Thursday, August 09, 2007
It ain't that I'm wiser, it's just that I've spent more time with my back to the wall
So I did something I said I would never every do. I'm not proud of myself and it brings me no joy to admit it here. It just shows how inscere I really am, how totally in control of every situtation I need to be. I should feel shame and guilt, but I don't I feel much better now. Oh you want to know what it is that I have done? I bought the D man a cell phone. For the last few years I have seen these kids with cell phones and said "NOt my kids they don't need a freaking cell phone." I changed my way of thinking when all summer long the kids asked if they could ride their bikes to the park, which is like 4 blocks from our house. My answer was always "Not right now I'm doing laundry" or whatever else I was doing at that time. Well the other day I decided I had to start letting them grow up a little, it isn't right for me to be so over protective of them, they need to learn and grow, so I said to D "Take my cell phone and call me when you get to the park and then you call me every 15 minutes to let me know you are ok." He agreed to my terms and off the three of them went, and he followed the rules. He said to me "Mom I need my own phone so I can do stuff." Most of his frineds live in the area, but they are half a mile from our house, so it's always been a no you can't go over unless I take you. Now he has a cell phone and I talk to him all the time, I don't see him nearly as much this week, but he calls me when he gets there and every hour until he leaves. Then we usually talk until he is safely in my sight again. It has given my 9 year old the freedom that I took for granted as a child. I need for him to have that freedom it's important for him to know that I trust him, but I need the security of knowing that he is safe. He can call me if anything happens, he call call 911 if a stranger tried to grab him, and I can call him just to say "I love you baby!"