Friday, June 17, 2005
I lay awake staring at the blackness surrounding me, the ceiling fan softly swirling round and round above me, and I know I will not sleep tonight. Like so many nights I lay here and wonder if you really love me or if it is just something you say to appease me. I want to be able to see it in your eyes when you say those words and know that you mean them. I desperately want to feel it when you touch me, and hear it in your voice when you say you love me. I yearn to be the first thought you have each morning, and the last thought you have each night before you drift off to peaceful slumber. I long to be your everything, your rain, your shine, the snow storm that keeps you inside, your days, your nights. I need to be wrapped up in your arms and feel safe from the world knowing you would protect me from myself. There are fleeting moments when I think maybe it is true, just maybe you really do love me, but in a blaze there gone, and I am left feeling alone again.