Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Steve finally starts his vacation tomorrow, and the siding is going up and the windows are going to be installed. Hopefully anyway, there may be a killing before it's all done. I am not looking forward to this project. It will be hot out! When I get hot I get hateful.

More people should read Jamie's blog. He is funny, and has really nice legs! Go dig through his archives and find the pictures. He is a new daddy too.

Me and the boys rode our bikes to the park last night, and ran into our pre school teacher, and her family. She had David for kindergarten, and Cam for 2 years of preschool, and next year she will have Colton. Then her youngest son is in hockey with David. I am so lucky to have her, because she made the transition into school life so much easier. I know that she loves my kids, and they are in good motherly hands when they are in her class. She has 5 kids of her own and then fosters other kids a lot.

I actaully broke down and got a cell phone or as Colton calls it "technology". "Is that your technology mom?" he asks me. Lets just hope I don't become one of those women that anger me, you know the ones that drive around talking on the phone causing car accidents.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Baddest Boots

Toby Keith
Baddest Boots

I got the baddest boots on the boulevard
Yeah the baddest boots on the boulevard

They make a man proud walking through a crowd
Whoa nothin' else can stand beside em
When I pull em on I start singin' a song
Make me wanna tuck my britches' legs inside em

D man talked grandpa into getting these! He won't take them off his feet.

I had a quiet week without the boys around. Steve ended up going to Utah, came home at 2am friday, tore the sliding glass door out Sat, put plastic up so he could put the new door in today, and ended up having to go back to Utah this morning until wednesday. My horoscope said I would be more in tune with nature, but I didn't think they meant this freaking close.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Sunday, June 19, 2005

googlie goo

I stole this from Wendy girl. It is amazing all the things you can borrow from other people when you are are just not posting orginal stuff! Thanks Wendy girl!

Googlism's for Jenn.
jenn is an atheist- yes I am kinda sorta I guess.

jenn is awesome dot com- who didn't know that one.

jenn is not here yet- but with any luck she will show up soon!

jenn is cooler- but cooler than what?

jenn is my ex- yeah get over it already I have.

jenn is a person who loves jesus deeply ? it's very apparent-- yeah real apparent especially since I just said I was an atheist.

jenn is singing-usually

jenn is listening- So you better watch out I am just like that Santa Clause guy or the federal government whichever.

jenn is not a doctor or nurse- and I don't play one on TV.

jenn is unashamedly flirting with bill- sadly I don't know Bill, but I am always game for flirting so give me a shout Bill!

jenn is the founder of auroramud- What the hell is auroramud?

jenn is older then glen they apparently didn't have colour photography at that point- I deny ever posing with glen in those pictures, you can't prove nothing!

jenn is the best thing

jenn is responsible for the project finances-well yes and no, I am an unvested signer on the loan, which means that is Steve dies they hold me responsible for paying it off, but if he divorces me it all on him!

jenn is a wonderful person

jenn is doing all of the hard work- well that is just a given.

jenn is waiting for a response-you people alway keep me waiting!

jenn is no help-stop making me wait for a response and I might be more helpful

jenn is going to put the hurt to them-I might

jenn is soft-yeah and fleshy and squishy

jenn is concerned that jack is slipping away from her- Sadly he is I find him lurking about every now and then, but he seldoms states his love for me anymore! I think he is cheating on me.

jenn is a reject 59- 59 what bottles of beer on the wall?

jenn is one of the few females on the boards that i like-Thanks I like you too!

jenn is up on the bridge- and if Jack slips away I may jump.

jenn is the glue of the operation-Well someone has to hold it all together

jenn is shy and contemplative-sometimes

jenn is a lifeguard and swim instructor-I did once have my lifeguard certificate, but I was never a lifeguard or swim instructor.

jenn is not responsible for any injury- this is ture it isn't my fault and I don't have enough for you to actually sue me so go hassle someone else.

jenn is a woman named rosario-No really I am Jenn, I don't even know anyone named Rosario

Friday, June 17, 2005

one of those days

Today I woke up and didn't have any coffee, I was out. I thought there was another canister on top of the cabinet, but it was empty! I have a caffine withdrawl headache something awful. Then my computer crashed, I really need to learn to say out of the registery files, but no I have to go and delete them making it impossible for my XP to run properly. The boys made a mud hole in the back yard and covered themselves in mud, and despite all of that I am in a relatively happy mood. I think I am learning how to hold the little things close to my heart and be happy with that, after all the little things are special. Little things like a hug from the boys, a phone call from someone I love, a few quiet moments in my day, time to myself at night to read a book or blog, the little things are what get me through. There are lots of little things that I treasure. Even with being in said really good mood I desperately want to rewind my day and relive about 15 minutes of it. There were so many things I should have said and didn't, and I am a dork! So now I am thinking what a total idiot I am. Can I get those few minutes back please, I am begging here! I want a redo damn it!! The momorns have been patroling the neighborhood today they are crazy people. I politly told them I was not interested, why do I feel the need to be so freaking nice to them? This is the second time this week! If I would have only told them off maybe they wouldn't come back! Something I am working on, maybe one day I will finish it.

Can you?

Can you touch my soul,
Make me believe in fairy tales with happy ending?
Can you show me who I am again?
And understand that’s just me?
Can you make it real,
Instead of just a fantasy?
Can you be everything to me,
Without taking away who you need to be?
Can you hold me
And let me fly?
Can you sit with me quietly
and know everything is ok?
Can you be my strength
when I am weak?
Can you believe in my
when I don't believe in myself?
Can you touch my soul
and love me?

Alone Again

I lay awake staring at the blackness surrounding me, the ceiling fan softly swirling round and round above me, and I know I will not sleep tonight. Like so many nights I lay here and wonder if you really love me or if it is just something you say to appease me. I want to be able to see it in your eyes when you say those words and know that you mean them. I desperately want to feel it when you touch me, and hear it in your voice when you say you love me. I yearn to be the first thought you have each morning, and the last thought you have each night before you drift off to peaceful slumber. I long to be your everything, your rain, your shine, the snow storm that keeps you inside, your days, your nights. I need to be wrapped up in your arms and feel safe from the world knowing you would protect me from myself. There are fleeting moments when I think maybe it is true, just maybe you really do love me, but in a blaze there gone, and I am left feeling alone again.

Thursday, June 16, 2005


My mom got a copy of a letter written by my granddaddy's grandmother, Annie Devriee, after she got married she became Annie Olree, making her something like my great great grandmother. Granny Annie, that's just fun to say, has been dead for a long time now, and the letter was written in Oct. of 1907, almost 98 years ago. She was writing to one of her son's, she had 7 son's and one daughter. She wanted to get together at Christmas with all her kids. They hadn't sold the cotton yet so there wouldn't be any money for presents, but they sold the scrip so there should be enough for a nice dinner with everyone. Wow talk about poor, but I guess most people back then were poor, it was a different world, and money wasn't what make it go round.

Anyway the letter talked about how Granny Annie was worried about his soul and wanted to be sure he was following God's will. Her husband, my great great grandfather, was a preacher and they ended up in Texas. She also mentioned selling some books, which we don't know if she wrote books or was selling them for other people, but when her kids were small she would make them put on passion plays so we think she may have written books as well, probably religious books.

After her husband died at the rip old age of 45, Granny Annie moved all her kids back to Missouri, and that is where they all stayed except my great grandaddy who made his way back to Texas.

It's funny how one letter can bring on so many question. Like where are these books she was selling, what were they, how come great grandaddy went back to Texas, apparently he hoboed his way back there. What I am really wondering is how many shirt tail relations do I have out there wondering the same things!

Mom has a picture of them that I will post one of these days.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Swimming in a sea of rocks

Things I have been thinking about lately.

If I died could Steve raise my boys the way I think is best? I don't think he could so I better not die until they are raised.

Are we going to get the siding and windows up without killing each other? Doing any home improvement project will make you take a second look at your spouse!

Where am I going to put my tomatoes this year? I need to get them in the ground soon or it will be to late, but with all the work going on around here makes it hard to grow anything.

I think I need to get out of the house, I need a vacation.

This house is way to small! We need to get the basement finished!

Should I have a yard sale or should I just pack up all this junk and give it to good will? I think it would be much easier to just give it to good will.

I like Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks. Dreams is one of my favorite songs.

What would I be doing right now if I didn't have kids? My life would be pretty meaningless without them. I can live without a lot of things but not the boys they make me who I am.

When the boys grow up and move out what will Steve and I do? They are the one thing that we have together, will we even like each other after they are gone?

I will be 47 when the baby graduates from high school, Steve will be 55.

Will the boys go to college? I hope they do and I hope they finish.

Friday, June 10, 2005

more fun with numbers

There are 23 letters in your name.
Those 23 letters total to 113
There are 9 vowels and 14 consonants in your name.

Your number is: 5

The characteristics of #5 are: Expansiveness, visionary, adventure, the constructive use of freedom.

The expression or destiny for #5:
The number 5 Expression endows with the wonderful characteristic of multi-talents and versatility. You can do so many things well. The tone of the number 5 is constructive freedom, and in your drive to attain this freedom, you will likely be the master of adaptability and change. You are good at presenting ideas and knowing how to approach people to get what you want. Naturally, this gives you an edge in any sort of selling game and spells easy success when it comes to working with people in most jobs. Your popularity may lead you toward some form of entertainment or amusement. Whatever you do, you are clever, analytical, and a very quick thinker.

If there is too much of the 5 energy in your makeup, you may express some the negative attitudes of the number. Your restless and impatient attitude may keep you from staying with any project for too long. Sometimes you can be rather erratic and scatter yourself and your energies. You have a hard time keeping regular office hours and maintaining any sort of a routine. You tend to react strongly if you sense that your freedom of speech or action is being impaired or restricted in any way. As clever as you are, you may have a tendency to make the same mistakes over and over again because much of your response is glib reaction rather that thoughtful application. You are in a continuous state of flux brought by constantly changing interests.

Your Soul Urge number is: 11

A Soul Urge number of 11 means:
With the 11 Soul Urge, much of your thinking and interests relate to the abstract, the spiritual, and utopian dreams. You are motivated toward idealistic concepts, and the sharing of your ideas and concepts with humanity. This number is not one that is giving in a material or a practical sense, but rather one who desires to help mankind with a more abstract commodity such as religion, spiritualism, occult studies, or even psychic abilities.

If you possess the positive 11 Soul Urge traits, you have a dream of the perfect world; you are highly idealistic and inspirational. Your inner strength and devotion to your beliefs are extremely strong. You have a very good mind that is especially well equipped to handle the higher, more abstract forms of thought.

If there is an excess of 11 energy in your makeup, you may possess some the negative 11 traits. There is a tendency for the 11 to produce considerable amounts of nervous tension which is bought on by a very high level of awareness. You may be too sensitive and overly emotional. In some cases, these sensitivities and emotions are quite repressed, and this tends to add even more to the sense of nervousness in the makeup.

The strong 11 is not a very practical person because of the extreme idealism; often, there is a degree of self-deception present. There is usually a rather fixed idea of right and wrong held by those showing strong 11 traits, and with this very often is a resulting attitude of inflexibility.

Your Inner Dream number is: 4

An Inner Dream number of 4 means:
You dream of being a very solid citizen that people can depend upon. You strive for organization and predictable order. You want to be recognized as a person with a plan and the discipline to make that plan work like clockwork.

Thursday, June 09, 2005


I was in bed over an hour ago,and look I am back up again. I hopped around some blog and found this site over at Jennifer's house and decided to steal it from her, because really I lack anything better to post!

You were born on a Sunday
under the astrological sign Libra.
Your Life path number is 8.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2441220.5.
The golden number for 1971 is 15.
The epact number for 1971 is 3.
The year 1971 was not a leap year.

As of 6/9/2005 4:18:52 AM CDT
You are 33 years old.
You are 405 months old.
You are 1,758 weeks old.
You are 12,310 days old.
You are 295,444 hours old.
You are 17,726,658 minutes old.
You are 1,063,599,532 seconds old.

There are 109 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 34 candles on it.

Those 34 candles produce 34 BTU's,
or 8,568 calories of heat (that's only 8.5680 food Calories!) .
You can boil 3.89 US ounces of water with that many candles.

Your birth tree is

Hazelnut Tree, the Extraordinary
Charming, undemanding, very understanding, knows how to make an impression, active fighter for social cause, popular, moody and capricious lover, honest and tolerant partner, precise sense of judgement.

There are 199 days till Christmas 2005!

The moon's phase on the day you were
born was waxing crescent.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Saturday, June 04, 2005

another list

I filled out the list Tricia girl sent me and it got me thinking about all the things I want to do.

I want to visit my sister in St. Louis this summer.

I want to spend more time with my grandparents, before it's to late.

I want to skydive.

I want to take my boys to an AV's game and have tickets behind the bench.

I want to lose weight.

I want to meet some of my friends that live in this box.

I want to actually finish one of the many novels that I have started over the years.

I want to see the great wall of China, Tibet, and a few other far away places.

I want to experience the whole Florida adventure through the eyes of my boys, disney world, sea world, universal studios, all of that.

I want to fall in love again.

I want to see my boys grow up to be happy, and have all their dreams come true.

I want to be more than just content with my life. I want to reach that point where I can actually be happy.

I want to buy Colton an Alice snake for a pet, but he has to be old enough to take care of it. He is to little and would love it to death at this point.

I am sure there are other things, but that is all I can think of in the 10 minutes I has taken me to do this.

Friday, June 03, 2005

2 hours and counting

There are only 2 hours of school left for this year. I am so happy! I hate that they have to go off to school and leave me every fall.

It is getting closer to the time when we are going to start doing the siding on our house. My next husband is going to be wealthy so I don't ever get stuck doing remolding work. I hate it.

Colton asked the checker lady at the store yesterday if she was "The fancy dancer." I don't know where he came up with that, but then he suckered her out of balloons for him and his brothers.

OK Dammit but only because I love you!

Tricia girl got me!

Have you ever................

(x) snuck out of the house
( ) gotten lost in your city
(x) seen a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides Canada
(x ) had a serious surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
(x) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
(x) been in a fist fight
(x )been arrested
(x) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been sky diving (It on my to do list)
(x) skinny dipped
(x) skipped school
(x) seen a therapist
(x) done the splits
(x) played spin the bottle
(x ) gotten stitches
( )drank a whole gallon of milk in an hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Nigria falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) crashed into a friends car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
(x) been fired
(x) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated Mardi-Gras in new Orleans
( ) been to Europe
(x ) slept with a co worker
(x) been married
( ) gotten divorced
(x) had children
(x ) seen someone die
(x) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(x) driven over 400 miles in one day
(x) been to US
(x ) been to Mexico
( ) been to India
(x) been on a plane
(x) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten sushi
(x)been sking/snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college/university
( ) graduated college/university
(x) fired a gun
( ) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(x) been intimate with someone of the same gender

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Dead man running

I read this article this morning. I am a little distressed that anyone would try to turn over this man death sentence. He deserves much worse than a lethal injection.

I was 17 years old in 1988. I remember like it was yesterday. Lisa Marie Kimmell was an 18 year old girl driving from Colorado back to Montana, and she turned up missing. They found her body thrown off government bridge about 15 miles outside of Casper, but they never found her car, a Honda civic with personalized plates saying "lil miss". An autopsy reveled that she had been raped and tortured before her death. I don't think any of my friends ever went anywhere alone after that, and I know my and my sister didn't. We were scared, there was a viscous murderer in our town. It took them 16 years to find this sicko, and now they want to turn over his death sentences. NO FREAKING WAY. I honestly think that we should tie him to a pole and let everyone throw rocks at him for a few days before his death. He is an evil man who deserves the death penality. I wish the freaking do gooders would find some other cause besides this vile man!