Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Kids are funny

The other day I was sitting in the living room flicking channels when Colton and his little girlfriend from up the street, who's also 5, came in. They stopped and talked to me for a minute, and as they were getting ready to leave she looked at the TV. I don't know what the show even was I stopped mid click when they came in to talk to them, but there was this teenage couple and he leaned in and kissed the girl.

"OH GROSS" little girl up the street says.

I am thinking she is grossed out because they are kissing and then...

"He has glasses! She kissed a boy with glasses."

I am not to sure I want Colton to be playing with her anymore!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I want to live!

That is the sickest I have ever been in my entire life! I went back to the dr. today and he said I need another round of antibodies, but I am on the mend. He had all the paperwork ready to admit me to the hospital today to take my tonsils out when I went in, but they are returning to there normal size now. My white cell count was still much higher than normal, but it has come down a lot. Thankfully I am not going to die, however last week I really didn't care if I lived or not. I just had a really bad strep infection that went into all the glands.

My granny is feeling much better, and they are getting her all fixed and better for the time being. It will be just a wait and see game, but she is getting up on her own now and walking. The confussion isn't happening as much now either. I am so thankful and hope that everything they are doing for her will fix her up.

The boys are already board and we are not even into summer break yet. I don't know what I will do with them all summer.

Steve goes back to work tomorrow, some vacation he had.

The dogs both still need a bath, they are filthy from camping.

Being sick really sucks!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

I'm stable

I don't think I have ever been as sick as I have this week in my entire life. I am able to sit here now without falling out of the chair. Yesterday I couldn't even do that. So after 3 trips to the dr. and 3 different antibodies we finally got some that work! But wait lets go back to the beginning. Steve is on vacation this week, which was actually a good thing for the boys, so monday we are all packed up and ready for a camping trip. We go up the mountain set up camp, and have a lovely evening of roasting marshmallows and making smores. Finally we get 5 people and 2 big dogs settle into a tent that is barely big enough for just the 5 people and I lay there wishing I hadn't closed up the windows because it is sauna hot in there. I drifted off several time only to be awakened again but the shifting of a dog either across my leg or the one fighting for more matteress, then finally blessed sunrise! There is nothing like sunrise when your camping, because really you can't get up before the sun... you can see shit anyway. I got up a little sore and a whole lot stiff, and both dogs followed me out of that little sauna. Poor little Jakie dog was so stoved up he could hardly move. So I made my coffee as every made their way out of the tent. I told Steve that Jake needed to go home, because really I could have made it another night..., but thankfully Jake couldn't. I wouldn't know what a right choice that was until I got home. Steve and the boys all agreed that camping one night was all they wanted to do as well! We loaded up and came home. David drove for about 3 miles and he did a great job! I had been promising him I would take him out and work on his driving for the last 3 months. So anyway the boys stop to go shoot their guns, and I just decide to come home, because Buddy dogs would have pissed all over himself if he has seen the guns.

So I get home take my shower check myself for ticks, and start unloading the van. By the time the boys get home, which was a little over an hours later, I am feeling over tired and everything hurts. I am tough though so I make dinner eat about a fourth of mine and tell Steve I think I am getting sick, because by now I have a sore throat and am running a fever. Well as the night progressed my 2 already large tonsils merged into on huge tonsil making it impossible for me to breath or swallow or talk. I then went to bed and slept from 8 o'clock until the next morning at like 11. Steve had gotten me a dr. appointment and I went I don't remember much of the rest of the week really. I laid in bed for most of it. All I know is that friday Steve woke me up and said he was taking me back to the dr. Which was fine with me especially if they planed on giving me a leathial injection. So that is where I left you yesterday with the whole mono thing. About 15 minutes after I wrote that the dr. called back and said my mono test was negitive, but they did a CBC and it was off the charts so I needed to take these pills and the prednisone he had already given me. Steve went to pick up the pills later and they thought he was going to have to drive to my moms house to have it filled. No one in town had them except walmart thankfully, but the guy at walgreens called everyone on the list and my dr. twice to make sure it was this pill I had to have. So anyway I am on my way to recovery now. I am like a normal really sick person today. I have the sore throat, but I can breath and swallow, the achy body, the fever, and just plan ass tiredness. The only good thing to come of this was between wed. and friday I lost 8 lbs... I am sure it's up to about 12 now as I have only eatten about half a cup of soup. I go back to the dr. on tuesday to retest my blood and check me over. Wow that took forever to write. I am going back to lay down now. Goodnight.

Friday, June 16, 2006


I'm sick sick sick... can everyone say MONO... this is twice now and I guess you can keep getting it. I'm back in bed I feel like shit.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Things are looking up

My granny has been really sick for a while now, and they don't really know what is wrong. Right now they are treating her for spurs in her neck at the c4 and c5 levels. They think that is the cause of the pain, weakness and confusion she has been experiencing. They have been through a range of different things it could possibly be the worse being lewys body a rapid advancing form of alzhimers. So far the treatment for her neck seems to be working. Hopefully things will keep improving. I am very close with my granny she has been a very important part of my life. I don't know what we would all do without her in our lives. I know that she won't live forever and I know that a lot of people in their 30's don't have grandparents still around so I have been very blessed to have mine as long as I have, but that doesn't mean I want to let her go anytime soon. We are just taking it one day at a time that is all we can do. Thanks for all the kind comments and the wonderful emails you guys, you know who you are, are the best and I love you!

Thursday, June 08, 2006


I am frustrated and pissed off and heartbroken and life is so unfair on all fronts. I am pissed off because I married someone so selfish and uncaring and hurtful. I am frustrated because doctors have no answers and no cures. I am heartbroken because there is nothing I can do to help. There is never enough time with the ones you love and it isn't fair and I don't know if I should go or stay home and wait for news. I don't want to add unnecessary stress by going. I regret not having a big fight with Steve at Christmas when I wanted to go and chose to shut up and avoid a fight. I reget that I turned off my aol and yahoo messager when Steve was home to avoid a fight about how much time I spend online. I hate that I didn't go up there more. I hate that I am not close enough to be there everyday. I wish I could have 10 more years, just 10 that isn't very long 10 years is so short please just 10 more good years with her.

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Lazy summer days

There are only 3 hours of school left for the boys. I am so excited for the summer to be here. I miss them when they are at school all day. Cam missed friday because he was sick with the same crap David had, but we got him on antibodic and he is feeling much better today.

David and I sat down and had a really long talk about him staying in second grade next year. I was very impressed by him. He talked to me like he was a lot older than 7. I asked him what he thought about the whole idea. He could have moved on to 3rd grade, but I worry so much about him getting farther behind the older he gets. He told me that he wants to go to college and he doesn't want to end up working at McDonalds because he couldn't make it through school. He is very aware of how much he struggles, and very aware that if he wants to do something with his life he has to go to college. I told him that staying in 2nd grade again would be an oppurtunity for him to get ahead, he could use it to master the skills he is struggling with. We talked about it for about 2 hours or more. We talked about his friends moving on and how that kind of hurt his feeling, and he wondered if they would make fun of him. I told him that they might kids are mean like that, and he said they sometimes make fun of him because he has such a hard time reading. I didn't know that, because he never told me. We finished our talk and I told him to think about it and a few hours later he came and said he wanted to stay in 2nd grade. The funny thing about it was that he was so relaxed about the idea, like a weight had been lifed from him. I think it is very important for him to make these decisions on his own. I lay them out on the table and I guide him, but in the end the decision should be his. So he is all set to go back into the same class he was in this year. I am so happy with his decision, and I feel better that I didn't make it for him. I requested the same teachers he had this year, because they were very good. Not one time did I feel uninformed at what was going on with him. They called me, they made time for me anytime I went in and it was just really good to have them.

Cameron is going to first grade and I would like to keep him in Kindergarten, not because he is struggling with anything, just because I am not ready for him to grow up yet! Cam is doing well he left kindergarten reading at level 6, and knows everything he needs to know to go on to first grade. Colton is moving up to kindergarten. Colton is ready to move on. He talked to the kindergarten teacher on friday when we went in and he was very excited and told her that she would have to teach him next year and he was ready to learn.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

fun and sun

I staggered out of bed to find all of the boys up watching TV, and I look at the clock, because the alarm had not gone off yet. I questioned why I was even out of bed until I saw the numbers staring back at me 8:45. What the hell! The boys had track day and we had 5 minutes to get me and 3 boys ready to roll. I ran to the bedroom started grabbing clothes not caring if they even fit much less matched, I threw them at the boys, wet my hair down brushed my teeth yelled at the boys to get their shoes on, and threw water bottles into the cooler. We ran out the door and halled ass to the school.

David's class was just loading on the buses so I told him to run and catch them, and I told Cam to stay in the van with Colton. I ran to the office told them David was on the bus and I would take Cam with me and meet his class at the high school where we always have our track day. I got back in the van and speed to the mini mart grabbed some sandwiches, because I was suppose to make us all lunches and didn't have time. We sped out of the parking lot and raced to the field. I was thinking we were going to be very late, and we pulled up right behind the buses the kids hadn't even unloaded yet. Damn I'm good!

We had a great track day, and we should have taken first in who can get a family of 4 ready in less than 5 minutes!