Friday, August 12, 2005

Holy shit, fuck and god damn it!

If you know me then you will inevitably hear these word often in my presents. I never really knew I said them all that often until I had children. The boys know when they can say these words and when they can't. Like when we went to Grand Junction I coached them on not using any fowl language, and then I did a lot of "please don't say it" when I knew something was coming. I was pretty lucky they all held their tongues for the most part. I am not so hopeful with Colton going to school however. How can I expect the boys not to talk like little sailors when both of their parents do? David trips over something and the first thing out of his mouth is god damn it, he learned that from me because I do the same thing. Cam's favorite words are "Oh shit" when he is doing something and it doesn't seem to be working out his way. I am guilty of the same thing. Colton uses them all, but his favorite is dumb ass, he has called each of us a dumb ass at one point or another, and trust me if you do something he finds utterly stupid you will be a dumb ass in his eyes. I say that one a lot especially when we are driving somewhere the world is full of dumb asses! I never thought that David or Cam were dumb asses until the first time I witnessed them piss Colton off and he let go of his vocabulary and made it clear in no uncertain terms that they were being dumb asses! I highly doubt that this will fly in school. I can just hear it now.

"Mrs. Schall can you please come to get Colton."
"Oh shit what did he do now?"
"Well he call little Sara a dumb ass, because she wasn't holding the crayon the right way..."
"OK I'll be right there."

Then in the office the conversation between me, him, and the principle will go something like this.
C "Mom I didn't do anything."
M "Well honey you made Sara sad."
C "Well it was her own dumb ass fault."
P "Colton you can't be mean to people and you can't say those words at school, maybe you should stay home the rest of the week to think about this."
M "He's fucking 4 you think kicking him out of school sets a good example? God damn it this school is just full of dumb asses!" as I grab my baby and storm out the door.

Yeah him going to school scare the holy shit out of me!

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