Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Men can't shop

In a moment of stupidity on my part we actually went to walmart last Saturday. Now I can take 3 small children, and a husband to walmart and be in and out in less than an hour and get everything from shampoo and dog food to milk and bread and everything inbetween. Yes I know I work miracles, but that's another topic. I hate shopping, for groceries, clothes, gifts, if it involves actually going into a store I just don't enjoy it.

My boys know that once we get into the store we will be "power shopping" like power walking with a cart, and there will be no horsing around or mom is going to be bitchy the rest of the day, maybe for 2. So everything is going well, we are knocking little old ladies out of the way to get our wares as quickly as we can. We get pharmacy stuff, grab the toothpaste, get all the stuff we need on that side of the store, we making good time, I'm yelling off items boys are grabbing them and placing them in the basket.

and then we get to the food section. There is a man shopping alone, perhaps he got my female shopping gene, the one that I missed somehow but there seemed to be a lot of joy coming from him about the whole experience, he is freaking taking his sweetass time picking out a gallon of milk, for crying out loud dude it's milk grab one and go. From then on out he made it his goal to place his cart in front of me in every isle. I swear he ran from one place to the next just to get in my way and lollygag in front of me. After a few near death experiences, and the fact that I finally stated very loudly just how stupid people who park their basket in the middle of the isle and take 20 minutes to pick out toilet paper were in my opinion, he finally started moving his cart to the side of the lane and placed his body in front of my basket instead, it took all my strength not to run him down, and really I probably should have any man that gets that much pleasure out of shopping for food should be put out of his misery!

needless to say Colton's new favorite word this week is jackass. I wonder where he got that from?

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