Wednesday, March 30, 2005

What? I can't hear out of that ear.

Blood Pressure 124/70
Heart rate good and steady
blood drawn and UA done sent to the lab for farther investigation
couldn't breath in the thing because of stupid chest cold that feels more like pneumonia
Hearing in the right ear is excellent
Hearing in the left ear is good in the high in and low end, but in the middle I can't hear nothing! The high end and low end really don't matter it is the middle where all the things you need to hear are at, things like people talking to you and that kind of thing. Oh I can hear a fire truck coming from 10 miles away, but if your standing on my left side talking to me I probably won't know your talking to me so please people stand in front of me or on my right side and speak up!

If you couldn't tell I had my yearly physical thing today, well I had the lab work and screenings, the Doctor wasn't in to do the rest of the crap so I have to go back so he can tell me to lose weight and quit smoking. I already know that is coming I hear it every time I set foot into a doctors office, "your lungs sound really good, but if you quit smoking now you won't get all those horrible things you die of when your a smoker." When in my mind, not my left ear, I hear you have the lungs of a non smoker that is great I couldn't even tell you were a smoker keep right on smoking because your lucky and it isn't effecting you yet and I nod and smile and when I get into the car to go home I light up, because I have the lungs of a non smoker. Althought this is the 3rd time this year I have gotten the chest cold crap and my allgeries get worse every year especially in my chest making spring the worst time of year for breathing. Maybe I will quit I know I should, but I just don't have the desire yet. I enjoy ever cigarette I light. Then there is the weight thing well lets face it I am just lazy and honestly the only time you should run is when something big and scary is chasing you. I tried the whole running thing oh sure I lost weight, but was it worth the sore ankle, the painful knees, the leg cramps that wake you up screaming in the middle of the night. I don't freaking think so and the thought of giving up chocolate again is frightening there is nothing worse than PMSing and not having chocolate it's like a drug a really really good drug that leads to happy happy thoughts! Chocolate should be on the food pyramid thing right at the top above fruits and veggies and you should have to eat 5 servings a day, everyone would be happier and the world would be a better place.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Children and Art

"Let's go into the sculpture gallery" the well dressed lady leading the group of pre schooler's said.

The children all in the most perfect single file line proceeded quietly behind her. She stopped in front of this mesh type contraption arranged on the floor.

"What does this remind you of?" she stated excitedly. That is when I knew I should grab Colton and wait in the car for Cam's class to finish up the tour. All was silent as these 3, 4, and barley 5 year olds studied the mass of "art" before them.

and that was the start Colton found his voice "It's junk." he says as loud as he could creating a echo for the rest of the gallery to here. The lady tried to ignore him but anyone who knows Colton understands that once he says something everyone will listen, and she went on to ask "does it remind you of a river?" "NO" states Colton. Well I was laughing so hard I couldn't even make my way to the front of the line to get him. A few children said yeah it kind of looked like a river, and she just kept on question them "What do you think these look like?" she said pointing to holes in the "art", and my logical little man say "They are holes." "Yeah they are holes she said, but if it was a river what would they look like?" "It's not a river it's junk." Well the thing was suppose to look like a river and the holes were suppose to look like rocks in the river. Then she asked "Would you put this in your house?" "No way" said Colton. I don't think he was very impressed with the "Art" and to be perfectly honest I hope the artist has a day job because I am not really sure myself who would want a big mesh river in their living room. I was just glad when the tour was over and we got to move on to the discovery zone. Colton got to finger paint and create some real art, the kind I love putting in my living room!

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Nanny 911

I was clicking channels on the TV, something I very seldom get a chance to do as the kids seem to always be in control of the remote. Well I come across this show Nanny 911, anyone seem this?

First off it made me very thankful for the children I have. My kids get a little rowdy, they are rough and tumble boys, and sometimes it gets to wild in my house, which creates a me having to yell above their noise to get attention. Here is the deal once I have their attention they listen, they do what they are suppose to do. These kids on this show are over the edge wild and don't seem to listen to their parents at all. The lady was actually encouraging her 3 year old son to pee outside in the street. I was as shocked about that as the old bitty, I mean the nanny.

Ok that was about as far as I can go with agreeing. Apparently the mom, dad, and 3 kids all slept in the same bed. The nanny put a stop to that, which I can see her point to an extent. It is hard to sleep when there are 5 people in one bed. I have ended up moving to the bottom bunk of the boys' room many times, but the nanny acted like it was some crime for children to climb into bed with their parents. Children that young have nightmares or they get sick and they want to be close to their mom. What is unhealthy about that? As a mom I have climbed into bed with my kids more than once because they were sick, and it was the best way for all of us to get some rest. If one of them has the croup you can beat I am right next to them with my hand on their little chest making sure each breath is just right. So moving on the mom jumped onto the top bunk and was going to read the oldest a story the nanny had a fit telling the mom and dad just how "unhealthy" it is for a mom to do that. That is when I wanted a sit down with the nanny. The mom was fully dressed, the kids had PJ's on there was nothing sick or sexual or strange about it. She was just a mom wanting her child to know that she loved him. Most nights I prop the pillows up in the boys' bed the four of us snuggle in and we read a book together, then we talk awhile and I squeeze them a lot before I leave them to get their nights rest. I see nothing strange or unhealthy about loving my boys and wanting them to be aware of the fact that I love them. I see nothing "unhealthy" about reading to your kids either. The only thing I see as "unhealthy" is the fact that the nanny wanted a mother to let go of her babies, in a world where children already have to grow up to fast.

and just for the record if I am ever in the state that Terry Schiavo is in I do not want to be kept alive. I told David that tonight while we were watching the news together and he promised me that he would let me die, althought he did say "Well I won't shoot ya or anything, but I'll let the Drs. do it."

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Your getting sleeeeeepy

Watch the swaying of the clock and listen to my voice, I am going to take you back way back in the past relax and close your eye. You only here the sound of my voice. Now let your mind take you back, a little farther, no still farther, no no stop oh you missed it!

The mid 80's, you remember them? Well I tried for years to forget, but then Heather goes and brings it all up again. I would have been about 11 just little girl. My best friend Trisha and I were always hanging out together, and she had an older sister who would let us borrow her records (that is old people talk for CD's kiddies). I remember the first time I heard Frankie goes to Hollywood with the Relax don't do it... they were awesome cool. Culture Club, with that girl singer who sounded like a guy, imagain my surprise. Cindy Lauper with her funky clothes and hair. Wham, that guy still has a nice ass even if he does play with the boys. She had them all and we would spend hours listening to them, and then one day she gives us Duran Duran. Oh how I feel head over heals in love with John Taylor from that moment on I couldn't get enough. I saved my money and bought every album, every magaizine, and every poster I could get my hands on. I had buttons on my jacket, tee shirts with his picture, and my bedroom was a shrine to Duran Duran, mostly John Taylor. Oh how beautiful he was gazing down on me as I looked loving up into is eyes. There was not a place on my walls or ceiling or door that wasn't graced by his presents. My love for him grew, but I had no where else to place his pictures so I started scrapbooking them, lay off I was only about 12 at that point. Then it happened the words moving into a new house well everything was going well I took down my shrine, I would have a bigger room with more space to put up more poster of the love of my preteen years. It wasn't so bad until my dad walked in and discovered that I had used thumb tacks to install every one of the pictures. Well damn straight I did I wasn't going to risk tape ripping them if they ever had to come down, and besides I didn't want to put any wholes in the pictures so I secured them with the plastic edge instead of stabbing them right through my beloved John. Needless to say 3 years of pinning up posters with thumb tacks makes quite a few tiny wholes in the walls of a rented house. Did I say quite a few, ok thousands of tiny wholes. Dad came unhinged and wanted to know why the hell I could do something so stupid, then he wanted to know why mom would let me do something so stupid. Then he felt bad for calling us stupid told me I was never allowed to touch thumb tacks as long as I lived with him and painted the bedroom. Over that summer Trisha moved to Colorado Springs with her family we wrote for many years, but I never saw her again. My love for Duran Duran and John Taylor faded as I grew older and was introducted to new bands like Nikki Sixx, I mean Motley Crue, yeah I had lots of posters of Nikki too, but I had to tape them up. After Heather meantioned Duran Duran I had to do a web search to see if John was still as hot, so Heather tell your mom he does not look like a nerd he is one sexy man!

Things that baffle me

Well I did this post and it got lost in bloggie land somewhere and all of a sudden it showed up out of no where. That has to be the new number 1 on my list of baffling things.

1. Low flow toilets. These damn things are suppose to save water, but on square of toilet paper has to be flushed 14 times before it disappears how is that saving water?

2. Laundry. The more I wash the more it seems to pile up in laundry baskets, on the floor in conners, on beds. Where does it all come from?

3. Dish. Same reason as laundry.

4. Peanut Butter. How can something that is suppose to be good for you be so fattening?

5. Men. need I say more?

6. The way the city chooses to fix streets in my town. The same ones are always under construction and the ones that need fixed are never fixed.

7. the whole spongebob is gay debate. What the hell is up with that? It is a freaking cartoon isn't there better things to be worried about?

8. The price of coffee. It just keeps going up and going up but why it isn't like the workers in 3rd world nations are actually seeing any of the profit I mean they work for like 3 cents an hour so why am I paying so much?

Well that's all I have right now. As you can tell there is absoultly nothing going on that I feel like writing about at this time. Happy St. Patty's Day everyone.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Another season comes to an end.

Yes David's hockey season is officially over. Last week we had his awards night, and now we have more pucks and trophies that I need to find a place for. He likes to display them for the world to see. He got a trophy for the season, they give every child who plays hockey one, and then he got his first goal puck and his hat trick puck, a USA hockey hat trick patch that I now have to find a "hockey jacket" for him to put it on, and an outstanding sportsmanship award. Now we are doing spring 3 on 3 hockey through our ice rink. He likes playing the 3 on 3 because it is more like having a game everytime you play.

I was discussing sports with one of my very good friends today, and discovered that there is nothing better than watching a group of kids play something they love to play. At David's age they really are not that interested in winning or losing, sure they love it when they win, but the one thing they really care about is playing, and having a great time. They quickly lose their innocents and winning becomes what is important after awhile, but right now watching them get out there and play for the sake of playing is awesome. I will miss watching hockey over the summer. I will miss cheering when David makes a goal, and I will miss when he comes off the ice saying "Did you see that goal mom it was awesome. I smacked that baby right in the net." or even the days when he didn't get a goal and says "man that was a fun game." These days won't last long, pretty soon it will be all about winning, but I am going to treasure these moments and remind him that once he played just because he loved the game win or lose.

Friday, March 11, 2005

It had been a very sad week.

I remember Sarah as a cute little girl, who was always smiling and happy. Her and her family sat with us at our AFHL hockey games, both their family and ours held season tickets. She must of been 8 or 9 back then. I have not seen that family in years, but I would read things in the paper about Sarah's fight to wrestle with the boys, not that kind of wrestling people! She was the first girl to become All American in Wyoming. Then Monday I log on to my homepage to read about her once more. She was 23 years old, just a baby, who went off to college to make something out of her life.

The sadness doesn't end there. One of my favorite singers
Chirs Ledoux passed away wednesday.

On the lighter side of things:

I went in all last week and helpped David with his reading. He said he likes me to help him. He wants me to always go to school with him. I am having to take Colton to Kid's works, and it is costing an arm and a leg to have him there, but I don't have anyone else that can watch him.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Ear infection, lost data, and the stomach flu!

Well we just returned from the Dr. Cam has double ear infections. He gets them quite often so I may have to get an appt. with the ears, nose, and throat Dr. to see what can be done for that. This morning I woke up with stomach cramps that would rival labor pains, not those beginning labor pains, no the ones you get just before the baby's head starts popping out, you know the ones you feel over your entire body. I thought I might be dyeing and then the throwing up and all the other stuff you do on the toilet started. That is when I started wishing I would die! I hope the boys don't get this stomach bug, because it comes with a headache and body aches, and lots of bathroom time.

On a happier side note I managed to lose everything on the computer this weekend. I was having a phaser error something on line something for about a week, and I tried every fix on ever message board to no avail, and then ran across about 1000 messages that the only way to fix it was a reformat and a reinstall of XP. So I did a quick backup of all my important stuff, address book, favorites, saved email with all my passwords, that kind of thing. I wasn't really worried I had my backup and I would be able to retrieve everything just fine. Well I got everything back up and running, hard drive all cleaned up, and slide in the back up CD. That is when I wanted to cry I got this nice little message "corrupt disk" so I lost it all after all. So I have not addresses, I can't write to anyone, but my mom because she is the only person I have memorized! If you actually like hearing from me every now and then send me an email so I can put you back in my address book!
We are off to pick up Cameron's meds for his ear. I forgot my purse so we had to come back for it.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Things about me you may not want to know

1. I am unorganize to a fault. I have great plans of getting organized and putting everything in it's place and half way through something else comes up and I forget all about getting organized.

2. I hate people telling me what to do, but I am really good at telling other people what they should do.

3. I have not kept in touch with any of my high school friends, not one of them. Most of my grown up friends are online and I have never met them.

4. I suffer from anxiety attacks sometimes and manic depression, but I think that I can control it on my own and I don't need to take medication for it. I try not to use it as an excuse for a lot of the things in my life, but it probably is. Examples: my unorganizedness, my weight, my credit, and the list could go on. I am responsible for it all and choose not to have the label placed on me and instead just say I make some really bad choices sometimes, but I am working on it. If you met me face to face and spent an hour or 2 with me even when I am at my lowest point you would never know I suffer from depression, because over time you learn to put on that happy smile and pretend the world is great even if you sometimes think it would be better off without you.

5. I don't believe in God. I don't believe in the Easter Bunny or Santa either, but I believe that everyone is entitled to their own beliefs and I am always thankful that there are people out there who pray for me and my boys.

6. I let my kids rule me instead of ruling them.

7. I am really good at keeping my calm when someone pisses me off, but plotting my revenge while smiling to their face.

8. I don't think that ADD/ADHD is a true medical condition. I think it was made up to lump kids who just don't get it or in some cases over hyper, into a group because they felt they had to do something with them and that was the best they could come up with without really putting a lot of time and money into researching it.

9. I am terrified of being alone.

10. I watch to many crime show like cold case files and forensics file and sometimes I have to put all of the boys in bed with me when Steve is gone, because I am scared that some psychopath is going to sneak in and kill us all. I am still not sure how having the boys in with me is going to stop that, but I am sure if it came down to him or us I could take him!

Ok enough of my weirdness I just didn't have much to post. I have been drowning and I keep struggling to make it back to the surface, but just can't seem to get there yet. I can still see the light reflecting off the top of the water so I have not gone completely to the bottom yet, and hopefully I don't make it that far under.

I had a meeting with David's teacher today. I have struggled with the whole issue and I just can't have a Dr. Diagnosis him with something that I don't believe exists. So I am going to start going in every day for half an hour to an hour and I will teach my baby how to read. My biggest though is that things need to go back to the way they were 20 years ago when all the children were working on the same thing as everyone else and one teacher wasn't trying to teach 4 different groups of children 4 different subjects. Something is wrong in the thinking, but I suppose we can't live in the past and what they think is progress today will be scoffed at tomorrow. So I leave you with this cause it pretty will sums it up I guess.

The times they are a Changin'
Bob Dylan

Come gather 'round people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You'll be drenched to the bone.
If your time to you
Is worth savin'
Then you better start swimmin'
Or you'll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come writers and critics
Who prophesize with your pen
And keep your eyes wide
The chance won't come again
And don't speak too soon
For the wheels still in spin
And there's no tellin' who
That it's namin'.
For the loser now
Will be later to win
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come senators, congressmen
Please heed the call
Don't stand in the doorway
Don't block up the hall
For he that gets hurt
Will be he who has stalled
There's a battle outside
And it is ragin'.
It'll soon shake your windows
And rattle your walls
For the times they are a-changin'.

Come mothers and fathers
Throughout the land
And don't criticize
What you can't understand
Your sons and your daughters
Are beyond your command
Your old road is
Rapidly agin'.
Please get out of the new one
If you can't lend your hand
For the times they are a-changin'.

The line it is drawn
The curse it is cast
The slow one now
Will later be fast
As the present now
Will later be past
The order is
Rapidly fadin'.
And the first one now
Will later be last
For the times they are a-changin'.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

It may all fall apart around me.

Well it may have started with a day, but I think it will turn into one of those years! The pump went out on the wash machine half way through a load of clothes. Then while I was down trying to fix the washer I noticed that the hot water heater is leaking and making a lovely sizzling with every drip as it hits the pilot light! Now the computer is making an annoying noise coming from the fan motor, and I am not even attempting to fix it nothing good can come from that at this point, and as if things couldn’t get worse I had the meeting with David’s school today.

I met with the Occupational Therapist first and she had some visual motor control issues when she did her realm of testing. He is having some tracking things going on and she said it is almost like he is looking out of one eye and then the other and they don’t work together. I don’t really find that strange in the least as I, myself, have never had eyes that focus together, it only creates problems for me when I am watching a 3D movie or trying to do one of those poster that were so popular back in the 90’s, you know the ones that are suppose to become something if you stare at them long enough, never have been able to figure those out. So I need to take him to the eye Dr. specialist guy for that, and of course our insurance doesn’t cover that particular eye Dr. at least on the eye coverage, I may luck out and get it under medical. The bottom line of her tests were that David is average or low average and does not qualify for any special treatment from her. She was really a nice lady though, and gave David a pencil gripper and a neat little book marker that has a color strip on it and said to try other things like that to see if they help.

Then we get to the meat of the whole realm of tests that they put D through, and guess what he is to smart for their programs, but yet he isn’t keeping up with his class. The psychologist, a very nice man, said that if I get a Dr. to label him ADD that they can get him into some of the special medical needs programs they have going on. He did say I did not have to have him on any medication to qualify just have the diagnosis. Pretty much I could take my pick of any mental conditions really, but the bottom line is that if they can’t get the funding to put him into any of these programs then he can’t go to them and the only way for them to get the funding is from him to have a made up medical condition that they lump children into when there isn’t any other answer. They didn’t tell me that in so many words really, but I am smart enough to get to the bottom line all on my own.

I feel like I am left with two choices I either get him diagnosised with ADD so he can get the special attention he needs, the one on one stuff that he isn’t getting in class or do nothing and he struggles through the rest of his academic career. Basically I am no closer to an answer than I was before. I will keep reading some of the studies I have looked up on this box to see where other parents have turned. I have found some very interesting articles to ponder.

Oh and my little D scored a 100% on his math assessment today. He excels in math and hockey!