Thursday, July 21, 2005

Happy Birthday

I am sitting here sadly writing this post. My oldest baby turns 7 today. To him that means he is having a birthday and getting presents and having cake and all the fun stuff that goes with being a child and having a birthday. To me it means he is one step closer to leaving me, and there is nothing I can do to stop the fact that my kids will out grow me. They already need me less and less the older they get, but one day they will only call on me when they need something. They won't want to hang out and play with me, and they won't want to snuggle up on the couch and watch movies with me, and they won't want to go places with me, and, and, and... and then one day they will spread their wings and fly out in this world by themselves, leaving me behind with only memories of the times they were little and mom was their best friend.

I often wonder what I will do then without my children. What did I do before I had kids? All I can remember is them being in my life they are my soul purpose for living. I adjust around their needs, and nothing about me is important, there is no point where they stop and I begin. I will learn to let them go, because that is what a good parent does, they let them go so they can make their way in the world, and with any luck find love, happiness, achieve all their hearts desires. I am just at the starting point of letting go. I still have many skinned knees to kiss and hurt feeling to mend, but everyday they pull harder and harder at those strings just waiting for their chance to break free.

Happy birthday little man I love you so much.

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