Blog blank

I have been trying to make myself blog more, but by this point I think I have said just about everything I could say, or maybe not. Today I am drawing a blank as to what I can blog about.

I could tell you my feelings on the harsh treatment of terrorists by the CIA, and how I think there are a few Americans out there that have lost their freaking minds. These people want to see us dead and there are those worried about their rights, well they don't have any as far as I'm concerned.

or I could tell you that we have 2 nights of 3 on 3 hockey left and then only 2 weeks before the season starts again.

I thought about writing about that baby that got taken by force froms it's mother. Who does something like that?

I could discuss the French who don't think Iran is just as scary as Iraq.

Then there is my dog I could tell you how he is setting here next to me driving me nuts, because he wants some attention, and a 100 pound dog just doesn't fit in my lap very well which doesn't' make him very happy.

We could talk about insomina that has reared its head again in my life. I could tell you how I lay in bed for 3 hours hoping for sleep and just about the time I doze off the alarm seems to go off.

None of these topics seem to hold much interest for me, nothing lately seems to hold much interest for me. Steve said I have to much free time and I needed a job, but yet I can't think of even one day that was free time. I do laundry and dishes and feed kids. I drive kids to the places they need to be, and I fed dogs and guinea pigs. I vacuum floors and feed kids again when they get home. I really don't have as much free time as he would like to think I do. Well since I can't think of anything to talk about today I'm off to spend my free time doing more laundry.

Empty

The quiet surrounds me, a stillness I am not use to. It gives me an uneasy filling in the pit of my stomach. I turn on some music to drowned out the nothing, but it doesn't help much. I wonder what I am going to do when they are grown and leave the nest for good. I could go out and get away from my solitude, but that would require leaving the phone, and I don't really like to be away from the phone, even though I have a cell and they all know the number. They expect me to be here waiting for them to come home so I wait and pass the time cleaning house or some other mundane task made for killing time. The waiting drives me insane, waiting to hear the door open and little voices yell "MOM", and every time they leave me I am one step closer to crazy. It's like being stuck in a dark closet with no way out, you can hear the outside world, but you can't be a part of it because you are locked in. People tell me this isn't normal, and I say screw your normal they are my babies and my life. They are the very reason my world turns. They are the reason I wake up everyday and remember to breath. The simple things you take for granted wouldn't happen for me if they were not in my life. There would be no reason for me to exist without them. I miss my babies!

Winter is fast approaching here. We have not been over 60 degrees all weekend and the Mt. is covered in a layer of beautiful white. This morning Colton said to me "I'm a little chilly momma and it feel a lot better than being hot!" Yep he's definitely my kid.

Beta

I like to stay current and try out all the new and different things on this little box, so I have more Beta stuff on here than you can imagin. Yesterday my Yahoo asked me if I wanted to download the new version that is of course Beta. Well of course I did! I downloaded and it sent out requests to people who have been on my list for years, and to some people I have no clue who they are.

This morning for example some dude, that's on my list now, starts IMing me. I have no freaking clue who it is. I don't want to be rude so for the last few minutes I have engaged in polite conversation hoping that it will all come back to me and I will go oh that's so and so, but it hasn't yet. I don't know if he was someone that was actually on my list before or not, but I guess I will have to come right out and ask because I am very confused now, and bet he is thinking the same thing. I have like 7 people pending and I keep getting messages that people have added me that I don't even know?! I bet a lot of them are going "who's this jennschall chick?"

Guess that's why it's beta still, all the bugs are diffenently not worked out yet!

The nice thing is that I have actually IM'ed with some people who I hadn't in a long time.

"I'm getting the belt"

I should just quit reading the newspaper, because it makes me aware of just how backwards society is. It was this article that got my blood fired up tonight.

I don't know the whole story, because god forbide they tell the whole story in our newpaper, but apparently he spanked his own child with a belt and left marks on his rear end. It doesn't say how old the child is or what the child did. Now if it was something stupid like yelling at his sister, well then dad was out of line, but I can think of a dictionary full of reason that do justify a good spanking. There is a really thick line between beating a child and whipping their little butts, and if I saw someone beating their child I would be the first one stepping up to show them what a beating feels like. I got the belt as a child, but not many time, because I wasn't a stupid kid. I learned the first time that there were consequences for my actions. All we are teaching the kids today is "your parents have no say in your life if you want to rob the 7-11 go ahead we'll still hold your mom and dad responsible, but there are not consequences to you."

I have 3 boys, and it is my job as their mother to make them into upstanding memebers of our society. It is my job to teach them right from wrong, and lets face it not every child is the same. I can give Colton a time out or take away the TV for an afternoon and he gets it, he knows he screwed up. David and Cam on the other hand I've grounded them, spanked them, threatened to send them to military school, given them lectures, washed their mouth out with soap, you name it and I've tried it with them. You know what works the very best, yep spanking, and all I have to do is say "knock it off or I'll spank your butt" because they are not stupid kids either. They know when mom threatens to spank them if they keep it up I will whip their butts. I have not had to use a belt on them yet, because my hand across a check stings pretty good.

They are telling kids in school that if your parents hit you to call 911. David told me that the last time I threatened to give him a spanking. I told him I'll dial the damn number if that's the route he wanted to take, because welfare will come and take him away so fast he won't even get to tell me goodbye. He was shocked that someone would take him away from me. His actual words were "but your a good mom, and I love you. would they really take me to foster care because you spanked me?" We had a long talk about abuse then. I told him he should never let anyone hurt him, not even me. I explained the difference between spanking and beatings and told him if he ever really felt I had abused him that he probably should call 911, but if I swatted him on the butt because he said the "f" word maybe he better think twice about calling the cops. He understands that he is the one that will suffer, because he has a pretty good home, with parents who are doing their very best to raise him. He understands that he has love, food, clothes, shelter, and most anything he wants, but he also understands that there are consequences for the bad things he does. All children need disaplain, and everyday the government is taking away parental rights and decisions. Then when these very same children are caught stealing the very same government blames the parents. I guess from now on everytime I need to spank my children I'll just call up the law makers, judges, social services, and all the people ruining this country and let them decide how to handle it, and then in 10 years when they are sending them to the pen for the 3rd time they will have no one to blame but themselves, but alas they don't want that kind of responsibilty so it is left up to me. I am accountable for how my children behave, and I demand that they are polite, respectful, well behaved children. I expect a lot from them, and they seldom fail me. I expect them to know right from wrong and no that if they choose to do wrong they will have to face the music. Granted they are just kids and they are going to screw up, and I do have to choose the battles I fight with them, but there are those things that warrent a butt beating.

So now I have ranted and raved enough about that. Everyone go over and read Wendy girl's news it is pretty exciting!

I've been tagged!

I have not done a meme in so long I almost forgot what they were, but Angi tagged me for this one.

Word association

1. Flip- this is something the boys have learned at school, and not by the teacher oh no they learned this one from there friends. Used in a sentences by D when a car pulled out in front of use the other day. "Mom should I 'flip' him off."

2. Sand-what the boys and dogs keep tracking in the house from the back yard.

3. Vacuum- what I have not done in 2 days and desperately need to because of all the sand.

4. Southern-
Angi

5. Testosterone- way to much of it exists in my house! I should get a girl dog!

Angi only used one with with each of her answers, but I have to much to say I guess to limit myself to just one word! I don't think I have ever thought of just one word for another.

So Colton went for his well child check today... He is all good, but he had to have shots and that just sucks. I took him back to school, not my choice, and he ran off to his class like I didn't exist. I am fixing to go get him from school, because land before time is on and I don't want to watch it by myself. I miss him so much for the last 3 years it has been him and I and now I don't have that time with him. It really messes up my day. I was on the phone with mom a few minutes ago and she said "are you watching cartoons?" cause she could here them in the background. Our TV seldom leaves the cartoon channels even when no one is watching it cartoons are still on in the background.

Well I am off to find something to keep me busy for the next 3 and a half hours!

School Sucks!

Well I didn't like school when I went and I diffenently don't like it now the boys go! I am so utterly alone all day it is driving me nuts. This morning I have already done 2 loads of laundry, cleaned the pig cage, gave the pigs a bath, they like to swim, and talked to my mom for an hour online! I still have 4 and a half hours before they get home.

Colton liked his first day of kindergarten, but he doesn't get to ask as many questions as he would like to and he doesn't get to tell as many stories either... That sucks for him, because he thinks he could teach the teacher a thing or two. He has an excellent teacher, Cam's teacher from last year and she knows him so she knows he will be much more difficult than his brother was, but he loves to learn and he is one of those kids who just gets it. He is not the shy quiet well behaved child my other 2 are. He isn't rude by any means he is just very open and has a lot to say, but he has manners.

Cam's first day being a 1st grader went well also. He really likes his teacher, and I like her too. She taught at science camp so Cam knew her, which I think helps if they know who they are going to be with all day. Cam is very quiet in class as well and she encourages him to be a part of everything. I like that about her, because Cam has a lot to contribute if you give him the chance.

David is another story. He likes his teacher, but school is just so much harder for him than it is for the other 2. He is already frustrated and just "wants to be like the normal kids." I told him he is a normal kid, but that doesn't help. He knows he struggles, and he wants to know why just as badly as I do. It breaks my heart sending him off to school, when I know he is going to come home so keyed up and anxious because he feel like he is less than the other kids. I wish I knew what to do for him. I have tried so many different things and nothing helps. He isn't dumb by any means, and he has more common sense than most grown ups I know. He just doesn't read fluently and with all the work they have done the last 2 years trying to improve that he has now gotten behind in other things. He is out of the classroom so much he misses the important stuff they do there, but he is still expected to know it.

I am thinking seriously about running for the school board next time around. I am also looking into better reading programs for the schools and I am going to start lobbying to get the improvements made in that area. I have looked into the reading recovery program they have, because I felt that it failed D miserably, and all the research I could find agrees with me that it is a temporary fix to the problems kids have with reading. I don't know what will come of any of it, but I'll at least keep trying.

There are 2 more weeks of 3 on 3 hockey, and then 2 weeks after that regular season starts. No one told me there would be so much running around when I had kids! It seems like we are always busy with something when school starts. Well I am going to go clean the bathroom this trying to stay busy while they are off at school is going to kill me!

Sadness and more sadness

Steve Irwin, the croc hunter, has been a part of our lives since David started watching TV. All 3 of the boys love him, and they want to be just like him when they grow up, especially Colton. He has had a great influence on Colton, who won't let you kill a spider when you could just take it outside and don't even meantion killing a snake. So today when we heard about his death we all kind of took it hard. It was like we had lost a family member or close person friend. I think a lot of people felt that way. Him and Terri were in our homes all the time. He took us on every journey with him, from the birth of his children to the lose of his dog and his mother, and everything in between. They openly shared their lives with us, and their passion to save animals. He taught us that snakes are not bad, and it's better to just move them out of the back yard and take them down to the river instead of killing them. He inspired awe in every kind of animal, and he could make you believe that crocs were "little beauties". He had such a love for all the creatures of this earth, and he was willing to share that with his viewers. As I sit here and watch the old reruns of croc hunter I think about Terri, Bindy Sue, and little Bob. I am sad for them. I am sad that Bindy won't have anymore adventures with her dad, you could tell by watching them together they were kindered spirts. I am sad for Bob because he doesn't get to know Steve, and I am sad for Terri. If there were 2 people in the public eye that truly loved each other it was Steve and Terri Irwin. I told my Steve tonight that I was glad she had such a great support system. My heart goes out to them.

We had our own tragic accident here on wednesday. I am still wondering how the heck it happened. I told the boys they had to clean the pig cage out, well I should have known something awful was going to happen, because they jump right up and started in. Well they put the piggies under the table, where they usually stay. So David is in the cage wiping it down and they are almost done, he has a few more spots to wipe up and then we can put everything back in. Well he jumpped out of the cage and at the very moment he jumpped down Fireball ran out, and before either one of them knew what happened Cam is screaming "He stepped on him, David stepped on him" David picked him up ran him over to me "He's bleeding mama he's bleeding" he says to me in tears. I took the little body and saw the blood on his hind leg. "Oh shit he broke off his foot!" was my first thought, but as I explored a little more there was just one little spot of blood. It was looking better until I turned him around and saw the blood pouring out of his nose and mouth. I knew there was nothing I could do. I hate that helpless feeling. I couldn't do anything for Fireball, and I couldn't do anything for David who I now notice is covered in blood all over his little arms and legs. David is freaking out and then I said "he's dead" and the tears started flowing. I sent David in to get cleaned up and placed Fireball in a shoebox. He was the most social guinea pig we have, and I think that is why he decided to come out, but the timing was just perfectly wrong. David got cleaned up, and we took him and buried him in the back yard. Then David hugged Cam and told him a million times how sorry he was, Fireball was Cam's pig, and they both cried. David wouldn't hurt anything for the world and this has been extreamly hard on him. You meantion the name Fireball and both the boys cry, thankfully Cam doesn't blame David he watched the whole thing happen and knew there was nothing that could be done. I wish that David didn't blame himself so much that is hard for me especially since I am the one that told them get those pigs off the couch! I blame myself!

Containment

 

I am happy to say that they have the fire contained now.  There were 10 cabins destroyed, but no one was hurt thankfully!  The smoke is still thick here, and my allgeries are going nuts! 

Other things going on:

 

I applied for a job at the school, but they never called me back so I doubt I got that which sucks, but oh well.

The boys started 3 on 3 hockey, and that is twice a week so we have been doing that the last 2 weeks.  They are having a great time, but I forgot what it is like trying to get 2 kids dressed in all that gear!

Steve's hand is not healing like it should.  I don't know what they are going to do they may end up pinning the bones together if it doesn't start healing soon.  I'm sure that it would heal a lot better if he would leave the little splints on his fingers, but he is a man and you can't tell them anything.

Really that is about all that has been going on.  School starts the 5th so I have been going through clothes trying to find out who fits in what and am learning that none of my kids seem to be fitting in anything!  If they don't quit growing I am going to put bricks on their heads!  D man has grown about 3 inches in the last month and gained 8 pounds.  He is 4'9" and weights 77 pounds now! 

I am off to the laundry room again!

Casper Mountain has

Casper Mountain has always been a place of fun and good times for me. Ever since I was a child we have picnicked there, skied there, biked and hiked, and camped there. The view from my back deck is one of the best in the world. I can see the green pines in the summer and the snow capped whiteness in the winter and she is always beautiful. The last time I was there the boys and I went up for a picnic at the falls. We were lucky enough to be the only ones enjoying her beauty that day. We ate lunch and the boys played in garden creek, the same way I use to when I was their size. Then we hiked up to the water fall itself. We sat down and watched a rock chuck playing around and listened to the wind in the trees and the birds singing to each other.

I have many stored memories of times I have been up there. The times when we would sneak in after dark as teenagers just to go sit by the falls and drink beer oh yeah we did that a few times. The time my sister, our friend and I went up in the winter and Jo fell through the snow and we had to dig her out, because she was up to her neck and we laughed all the way home. The picnics at Beartrap with my parents when dad would get board and say "lets go for a drive" we always went on the same drive up over the mountain, stop for a picnic at Beartrap, and down the back side over to coal mountain road and home. I loved the times we went up so my boyfriend at the time and my sister could ride their mountain bikes, and I would take a book and sit and read in the quiet that only a mountain can offer for hours while they explored. There was the time that my sister came home for a visit and we took the boys up to the falls for an afternoon, and all the trips to gravity hill and how fun we thought it was that the car can actually roll up hill, and the times I taken the boys there and how they are just as amazed at I was when I was their age.

I will never forget the time mom, me, and Jo went to look at the deer, they gather at the base of the mountain, and that 4 point buck came to the window looking for a hand out. I didn't have anything to feed them, but he could smell something so he stuck his head in the car. I leaned back as far as I could, knowing that if I pissed him off he could seriously hurt me, his tick infested head stretched out and he took a piece of candy that was in the console of mom's car. He pulled his head back out the window and stood there eating his candy, while the three of us laughed and laughed. Silly damn deer didn't have a clue that was bad for him, but not one of us was willing to tell him any different. I can't count how many times I have taken the boys up to watch the deer; there is something magical about garden creek deer, but only while they are at garden creek. They are almost tame there, but they move away from that spot and they are as wild as any other deer.

I could go on and on with my memories of the times I have spent enjoy my beautiful mountain, and now watching her burn and not being able to do anything about it rips my heart out. I know that Mother Nature is at work and she knows what she is doing, but that doesn't make my heart ache any less.

Mother Natures unleashed her furry!

I went out on the back deck and watched as smoke plumed above the mountain. It started off as a small cloud, and quickly progressed to several large clouds of smoke. I looked on hoping it would be contained to the back side of the mountain. Thinking surly they will get it under contol, but knowing there was no way to contain the beast. I would come in the house and do a few things and then go back out and check on my beautiful mountain. As night approached you could see the orange glow of flames creating an errie light across the night sky, but so far so good not one flame leaped to the front, until about one this morning. I was standing out of the deck and the flashing light caught my eye, and I knew the fire had creasted the top of the mountian. I looked throught the binoculars and saw the flames licking the bottoms of trees, and my heart sank. I went to bed, only to wake up to the thick smell of smoke and burning pines. I went again to my back deck and watched as fire poured down the side of the mountain like hot lava, stopping every once in away to dance in the tops of trees. A sadness filled my heart. My beautiful mountain that holds so many joyous memories, the mountain that we all take for granted for so many years, the mountain that I love is burning down. My first thought was for all the critter living up there, and then all the people who have chosen to make their homes there. They have evacuated much of the area and are asking people less than a mile away from me to leave their homes. I know mother nature really knows what she is doing, and the burn will create new growth, but it's sad to watch her go up.

Salad

The guinea pigs are out of veggies. They are a real pain in the butt and require as much or more attention as the dogs do. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to let the boys have them. The boys have been pretty good about keeping up with their care though, so it's hard to complain about them to much.

Jake had a really sever hypo, low blood sugar, the other night. I was outside talking to my neighbor and Steve yelled from the window "Jakes having a heart attack." I knew what it was, and I ran as fast as a fat girl can run, grabbed the syurp and started dripping it onto his tongue. It took a couple minutes and he was sitting up shaking it off again. I was so glad we were home or we would have come home to a dead dog! I don't know why his sugar went so low. Him and I had been sitting on the couch together like we always do, and I got up to go see what the boys were doing. He was fine when I left him, he wasn't showing any signs of hypo at all. Usually he starts getting a little goofy and I know he is low and take care of it before it gets worse. This is the first time he has every gone so low it didn't even register on the blood meter. I had only been outside about 10 minutes. He is getting old now and it scares me, because I am not ready to lose another dog right now.

Today is the last day of science camp for the boys. They have had a really good time, even if they didn't like getting up early. I am starting to think that if school started at about 10 in the morning they would all do better. No one of them is what you would call a morning person, but then neither is their mother!

3 on 3 hockey starts the 15th and they are really looking forward to that, but I have to figure out how I am going to get them to hockey and Colton to soccer on the same nights at the same time. I have to help Cam get dressed and I have to tighten both their skates, but I can't just drop off a 5 year old and leave him at the soccer field. The boys alone on the ice wouldn't be so bad, because I know everyone at the ice rink and really there is no way for anyone to steal them off the ice, but the soccer fields are all open and anyone could come along and take chunk. The bad thing is soccer starts 15 minutes before hockey!

Candies dandy, but liquor's quicker!

I am sure that everyone has heard about Mel Gibson's drunken tirade by now. I laugh and shake my head, and thank the stars that my words don't mean anything to anyone other than me. I know that a lot of people would not like what I have to say if I were in the public eye, but that is beside the point. For those of you that don't pay attention Gibson got arrested on a DUI and started making anti jewish statements about the Jewish being responsible for all the wars in the world. He was drunk, and drunk people often say stupid things. To blame the Jews for all the wars in the world is just crazy and not a very well thought out statement, only an idiot or a drunk would make such a comment. I have seen Mel on several different talk shows promoting his movies and such and he has struck me as an intelligent person, a person that is smart enough to know that those kind of comments can ruin an acting career. I don't have an acting career, nor do I want one so I can say anything I want and it will not ruin me.

Let's turn his statement around just a little and say "Religion is responsible for most of the wars the world has seen." That would be a much truer statement in my view. I don't think one religion is anymore or less responsible for war, they have all had their fair share of starting wars in the name of their god or gods. Perhaps the wars didn't start as a religious war, but some smart person who knew people would fight for their religion turned it around to make them feel that is what they were fighting for. People like Hitler, who hated his father, a Jew, who abandoned him and his mother, turned that hatred around on all Jews. He was a master at making the people under his rule believe that the Jews were evil and making his followers believe that they were fighting more to preserve their own religious beliefs and ways of life. Bin Ladden works on the same principles he manipulates people into believing that they are killing the infidels in the name of religion. In both cases the people who are fighting and dyeing never really know the true reasons for their leaders hated of a certain race or country. They are blinded by their beliefs. People are like cows on a trail, one cow starts down the trail and other just seem to fall in behind them, not knowing where the leader is taking them or why and not smart enough on their own to question why they are walking away from the green grass towards a dirt field, and no matter how thirsty or hungry they get they still stay on the trail. So to say one specific religion is responsible for all the wars is ridicules, but who can really argue with the fact that religions have played a major part in many wars.

Now that I went off in a total different direction I shall get back to the topic at hand. The simple fact that we, as in the people of the world, put more stock in what some actor says than what our own children have to say to us is a sad truth. We have turned entertainers, actors, musicians, sports figures, into something they are not, they are worshiped like hero's. We follow their lives, and want to know everything about them, what they eat for breakfast, who they are sleeping with, what their kids look like. It is insane considering they are just people, they are no better or worse than any one of us average people, they just make more money. They were all born naked and will die one day just like the rest of us. The true hero's in our world are often overlooked, because we are to busy worrying about what Mel Gibson said or how much weight Oprah has lost or gained. I remember a few months ago when we were at the store and D man saw some of our national guardsmen, he says to me "Those guys are hero's mom!" I hope he always knows who the true hero's are and doesn't put to much faith in what some actor has to say. I guess that all ties into the religious views as well. I hope that they all grow up to use their own minds to know what is right and I hope they always question things, and choose to get off the trial if it is leading them in the wrong direction.

Nothing of importance

Over the past week we have been assulted by missionaries of every demonition trying to offer us a little salvation. I have politely told them I am not interested in what they have to say, and I'm not. If I want to talk religion there are several people I feel are more qualified on the subject than some stranger trying to convert me. Let's face it these people are not up for a debate on faith or my lack of it. They simply want to recute me into their folds, and honestly that is not going to happen. My own grandparents have not been able to make a believer out of me, so really some wacky people knocking at my door have little hope. Now I have nothing against religion. I think more people need the morals and values that religion teachs, but I don't think going door to door pedaling your views is the way to make it happen. I am a stong believer in my views are my own and yours are yours. I respect the fact that other people have different beliefs than I do, and I expect people to do the same.

I have been Colton's sole sorce of entertainment this past week. His brother's are at science camp. Colton was to young to go to the camp. Then after camp 3 on 3 hockey and Soccer for Colton starts. He was going to play hockey, but changed his mind, which is good really for me and cheaper too! I am not ready to start running here and there again and trying to be in more than one place at one time. I am not ready for summer to be over either and it is quickly winding to a close. I hate the boys having to be in school all day, and this year all 3 of them will be going all day long. I am going to find a part time job to keep myself busy or I will go insane.

The dog, the tooth, and other stuff

David turned 8 last Sat. It just doesn't seem like we have had him for 8 years already. Time just go by so fast the older I get. He had a great birthday, his granny came and took him to Red Lobster, his favorite place. Then he spend his birthday money that he got from Aunt Jo, Aunt P, and his great grandparents on a new pair of heely's shoes... he is like a little pro on them now. He got hockey gear that he needed and the star wars movies from us and granny got him new skates and hockey breezers. He finally lost his first tooth on tuesday.

It was lose and he kept nagging me to pull it, but he would chicken out the minute I got close enough to touch it. I was joking and I said well tie a string to it and Cam's bike and have Cam ride off really fast... they did and now he is minus one baby tooth.

Monday there was a dog wondering around the neighborhood. It was limping very badly and it got closer to D and I as we were standing in the yard. D all of a sudden says "What is that smell." and then it hit me. It was the smell of death, if you have ever been around something that is about to die or has just died you know that smell. It was awful and I knew he was in bad shape. He lives up the street and it was almost 5:30 so I am sure he was trying to make it home... I was very scared one of the kids was going to try to help it and end up getting bite. The nicest dogs in the world will often bite when they are scared and in a lot of pain, so I made all the kids in the neighborhood go to the back yard. When I went back out front to help him he was gone already. I hope he made it home and they took care of him.

Sunday we went to the air show it was part of D's birthday. We got to see the Thunderbirds, they put on an amazing show. D and Cam now want to join the air force and become pilots. I told them they better start getting the grades now! I wouldn't really mind if they went to the Air Force Academy it isn't that far away from me! Colton chated with everyone about everything. The Navy seals had a booth set up and they had their little dune buggy out.

Colton goes up to one of the kids and says "So how fast does it go?" "About 80 miles an hour." the kids replys. "Well how the hell does it fly?" Colton says. Which made perfect sense we were at an air show! Then we walked through the coast guards Hercules and Colton found the coast guard kids and says "So you know how to fly this baby?" "Yep I do" kid says. "Well let get her up in the air then" Colton says. There is never a dull moment when you take that one out in public!

Steve's fingers are doing much better, but if he doesn't get off light duty soon and start to do real work again he is going to drive me nuts. He isn't very good at doing nothing...

Wow an amazing thing!

I was clicking through my links this morning, and popped over to one I don't seem to get to as often I would like, This we will defend. Sgt. Hook is an awesome writer, and I was playing a little caught up on his posts, when I came across the link for 2996. This is an amazing effort that everyone should be promoting.

The idea is to get 2996 bloggers to post a tribute to a life lost on 911. So far he has 995, so there are still many names left. I am a little nervose about taking on such a great challenge. I don't know if I could do this project justice, but I am going to give it a shot. Please pass the word around even if you don't feel you can write a tribute at least pass the infor on to someone who might!

Take mine I'm not using them anymore!

If you have read for awhile then you know that I voted for Bush, and you also know why, but for anyone who just stumbled here accident's looking for naked jenn cam, which I seem to get a lot of hits from, I'll explain that decision. I would never vote for a traitor and I would not waste my vote so I was stuck voting for Bush. It was that simple really, but a lot more complex too.

I knew this 4 years would make me shake my head in disbelief, and make me wonder if maybe I should move to Canada. I knew that my life views were very different than the current administrations. For example I have no religious views. I think abortion is my choice not my governments or my neighbors choice in fact I don't even think it's anyone else's business.

So it's not really a big shocker that I support stem cell research. I think the possibilities could be great. I mean eventually they may figure out how to grow kidney's or hearts or liver and thousands of children on the transplant list facing death could go on to lead healthy, happy lives. Cures for cancer, MS, MD and millions of other things could be found. I wasn't really shocked that Bush vetoed the bill, but I was hopeful that he wouldn't. I would gladly donate my eggs for research, honestly I'm done with them. I don't really see it as a moral dilemma, maybe it's because I don't have any religious convictions, or perhaps I don't see embryo's in a Petri dish as babies, or maybe it's just the fact that I look at all the babies it could save and I think about my babies and if anything was wrong with them I would want every option under the sun explored in order to find a cure. I would give up my own life for theirs if that is what it took. I think it is my respect for life that really makes me in favor of stem cell research, and regret that as a nation we are stepping backwards.

Hotter than the core of the earth!

I am not one of those warm weather people. If I have the choice of fun in the sun or sitting under an air conditioner I will always choose the A/C. If I liked to be sweaty and sticky I'd excersize more, but I think it's pretty obivious that I don't enjoy being sweaty or sticky or excersizing for that matter. The last week has been miserable hot, the kind of hot that melts your brain just looking out the window. The downside to the hot is that this last week was fair and rodeo week. Well you know I love the rodeo, but I kept putting it off until last night, the last night. All week long it's been 100, 102 right in that range. Hopeful that it would cool off before long I waited and put it off, after promising the boys we would go. So there it was Sat. the final night and the tempture hovered around 112 degrees. I know that 12 degrees doesn't seem that much worse than 100, but it is. I have no other choice, I have promised these babies that I would take them. I try really hard never to break promises. Most of the time I tell them "we see" or "I'll do my best."

So we loaded them up and took them. Thankfully the fair buildings are all air conditioned. We wondered around in them until the rodeo started. Then we went over got some seats and proceeded to sweat until we all looked like we had been running through the sprinklers. I didn't see much of the rodeo between unsticking my clothes from my body, wiping my steamed up glasses off, and attempting to fan the air around me for some kind of cool breeze. I just kept thinking any time now this will be over! I made it though though and am alive today.

I am looking at moving somewhere cooler, like possibly sibera...

My heart stopped!

"Is this Steve's wife?"
"Yes it is."
"This is Bob from husbands company. Have you talked to Steve this afternoon?"
My heart stopped, "No, I have not."
"Well there was an accident at work... He's ok, but he is in the ER in Thermopolis. He injuried his hand."

Sometimes I forget that I really do love him. Sometimes I forget just how good he is to me. Sometimes I forget just how much he loves our boys. A lot of times I get mad because he drinks to much, and a lot of times I get mad because he does stupid man things. However, at that moment when the guy called to tell me there had been an accident I could hardly breath. My mind raced with thoughts of Steve laying there fighting for his life, and I was 230 miles away. I joke with Steve all the time that his life insurance is doubled if it happens at work, but in the real world I don't want anything to happen to him. I really do want to grow old with him. There are times that I need some space away from him, and there are times that I get so mad at him I could beat him to death, but if anything is going to happen to him I want it to be by my own hands damn it!

I was very relived when he told me it was only his hand. Steve got his hand smashed under a motor that runs the pumps. They weigh about 1500 lbs. I figured that he was going to come home minus a finger or two, but he got really freaking lucky. He only broke 2 fingers, and they had to sew one back on. It hurts like hell, but he is going to be right back to work in a week, more than likely on light duty cause I don't know how he is going to do a whole lot without the 2 middle fingers on his right hand. Why is it alway the hand you use most? He is all splinted up and the ER Doc said it won't come off for at least 2 weeks, maybe longer. For now I am trying my best to take care of him, but he is a crappy patient! If he would just shut up and do what I say we would do alright, but no he thinks he is a grow up or something! It's much easier taking care of injured children at least they do what I tell them to.

A glimpse of life without kids.

There is an awful silence in my house. A silence that won't go away no matter how much how loudly I turn the sound on the TV up or crank the music. I feel lost and alone without the boys. They are the reason I breath everyday, and since they have been gone it had been horrible. I have seen the future and it isn't to pretty either.

The kids are gone and Steve and I are alone, and yet I am feeling more empty then when he is off on a job. He mowed the yard and I cooked dinner. I ate dinner and he fixed the sprinkler head that was bad. I watched TV he sat outside on the back deck. He came in and ate dinner and watched Monk with me. He went to bed, and I am watching Psych. This is how it will be when our kids get older and move out on their own. We just seem to have less and less in common everyday. The boys are what binds us together and without them we are nothing, we have nothing. Maybe it is just because I miss the kids and I feel lost without them. I don't really know how to be without them. For the last 8 years that what I have done, cattier to my children. I don't do anything without them, and now I feel like just sitting in the house waiting for them to call me. Longing to here their little voices say they love me, now don't get me wrong I love the fact that they want to spend time with my mom and dad and vice versa. They all love each other a great deal, and I know they are being well taken care of. There isn't anyone in the world I would let them go with other than my mom and dad.

So anyway mom and dad are bringing the boys home Sunday and we are all going to go boating at the lake. Then David wants to go back to their house, but he may change his mind once I tell him we are going to the rodeo Tuesday night. Yes it is once again fair and rodeo season here. The boys all love going to watch the rodeo especially the bull riding. David is determined that in the winter he will be a pro hockey player and in the summer he will be a pro bull rider. I am determined that he will never get that close to a bull. I've been to enough rodeos in my day to know that it is way to dangerous for one of my boys. I don't care if it's calf roping or bull riding I really hope they outgrow their cowboy dreams.

Tomorrow is Steve's 43rd birthday, damn he is getting old. He will be 56 when Colton graduates from high school. I will only be 47, that is young enough to play with any grandbabies I might get. Steve will be to old to enjoy any grandkids!

Well that is my pathetic life in a nutshell.

Fireworks

Well last night we loaded up the family and went and listened to the bands at the event center and got a good spot to watch the fireworks. The only band we heard was not that good... perhaps it's just that I am not into the kind of music they were playing or maybe it was because every song the sang sounded like they ripped the music off from Jimi Hendrix songs and just changed the lyrics. Colton entertained the crowds with his awesome dance moves, he looked just like he was in the middle of the mosh pit doing his thing. He cracks me up that kid. We were sitting by some bushes and a tiny baby rabbit decided that we were pretty safe and he came out and nibbled some grass just inches away from us. It was all the boys could do to hold themselves back. Colton says "I just want to love it up."

After about 3 Hendrix songs with different lyrics we had had enough, so we start making our way back to the truck. It's getting dark and the parking lot was very busy so I said "give me your hand so I know where your at." more to Colton than the other 2. David looks and me and says "I'd rather step in horse shit than hold your hand!" It was on. I grabbed him up and started kissing his cheeks and telling him that I loved him. He ran all the back to the truck. A little while later he asked me if he hurt my feelings and of course I played it up and said yes. He jumped into my lap and said he was just kidding.

The boys are all off to spend some time with their grandparents tomorrow.