Sunday, September 25, 2005

Aging gracefully

It is said that with age comes wisdom, well I don't feel any wiser. The thought of another year going by is scarrrry really. It feels like this one just started. Did I blink and miss it? What happened in this last year? Where was I, because it sure doesn't feel like I could be another year older already. Time goes by faster with each passing year, and I can hardly keep up. I remember when I was younger and couldn't wait for my birthday to come around. As a child you can't wait for those gifts to come your way, and then for 16 to be able to drive, and then 21 so you can get in the bar legally... and then one day the birthdays seem to come quicker then you can keep up. I don't know when birthdays lost appeal for me, it was sometime in my 20's when I looked at my life and saw that nothing was how I expected it to be. All those youthful dreams left unfulfilled, all those big plans thrown out the window. I don't really celebrate my birthdays anymore, they come and they go, and it's just another day really. Honestly it is a day I reflect on all the failures in my life, all the goals I never attained, all the things that I said I would do, and still have not. I mean don't get me wrong I would much rather have a birthday, then not have one. I still have boys to raise and things I want to do. I just don't enjoy the reflecting back to things I can't change all that much, and that is what birthdays tend to do for me, that is what Monday brings for me...

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