't stop coming to my house, I was going to slap a lawsuit on them for harassment. They said that I couldn't do that so I told them we would get the law out here right now and see if my little sign would hold up in a court of law. They left in a huff, so I will probably be plagued with bible thumpers now. I may have to study up on the most unheard of religion and when they come back start ranting about how they are all going to hell, because they don't believe in Mr. Clean, the creator of shiny floors. Oh they irritate me.

I need a bigger bed.

When I had my first child I never wanted to let go of him. I would take him to bed with me, and then when Steve came to bed he would move him over to his crib. We had our second child and the oldest gave up his crib, and moved to a kid bed, but still spent most of the night in our bed. He finally started sleeping in a bed with his little brother when we had our third son, and didn't sneak into our bed in the middle of the night very much. Now he is on the top bunk, and sneaks down to the big bottom bunk to sleep with his brothers. When he does this there is just not enough room in the bed for all three of them, so one of them, usually the baby, comes and gets into bed with us. Well last night was one of those nights. I usually just scoot over and cover them up and go back to sleep, that is what I attempted to do last night. I was almost asleep and he kept getting closer and I tried to move him back to the middle, but there was someone else in the way I opened my eyes and there they were the baby and the middle boy. There was no where for me to go, so I got up and got in their bed, was almost asleep, when they both wandered in so I put them in the bed and got them comfortable, and went back to my bed. I thought good now they are settled, and I can get some sleep. Boy was I wrong not 15 minutes went by and the first one waddled in. I hoped that the other one would stay put, but that was just wishful thinking on my part, in he came and I covered him up. By that time I just decided to stay put, or we were just going to play musical beds all night. So there we are four of us, in my queen sized bed. I was so thankful when the alarm went off and Steve got up, then I could have a little room, and get my 30 minutes of sleep before I had to get up. I never really did go back to sleep, I keep looking at the clock thinking it wouldn't wake me up, because I was so tired, so I just got up. I went to check on the oldest one, and he was not in bed anymore. I panicked, and couldn't find him anywhere, so I went back to my room thinking maybe I had just overlooked him, and there he was tucked in the corner on the floor by my bed. I am thinking that if we just get wall to wall mattress then everyone will be happy. The dogs and the kids can all be right there with me, and maybe I will get some sleep.

Monday, April 26, 2004

Some days!

"mom he hurt me."
"No I didn't"
"Did too"
"Did not"
"Knock it off before you both go to your room"
Whine, whine, complain and whine some more.
Some days I don't know what I was thinking when I had children. This is how the whole day has been. He took that away from me, and He is touching my stuff. I think I may bind and gag them and stuff them in a closet for awhile, at least until I have had enough quiet time to regain my composure. I tend to let them bring me to their level, and end up just fighting with them too.


I just went to stop yet another fight, and the baby is running around outside as naked as a jay bird, and he has colored himself from head to toe in different colored markers. I need a vacation, or at least another cigarette, and I was going to quit today.

Sunday, April 25, 2004

Just my view of the day.

I have been reading Randy's blog, and so many times the men and women, who fight for our freedom go unnoticed. Sure their family, friends, and neighbors know what they are doing, but the average Joe, just takes it for granted that these people have left everything they know to go to a foreign country and protect our freedom. They are normally kids, who are not even old enough to buy a beer here. They have wives and kids, and a life, but they choose, for whatever reasons, to join up knowing something might come up, and they might not come home. I think these are some of the bravest, most heroic people on our planet, and I just want to thank them for everything they do for me and my family.

Got this from Ren and Angie's blogs, so I jump on the bandwagon.

What Video Game Character Are You? I am a Breakout Bat.I am a Breakout Bat.

I am an abstract sort of creature, who dislikes any sort of restraint. If you try to pigeonhole me, I'll break the box, and come back for more. I don't have any particular ambitions, I just drift, but I am adept at keeping life going along. What Video Game Character Are You?

Saturday, April 24, 2004

Labor pains.

I was laying in a hospital with a tube hooked to my arm, and wonder if this was even going to work. I was having my labor induced, because my baby was late, and three years later he is still making us late. It is hard to believe that the baby is not really a baby anymore. I am not big on birthday parties, especially when they are so little. I started a tradition of taking the kids to the store on their birthdays and letting them pick out anything they want instead of going and struggling through the endless toys that all look the same to me anyway, trying to pick just the right thing. They love it we spend about an hour going through the toys until they get just what they want. Then we go and pick out a cake, and they get to pick that too. They all think it is great, and look forward to their turn to pick their toy and cake. They get enough wrapped up junk from the relatives anyway, so they should have something really special from mom and dad. It always ends up that what they got from us was their favorite gift that way too. Well we spent the birthday picking through the toys, and got the cake and went to the park and met up with Steves family. Now I have over sugared kids with all these noise making toys, and it makes me with Steves brother and sister had small children so I could pay them back in kind. We had a great day though, I can't believe it has already been three years, and I didn't think I would make it this long as a mom. Hope you all had a great day as well.

Friday, April 23, 2004

One time at band camp,

Well I really didn't go to band camp, but I played the clarinet, until I figured out that it really didn't fit with the badass leather jacket, hoodlum image I was trying to portray, that was after the pig tails of childhood. When I was growing up my best friend was Todd. He lived down the street from me, and we did everything together. We especially like to go out and catch horny toads, and keep them in my bedroom, until my mom found them and made us take them back outside. We would name them and feed them and keep them safe from all harm. Little did we know we were their biggest harm. Todd and I often sat the tent up in his front yard, and had sleep outs, until one time he burned his eye on the lamp he had hooked up to about 3 extension cords coming out of his bedroom window. Todd was scared of the dark, and I can say I wasn't extremely excited about the prospect of something snatching me either. It was at that point our sleep outs moved into the house where we could be supervised so we wouldn't "burn down the whole neighborhood". I moved away and never saw him again. Todd and I had all kinds of great adventures, and I often wonder what happened to him. Funny how we let the things that were so important slip away. I thought about this today, because my boys are the only boys in the neighborhood, and there are 5 girls all 4 and 5 years old right around us. I doubt in today's world that if one of my boys had best friend that was a girl they would get to do all the fun stuff me and Todd did.

I like pre school.

Steve got home and he took this morning off, so I could go spend the morning at pre school with our middle son. Pre-school, that name is a little confusing as it takes place in a school, and they are learning pretty much the same things the kindergarten class is learning. Kids are pretty interesting people, they have a whole different view on life then us adults. They just welcome you into their world like you are their big, and if you just get on their level you will learn a lot. I learned that girls fart all the time, this was from a group of 3 boys who all have sisters, so they know. I learned that their are a lot of people named mom, and there were only 2 kids that have a mom named something other than mom. I learned that cooties are still running ramped in the schools, and I had thought someone would have found a cure for them by now. I learned that school pizza is not real pizza, and you should bring you own lunch when they are serving that. Oh yeah, we also colored and painted and stuff.

Thursday, April 22, 2004

Failure is not an option.

Some days life really just drags a person down into a dark swirling hole, and it is hard to get back to the surface for air. My oldest is really struggling with reading and writing. He is only 5, and they expect them to know all the stuff I didn't have to know until 2 grade. I wrote my name backwards until 2nd grade, and I still can't spell and I have been to college. It is frustrating for a mother to watch her child struggle so much. I want to be able to just do it for him to make his life easier, but in the end that would only make the problems worse for him. I want to protect them from the world, I want to make all their dreams come true, but I can't, and that makes me crazy. I just don't know how to help him. We practice all the time, and he wants to get it, but in the end we both end up on the verge of tears. I fear he will end up hating school at a young age, and never go to college. I fear he will end up like his mother, wondering what could of been if I just would have done things differently. I have been to college 3 different times, and have yet to finishes, because I lack the ability to follow through on anything. I don't want that for my boys. I don't want them to do just enough to get by and never strive to be more. I think this is the hardest part of being a mom, dealing with the fact that they are not going to achieve all of their goals. We just want everything for our children, and there are always so many things getting in the way.

Wednesday, April 21, 2004


I am struggling to clean house, at neck break speed. Steve will be home tomorrow. He has been gone for 8 days, and I will admit I like it when he is gone. It is just one more person around here fighting for my attention, I know that is awful. I love him really I do, but things are easier when he is gone. The kids get to bed on time, and we are not waiting for the bathroom in the mornings, I don't have to cook if I don't want to, and my oldest isn't so hateful to everyone. When he is here I feel like there is always a struggle that I am caught in the middle of, the kids pulling me one way and him pulling me the other. They all want me right now, and it stresses me out a lot. Then when the kids do finally go to sleep he usually has had to many beers for me to have an intelligent conversation with anyway. I feel bad for saying that, because we do have a good marriage for the most part. I am his princess, and he loves me as much as anyone can love me. Maybe I put my boys above their father, but they are above him if we didn't have them I would have fled long ago, because that is what I do. I have missed him, and I really do want to see him, I am just not ready for the turmoil involved with his return.

My confessional for today.

Well I don't have any stories today so I decided to write about some of the crazy things I like and do.
I like Dr. Hook, and listen to them often, yes I know they are a little on the disco side of life, but I don't care. I tell you this because I am listening to them at this very moment.

I actually watch Tech TV, not because I am interested in learning anything from it. No, I watch because I have a terrible crush on Patrick Norton, from the screen savers. He is just way to cute for his own good, and he is so funny. I do have to say that I have picked up a good tip here and there from the show, so my crush has actually improved my intelligence, I think.

I am not afraid to dance and sing in the middle of walmart, or anywhere for that matter. It makes my kids laugh, not because it is fun, but because I am a really bad singer and dancer.
If I don't know the words to a song I will just make up my own, sometimes my lyrics are better then the original ones.

I like collecting spiders and bugs with my boys. Spiders and snakes are not something that scare me. I am scared to death of those big green beetles that make that hissing sound, and run screaming from the room when they sneak into the house. The boys find this very amusing and are always on the hunt for one.

I actually enjoy reading Dr Suese books, and I can read them here or there, I can read them in a house, I can read them with a mouse. I do so enjoy his books Sam I am.

Speaking of singing I would love to be a lounge singer. I love that old jazz, and I always have to sing along. To bad I suck as a singer there goes another one of my dreams.

Oh yes and I would love to work for Kevin, but alas my dancing skill would prevent that also, damn another dream foiled. ( this was my lame attempt at humor in case you didn't know)

Tuesday, April 20, 2004

My dogs are crazy.

I have the worst luck with dogs. I have three of them 2 labs, and one extra large mop. Doc is the oldest he is almost 9, and Steve had him when we got married in fact he turned 3 the same day we got married. Doc is really the whole reason I ended up with Steve, he loved me from the minute I walked in the door, and I loved him. Who couldn't help love a dog that weight 102 pounds and jumped off the top of the stairs to greet them, with that look in his eye that just said "caught me". He has seizures, has had them since he was about 6 months old. I think he is just brain damaged from living with Steves ex for the first 6 months of his life, she was a crazy lady, maybe I will tell you about her someday. Anyway Doc had a seizure tonight, so I am writing about my four legged babies. When he has them it scares me, because I love my dogs so much, and I am always terrified that this might be the last one he has. We could have put him on meds, but we wouldn't have him now, as they cause a great deal of liver damage. So I hold him and rock him and tell him mommy loves him, and he is going to be ok all the while praying he comes out of it, and so far he always has.

Then their is the middle child who is 6, Jake, he is the diabetic. Steve got him for me on my birthday the first year we started dating. The gift that keeps on giving, never give someone your dating a dog, you end up keeping the dog and marrying the person your dating. He is Docs real brother, by that I mean he has the same four legged parents, but came for a different litter. See I really do know I am not their birth mother. Jake is my best friend really. He knows all my deep dark secrets, because he sleeps with me. Before he will go to sleep we have to talk for half an hour or so, and if you quit talking to him he pokes you until you say something else. He can be very persistent when he feels you have not told him everything too. Him and Steve actually have to fight for the spot next to me. Jake requires 2 shots of insulin a day, and special food, he is rather expensive, and probably eats better then the humans in our house.

Last but not least is my stray, Buddy. He showed up, and won't go out the front door now. I have to drag him to the car just to take him for shots. After I tried to find an owner and couldn't I decided to keep him. Yes I tend to take in strays, but don't show up unless you plan to sleep on the couch, there are already to many creatures fighting for a spot in my bed. I took him to the vet to get him fixed, because it is my goal in life to torcher the male species. The vet told me he had been beaten severely, and had a couple BB's stuck in him, which makes me sick. We have guns, and the boys have BB guns, you have to be pretty damn close for it to stick under the skin. I couldn't give him away after that, the poor little thing had been through enough already. He has been a pretty good boy, the vet said she thought he was about a year old, so now he is about 2 and a half. He doesn't seem to have any lasting effects of the beatings, but he still has nightmares once in awhile where he will cry and shake.
Wow I think this is the longest post I have made. Sorry to ramble on, I think I just needed the therapy after Docs seizure. Hope I didn't bore you all to much.

The people you meet.

Life is strange in our computer age world. With instant messages, and blogging, and email you can meet up with some pretty strange people. I have ran into a few myself, as I am a creature of the night and am up late a lot sitting at the computer. You know the plesant conversation starts.
"Hi, how are you?"
"Good thanks and you?"
Then things go weird, it is like just because you responded to them they have the right to make a verbal assult on you, and the next thing they are saying is how they would love to bend you over the desk and do god knows what. I would probably know what if I didn't just click the message off at that point, but for christ sake at least give me a little foreplay, better yet go insult someone else, because I am so far above your little world.
Then you meet those people you just like right away, you know those ones you want to succeed in life. THe one you feel like you have known forever, and have never really meet in person. I never knew blog life would introduce me to such people, but it has and I am a better person for it. So thanks to all my knew friends, you know how you are.

Monday, April 19, 2004

Over the hills and through the woods to walmart again we go.

Well we had a big night at walmart again. Yes that is my life, when you have children your priorities change, and boy do they change. We were actually out of insulin for the dog. I have a diabetic dog, like I don't have enough going on trying to raise children. You know those June Cleaver mom, the ones that their house is always clean, and dinner is neatly set on the table at the same time every night. I am not that mom. I barely am able to get the kids out of bed in time for breakfast before they go to school. We are always running late, because I can't find someone's shoes, and if Steve is not home we eat cereal for dinner. I am really a mess, it is a wonder my boys have survived this long. So I found some items at Walmart tonight to make life easier. I got a scotch brite toilet brush, ok maybe it won't make life easier, but the toilet will be clean more often now. These are pretty cool, you don't ever have to touch the brush, you slide the handle and the end comes right off in the trash. I also got some of those magic erasers, and they really do work, took the crayon right off the wall, at least the little part I tried it on. Oh the joy of progress.

In other news I don't think I am ever going to get my youngest potty broke, and by this I mean using the toilet, he has no trouble dropping his pants and letting it all hang out. Today we picked his brother up from school, pulled into the drive way, and everyone, but him, got out of the car. I look back and he has his pants down to his ankles, his little tally whacker flung over the edge door and is proudly seeing how far he can let it fly. Then he says to me, "had to pee mom" like I could have missed that. The oldest one has a wild crush on Barbie, and told me she has nice boobs mom. That just seems so wrong coming from a 5 year old. I have a feeling I am going to be in big trouble by the time he is 12. At least my middle one is not giving me any problems right now, but that could all change tomorrow.

Ok I am an idiot.

After Justin pointed out that my comments were above the posts I did some rearranging of things and put them at the bottom. So now everyone is totally confused I am happy.

Sunday, April 18, 2004

I stand still

I was in Walmart a few weeks ago, I finished shopping and went to the checkout. I stood in line with three children who had had enough shopping, and were starting to grate on my nerves. We finially got our turn to pay for our wares, and I notice there are no checkers. The sign say self check, well ok I can check myself out no big deal right, wrong. This damn thing was a pain in the ass. You scan your item and place it in the bag. Well you have to do it slowly or you confuss the damn machine. I started off and things were going fine, so I speeded up, trying some fancy trick like scanning 2 of the same items and then placing them both in the bag at the same time. The god forsaken computer generated voice tells me the weight for this item does not match, so I have to wait for someone to verify that I am not trying to sneak things into the bag, like I am a common theif. I look around and notice they have more people working at the station for self checking then they do working the normal check lanes. While all this is going on I am yelling at 3 kids not to wander off or touch that, and to quit hitting each other. Shopping is already a big enough pain why in the world wouldn't they put self checking for 30 items or less. Here I am with this cart overflowing with junk we could probably live without anyway, and I have to do it all myself. This thing sucks, and I see a future where that is how the stores are all going to be, no workers just computer generated voices telling us the weight for that item does not match, and the robo cop shows up to hall us off to jail for placing to many items in the bag at once.

The rain

I have been watching the rain today. It is a welcome change from the snow. I love the snow when it is fresh and untouched. It blanks the ground in pristine white, and the frost covers the trees so thick they look like giant crystals. I love those days, however the wind has to start blowing threatening to rip the roof off the house, and then winter becomes depressing as the snow blows away and the dirt covers everything. Then spring arrives and the rain seems to wash everything clean again. It is a cold rain, to cold to run in like I so much want to do. That is something me and the boys do a lot later in the spring when it is a little warmer, we take off our shoes and socks and run in the rain until we are soaked to the bone. We jump in puddles, and splash. I think everyone should play in the rain, and splash like children it is one of the things that keeps up young.

Friday, April 16, 2004

A night out with the guys.

Well I did nothing as usual today. Steve is gone so it was just me and the boys. I didn't feel like cooking. I hate to cook, how I became a housewife is beyond me, oh yeah I remember Steve couldn't keep his pants on. I am sure I was asleep during the making of at least the last 2 of our children, because I remember after the 1st one telling him we wouldn't be having anymore. I love them really I do, but marriage and kids were not part of my life plan. Anyway back to the story at hand. So I didn't want to cook, so we decided to go to DQ. When we go out just, me and them, the oldest one like to do the ordering. It is cute we have to tell him what we want and then he has to tell the clerk. Well he got all our orders in, and then he says "I will take my brothers and sit them down while you pay mom." He is 5 and his brothers are 3 and 4, and don't really appresiate him bossing them around. We danced in the aisle while we waited for our food, and I am sure the other people in there thought I was nuts, but I really don't care. I like to have a good time when I take my boys out, and we did, and so did the teenagers that were there. My youngest decided to play chase while we were waiting for our ice cream, and I told his brothers not to chase him, so he found some willing teenagers to chase him. They were 2 boys and a girl. You guessed it the boys were the ones chasing him. I told them I they were all going to get a time out if they didn't start behaving. Then I had a table full of teenagers calling me mom, and he took his ice cream and went and sat at their table he was invited of course, and thought he was really cool sitting with the big kids. As we were leaving the boys all high fived him and his brothers and yelled "bye mom" as we walked out the door. I laughed all the way home at them all. Kids are crazy.

Boy we have it good.

My morning routine usually includes reading my favorite blogs, I don't read to many just a few as I am getting my boys ready for school. That is what I was doing this morning, reading my blogs, and one really got my attention. This particular blog is always interesting. She is new to America, and she tells us of her struggles adapting to life here, she is never bitter, she just does what she has to do, and gets on with life. Well this mornings entry hit me hard, and she made me realize just how lucky in life I am. Steve and I don't have a lot of money, but we are comfortable, I get to stay home with my kids. We have 2 cars, a washer and a dryer, a dish washer, and all the little stuff that makes life easier, all the stuff I take for granted. Yes we live in a house that is way to little for 5 people and 3 dogs, but it is ours it is paid for. We are quickly out growing my little 2 door car, but it is paid for. We have a big back yard, nice neighbors, and all the things in life that we need. I am more thankful for all the stuff I do have today. I am sure the writer of that blog never intend to invoke such feelings from me. She was just writing, that is what we do, but she did, and a special thanks to her for it. Just remember that when you think things suck and life is not how you want it to be someone is struggling much worse than you. Don't take the little things for granted, because they really do make life so much easier.

Thursday, April 15, 2004

I miss my grandparents.

The internet is a wonderful way for me to talk to the people I love that live far away from me. It brings them right into my living room anytime they connect. However unfortunate events have called my grandparents away from home, and I have not been able to chat with them all week. It is crazy how much I miss our daily chats. We never talk about anything real important, just how the kids are doing, and what they are going to do for the day. We talk about going to walmart, or the grocery store. We just chat sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. I like the fact that they are always there, and I can have a relationship with them that I would not be able to otherwise, because they live in another state. I can share my world with them and they share theirs. It makes me feel closer to them. My grandparents are 2 of the greatest people in the world, and I love them so much. My granny knows me so well that all I have to do is type a couple of words and she knows what kind of mood I am in. She can tell if I have a headache or I am having a trying day with the boys, and she always knows what to say to make my day better. My granddaddy is funny he makes me laugh all the time, and growing up I never really knew that about him. I have gotten to know them as people, not just as my grandparents. I have always had a pretty close relationship with them, but they use to be my grandparents, now thanks to the internet they have become 2 of my very closest friends as well, and I hope they have a good trip and get home safe and soon, because I miss them so very much.

Wednesday, April 14, 2004

You can't fool me.

I am not normally political, well ok I am. I love my country. I happen to believe that we live in the greatest country in the world. I am the granddaughter of a WWII veteran, and the daughter of a Vietnam veteran. The fact that people in this country could actually elect John Kerry senator baffles me, and now those same people want him as the president. This is the same man that jump on the Jane Fonda bandwagon, and totally bashed the same men he served with in Vietnam. Now he uses the fact that he was a vet to his benefit. "Yes that's me John Kerry, I fought for my country. I am a good American." Well in my book you don't have to agree with the reasons our country went to war, but you do have to support the men and women who put on those uniforms and stand and serve us. You don't go around calling them baby killers, and saying that your ashamed to have served with them, and then years later change your tune when it benefits you. John Kerry is an ass. He spit in the face of every soldier who served in Vietnam, the men who should have been his brothers. I personally don't want this man as my president, and hopefully America won't either, because they don't know what they are in for.

Can't get with it.

Well the last 2 days have been so lazy for me. I just can't seem to wake up. I feel like I am walking around in a daze. I have so much to get done around here, and I start something and then can't get the energy to finish it. I have 10 projects going and nothing is getting done. I guess it might be the spring weather. I would much rather play than work, but if I don't get busy soon we won't have any clean clothes to go out and play in. I got up late today and that didn't help either. It always messes me up if I get up late. I am a creature of the night, and hate getting up early anyway. I would stay up all night and sleep all day if I could. 2 of my boys are the same way, and then we have one who likes to get up early and stay up late. I swear he only needs 4 hours of sleep and he can go for 20. Well I am off to accomplish something, hopefully.

Monday, April 12, 2004

My date

Saturday night was a big night my kids were gone, and I got asked out on a date. I don't normally go anywhere without the kids so it was a little strange. I spend a more time than normal getting ready. I wanted to look nice for my big night out, I curled my hair, put on makeup, and got dressed up. My normal routine is throw my hair up in a pony tail, put on jeans and a tee-shirt and go, but this was a special night. I walked out of the bathroom, and Steve, the most wonderful man in the world, who also happens to be my husband and the father of my children, said to me, "you look really pretty", and he kissed me. I told him straight up that just because he was taking me out didn't mean he could take any special liberties with me I wasn't that kind of a girl. So we went to dinner. We had a nice dinner and it was nice to have just the 2 of us for a little bit. We held hands and talked and I discovered that I love this man more now than when we first got together. We finished dinner and of all things we decided to go get movies and take them home. We have the whole night to our selves and we decided to go home. I guess it must be a sign of getting old. So we got some movies and came home and sat on the couch together just us no one in the middle and watched movies until 2 am. It was a really nice night. Then we got up the next morning and went and got our boys. It was good to have them home.

Saturday, April 10, 2004

All alone

I sit here in my quiet little house, and all I can here are the clicks of the keyboard, and the dogs breathing, as they lay at my feet. I don't remember the last time is was so silent around here. I enjoy the quiet late at night when everyone is in bed sleeping and I can go check on them whenever I want, but this is so different. My boys are 90 miles away from me, and for as much as I needed a break I miss them. I missed them crawling in my bed this morning when they got up, and I missed the morning ritual of what to have for breakfast. I miss the cartoons we watch together ever sat. Morning, and holding them, and kissing them. I even miss their little fights, and the toys in the living room floor. I am waiting for tomorrow when I can go get them and squeeze them up and hold their little hands. Tomorrow I will bring them home and everything will be right with my world again.

Thursday, April 08, 2004

The kids are in bed.

Well the boys got to bed late tonight, and the hubby is gone so I am sitting here with noting to do. I cranked up the tunes as loud as I could without waking them and sat down here to write. My mom, god bless her soul, is taking all three of my boys over this Easter break. Hopefully I get them all back the same way I sent them. They are good kids, but 3 of them together can be a hand full. The littlest one, he is almost 3, is looking forward to schoklate take that hims granny is making dist for him. For those of you who don't speak 3 year old that is chocolate cake his granny is making just for him. They love their grandparents more than they love me and Steve I think. They have been looking forward to this for 2 weeks now. I don't know what I will do with myself. I have always had at least one of them home with me. Thank God for the world wide web, and some good books.

My head hurts

First the tingling starts in my hands, this is always the first warning. It feels like I have been laying on them until there is no more circulation. Then comes the metallic taste in my mouth, like I have been sucking on an old rusty nail. At this point if I don't have any pills I am screwed. I then get tunnel vision and blind spots.. My speech starts getting slured, and I can't seem to make sense of my own words. I can look right at something and never see it, then the little flashes start, they are like spinning stars and they flash about 100mph, and that is all I can see. The closest way to describe it is flash blind. Like 500 people taking your picture over and over with really bright flash bulbs so your eyes never get a chance to adjust and all you can see are the flashes of light going off over and over.. All of these things start before the pain actually starts, so if I am really lucky I can find a safe place to be. Sometimes I have 2 minutes before the pain starts and other times I am really lucky and have ten minutes. The tingling in my hands starts to fade as this tightness at the base of my neck starts, and the pounding starts in my head, then the flashing stops. I can't stand light as it only intensifies the throbbing, and any sound even as slight as someone breathing makes me want to die. I can't move because it make things so much worse if I move at any minute my head may explode. Even blinking hurts so bad I keep my eyes closed. If I am lucky this happens when someone is around to watch the boys, and I go and lay in a dark room, just laying there as still as I can be, there have been times I actually passed out from the pain which can last anywhere from 2 hours to 4 days never letting up. When it finally starts to give up I am stuck with a bad headache for the next 2 or 3 days. This is what life is like when you have migrains. I think the worst thing is you don't know when or where they will hit. I can go 4 or 5 months without one or they will come 2 or 3 a month. They really don't know why people get them, but they have meds for them. I am on some meds I am suppose to take daily to prevent them, but when I take them I sleep. I can take one before bed and sleep 14 hours get up for 2 and go back to bed and sleep some more, which doesn't work when you have 3 small boys to watch after. I also have the ones that you take when you get the migrain, but I ran out of them so last night I was struck with one of these darn things, luckily it only lasted a few hours now I just have a headache.
Well I had one of those geocities site, but they are really a pain in the butt for posting more than one page of stuff, I was spending more time trying to link pages together than actually updating things. So I decided to do this. Mostly just for myself as a place to write stuff, mostly about my children. I love to write, however I am not always very good at it. So far this seems very easy and it works better already as I wasn't looking for anything fancy. Just a place for me.