Resolutions

With the new year fast approaching I have reflected on the old and what I want to change in the new. I have several things I would like to change like I would love to have a boob lift and liposuction, but somehow I don't think they will make the top of the list this year, unless I find some anonymous benefactor who wants to front the bill for my plastic surgery.

So in the coming year I am vowing to lose weight, I always make that one, and it goes good for about a month.

I am going to go to the Dr, and find out what is wrong with me, I have been fighting these god awful headaches and then I get these tired spells and I get so cold I feel like a dead person. I hate the Dr. but as a good friend said "wouldn't you rather know what is wrong and get treated?" I am not to sure I want to find out I have something incurable though so I have put it off for quite some time.

I am going to be a better blog friend and visit you all more often, part of that has been the headaches, and partly because I have just gotten lazy. I am going to do better.

I am going to be a better mother, I always make that one to, and always fail miserably at that too! I am just not Betty homemaker. I am really good at playing with them and loving them, but the other June Clever stuff just is so darn hard.

I am sure I will have a whole list of my inadequateness, but that is all I can think of right now!

Happy New Year everyone please have a safe New Years eve, and don't put those keys in the ignition if you have had to much to drink I would hate to start the new year with the lose of one of my dear computer friends!

Christmas morning

The boys were all nestled snug in their beds, but they were restless. David was sure that if I didn't get in bed Santa would surly skip our house. Finally 2 hours later they were asleep, and the Jolly fat man did indeed stop at our house. I was made aware of his visit at promptly 3 am, when the light in my bedroom was flicked on and David began yelling "he brought me a digital camera! He really got it for me." and Steve saying "I told you he wouldn't last much past 3." I coaxed him back into bed and we dozed for another hour and a half and then I gave up and we got out of bed and rousted everyone else out too. Mom and dad were here and they showed up at our house just as we were getting out of bed. They stayed in a motel, because my house is tiny. One day we will finish the basement and it won't be so tiny. So we all are making our way into the living room and granny and grandpa were coming up the stairs when it happens. Colton see his stuff sitting on the couch, and the only thing he notices is that there is no damn singing elmo, the only thing he has asked Santa for. Well David has already gotten the singing elmo so Santa couldn't bring the stupid thing, so being the most wonderful big brother on earth David starts tearing through the packages under the tree until he finds the right one. He then takes it over to Colton who is now crying real tears in grandpas arms, and he says "here Colton open this one I got you the singing elmo Colton don't be sad." and all was right with the world again. I am not sure Colton will ever trust Santa again, but he has more faith in his brother now. They got so much junk I don't even have it all put together yet, and I need stock in batteries. They got Leap pad and books to go with it, they got a v tech smile and games to go with it, they got scooters, and roller blades, and games and trucks, they got more stuff than they will ever play with. The big hit was David got a boom box for his room and his digital camera. Cameron got his scooter, and Colton got a plug and play spongebob video game, I know I said my kids would never have them, but maybe I can get the computer back now! I am off to lay down I have a migrain again. I will try to blog hop tonight and check on you all. Hope your christmas was as great as the boy's had.

We wish you a Merry Christmas

The boys are excited for the jolly fat man to arrive, they can hardly wait and I can hardly wait for all the work to be over. It is an awful lot of work for one day, but the boys are worth it.

Please keep Savannah and her family in your prays as they will be spending this Christmas in the hospital. Next one will be much better for them. Savannah will be able to enjoy all the holiday treats she has always had to miss out on.

and for anyone who wants to track Santa norad tracks him every year, and they have a great website my boys love to look at so they know when it is time to get into bed so he will come to our house.
Track Santa

Hope you all have a very Merry Christmas.

It has been another crazy weekend.

Wow Friday I had the meeting with the school. I met with the teachers and the principal. They are getting David all kinds of tests done for learning disabilities, and they are getting him some extra help with his writing, because writing is really difficult for him. After the testing is done we will all review the findings and decide the best course of action. They better have a really good game plan, because if they don't we will have another sit down and include the super intentent of schools, and if that doesn't work grandpa said something about lawyering up and getting shit taken care of! I still didn't get what I wanted to hear from the teacher, she still won't come in and give him any extra help. They went from saying things like ADD to now David is always tired and lethargic, which is a load of crap I have never seen him act lethargic. So that is just baffling to me how they can all of a sudden say one thing and then change it all up when the Dr. says he wants a detailed letter of why they think that. So that is where I stand with the school right now. All I know is that I will be there so much now that they will think I am on the payroll. It is sad that you have to supervise your child's education, when I was younger that would never have happened. I don't know what parents who have to work do to make sure their children are getting the best education possible. After that meeting I got to go to Cam's Christmas party that was fun, they exchanged gifts and did some other fun stuff. Mom came to town to watch Colton for me and then we went shopping.

Steve, me and the boys went shopping last night. David reminded me that I told him I would give him some money for doing some thing around the house and he wanted it last night. I asked him why he needed it right now. He said "I want to get my brothers their Christmas presents." He is such a sweet baby! So I got him his money. I gave him 20 bucks, and him and I started looking at toys. He was looking at some of the things he wanted and I was waiting to see what he would pick. He grabs this one car thing, and I said you want to get them that?

D: "yeah"
Me: "ok"
D: "Well no mom I really want that not my brothers. I want to get them something they really want."
Me: "Ok honey you just get them whatever you want to get them."
We go around the comer and there is that singing elmo. David looks at me and says,
"mom Colton really wants this a lot. He even asked Santa for it, do I have enough?"
Well it was a little out of his price range, but he was putting his heart into this gift giving thing. He wanted to be sure he made his brothers very happy how could I tell him no? So that is what he got Colton, then we walked around looking and found rock em sock em robots. Cameron has asked for that several times, and David remembered so that is what he got Cam. He loves his brothers, sometimes I wonder if my boys even like each other and then one of them does something like that and I know that they really do love each other!
Today is hockey and then mom and dad are coming to get David so he can spend some time at their house with them over the break.

Female

Jay and the recent events over at his house really got me thinking about women. No not like that get your mind out of the gutter.

I am no body builder, but I have always been tough. I have kicked the shit out of a number of guys in my time, and I have had the crap knocked out of me by a few, but I digress so back to the topic. When in life did we as women decide that men were the enemy and we had to prove that we are better than they are? I long for the days that men open the car doors for the ladies, or offered them their seat in a crowded room. I don't really think it is the men that have changed, but women. We have decided that we are capable of doing everything ourselves, we have decided that we will not be the weaker sex. A man tries to show a few manners and we back away like they are the plague. We have trained them that we don't want to be treated as anything other then equal at every turn, but what I ask is wrong with a little chilvery? I love it when Steve carries the heavy stuff in the house for me, and I love it when one of my boys holds the door open and say "Ladies first". I like the fact that my husband tells my boys, "get up and let your mom set there". I find it very attractive when a man can hold on to those values in a world where there are women who refuse those very values. I will continue to raise my boys to open doors for other people, and to offer their seat to a lady, and open and close the car doors for the women in their lives, and to treat a woman like a lady, even if she wants to be treated like a man. I am Steve's equal, I can do anything he can do, but I am also smart enough to know that it is just as good for his ego to let him take care of me as it is for mine that he wants to.

Oh what a weekend

David got a hat trick! Woohoo, well actually he scored like 5 goals in one of his games this weekend. I was such a proud mom! He did great. He had a total of 8 goals in 4 games, and got a trophy which he wants to put a picture of on the blog so my friends can see it. I told him I would get one of him tonight when he is in his gear. He is so proud of himself, and he was really excited because everyone came to watch him play. His Aunt Deb, Uncle John, Grandma Sherry, and Granny all made it to most of the games. He has decided that he could play for the AVS right now, and I told him he could play for them right now, because they are not even playing! I had planned on getting him tickets to an AVS game for christmas, damn NHL ruined that didn't they! Oh well there is always next year. I don't know what I will do next year I think all 3 of the boys are going to play. I will be busy busy busy.

I got an appt. to talk to just about everyone at the school on friday. They better be really nice to me or I am going to get really mad. I am off to the store I have to get bells for Cam's class. They are having a party on friday and will be doing the Polor Express, should be fun. I hope that the meeting is over by then!

Oh the joy of parenting

I am so pissed off. I did not receive word one from the school today! I spent half the day at the school, and not one word from anyone! So we went to the Dr, and again I was at the school in the office and not one word. I guess they think I am just going to go away.

Well I am not going away. I will be in the face of the school district for the next 13 years!

We went to the Dr. today and he said he just doesn't see ADD in my child, he said it may be a learning disabilities, but really the ADD is just not there. He wants a letter from the teachers that feel David has ADD stating why they feel he does have it, and he wants the school to do a psychological evaluation for learning disabilities. So that is were I am at with the David thing I am making a list of things I want to discuss at the meeting on Monday. Hope you all have a great weekend we have a hockey tournment this weekend so I will be camped out at the ice rink.

Updates on the day

Well I am working an a special post for tomorrow so I wanted to get this in tonight!

I picked David up from school.

Me: "Did you give that letter to your teacher?"
D: "Yep"
Me: " Did you give the one to reading teacher?"
D: "Yep."
I check his backpack for some kind of acknowledgement, I am looking for something that will redeem her in my eyes you know a little note that says something like "Jenn I received you letter and would like to set up a time to discuss your concerns." you know nothing fancy, nothing even well thought out, just something. There was nothing which made me madder.
Me:" did they say anything to you?"
D: "No mom. They know they can't be mean to me because of anything you say to them, because if they are they will get fired."
What a bright child he is oh yeah they will and probably the crap beat out of them as well! Don't mess with my boys! The grandparents and my sister are all ready to come up and straighten things out, and they don't handle things nearly as diplomatic as I do. I hope for the school's sake that we can manage to get it all worked out before they have to come to town!

Oh momma is a little upset

David's teacher sent home progress reports. This is what she said about my child.

David has a lot of potential as a first grader. He tries hard when working one on one with an adult, but has not yet established the independent work habits we expet of first graders at this point in the year. He requires constant reminders to stay on tasks by himself. I believe the scores which have placed David at risk from the beginning of his school career, and his current aacademic rank placement at the bottom of my classroo are a direct result of his inattentive behavior and lack of focus.

I have not heard anything about how he is doing in class since Oct. when we had parent teacher conf. She has stopped sending homework home, I get nothing. I assumed he was doing better. He is doing much better reading at home. His reading teacher has got it in her head that he has ADD, and I think she has convienced his teacher that he has it. He doesn't have it, but that is beside the point. I sent this letter to school with David today and I am sending it to the reading teacher, the principal, and the super intendent of schools.

teacher(not her real name),

I mentioned to our Dr. that reading teacher thought David was ADD. He said he did not think so, but we were there for other reasons at the time, not for that. I think ADD is an excuse used when confronted with difficult children, “let’s put the blame on the child because it could not possible be us.” I understand that David is a difficult child to teach, he does not understand half the stuff you are asking him to do, and when he does not understand something or is not interested in doing it, he will become unfocused and inattentive. It is your job as his teacher to make him pay attention while he is in your class. It is your job as his teacher to make sure he does not fail, because his failure is indirectly your failure.

I have talked to him about some of the things going on in class and he always says two things: 1. there is too much noise. 2. I do not know what she wants me to do. I have encouraged him to ask when he does not understand something, but he is his mother’s child and does not want to look “stupid” when everyone else gets it and he does not. He will not even tell you when he is sick. Just before Thanksgiving break, when I picked him up from school he was running a fever. I asked him why he did not go to the nurse he said he did not want to interrupt class. I was the same way in school. I was lucky I had teachers that saw the potential and they took me in before school and after school to make sure that I was “getting it”.

I talked to my mom and she said I struggled through 1st and 2nd grade with reading and writing problems. I still cannot learn something if I do not have a quiet, structured environment, David is the same way, and I do not see that in the classroom. Children get up whenever they want, there are groups of children roaming about the room; they need to be in their own individual desks being taught not in groups at tables where they are easily distracted. They need structure, not a fun environment. I am frustrated, and please do not feel that I am telling you how to teach your class, I am sure that most of the children are getting it, but I know mine is not and to many people want to place the blame on him and his inabilities. He is very able to learn if he has the right setting to learn in.

It is the school’s responsibility to find the best possible way of teaching him, if that means me bringing him 30 minutes early in the mornings for extra help or picking him up 30 minutes later after school, if that means finding a different classroom more structured for his needs then that is what needs to be done. I feel that the school is not doing everything in their means to teach my child. I entrusted the public school system, which my tax dollars pay for, to teach my child and they are failing him miserably. Everyone wants to discuss learning disabilities and ADD, there seems to be a lot of knowledge about the problems, but I have yet to see any improvement so to me that means you people do not have any solutions.

The schools do not know what to do with a child like David so they label them and try to find fault with the child instead of finding accurate ways of teaching. You mentioned at the parent teacher conference about headphones. You mentioned “at risk” meetings also, and I have not heard anything else about that. I have offered to do extra work with him at home, but you say that what the children are learning in class is not stuff you can send home. I have left my phone number and my email address, I am at the school at least 3 times a day picking up and dropping off children, I am not very difficult to get in touch with especially when it is concerning my child. I think my next step is to come in to monitor the class for a week and see exactly what is going on and what I need to do next to ensure he gets the education that he is entitled too.

Thank you,

Jennifer Schall

Busy weekends

Man I am glad the weekend is over! Saturday the boys I can't drag out of bed on a school day, were up bright and early at a little before 7. They were excited because Granny and Grandpa were coming to town, and for them that is almost as good as Santa coming. We all got ready and met them at the mall. When we first got there Colton started yelling "GRANNY, where are you Granny? Grandpa." as loudly as he could. We found grandpa first and all the boys hugged him and then Colton looked around and said "Where's my granny?" I think he would move in with his granny if I would let him. So we shopped and shopped and ate lunch, and before I knew it the day was over, it was almost 3 and David had a birthday party to go to, and mom and dad wanted to get on the road before it got to dark and the deer got thick along the highway. We took D to the party and then we went over to Kmart to do a little shopping. Well we were strolling along and who to my wondering eyes should appear, yep good ole Saint Nick himself. Cam went over and talked to him and got some stickers and some candy canes, but Colton latched on to me and said, "That is not Santa that is some guy in a costume." Well I am rolling on the floor, because we had just been to the mall earlier and Santa lives at the mall. Colton waved to that mall Santa and was all gung ho to go talk to him, but the line was a mile and a half long, so I will take him during the week when no one else is there. Anyway back to the "fake Santa" he tried to give Colton some candy canes and that child backed away like he was being offered poison, he wouldn't even take the candy Cam got for him from the fake Santa, he didn't want anything to do with him at all. Then it was time to go get David and we picked him up hurried home, and had to go to Steve's Christmas party, which sucked, the food was good we had prime rib, but I could have found something a lot better to do for 5 hours! I think that comes from having separation issuses. I don't like leaving my kids, in fact I have left them with a babysitter maybe 5 times in their lives since I started staying home with them. I will leave them for a few hours with Steve and go to the store or something like that, but I don't enjoy leaving them with a sitter. Sunday David had a hockey game and then we came home and put up the Christmas lights outside and the snowman, then we watched some Christmas specials with the boys, had dinner and went to bed.

I always liked this little story

Yes, Virginia, There is a Santa Claus
Editorial Page, New York Sun, 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:
Dear Editor,

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon


Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

David's Hockey picture

Christma Past

“You awake?”
“Yep.”
“You think their up yet?”
“Nope”
“Let’s get them up.”
“Not yet, it isn’t time yet.”
“Come on lets go see if he came.”
“Not yet let’s wait a little bit.”
“Well I am going!”
“Ok ok, but let’s get mom and dad first.”

This was always the same conversation every year between my sister and me, and then we would sneak past the living room peeking quickly to see if the jolly fat man had left us some much-anticipated loot and of course, every year he had. We would then make our way through the dark house to mom and dad’s room and stand outside the door. Daddy always knew we were there. We would stand there a few minutes listening to see if they said anything.
“Let’s get them up” my sister would say.
“You go first.” I would tell her.
Then daddy would cough or make some sort of noise and we would run in yelling “He came He came!” and daddy would say “lets go see what he brought” and we would all go and check out the loads of goodies. It is funny how I can clearly remember most every Christmas we shared, but I can remember very few of the gifts I actually received.

Through the years living at home, it never changed, even when we were long past the age of believing in Santa. My little sister would come into my room and get me up and then we would go get our parents, still to this day she is up long before the crack of dawn waiting to open gifts, but most of the time now it is through phone calls that we share the joy of the season with each other.

I miss her waking me up on Christmas morning, and I miss sneaking into mom and dad’s room waking them up. I miss sitting around the tree opening presents with them. I miss mom and Jo in the kitchen cooking all day, all the while telling me that they didn’t need my help they had everything under control, because they knew I only asked to be nice I still hate being in the kitchen. I miss watching my mom make million dollar fudge for me. I miss going Christmas shopping with mom and Jo, and I miss Arby’s beef and cheddar sandwiches after we were done. I don’t know why, but we always seemed to go there after Christmas shopping. The three of us use to have a great time meandering through the stores together sometimes we didn’t even buy anything at all. The one thing I really want for Christmas, the one thing I can’t have is for my mom and my sister to live in the same town I do, so we can enjoy all of the Christmas cheer together again.

Want a 4 year old?

I am just about willing to give him away free of charge this morning. We woke up and everything was great. Everyone ate their breakfast, got their showers and got dressed, we were actually ahead of our normal schedule. We got in the van and listened to some Christmas music and laughed on the way to school, and then we pulled up...

Cameron got out with his brother and all of a sudden decided he was not going to school anymore. He started screaming at the top of his lungs that he wasn't going, and he latched on to the seat with a death grip. David being the helpful child that he is decided that he would try to drag Cam to school, and I am telling David "just go to class honey I will handle it". "Cameron come on your going to make mom go to jail if you don't go to school." now I have Cameron crying and screaming, because he doesn't want to go to school, and David crying because he thinks I am on my way to jail because Cameron won't go to school, and Colton sitting calmly in the passenger seat as if this is just a normal morning. I hop out and drag the child to the front door of the school; I let go of him to get the door opened and off he runs to the van, so again I go and get him. I take him to the door and this time he wiggled out of my grasp and back to the van. So I chase him down with David hot on my heals. Luckily Colton was in the van and let me back in because Cameron had me locked out at this point. I load them all up and drive around to the front of the school, and I grabbed Cameron out of the van and hauled his ass to the school into the front door kicking and screaming.
"David get your butt to class and quit worrying about Cam."
"mom I will take him with you."
"Just go"
Well David got half way down the hall and came running back as Cam tried to escape once again, but I was to quick for him that time. The office lady came out and helped me get him and she took him down to class and David walked with her. I left and didn't turn around once. It took us 20 minutes to get him into class today, but there was no way I was letting him come home with me, because that would have just taught him that he doesn't have to go just because he doesn't want to. Cam always goes to school without a problem unless he doesn't feel good, today was really different. I had times with David where he didn't want to go, but all I had to do was tell him he had to go and reassure him I would be there to pick him up and all was fine. Colton told granny on the phone, "Cameron almost made me and mom go to jail cause he didn't want to go to school, he may have to go live at the orphanage."

Let it snow

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I actually cooked dinner at home so it was just Me, Steve and the boys. I was impressed with myself, I didn't burn anything and everything was edible, and the turkey was tender and juice. All 4 of my boys decided I am almost as good at cooking Thanksgiving dinner as their granny that was the best thing they could have said to me! I was going to go shopping today, but there is about 3 inches of snow on the ground and it is still falling.

Hopefully it last through Christmas, because I love a white Christmas. Tomorrow we will turn on the Christmas music and dig out the decorations to start decking the halls. I love Christmas, but for some reason I always get so sad. My mom says that I have always been that way. She always tells me that when I was a baby we would go shopping, back in the days when they use to play Christmas music in the stores, and she would look at me and I would be crying. I will still cry for no good reason during this time of year, I will hear a certain song,or see something on the news, and just break down. I think that even as a baby and a child I realized that the world should be a peaceful and wonderful place and it isn't. I have always wondered why during the holiday season everyone tries just a little harder to be kind to each other, but the rest of the year they could care less. I didn't mean for this to be such a depressing post. Well I am going to shovel the sidewalk with the boys, and make snow angels and throw snowballs!

Sore throats

I don't know what is up, but the boys are all getting the damn sore throats again. They were just getting over them and now they are getting this crap all over again. I am thinking about getting the dogs a throat culture to see if they are carrying it around and giving it back to us. I have always gotten sore throats. I have overly large tonsils that should have come out when I was little. Luckily only Colton has the huge tonsils, but all the boys seem to be like me when it comes to picking up sore throat germs. They have all been exposed to chicken pox more than once and not one of them got one bump, but someone with a sore throat comes within 50 yards of us and we get it.
I am sure that the boys are probably picking it up at school, I see a lot of snotty noses and coughing kids when I pick up mine. School is worse than the hospital for picking up germs!
I have been trying to get my house cleaned for the holidays. I am actually trying to get all the crayon off the walls and shampoo the carpets, which is really useless with 3 kids and 3 dogs! I still need to wash out my cupboards and clean my oven, and clean out the fridge, so I better get back to work!

Hockey baby Hockey.

The players lined up anxiously awaited the zamboni to leave the ice. The normal chatter amongst players was nonexistent as I made my way to the stands. I found my seat as the door to the rink opened letting 30 some 4 to 6 year olds on the ice. Woohoo its hockey my friends, no not the NHL this is much better than any professional game you will ever watch; this is mini might hockey, and they are playing their first game of the season!

They skate around the rink warming up, the D man skates past the window where we are, and giving us the little head nod and smile that said “don’t worry mom we are going to kick ass and I am going to get my first hat trick.” That is all he talked about all week was getting that hat trick (3 goals in a game for the non-hockey readers), and his granny came to town to watch him get it. The teams both head to the bench get their line up and take the ice for the face off. The D man is left wing, the center hit the puck and D takes off after it getting to it first, he passes it off to another teammate who takes it to the net woohoo score for the Orange team! Face off the D man again is the first one to the puck and he skates passed everyone, looks at the goalie and slams it into the net. Then they have a line change, they have line changes every 2 minutes in USA mini mites.

They only had nine kids on their team so they end up with a lot of ice time in each game, which is good the more they play the better they get. It was David’s turn again the Red team took the puck and scored against us, a little girl who was on D’s team last year actually, so I had to cheer for her cause she is an awesome little thing. They face off, puck hits the ice and an Orange team kid takes off with it shoots misses, red and orange fight it out for the puck, red hits it out from behind the net. The D mans eyes never left the puck he skated up and stopped it. He looked around and slammed that puck, I thought oh he is gonna miss, “go in go in” mom and me are screaming. WOOHOO granny jumps up and down and I am beaming with pride as he scored his second goal. There is only one period of 13 minutes left, and the next two line changes David is stuck in defense, because he already scored and they try to give everyone a chance to score, he only got one more chance to get his hat trick the last minute of the game. He got the puck and away he went and BUZZ time is up.

He was excited his team won the game, but he really wanted that hat trick. He told me, I will just have to get hat tricks in ever game from now on mom.

Women are your equals

I was blog hopping as I so often do and when I came to Zelda's house I paused and thought just how good I have it because I am from the United States, more so because I am a woman in the USA.

Growing up my daddy use to tease my mom and tell her things like "and I expect you to walk 3 steps behind me and to the left." as a child I never understood that saying, but as I got older and started paying attention to how the world worked I got it. My mother being the strong, independent woman that she is would have never walked behind my father. She is his equal and he has never really tried to oppress her or my sister or me in anyway. Daddy always told us we could be anything we wanted to be. So it is always a little shocking to see things like the film Submission. As an American woman I sometimes forget that there are places that still view women as the lesser sex. If you have 11 minutes watch this film it is very tastefully done, but the shock doesn't end there it goes much deeper.

The man who made the film, Theo Van Gogh, was brutally murdered because he choose to speak out against the unequal treatment of women in the Muslim faith. I again as an American can't understand being murdered for speaking out against something I don't believe in. It is just unreal to me that someone died for making this film, and killed by religious fanatics.

I have read a lot of the Quran and a lot of the Bible, and it is utterly frightening how much the 2 books have in common if you sit down and read them not as religious text to follow, but as books of history. I have yet to find in either book where it says "Beat your wives into submission, and make them obey you." Yet both the Islamic culture and the Christen culture has been guilty of doing just that. Men throughout history have always tried to control women through religion. Most women in the Christen faith have broken the bonds and read the Bible and said "Wait that doesn't mean that at all." and that is really what the movie is saying "wait a minute the Quran doesn't say it is ok to beat me and oppress me." The film threatens the life style of some Islamic men to be in control, it defies their rights, the ones they gave themselves, not the ones the Quran gave them. These men do not like the fact that this film might make some women stand up and oppose them. It might band women together and give them strength in their God to help them over come the wrath of evil men. That is the very reason Van Gogh lost his life, because he opposed the cruel treatment of women and tried to empower them.

Two very opposing articles on the treatment of women and the Quran. It's all in the interpretation isn't it!

The Quran and Women

Quran on women

Veterans Day

Today is the day we honor the men and women who have served our country. I think that anyone who is willing to put on a uniform and put themselves in harms way to protect me and my children is pretty damn awesome, and I thank you with all of my heart. You are all in my thoughts and prayers not only today, but everyday.

In Your Honor

Unselfishly, you left your fathers and your mothers, You left behind your sisters and your brothers. Leaving your beloved children and wives, You put on hold, your dreams—your lives.
On foreign soil, you found yourself planted To fight for those whose freedom you granted. Without your sacrifice, their cause would be lost But you carried onward, no matter the cost.

Many horrors you had endured and seen. Many faces had haunted your dreams. You cheered as your enemies littered the ground; You cried as your brothers fell all around.

When it was over, you all came back home, Some were left with memories to face all alone; Some found themselves in the company of friends As their crosses cast shadows across the land.

Those who survived were forever scarred Emotionally, physically, permanently marred. Those who did not now sleep eternally ‘Neath the ground they had given their lives to keep free.

With a hand upon my heart, I feel The pride and respect; my reverence is revealed In the tears that now stream down my upturned face As our flag waves above you, in her glory and grace. Freedom was the gift that you unselfishly gave Pain and death was the price that you ultimately paid. Every day, I give my utmost admiration To those who had fought to defend our nation.

author unknown



Toby Keith
American soldier

I'm just trying to be a father,
Raise a daughter and a son,
Be a lover to their mother,
Everything to everyone.
Up and at 'em bright and early,
I'm all in my business suit,
Yeah, I'm dressed for success from my head down to my boots,
I don't do it for money, there's still bills that I can't pay,
I don't do it for the glory, I just do it anyway,
Providing for our future's my responsibility,
Yeah I'm real good under pressure, being all that I can be,
And I can't call in sick on Mondays when the weekends been to strong,
I just work straight through the holidays,
And sometimes all night long.
You can bet that I stand ready when the wolf growls at the door,
Hey, I'm solid, hey I'm steady, hey I'm true down to the core,
And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price,
I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice,
Oh, and I don't want to die for you,
But if dyin's asked of me,
I'll bear that cross with an honor,
'Cause freedom don't come free.
I'm an American soldier, an American,
Beside my brothers and my sisters I will proudly take a stand,
When liberty's in jeopardy I will always do what's right,
I'm out here on the front lines, sleep in peace tonight.
American soldier, I'm an American,
An American,
An American Soldier

Why must people piss me off?

It is like a goal for certain people in my life to piss me off. I can't get rid of them because well it doesn't matter the fact is they are always going to be around, luckily they don't come around that often.

I am a very easy going person it takes a lot to get on my bad side. I give the benefit of doubt most of the time, and I forgive people easily, but once you have crossed the line numberous times I am done with you. Well I have been done with this person for sometime now, but there is no way to get them completely out of my life. I am polite and nice when I see them, but I am not going out of my way to engage them in conversation's, and I am not going to show up at places they tend to frequent, and I really don't want them at my house. I think what makes me most upset about the whole thing is that Steve doesn't get it and he blames me, which just causes another struggle in our already going down hill marriage. He thinks I am a bitch, and I probably am, but there are just certain things that I won't get over no matter how much time has passed. There are certain things that I shouldn't be expected to get over especially coming from the people that said them. I think that if Steve respects me even a little bit he will allow me to have my feeling and leave it at that. I am not asking him to justify them or agree with them, but to just allow me to have them without getting upset because of the way I feel. Anyway I am done ranting about it, because well it isn't going to change anything anyway.

Playing Dr.

Well I finally broke down and took myself to the doctor today as my throat is swollen shut. It went something like this.

Dr.: "Oh it's mom's turn to be sick."
Me: "I am not sick, mom's don't get sick."
Dr. Shines light at me and tells me to open my mouth. "Yep your sick." Then proceeds to look in my ears and poke at my face.
Dr.: "How long have you had this sinus infection?"
Me: "I have a sore throat not a sinus infection."
Dr.: "NO you have strep throat, ear infections in both ears, and a sinus infection. How long have you had the sinus infection?"
Me: "I have had a sinus headache and stuffy nose for about a month or so, I don't know... awhile."
Dr.: "You have been taking over the counter drugs to treat it haven't you."
Me: "Yep"
Dr: "Well stop it."
Me: "Why?"
Dr: "Because I am the Dr. and I said." Ok he didn't really say that, he said, "You have stopped the infection from draining, which has caused the sinus infection to get worse and move into your ear canals."
Me: "Oh."
Dr. hands me a prescription slip and tells me not to take anything else from over the counter and if I don't feel better by Thursday to come back.
Well now because I have not taken anything for the sinus headache and pressure my eyes feel like any moment they will pop out of my head with such force they will break the computer screen, not to mention the pressure on my ears they didn't hurt while I was taking the over the counter crap, but it is draining right down the back on my throat gagging me everytime I swallow so I must be getting better right?
It seems like it has been one thing after another lately. If I were a dog someone would have taken me out and put a bullet in my head to put me out of my misery by now, and I really don't think that would be such a bad thing at this point.

Their coming to take me away heehee hoho

Well it won't be long before I am committed to a little padded cell, and at this point I really am looking at it rather as a little vacation than a place for crazy people. This morning we were hunting coats so we could go to school, and we can't find Davids coat, it wasn't in the house, not in the back yard, not in the van. It has vanished from sight. I say to him, "Now think really hard where was the last place you had it." He thinks for a minute lets out a big sigh and says "I had it on the play ground".

Great the play ground, we had a 4 day weekend so this would have been Wednesday of last week that he "had it on the play ground." I hand him a jacket, kiss him, and tell him "find your coat" as I push him out of the van toward the playground! I pick him up early because we had to go to the airport and get his granny, and he wanted to go with us. Well I go in gather him up, get his jacket, his backpack, and sign him out. We check the lost and found no coat we check the office no coat! The coat is gone, and I tell him, "well that was a brand new coat David, and your not getting another one!" to which this child replies, "I know mom because I would just lose it too."

We proceed to the airport, get mom, and head to lunch at the village inn. She went to see my baby sister in St. Louis MO., so she gives us all the details of the trip and daddy about falls asleep in his dinner, because he worked all night and had not been to bed. We decided to forgo any shopping mom needs to do until Sunday when she comes back to town. She gives David his new hockey skates, Hespelers, she found for $9.95 on clearance in St. Louis. They were marked down from 79.95 so that was a really good deal. Then her and daddy load up and to head home, which is 90 miles from here.

We start the journey home as well, and as we are passing the school I see like 10 coats on the playground. I said "David do you think that one of those are yours?" "Yes." he says somberly. I stop the van and tell him "You go look through all those coats and see if one of them is yours." "Will you come with me mom?" he says. "No David you need to do it yourself." I tell him as he is getting out. He runs to not the first coat or the 2nd one, but to a group of coats at the far end of the playground, he throws them around and grabs one and runs to the van yelling "I FOUND IT MOM, I FOUND IT!!!" When he gets back I check the coat to make sure it is indeed his, as I have written his name in it, and sure enough it was. I am amazed not because we found his coat, but because he knew exactly where he had left it and never thought to look there to begin with!

Wow what a week.

Last Friday we had Halloween parties at the school. So I went to Cam's in the morning and then D's in the afternoon. They were very nice parties, and Colton got to march in the little classroom parade so he was very happy.

Sunday we were getting ready for Hockey, and it was snowing and cold. I asked David where his shoes were. "I don't know mom." "Where is your coat?" "I don't know."
Then I remember he had been playing outside on Sat. "David are your shoes and coat outside?"
"No mom they are in the van." he says as he is making a beeline for the front door, and I am stomping to the back door. It was no surprise to me that laying in the back yard almost covered with fresh snow was a coat, a brand new coat. I spun around quickly thinking I might just choke him this time, he will strip down naked out there and just leave his clothes laying out there until I find them, but then it happened in mid spin my knees buckled and there went my back. "God damnit." I screamed as I clinched my fists and my face contorted into something I can only imagine as evil. Steve looked at me and took off down the stairs to retrieve the missing items thinking I might have finally reached the end of my sanity, and I may kill them all at any minute. David started pleading for his life telling me his brothers must of taken it outside, and all I can say is "get in the van." He was out the door like a rocket. I thought about telling them I needed to go to the ER, but then they were all behaving so well because they thought that they had finally drove me over the edge that I sat silently on the ride to the rink. Once there however it all ended because I couldn't feel my left leg at all, and the pain shooting down my right leg about had me in tears. I managed to get out and hobble to the door. Then Sunday night we went trick or treating, I love going with the boys, so I went. About 4 houses up I told Steve I had to go get the van, so that is what I did. I drove with my window down and watched my little guys trick or treat. Colton was so funny. He was a pooky doest, or in adult spooky ghost. He found some girls that must have been about 11 or 12 to chase around this car "BOOing" at them. It was funny. Then he would get to the door and say "Trick or treat, I'n a pooky doest...BOO." He got more candy then anyone, and he didn't want to quit he was having such a good time. Cam in all his logic decided that it is just as fun to go to walmart and buy your own damn candy, and a whole lot less cold that way too. David ran into one of his school friends and they proceeded to stand at one ladies door trading candy out of their bags as she was trying to put candy in. Monday morning I barely got out of bed, I had the Ozzy walk going on, you know hunched over shuffling my feet along an inch at a time. Thankfully Steve got to stay home with me for 2 whole days.
Well that is enough for now I suppose.

Election thoughts

This isn’t as political as it sounds.

Top 10 closest elections, by popular vote in since 1876. These are the times in our history that we were the most divided as a nation.


1876 Tilden beat Hayes by 252,224 votes, but Hayes won the Electoral College vote.

1880 Garfield beat Hancock by 7018 votes.

1884 Cleveland beat Blaine by 62,683 votes.

1888 Harrison beat Cleveland by 98,017 votes, but Cleveland won the Electoral College vote.

1892 Cleveland beat Harrison by 380,810 votes.

1896 McKinley beat Bryan by 567,692 votes.

1916 Wilson beat Hughes by 591,385 votes.

1960 Kennedy beat Nixon by 118,574 votes.

1968 Nixon beat Humphrey by 510,314 votes.

2000 Gore beat Bush by 540,895 votes, but Bush Jr. won Electoral College vote.


Top 10 Elections that were the farthest apart.

1920 Harding beat Cox by 7,004,847 votes.

1924 Coolidge beat Davis by 7,339,430 votes.

1932 F. Roosevelt beat Hoover by 7,060,016 votes.

1952 Eisenhower beat Stevenson by 6,621,249 votes.

1956 Eisenhower beat Stevenson by 9,587,720 votes.

1964 Johnson beat Goldwater by 15,951,296 votes.

1972 Nixon beat McGovern by 17,999,528 votes.

1980 Regan beat Carter by 7,497,819 votes.
1988 Bush Sr. beat Dukakis by 7,077,023 votes.

1996 Clinton beat Dole by 8,203,602 votes.


Out of the Presidents elected during the times we were the most divided Garfield, Mckinley, and Kennedy were all assassinated. There were 3 elections, the only 3 in history that the Electoral votes differed for the popular vote; Harrison vs. Cleveland, Tilden vs. Hayes, and of course Gore vs. Bush Jr. We the Spanish American war, WWI, and Vietnam.

During the times that we have been at our least divided Nixon got impeached, Clinton got impeached.

I could go on and on, but I really do have a point. This election was about average really Bush took the popular vote by about 3,582,326 give or take. I think we are just divided enough to keep everyone else on their toes, but we still are open enough to change that we don’t shut out other people’s views, and that is a good thing. We need to challenge our government, we all have a voice and we have the freedom to use it.

Sorry for the delay

I have screwed up my back, so moving is nearly impossible. About 2 years ago I herniated 3 disks in my lower back while we were elk hunting, and I reinjured them sunday, so don't blame me if this post doesn't make sense blame the vicoden. I am still not sure why I am taking the pills they make me tired and loopy, but do nothing for the pain. I am not suppose to pick up anything more than 5 lbs, I have 3 little boys who always want me to pick them up so I don't know when I will heal. Thankfully Steve has been home to take care of me. He drove me to vote yesterday. I am walking better this morning than I have all week, so Steve went back to work today. Well kiddies I am off to lay down sitting in this chair kills me.

One more before Tuesday

Many families right now have loved ones serving in Iraq, most of us know someone who is or has been there. Now say a soldier came home after half his tour, and started denouncing, not the war, but his brothers who served in battle with him. He goes before congress and says they are nothing but war criminals, not a select few, no every soldier that has fought or will fight in the war commits atrocities on a day to day basis. Think about the people you know fighting in Iraq now you know them they are your sons and husbands and sisters and daughters. This man says things like "they personally raped, cut off ears, cut off heads, taped wires from portable telephones to human genitals and turned up the power, cut off limbs, blown up bodies, randomly shot at civilians, razed villages in fashion reminiscent of Genghis Khan, shot cattle and dogs for fun, poisoned food stocks, and generally ravaged the countryside" and then this soldier goes on to secretly met with the heads of Iraq and Al Quidia. He runs with a group of American's, who have been known to visit POW camps supporting the torture of American GI's. His speeches are played in those POW camps to prove that the US government is not supporting them anymore and the only course of action they have is to die in the camp or to sign a full confession that they are criminals who deserved the punishment they are receiving. His words have caused protests against the soldiers doing the duty their country called upon them to do, not the war they are fighting, but the soldiers themselves. They return to be spit upon and shamed and dishonored. Say in 30 years this same man is running for president, would you vote for him?



If you said no and your voting for Kerry you need to do the research, that is exactly what John F. Kerry did to his brothers in Vietnam. That quote is from his testamony before congress, he ran in the same group that Jane Fonda aka Hanoi Jane, was in. It is all out there if you take a few minutes to find out the truth behind this man you will see the evil that he truly is. He isn't for keeping jobs in America, he isn't for healthcare, the only thing John Kerry stands for it traitor.

Oh the stress of kids

I don't know if I have gotten any sleep this week. We finally got over our colds, and all was well for a mirco second. Sunday during hockey Cam said he didn't feel good, and then he decided Monday that he was fine and Tuesday we went to the library with his class, so he didn't want to miss that. Well Tuesday night he woke up in the middle of the night running a fever and crying that his ear just hurt so bad. I thought it was probably from the stuffy heads we have had, so Wednesday I kept him home with me. Then we went and picked up David from school, he came home and played and everything was fine, until just before dinner, the D man looked at me and said "I just want to go to bed momma." I made him eat dinner and then I tucked him into my bed, and he was hot as hoecakes. I got the ear thing to check "how many degrees" he was, and it flashed 102.2 at me. Well shitfire 2 sick kids and I was out of children motrin. I work well in a pinch though I had some cold meds left over that had fever reducer, or as I like to call everything that breaks a fever, aspirin, in it. Tylonel, Advil, Motrin, it's all aspirin to me. I took them both to the doctor today and they have strep throat! So now I am awaiting the onset of strep for me and Colton, because you know we will get it the chances of us not getting it are like a billion to one. I am sure we will wake up sick in the morning, and tomorrow we have Cam's Halloween party to go to in the morning and then Davids in the afternoon. Steve has been out of town this week, but I am sure he will come home sick this weekend, he is always sick when the boys are, and he isn't a mom so he can't be sick and take care of children too. I will have a lovely weekend of taking care of 4 sick children, thankfully the 2 are on meds already, and I can get more for Colton. I hate public school and all the germs!
On a side note stories for the forum are due tomorrow and I have nothing, and I don't know when I will have time to write something so I may have to skip this round, my house is a mess because I can't seem to pick up after these children fast enough, and I have cramps and a headache. Ever have one of those weeks where you just want to put in your letter of resignation? If only I wasn't the founder and president around here, I would try to get someone to buy me out, but there isn't anyone that stupid in the whole world!

The game

Be the President This is kind of a neat little game it is for cable in the classroom. It doesn't take that long to play and is kind of neat for the kids learning about government and how it works.

You get to pick the issues you support and oppose. Which brings me to my post. Capital punishment and prison reform. Now some of you will get a whole new view of me after reading this and some of you will just go well that doesn't surprise me at all.

I think that our prison systems are in need of some drastic changes. Prison is a place your supposed to go when you do something wrong. It is a consequence to breaking the law your freedom is taken away. I believe that prisoners should be allowed a safe place to live while they are doing their time. I also believe that they should do without television, video games, or any of that stuff. They should get the very basic stuff in life. A bed, a shower everyday, use of a toilet when they need it, 3 meals, schooling and a job they don't get paided for, I mean really why should my tax dollar buy their video game, cigarettes, and pay for their cable. They are there to be punished. When I ground my boys, which doesn't happen that often, it is to show them that there is a consequence to their actions and if I allowed them to play with their toys or watch TV then it really isn't teaching them the error of their ways. The same basic thing with the prisons, if they are allowed all this freedom and entertainment it really isn't showing them that there are consequences for their actions. If prison isn't a an awful experience for them then what exactly is it that will keep them from committing the same crimes again and again. If my boys kept throwing rocks through the neighbors house and I said well that is just it you go to your room and watch TV and play video games what did my child learn? That if you throw rocks at the neighbors house mom will let you watch TV and play video games. People getting sent to prison are the same way if it is easy time what does it matter if they go back. I know some of you are thinking but they have to pay for their own cable and stuff. Yes they do a whooping $13.00 a month will get you cable at our women's prison, all the channels too, and they earned that 13 bucks working at a prison job and got paid with my tax dollars, so in a sense I paid for that cable and you paid for that cable. It is just not right and lacks common sense the way our system runs.

Oh yes you know it is coming don't you; I already see some of you cringing because you know what I am about to say. Capital punishment is something I totally agree with. If you have taken someone's life then you don't deserve to keep yours and it is that simple. In fact I think rapists, child molesters, and murderers should all be given the death penalty. If you have that much disregard for another life then you shouldn't get a chance at 24 appeals, and end up costing the tax payers lots and lots of money. You get one appeal and that is it and after that appeal is shot down you go off to the chamber. It is again common sense, it is setting an example, if people understood that murder is punishable by death then we wouldn't see so much of it. I am not idealist about it I know there will always be evil people who have no consideration for the lives of other, and there will always be murderers. Right now a person kills someone and gets to spend their life on death row while we pay for their cable and cigarettes, and they may get out one day. It all comes back to making people responsible for their actions, and if there are little or no consequences for their actions then we should just do away with laws and prisons and live in a society of disorder and chaos.

snow makes me lazy

I woke this morning and the house was freezing, something that makes me want to snuggle under the covers and go back to sleep. The boys had to go to school though so I threw back the blankets, and jumped out of bed; I ran to the kitchen to start my coffee, then ran back to the bedroom to get my thick socks. That is when I noticed the snow was sticking to everything. We have had snow a couple times already, but the ground was still warm enough that nothing was sticking for very long. The ground is now cold and the snow is not melting. The boys are wanting to know when we can go sking. I have not been skiing in about 15 years so I hope it is like riding a bike and you don't forget, because I promised them I would take them this year. We live about 25 minutes from the top of the mountain and they have some nice trails up there for both downhill and cross country. I now have to figure out how I am going to teach 3 small boys to ski when I am not even sure if I remember, but we still have another month before we have to worry about that, perhaps I will just save up some money and hire someone to teach them and I will sit in the lodge and drink hot chocolate all day.

I needed a good laugh today

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa.
>
> He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company.
> One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the
> dachshund discovers that he is lost.
> Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction
> with the obvious intention of having lunch.
> The dachshund thinks, "I'm in deep trouble now!
> Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately
> settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
> Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly,
> "Boy, that was one delicious leopard.
> I wonder if there are any more around here?"
> Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look
> of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
> "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had
> me."
> Meanwhile, a monkey who had been! watching the whole scene from a
> nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it
for
> protection from the leopard.
> So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard
> with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
> The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
> strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
> The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey,
> hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
> Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
> and thinks "What am I going to do now?"
> But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his
> attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet and just when they get close
> enough
> to hear the dachshund says:
>
> "Where's that stupid monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring
> me another leopard."
>
>
>
> REMEMBER: IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH
> BULL!

Blogging

People seem to blog for all kinds of different reasons. For some it is their way to get their voice heard, for some it is a joy of writing, and for others it is a personal journal.

I think I am a little bit of all these things. I enjoy expressing my views in a public arena. I enjoy knowing what other people think and feel as well so I open the comments up, not everyone agrees with me and I don't expect them too, after all they are my opinions, my feelings. I have always enjoyed writing, and have kept a journal since I was a little girl, now I keep it all online. I don't tell all here, but a lot of my feelings go into my posts, and I don't claim to know how to spell, or that I can convey a rational thought in a manner that will make sense to everyone. I write it down just like I would say it, I mean after all this is not a work that is going to be published. This is my personal journey through life, my thoughts about things; my feelings. I have never asked anyone to read my blog, if you come here it is of your own free will. I don't do this to entertain people. I do it for me and no one else, and it is nice that I have made some friends,some really good friends, while doing it, but that is not the reason I choose to maintain my little personal space on the world wide web. Just like in my real life you never know what I might have to say a lot of the time I talk about the boys, they are my world, but every once in awhile I will tell you honestly how I feel about something or someone, that is who I am. I have opinions and I choose to share them here. When I am passionate about those feelings I will write about them weather they be about the boys, politics, or just life in general and you can make the choice to read them or not and you can choose to agree with them or not. That is what makes living in a free society a great thing I have the freedom to say whatever I want and you my friends have the freedom to listen or not.

I am offended.

By now I am sure everyone has heard about the statement Theresa Heinz-Kerry made about the first lady. She actually said "I don't know if she has ever had a real job.” Well putting the fact that Laura Bush was a teacher and a Liberian aside, she has always had a "real job". The woman is a wife and a mother, and that is a real job. I was in total disbelief by that woman's words. She insulted every wife and mother in America. So I choose to stay home and raise my children instead of allowing some stranger to raise them I am somehow less important than someone who has a job outside of the home? I know many women who would love to be able to stay home with their babies instead of having to go to a job everyday. I have made the choice to be here and implement morals and values into my kids, my morals and values not someone else's. I have made the choice to give up the extras we could have if I had a "real job". I think the benefits of raising my own children are far greater than owning 4 wheelers and boats, and all those things. Me being the biggest influence in my boys' lives is worth giving up everything but the basic necessities in life. We don't have to give up to much for me to be here with my kids, but I know a few moms’ that have. I know some moms that have to go to work everyday just to make ends meet, and they don't have the extras either. The thing is that once you are a mother you have a real job weather you go to another job outside the home or not. Raising Children is a lot of hard work and not all of us are in the position to hire a nanny to raise them for us, and not all of us would want someone else raising our children even if we were in that position. I am insulted by that woman’s words, and every mother in America should be insulted by her.

because JP asked for it,

and I have nothing better to post here; I am posting my story from the forum.

Warning it has some graphic language and is a bit twisted so if you don't like that kind of thing don't read any farther, oh it isn't very good, because well I am just not that talented people!

Part one

There was only a slight chill in the October air, unseasonably warm really for this time of year. The kids all decided to have a sleep over in the tree house. I knew what they were up to, hell ever parent that had been raised in our little town knew what the kids were planning tonight. We all did the same thing ourselves at that age. Sweet memories of youth could turn so sour though, and I wished I could retell our story to those kids in my tree house. I wished I could implement the terror of that night to these children, but they wouldn’t have to live the same horror we had, and I couldn’t tell anyone about our night. That is how we referred to it “our night”. Halloween was only 3 days away, and it was a tradition of sorts, started even before my time, the kids would all camp out the weekend before Halloween, and when they thought the parents were sleeping soundly they would sneak off to the old house up on the hill; the house was supposedly haunted, and they would tell the story of the old woman who had died there and how her ghost still roamed about.

There was no evidence of any woman really dieing in the house, and I have come to understand that ghosts are not real, at least the kind in scary stories. Oh I believe in ghosts, they haunt you for life, but I don’t believe they are the kinds that float around inhabiting houses they died in. No ghosts tend to live in your memories and your thoughts that is where they are real, and I fear my demons will follow me to my grave. I could hear the kids up in the tree house and I smiled at their innocents, and hoped they would keep theirs much longer than we had ours. The phone rang interrupting my thoughts.

“Hello” I answered.

“Maryanne, it is Jean. How are you?” she sounded calm, but I knew she was feeling the night close in on her just as much as I was.

“Jean, I am good. How are you?” I tried not to let on that I had been thinking about “our night”, but she knew just like I knew she had been scrutinizing over it as well. We had been there TOGETHER, along with George, Stan, and Marty. The five of us had always been a tight group.

“I am fine. How are the kids doing?” She was making small talk, but neither of us wanted to bring up what was always somewhere in the back of our minds.

“The kids are having a great time, you want to come over?” I asked.

“Yes.” Was all she said.

“OK see you in a few minutes.” I hung up the phone, as Marty came through the back door. I had been expecting him, and soon Stan would show up as well. George use to come too, but this year it would only be the four of us. George had let the ghosts of the past get to him, and had taken his own life after last years get together. I always think there was more we could have done to save him, but people deal with their problems in different ways. I guess that was the only way George knew how to make the ghosts stop haunting him.

“Hey, sis.” He said as he leaned close and kissed my cheek. Marty was my brother, my twin brother.

“Hi sweetie. Jean is on her way. Where is Stan?”

“He said he would be here in a few, don’t know what is holding him up.” Marty and Stan were best friends then, and had always reminded that way.

We sat down at the table and I poured us some coffee, we were not going to sleep tonight anyway. We could hear the laughing and MUSIC coming from the tree house, my twins Beth and Bobby, and their little friends, there were five of them, just like it had been with us. Jean’s oldest Ryan was among them. I wanted to bring up “our night”, I needed to talk about it, but I didn’t know where to start not even with Marty whom I was closer to than anyone in the world. That is when Marty broke the unspoken rule, the rule we never really made, but always seemed to follow.

“The weather is exactly like the night we went out. Did you notice how unseasonable warm it is, just a bit of a chill, but not cold like most years.”

“Yeah I noticed.”

“It was my fault Mare, I know none of you ever blamed me, but I have always blamed myself.”

It had been his idea to follow that shaggy YELLOW dog into the woods BEHIND the old house, but he was not responsible for what happened to them there. Marty always thought he could save everyone and everything, and he was sure he could BEFRIEND that stupid dog. We had only brought two flashlights with us, so we decided we would all stay together and walk in a straight line one light on each end. I remember how dark it got with each step we took, and the sound of our breathing was the only thing to be heard. We lost the dog right off the bat, and then we lost ourselves; that is when we saw the fire and heard the men talking. We should have known that no sane person would actually be camping in the woods that time of year, but we were young and scared. We were taught to trust adults; I guess that is growing up in a small town where bad things just never happen.

Stan and Jean both strolled through the front door disturbing my thoughts. It was hard to believe that it had been George that had taken his own life, and not Stan. Stan and I were the ones who had suffered the most at the hands of those men, but George had delivered that skull CRUSHING blow to the bald ones head.

“Hey guys I got food for the kids, and booze for us!” He pulled the paper bag from behind his back. Stan drank a lot, but none of us blamed him. That was how he silenced the evil.

Jean and Stan sat down, and I got them both cups and filled them with coffee as Stan open the bottle and began pouring a splash in all of our cups. I topped mine and Marty’s off with some hot coffee, and we all sat there staring at our booze filled mugs, wanting to talk about that night, but not sure where to start.

“I was telling Mare that it was all my fault. You know the night it happened. If I hadn’t been so stupid it wouldn’t have happened.”

Jean looked dumbfound, as she placed her hand over Marty’s. “It wasn’t your fault. You had no idea, and we all wanted to follow that damn dog Marty.”

“We could have talked you out of it man, we could have said no way, we should have…” Stan’s eyes drifted to the floor.

I knew that Stan was thinking about the torture those men had put him, us, through. I still don’t understand why they singled the two of us out for their sick little games, I am sure they were going to work their way through the whole group, before George got brave and took a stand. I can still feel those vile hands against my skin, and looking up and seeing Stan’s naked little body bent over that log with the filthy man kneeling behind him. I can still here Stan crying. I remember the words the bald man said as his fingers probed at my most private parts, “you know how long it’s been since I had nice tight pussy little girl, and I ain’t never had me no virgin pussy.” Sometimes I woke up at night hearing those words.

“I still can’t believe George killed himself. I always figured it would be me that took that route.” Stan was teary eyed. This had been the first time we had really talked about anything that happened that night.

“When George saw what that man intended to do to you Maryanne, he lost it. He broke that rope and picked up that rock and just started smashing it against that mans head over and over.” Jean shook her head in disbelief even after all these years it was still hard to believe.

The other man stood up and moved toward George, but Stan jumped up, the man didn’t know which way to turn. I couldn’t see what was going on the dead man was lying on top of me as bits of brains and blood ran into my eyes. The next thing I remember was George telling me it was all going to be all right. “Get him out of me.” Was all I could say, and George said “I am trying to pull him off you Mare; it is going to be ok.” He managed to pry the dead cold body off of me with Stan’s help, and when I stood up I saw the other man lying there dead as well. That is when Marty screamed “Oh my god you guys that is the sheriff” pointing at the man who had molested Stan.

Oh my gosh I finished my story.

Well I didn't actually finish it so I had to post in chapters this time. I will post the next chapter next time if the words are good and I can fit them into the story.

For everyone who doesn't know what I am talking about I am talking about fizzle and pop forum. We have a story telling thing going on, but the competition is dwindling and dieing so if you enjoy writing go join up, or if you enjoy reading just go on over and vote.

Tonight it hockey night so I have to run get D from school, get him fed and dressed and head out. I better do that now or I am gonna be late.

What do you want to be for Halloween?

That was the big question we asked our children this weekend. We took a trip to town to finally get David a new coat, which we found right away. He found one at Target that we both agreed was a very nice and cool coat, and he could move around in it. Then we looked at costumes. $26 to $29 for a Halloween get up is just not in my budget. I don't know who would buy a child a $29 outfit they will wear one time, and mostly here in Wyoming their coat is covering it anyway. So I said it is on to walmart where we found nothing. I swear they didn't have anything worth a crap. Cameron wanted to be a devil, that was until he saw an evil picture of a devil and said that was to scary for him. David wanted to be a nijia, did walmart have a nijia costume? No they didn't, but what do you expect from that damn store if they were not so cheap I wouldn't even shop there! So then he decided on a vampire, oh that is good a little face paint some fake teeth and a cape which we found all for about $7. So then Cameron found a cowboy outfit he wanted. I told him I could dress him up like a real cowboy, we have everything at home to do that, but no he wanted the cheap plastic one ok fine there were 400 other people standing in that aisle and I just wanted to get out of there so for $12.95 he got a cowboy outfit. Then David decided he wanted to be a cowboy in a fake plastic outfit too, well do you think they have another cowboy outfit? NO! So the fight was on with David he began throwing a fit. I told him he picked a damn vampire and that was what he was going to be because they didn't have a cowboy outfit; we had already been standing there for about an hour at that point, and still didn't have anything for Colton. I turned to Colton and said "Honey what are you gonna be? Have you found anything yet?" his reply has made him my favorite child, "I don't want to be anything. Halloween is stupid." People get on his nerves as badly as they do mine, and no one was letting him look they kept pushing him out of the way, and we was finding nothing. So this morning while his brothers are at school I believe I will take him to Kmart, and see what he can find there. One of the other moms fighting her way through the crowd with her kids told me they had a better selection there anyway, and they were on sale. That way it will be just him and I and he can look and find something he wants to be, without everyone pushing him out of the way.

Winter

When does winter officially start? Well in Wyoming the traditional Dec. 21 date is null and void. Winter is here. We are getting snow mixed in with the rain this morning, so it is time for the hats, boots, and coats to come out of hiding. Actually I have seen snow in the summer here, it doesn't happen often, but every once in awhile mother nature will throw us a curve. I love the snow and cold. I am not much of a warm weather person at all, but the last few years I have noticed I can predict the weather with the aches and pains in my body. I was blessed with arthritis in my hands, feet, and knees, have had it since I was young, and they took my vioxx off the market, something about heart attacks. Anyway where was I going with this post? Oh yes winter and clothing. So snow, wet cold, hats, boots, and coats, ah yes. This morning David decided that he hates his coat, and really I don't blame him it is a big bulky coat and he looks kind of like the little brother on A Christmas Story, you know when he is all bundled up and can barley move. Then he has out grown his boots and we can't find Cam's boots. David flat refused to go to school if he had to wear "that coat". I will probably get turned in for child neglect today, because I allowed him to wear a jacket and a sweatshirt, it was so much easier than fighting with him over it. So it looks like we are off tonight to purchase new boots and coats for them, I am just glad it is Friday and we can sleep in tomorrow.

The Debate

I was impressed with our commander and chief last night. He was articulate and well spoken, and managed to keep Kerry on the defensive. I wish he had done as well in the other 2 debates. I think he showed the country that he really does know how to speak in front of a crowd. I thought there were some good questions, and good answers. I appreciate that Kerry did not bring up his "service" and he also reminded the country what a wonderful job Bush did after 911. I thought that Kerry sunk to a new low when he threw Cheney's lesbian daughter into the debate, when they were on the same sex marriage issues, and never really got weather he was for or against it. I thought Bush really got across his reasons for not supporting same sex marriages better than he ever has. I thought Kerry's idealism really stood out when he discussed the ban on automatic weapons, and said that it kept the weapons out of the hands of drug dealers, therefore keeping our police officers safer. What world does he live in? I am sure the criminals were not acquiring any guns the legal way in the first place so it didn't keep anything away from the bad guys. Bush did well when he state that Kerry voted 98 times against cutting taxes. He also did well bring up the recent elections in Afghanistan, and the first voter there was a 19 year old woman. I think that he could have defended himself better against the acquisition of "not caring about Osama Bin laden" Bush did say that, but not in the context Kerry put it. Over all I was glad I watched the debate, I have not been able to watch them, because just looking at John Kerry upsets me so much. I am hopeful that Bush will win this election, I just wish more people could see that John Kerry is a traitor to this country for the way he did things during the Vietnam War. During World War II he would have been treated as a communist, blacklisted and possible tried for his treason, and now we just let him serve as a senator and run for president.

Yesterday was busy.

I got up earlier so I could get ready to go to school with the boys. We were actually on time for once, I am always running late in the mornings. We have preschool in our public school, and it is free, but the child attending must have an adult family member do 2 hours of volunteer time a week. So I went to do my time, and I wanted to sit in with David's reading teacher when she had him. He is finally starting to understand reading, which is good. He is still not doing that well in the classroom, there are far to many distractions for him in there. The reading teacher has him all alone so he pays a lot more attention, but he still won't say "I just don't understand this." I was really impressed with Claire, the reading teacher, she does a really good job with them. She teaches him pretty much the same way I do at home, so at least we are on the same page with him, and he is getting it now and that is what is important. He said he liked it when I went to reading with him, and that made me feel really good. Then Cameron decided to he would stay for lunch so I went back to the parent room to finish up some work in there. I had to make some copies so I headed out to the teachers lounge where the copier is, and there is Cam walking down the hall with Davids teacher, and I hear him say "I can't find my mom." So I got him, and took him with me to make my copies and put some things in teachers mail boxes, then he helped me gather up all my work and take it back to the classroom, and he said "I am so glad you found me mom, I thought you didn't want me anymore and left me forever." to which I told him "I will never not want my Cameron. I love you so much." as I choked back tears and grabbed him up into my arms. Kids can break you with a few words, but he made it all better when he wrapped his little arms around my neck and said "I love you so much mom."
So we came home and Steve was here with Colton. We ended up pulling all the tomato plants out front and tilling up that patch of ground so it will be ready next year. Steve and Cam took all the bags of grass from mowing and all my tomato plants to the dump, and Colton, Jake and I went to get David. We got him home fed him some corndogs and dressed him for hockey practice and out the door we all went minus the dog. They will be picking teams on Sunday, and getting things rolling for the real year. David is ready for real practice. He told me he is getting bored with all the "baby stuff". They have about 15 kids who are just learning to skate, so they try to get them steady on their feet before they divide them up into teams.
At this age in hockey when they put them on teams they try to divide the kids who know how to play and the ones who don't so they get all the teams equal in ability. We have a new team rep this year and she has been so great already. I wish we had her last year because there were so many things I missed last year from an unorganized rep. I think that is why she is so organized, because she felt the same way as a first time hockey mom. After hockey we rushed home, did homework, ate dinner and went to bed.

Tired oh so tired.

The crud seems to be lingering at my house. We were all feeling better for a couple of days, and now we all have sore throats and plugged up heads again. I sent the boys to school anyway today, they were not running fevers, and they needed to get out of the house. Last night the boys got to watch Jaws. I hadn't seen that movie in a long time, but I remember when it came out. The boys were thoroughly impressed with the great white, and Colton now thinks we should own one, and David decided that we should never go back in the water again not even at the lake. Cam told D "it's just a movie David. That shark isn't even real, and we don't have sharks in our lake anyway." I am always amazed by his little mind it works so much like a grown up mind sometimes. Hope you all had a great weekend.

Oh yeah this is about how I feel!

Tim McGraw
Back When

Don't you remember
The fizz in a pepper
Peanuts in a bottle
At ten, two and four
A fried bologna sandwich
With mayo and tomato
Sittin' round the table
Don't happen much anymore

We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

I love my records
Black, shiny vinyl
Clicks and pops
And white noise
Man they sounded fine
I had my favorite stations
The ones that played them all
Country, soul and rock-and-roll
What happened to those times?

I'm readin' Street Slang For Dummies
Cause they put pop in my country
I want more for my money
The way it was back then

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

Give me a flat top for strumming
I want the whole world to be humming
Just keep it coming
The way it was back then

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

Is it cold season already?

I have a flipping cold. I woke up yesterday thinking it was allergies, but today my head is completely plugged up and the baby is too. We could have allergies, but my bet would be a cold somehow found it's way into my house and hid itself in my body, but I am a good mom I share with the boys.

Yesterday David decided that he needed to go through his tackle box, so we did. When he dad got home he had to tell his dad about it. It went something like
"Dad I got some walleye hook."
"Wow that is cool bud."
"I even have 3 hookers and if I had $50 I could get a lot more hookers."
Well Steve and I were about on the floor laughing and then Steve being the good father that he is can't help himself and he says "Oh it would probably depend on which Conner you found them on." to which David replies, "If I got them at walmart I could get a lot of 'em huh dad."
By this time I was laughing so hard my side hurt, and I had to leave the room so I didn't hurt his feeling laughing at him. Then I hear Cam tell his dad, "Can you buy me some hookers too dad?"
Steve said to them "You guys are a little young for hookers aren't you?"
David, "No we are really careful dad, because if you get them stuck in your hand it really hurts."
Then they changed the subject to getting a boat. Kids are just to funny especially when they don't try to be.

A New Hurricane

The National Weather Service has issued a warning for yet another
catastrophic hurricane following on the heels of Charley, Ivan and
Jeanne.
The path of this hurricane zigs and zags, and is therefore highly
unpredictable.
Experts predict that this one will cause the most damage to the United
States that we have experienced in four years.
They are naming this one Hurricane Kerry.
Be advised, the only way for citizens to protect themselves is by hiding
behind a Bush.


This one was for the
Trashman. I know he will enjoy it!

This is funny

For those of you that have not seen Jesse's post over at Big Daddy James American Blogger you really should check it out. It is just funny people!

here's a link go ahead and click on it.

Mom meet Jim

"Mom this is Jim." the baby says to me. I am thinking ok he has an imaginary friend isn't that cute. So being the idiot that I am I pretend to shake hands with Jim. The baby looks at me like I have lost my mind. I am dumbfound at this point, then the lovely little child hold up a tiny piece of plastic and state in all seriousness "This is Jim right here mom can he come to school with us?"
"Why sure honey." I try to hold back the giggles.
"Come on Jim mom says you can go with us."
So the 6 of us, including Jim and the dog, get in the van and off to school we go. We get home and I ask "what happened to Jim?"
"He decided he wanted to stay at the park so I threw him out the window. It's ok because I have real friends anyway."
I have decided that I am not to sure if I want to be friends with the baby you never know when he will throw me out the window!

Hockey was good

Well we got off to hockey and David skated very well. He is one of the older kids this year, next year he will move up an age group. Cam has decided he wants to play, but I don't know if I will let him play this year or wait until next year. He has to understand if I am going to dole out that kind of cash he has to finish the whole season. So I may see if I can get him on the ice once to see if he likes it and if he doesn't then I won't sign him up, but if he does then I will. I will talk to the coach tomorrow and see if we can do that. I am sure he will want to play once he is out there, but I don't want to throw away a hundred bucks either. Colton wants to play and there is no doubt that he would finish the season, but he is still to young, you have to be 4 and he is only 3.
On another note the Vice President is coming home. He will be here for a big fund raiser, of which I won't be attending as I don't know who would pay $1000 to look at Dick. For those of you that didn't know Mr. Cheney and his wife are from Casper, where they raised 2 daughters one of which is a lesbian, ironic isn't it. I won't be going anywhere the day he is here as they will have the whole town staked out, like they did in July when he and Lynne came home for their class reunion, costing tax payers a lot more money than they will make from the little fund raiser.

Hockey

Yes while all of you are sad that there has been no hockey, I am preparing to watch my oldest get back on the ice. Tonight is the first night back for my little hockey player. He was so excited last night that he could hardly sleep. He just kept telling everyone who would listen, "I have hockey tomorrow" He had to call his grandparents and tell them, and when dad got home from work he had to tell him. He informed me this morning that I should have all his gear out and ready when he gets home from school. I should have gotten his skates sharpened, but I forgot! So he will have to skate on dull edges tonight and then I will leave them at the rink for sharpening. He actually needs new skates. Me and mom were going to go to Denver this year, but we never made it so I guess my web search for skates is back on! Cam decided that he didn't want to play hockey, but Colton wants to, he has to be 4 before he can play so next year he will get to. Well I am off to do some laundry and make sure all his gear is in his bag!

I don't wanna go to school.

I heard this from both of my boys this morning. David is getting to the point he would rather stay home everyday. Cam usually likes school, but this morning he didn't want to go, and then once we got there he didn't want to get out of the van. It is always hard to leave them when they are like that. I got a note from D's teacher that said he is very unfocused and isn't getting his work done. I have yet to go by his class where there isn't total chaos going on in there, so of course he is unfocused. David needs a structured environment to learn in. You can't have all the distractions or he isn't going to get stuff finished. In my day we went to school we sat in our desks quietly and the teacher taught us. I go to the boys school and look in Davids class. There are 20 kids running around and lots of noise, and she says he is unfocused. I would be unfocused too! What happened to structure? What happened to sit and learn? I am sure that some kids do fine in an unruly, loud, classroom, but I know mine won't. He needs quiet learning time. He goes to the reading teacher now, and he went from not reading at all to reading level 3 books in a 2 week time, she offers structure in her room. It is quiet and he can think about what she is telling him. There are to many distraction in the classroom for him, and I am sure that he isn't the only one. I would be the same way if you put me in a room with 20 kids and all kinds of stuff going on I am not going to finish something I don't find interesting when someone across the room is doing something I would rather be doing. I think there is a time and a place for fun even in the classroom, but there is a time for learning, that is what I send my children to school for, to learn. It is the teachers job to make sure they accomplish this, it is their job to make sure that each child leaves their class with the knowledge they need to move on. So now I have to go in and tell this teacher that it is her fault that he isn't focused. I have to go in and tell her that she and the school district are the ones that are failing, not my child. I find this distressing, I find it distressing that she sends notes saying he is unfocused, and doesn't take the time to get his attention. I know she has 20 kids in her room, but I think that if they put a stop to all the chaos and noise these kids would actually be accomplishing something and learning. I will have to go in and talk to her before I make a judgment call, but if I were a teacher I would see it as a personal failure if one child left my class not understanding everything I was in charge of teaching them. I don't want him to hate school, but I am not sending him there to play games and make noise I am sending him there to learn, and if they can't teach him then I will have to do something else. I don't know what that will be at this point, but I will figure it out.

UPDATE:
Just got a call from D's teacher. She is going to work more with him on a one on one basis and he is going to keep going to his reading class. We will see where he is at the end of this quarter. I don't know what to do with him. She said he is always well behaved and there is never a struggle with him like I have with him, but he is just not caughting on. She did says he works better in a small group or one on one, but I know she can't devote all her attention to him, I don't know what to do for him.

This is Jake.

Jake is a diabetic. He requires 2 shots of insulin a day. He is my baby really. He sleeps with me and goes with me to take the boys to school and pick them up. He understands me more than anyone, and sometimes I feel like he is the only one in the world who really loves me just because I am me. He knows that sometimes I will forget to feed him, so he will bring me his dish set it at my feet and look at me. He knows that at 10 am and 10 pm he has to eat and have a shot, and he knows that he has to help remind me that it is time. He doesn't hold it against me that I forget, he doesn't get mad at me when I look at him and say "you are such a pain!" He just looks at me with nothing but love in his eyes and if I could read his mind he would probably be saying "I know mom, but you love me, and I love you so lets just feed little dog his dinner!" He has had a bad knee from falling down the stairs when he was about a year old, it was slick on the stairs and he twisted it pretty good, and now with age he has developed some arthritis and can't get down the back stairs hardly at all, they scare him because he stumbles and falls down them now. So I take him out the front door around to the gate and let him in the back yard when he wants to go outside, and I go and get him when he is ready to come back in. He is spoiled rotten, the other 2 are almost as spoiled, but not quite as much as Jakeie dog. When you tell him "I love you" he has to kiss you, and he thinks that he can sit in your lap while your driving. He weights 92 lbs so he isn't exactly holdable. He loves the boys and he loves Steve. He will get up in the morning and visit with Steve and then he jumps back in bed with me, he loves Steves spot in the bed, really he would be perfectly happy if Steve would just stay out of the bed. He gets up and puts his head on Steves pillow and then he throws his leg over me and that is how we stay until it is time to get up.
Man I love him and I know he loves me.

Pirates of the Mississippi
Feed Jake

I'm standing at the crossroads in life, and I don't know where to go.
You know you've got my heart babe, but my music's got my soul.
Let me play it one more time, I'll tell the truth and make it rhyme,
And hope they understand me.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake, feed Jake, he's been a good dog,
My best friend right through it all, if I die before I wake,
Feed Jake

Now Broadway's like a sewer, bums and hookers everywhere.
Whino's passed out on the side walk, doesn't anybody care.
Some say he's worthless, just let him be.
But I for one would have to disagree.
And so would their mama.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake, feed Jake, he's been a good dog,
My best friend right through it all, if I die before I wake,
Feed Jake

If you get an ear pierced, some will call you gay.
But if you drive a pick-up, they'll say 'No, he must be straight.'
What we are and what we ain't, what we can and what we can't,
Does it really matter?

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake, feed Jake, he's been a good dog,
My best friend right through it all, if I die before I wake,
Feed Jake
If I die before I wake, feed Jake