snow makes me lazy

I woke this morning and the house was freezing, something that makes me want to snuggle under the covers and go back to sleep. The boys had to go to school though so I threw back the blankets, and jumped out of bed; I ran to the kitchen to start my coffee, then ran back to the bedroom to get my thick socks. That is when I noticed the snow was sticking to everything. We have had snow a couple times already, but the ground was still warm enough that nothing was sticking for very long. The ground is now cold and the snow is not melting. The boys are wanting to know when we can go sking. I have not been skiing in about 15 years so I hope it is like riding a bike and you don't forget, because I promised them I would take them this year. We live about 25 minutes from the top of the mountain and they have some nice trails up there for both downhill and cross country. I now have to figure out how I am going to teach 3 small boys to ski when I am not even sure if I remember, but we still have another month before we have to worry about that, perhaps I will just save up some money and hire someone to teach them and I will sit in the lodge and drink hot chocolate all day.

I needed a good laugh today

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa.
>
> He took his faithful pet dachshund along for company.
> One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the
> dachshund discovers that he is lost.
> Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction
> with the obvious intention of having lunch.
> The dachshund thinks, "I'm in deep trouble now!
> Then he noticed some bones on the ground close by and immediately
> settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
> Just as the leopard is about to leap, the dachshund exclaims loudly,
> "Boy, that was one delicious leopard.
> I wonder if there are any more around here?"
> Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-stride, as a look
> of terror comes over him, and slinks away into the trees.
> "Whew," says the leopard. "That was close. That dachshund nearly had
> me."
> Meanwhile, a monkey who had been! watching the whole scene from a
> nearby tree figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it
for
> protection from the leopard.
> So, off he goes. But the dachshund saw him heading after the leopard
> with great speed, and figured that something must be up.
> The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and
> strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.
> The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here monkey,
> hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine."
> Now the dachshund sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back
> and thinks "What am I going to do now?"
> But instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his
> attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet and just when they get close
> enough
> to hear the dachshund says:
>
> "Where's that stupid monkey? I sent him off half an hour ago to bring
> me another leopard."
>
>
>
> REMEMBER: IF YOU CAN'T DAZZLE THEM WITH BRILLIANCE, BAFFLE THEM WITH
> BULL!

Blogging

People seem to blog for all kinds of different reasons. For some it is their way to get their voice heard, for some it is a joy of writing, and for others it is a personal journal.

I think I am a little bit of all these things. I enjoy expressing my views in a public arena. I enjoy knowing what other people think and feel as well so I open the comments up, not everyone agrees with me and I don't expect them too, after all they are my opinions, my feelings. I have always enjoyed writing, and have kept a journal since I was a little girl, now I keep it all online. I don't tell all here, but a lot of my feelings go into my posts, and I don't claim to know how to spell, or that I can convey a rational thought in a manner that will make sense to everyone. I write it down just like I would say it, I mean after all this is not a work that is going to be published. This is my personal journey through life, my thoughts about things; my feelings. I have never asked anyone to read my blog, if you come here it is of your own free will. I don't do this to entertain people. I do it for me and no one else, and it is nice that I have made some friends,some really good friends, while doing it, but that is not the reason I choose to maintain my little personal space on the world wide web. Just like in my real life you never know what I might have to say a lot of the time I talk about the boys, they are my world, but every once in awhile I will tell you honestly how I feel about something or someone, that is who I am. I have opinions and I choose to share them here. When I am passionate about those feelings I will write about them weather they be about the boys, politics, or just life in general and you can make the choice to read them or not and you can choose to agree with them or not. That is what makes living in a free society a great thing I have the freedom to say whatever I want and you my friends have the freedom to listen or not.

I am offended.

By now I am sure everyone has heard about the statement Theresa Heinz-Kerry made about the first lady. She actually said "I don't know if she has ever had a real job.” Well putting the fact that Laura Bush was a teacher and a Liberian aside, she has always had a "real job". The woman is a wife and a mother, and that is a real job. I was in total disbelief by that woman's words. She insulted every wife and mother in America. So I choose to stay home and raise my children instead of allowing some stranger to raise them I am somehow less important than someone who has a job outside of the home? I know many women who would love to be able to stay home with their babies instead of having to go to a job everyday. I have made the choice to be here and implement morals and values into my kids, my morals and values not someone else's. I have made the choice to give up the extras we could have if I had a "real job". I think the benefits of raising my own children are far greater than owning 4 wheelers and boats, and all those things. Me being the biggest influence in my boys' lives is worth giving up everything but the basic necessities in life. We don't have to give up to much for me to be here with my kids, but I know a few moms’ that have. I know some moms that have to go to work everyday just to make ends meet, and they don't have the extras either. The thing is that once you are a mother you have a real job weather you go to another job outside the home or not. Raising Children is a lot of hard work and not all of us are in the position to hire a nanny to raise them for us, and not all of us would want someone else raising our children even if we were in that position. I am insulted by that woman’s words, and every mother in America should be insulted by her.

because JP asked for it,

and I have nothing better to post here; I am posting my story from the forum.

Warning it has some graphic language and is a bit twisted so if you don't like that kind of thing don't read any farther, oh it isn't very good, because well I am just not that talented people!

Part one

There was only a slight chill in the October air, unseasonably warm really for this time of year. The kids all decided to have a sleep over in the tree house. I knew what they were up to, hell ever parent that had been raised in our little town knew what the kids were planning tonight. We all did the same thing ourselves at that age. Sweet memories of youth could turn so sour though, and I wished I could retell our story to those kids in my tree house. I wished I could implement the terror of that night to these children, but they wouldn’t have to live the same horror we had, and I couldn’t tell anyone about our night. That is how we referred to it “our night”. Halloween was only 3 days away, and it was a tradition of sorts, started even before my time, the kids would all camp out the weekend before Halloween, and when they thought the parents were sleeping soundly they would sneak off to the old house up on the hill; the house was supposedly haunted, and they would tell the story of the old woman who had died there and how her ghost still roamed about.

There was no evidence of any woman really dieing in the house, and I have come to understand that ghosts are not real, at least the kind in scary stories. Oh I believe in ghosts, they haunt you for life, but I don’t believe they are the kinds that float around inhabiting houses they died in. No ghosts tend to live in your memories and your thoughts that is where they are real, and I fear my demons will follow me to my grave. I could hear the kids up in the tree house and I smiled at their innocents, and hoped they would keep theirs much longer than we had ours. The phone rang interrupting my thoughts.

“Hello” I answered.

“Maryanne, it is Jean. How are you?” she sounded calm, but I knew she was feeling the night close in on her just as much as I was.

“Jean, I am good. How are you?” I tried not to let on that I had been thinking about “our night”, but she knew just like I knew she had been scrutinizing over it as well. We had been there TOGETHER, along with George, Stan, and Marty. The five of us had always been a tight group.

“I am fine. How are the kids doing?” She was making small talk, but neither of us wanted to bring up what was always somewhere in the back of our minds.

“The kids are having a great time, you want to come over?” I asked.

“Yes.” Was all she said.

“OK see you in a few minutes.” I hung up the phone, as Marty came through the back door. I had been expecting him, and soon Stan would show up as well. George use to come too, but this year it would only be the four of us. George had let the ghosts of the past get to him, and had taken his own life after last years get together. I always think there was more we could have done to save him, but people deal with their problems in different ways. I guess that was the only way George knew how to make the ghosts stop haunting him.

“Hey, sis.” He said as he leaned close and kissed my cheek. Marty was my brother, my twin brother.

“Hi sweetie. Jean is on her way. Where is Stan?”

“He said he would be here in a few, don’t know what is holding him up.” Marty and Stan were best friends then, and had always reminded that way.

We sat down at the table and I poured us some coffee, we were not going to sleep tonight anyway. We could hear the laughing and MUSIC coming from the tree house, my twins Beth and Bobby, and their little friends, there were five of them, just like it had been with us. Jean’s oldest Ryan was among them. I wanted to bring up “our night”, I needed to talk about it, but I didn’t know where to start not even with Marty whom I was closer to than anyone in the world. That is when Marty broke the unspoken rule, the rule we never really made, but always seemed to follow.

“The weather is exactly like the night we went out. Did you notice how unseasonable warm it is, just a bit of a chill, but not cold like most years.”

“Yeah I noticed.”

“It was my fault Mare, I know none of you ever blamed me, but I have always blamed myself.”

It had been his idea to follow that shaggy YELLOW dog into the woods BEHIND the old house, but he was not responsible for what happened to them there. Marty always thought he could save everyone and everything, and he was sure he could BEFRIEND that stupid dog. We had only brought two flashlights with us, so we decided we would all stay together and walk in a straight line one light on each end. I remember how dark it got with each step we took, and the sound of our breathing was the only thing to be heard. We lost the dog right off the bat, and then we lost ourselves; that is when we saw the fire and heard the men talking. We should have known that no sane person would actually be camping in the woods that time of year, but we were young and scared. We were taught to trust adults; I guess that is growing up in a small town where bad things just never happen.

Stan and Jean both strolled through the front door disturbing my thoughts. It was hard to believe that it had been George that had taken his own life, and not Stan. Stan and I were the ones who had suffered the most at the hands of those men, but George had delivered that skull CRUSHING blow to the bald ones head.

“Hey guys I got food for the kids, and booze for us!” He pulled the paper bag from behind his back. Stan drank a lot, but none of us blamed him. That was how he silenced the evil.

Jean and Stan sat down, and I got them both cups and filled them with coffee as Stan open the bottle and began pouring a splash in all of our cups. I topped mine and Marty’s off with some hot coffee, and we all sat there staring at our booze filled mugs, wanting to talk about that night, but not sure where to start.

“I was telling Mare that it was all my fault. You know the night it happened. If I hadn’t been so stupid it wouldn’t have happened.”

Jean looked dumbfound, as she placed her hand over Marty’s. “It wasn’t your fault. You had no idea, and we all wanted to follow that damn dog Marty.”

“We could have talked you out of it man, we could have said no way, we should have…” Stan’s eyes drifted to the floor.

I knew that Stan was thinking about the torture those men had put him, us, through. I still don’t understand why they singled the two of us out for their sick little games, I am sure they were going to work their way through the whole group, before George got brave and took a stand. I can still feel those vile hands against my skin, and looking up and seeing Stan’s naked little body bent over that log with the filthy man kneeling behind him. I can still here Stan crying. I remember the words the bald man said as his fingers probed at my most private parts, “you know how long it’s been since I had nice tight pussy little girl, and I ain’t never had me no virgin pussy.” Sometimes I woke up at night hearing those words.

“I still can’t believe George killed himself. I always figured it would be me that took that route.” Stan was teary eyed. This had been the first time we had really talked about anything that happened that night.

“When George saw what that man intended to do to you Maryanne, he lost it. He broke that rope and picked up that rock and just started smashing it against that mans head over and over.” Jean shook her head in disbelief even after all these years it was still hard to believe.

The other man stood up and moved toward George, but Stan jumped up, the man didn’t know which way to turn. I couldn’t see what was going on the dead man was lying on top of me as bits of brains and blood ran into my eyes. The next thing I remember was George telling me it was all going to be all right. “Get him out of me.” Was all I could say, and George said “I am trying to pull him off you Mare; it is going to be ok.” He managed to pry the dead cold body off of me with Stan’s help, and when I stood up I saw the other man lying there dead as well. That is when Marty screamed “Oh my god you guys that is the sheriff” pointing at the man who had molested Stan.

Oh my gosh I finished my story.

Well I didn't actually finish it so I had to post in chapters this time. I will post the next chapter next time if the words are good and I can fit them into the story.

For everyone who doesn't know what I am talking about I am talking about fizzle and pop forum. We have a story telling thing going on, but the competition is dwindling and dieing so if you enjoy writing go join up, or if you enjoy reading just go on over and vote.

Tonight it hockey night so I have to run get D from school, get him fed and dressed and head out. I better do that now or I am gonna be late.

What do you want to be for Halloween?

That was the big question we asked our children this weekend. We took a trip to town to finally get David a new coat, which we found right away. He found one at Target that we both agreed was a very nice and cool coat, and he could move around in it. Then we looked at costumes. $26 to $29 for a Halloween get up is just not in my budget. I don't know who would buy a child a $29 outfit they will wear one time, and mostly here in Wyoming their coat is covering it anyway. So I said it is on to walmart where we found nothing. I swear they didn't have anything worth a crap. Cameron wanted to be a devil, that was until he saw an evil picture of a devil and said that was to scary for him. David wanted to be a nijia, did walmart have a nijia costume? No they didn't, but what do you expect from that damn store if they were not so cheap I wouldn't even shop there! So then he decided on a vampire, oh that is good a little face paint some fake teeth and a cape which we found all for about $7. So then Cameron found a cowboy outfit he wanted. I told him I could dress him up like a real cowboy, we have everything at home to do that, but no he wanted the cheap plastic one ok fine there were 400 other people standing in that aisle and I just wanted to get out of there so for $12.95 he got a cowboy outfit. Then David decided he wanted to be a cowboy in a fake plastic outfit too, well do you think they have another cowboy outfit? NO! So the fight was on with David he began throwing a fit. I told him he picked a damn vampire and that was what he was going to be because they didn't have a cowboy outfit; we had already been standing there for about an hour at that point, and still didn't have anything for Colton. I turned to Colton and said "Honey what are you gonna be? Have you found anything yet?" his reply has made him my favorite child, "I don't want to be anything. Halloween is stupid." People get on his nerves as badly as they do mine, and no one was letting him look they kept pushing him out of the way, and we was finding nothing. So this morning while his brothers are at school I believe I will take him to Kmart, and see what he can find there. One of the other moms fighting her way through the crowd with her kids told me they had a better selection there anyway, and they were on sale. That way it will be just him and I and he can look and find something he wants to be, without everyone pushing him out of the way.

Winter

When does winter officially start? Well in Wyoming the traditional Dec. 21 date is null and void. Winter is here. We are getting snow mixed in with the rain this morning, so it is time for the hats, boots, and coats to come out of hiding. Actually I have seen snow in the summer here, it doesn't happen often, but every once in awhile mother nature will throw us a curve. I love the snow and cold. I am not much of a warm weather person at all, but the last few years I have noticed I can predict the weather with the aches and pains in my body. I was blessed with arthritis in my hands, feet, and knees, have had it since I was young, and they took my vioxx off the market, something about heart attacks. Anyway where was I going with this post? Oh yes winter and clothing. So snow, wet cold, hats, boots, and coats, ah yes. This morning David decided that he hates his coat, and really I don't blame him it is a big bulky coat and he looks kind of like the little brother on A Christmas Story, you know when he is all bundled up and can barley move. Then he has out grown his boots and we can't find Cam's boots. David flat refused to go to school if he had to wear "that coat". I will probably get turned in for child neglect today, because I allowed him to wear a jacket and a sweatshirt, it was so much easier than fighting with him over it. So it looks like we are off tonight to purchase new boots and coats for them, I am just glad it is Friday and we can sleep in tomorrow.

The Debate

I was impressed with our commander and chief last night. He was articulate and well spoken, and managed to keep Kerry on the defensive. I wish he had done as well in the other 2 debates. I think he showed the country that he really does know how to speak in front of a crowd. I thought there were some good questions, and good answers. I appreciate that Kerry did not bring up his "service" and he also reminded the country what a wonderful job Bush did after 911. I thought that Kerry sunk to a new low when he threw Cheney's lesbian daughter into the debate, when they were on the same sex marriage issues, and never really got weather he was for or against it. I thought Bush really got across his reasons for not supporting same sex marriages better than he ever has. I thought Kerry's idealism really stood out when he discussed the ban on automatic weapons, and said that it kept the weapons out of the hands of drug dealers, therefore keeping our police officers safer. What world does he live in? I am sure the criminals were not acquiring any guns the legal way in the first place so it didn't keep anything away from the bad guys. Bush did well when he state that Kerry voted 98 times against cutting taxes. He also did well bring up the recent elections in Afghanistan, and the first voter there was a 19 year old woman. I think that he could have defended himself better against the acquisition of "not caring about Osama Bin laden" Bush did say that, but not in the context Kerry put it. Over all I was glad I watched the debate, I have not been able to watch them, because just looking at John Kerry upsets me so much. I am hopeful that Bush will win this election, I just wish more people could see that John Kerry is a traitor to this country for the way he did things during the Vietnam War. During World War II he would have been treated as a communist, blacklisted and possible tried for his treason, and now we just let him serve as a senator and run for president.

Yesterday was busy.

I got up earlier so I could get ready to go to school with the boys. We were actually on time for once, I am always running late in the mornings. We have preschool in our public school, and it is free, but the child attending must have an adult family member do 2 hours of volunteer time a week. So I went to do my time, and I wanted to sit in with David's reading teacher when she had him. He is finally starting to understand reading, which is good. He is still not doing that well in the classroom, there are far to many distractions for him in there. The reading teacher has him all alone so he pays a lot more attention, but he still won't say "I just don't understand this." I was really impressed with Claire, the reading teacher, she does a really good job with them. She teaches him pretty much the same way I do at home, so at least we are on the same page with him, and he is getting it now and that is what is important. He said he liked it when I went to reading with him, and that made me feel really good. Then Cameron decided to he would stay for lunch so I went back to the parent room to finish up some work in there. I had to make some copies so I headed out to the teachers lounge where the copier is, and there is Cam walking down the hall with Davids teacher, and I hear him say "I can't find my mom." So I got him, and took him with me to make my copies and put some things in teachers mail boxes, then he helped me gather up all my work and take it back to the classroom, and he said "I am so glad you found me mom, I thought you didn't want me anymore and left me forever." to which I told him "I will never not want my Cameron. I love you so much." as I choked back tears and grabbed him up into my arms. Kids can break you with a few words, but he made it all better when he wrapped his little arms around my neck and said "I love you so much mom."
So we came home and Steve was here with Colton. We ended up pulling all the tomato plants out front and tilling up that patch of ground so it will be ready next year. Steve and Cam took all the bags of grass from mowing and all my tomato plants to the dump, and Colton, Jake and I went to get David. We got him home fed him some corndogs and dressed him for hockey practice and out the door we all went minus the dog. They will be picking teams on Sunday, and getting things rolling for the real year. David is ready for real practice. He told me he is getting bored with all the "baby stuff". They have about 15 kids who are just learning to skate, so they try to get them steady on their feet before they divide them up into teams.
At this age in hockey when they put them on teams they try to divide the kids who know how to play and the ones who don't so they get all the teams equal in ability. We have a new team rep this year and she has been so great already. I wish we had her last year because there were so many things I missed last year from an unorganized rep. I think that is why she is so organized, because she felt the same way as a first time hockey mom. After hockey we rushed home, did homework, ate dinner and went to bed.

Tired oh so tired.

The crud seems to be lingering at my house. We were all feeling better for a couple of days, and now we all have sore throats and plugged up heads again. I sent the boys to school anyway today, they were not running fevers, and they needed to get out of the house. Last night the boys got to watch Jaws. I hadn't seen that movie in a long time, but I remember when it came out. The boys were thoroughly impressed with the great white, and Colton now thinks we should own one, and David decided that we should never go back in the water again not even at the lake. Cam told D "it's just a movie David. That shark isn't even real, and we don't have sharks in our lake anyway." I am always amazed by his little mind it works so much like a grown up mind sometimes. Hope you all had a great weekend.

Oh yeah this is about how I feel!

Tim McGraw
Back When

Don't you remember
The fizz in a pepper
Peanuts in a bottle
At ten, two and four
A fried bologna sandwich
With mayo and tomato
Sittin' round the table
Don't happen much anymore

We got too complicated
It's all way over-rated
I like the old and out-dated
Way of life

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

I love my records
Black, shiny vinyl
Clicks and pops
And white noise
Man they sounded fine
I had my favorite stations
The ones that played them all
Country, soul and rock-and-roll
What happened to those times?

I'm readin' Street Slang For Dummies
Cause they put pop in my country
I want more for my money
The way it was back then

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

Give me a flat top for strumming
I want the whole world to be humming
Just keep it coming
The way it was back then

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

Is it cold season already?

I have a flipping cold. I woke up yesterday thinking it was allergies, but today my head is completely plugged up and the baby is too. We could have allergies, but my bet would be a cold somehow found it's way into my house and hid itself in my body, but I am a good mom I share with the boys.

Yesterday David decided that he needed to go through his tackle box, so we did. When he dad got home he had to tell his dad about it. It went something like
"Dad I got some walleye hook."
"Wow that is cool bud."
"I even have 3 hookers and if I had $50 I could get a lot more hookers."
Well Steve and I were about on the floor laughing and then Steve being the good father that he is can't help himself and he says "Oh it would probably depend on which Conner you found them on." to which David replies, "If I got them at walmart I could get a lot of 'em huh dad."
By this time I was laughing so hard my side hurt, and I had to leave the room so I didn't hurt his feeling laughing at him. Then I hear Cam tell his dad, "Can you buy me some hookers too dad?"
Steve said to them "You guys are a little young for hookers aren't you?"
David, "No we are really careful dad, because if you get them stuck in your hand it really hurts."
Then they changed the subject to getting a boat. Kids are just to funny especially when they don't try to be.

A New Hurricane

The National Weather Service has issued a warning for yet another
catastrophic hurricane following on the heels of Charley, Ivan and
Jeanne.
The path of this hurricane zigs and zags, and is therefore highly
unpredictable.
Experts predict that this one will cause the most damage to the United
States that we have experienced in four years.
They are naming this one Hurricane Kerry.
Be advised, the only way for citizens to protect themselves is by hiding
behind a Bush.


This one was for the
Trashman. I know he will enjoy it!

This is funny

For those of you that have not seen Jesse's post over at Big Daddy James American Blogger you really should check it out. It is just funny people!

here's a link go ahead and click on it.

Mom meet Jim

"Mom this is Jim." the baby says to me. I am thinking ok he has an imaginary friend isn't that cute. So being the idiot that I am I pretend to shake hands with Jim. The baby looks at me like I have lost my mind. I am dumbfound at this point, then the lovely little child hold up a tiny piece of plastic and state in all seriousness "This is Jim right here mom can he come to school with us?"
"Why sure honey." I try to hold back the giggles.
"Come on Jim mom says you can go with us."
So the 6 of us, including Jim and the dog, get in the van and off to school we go. We get home and I ask "what happened to Jim?"
"He decided he wanted to stay at the park so I threw him out the window. It's ok because I have real friends anyway."
I have decided that I am not to sure if I want to be friends with the baby you never know when he will throw me out the window!

Hockey was good

Well we got off to hockey and David skated very well. He is one of the older kids this year, next year he will move up an age group. Cam has decided he wants to play, but I don't know if I will let him play this year or wait until next year. He has to understand if I am going to dole out that kind of cash he has to finish the whole season. So I may see if I can get him on the ice once to see if he likes it and if he doesn't then I won't sign him up, but if he does then I will. I will talk to the coach tomorrow and see if we can do that. I am sure he will want to play once he is out there, but I don't want to throw away a hundred bucks either. Colton wants to play and there is no doubt that he would finish the season, but he is still to young, you have to be 4 and he is only 3.
On another note the Vice President is coming home. He will be here for a big fund raiser, of which I won't be attending as I don't know who would pay $1000 to look at Dick. For those of you that didn't know Mr. Cheney and his wife are from Casper, where they raised 2 daughters one of which is a lesbian, ironic isn't it. I won't be going anywhere the day he is here as they will have the whole town staked out, like they did in July when he and Lynne came home for their class reunion, costing tax payers a lot more money than they will make from the little fund raiser.

Hockey

Yes while all of you are sad that there has been no hockey, I am preparing to watch my oldest get back on the ice. Tonight is the first night back for my little hockey player. He was so excited last night that he could hardly sleep. He just kept telling everyone who would listen, "I have hockey tomorrow" He had to call his grandparents and tell them, and when dad got home from work he had to tell him. He informed me this morning that I should have all his gear out and ready when he gets home from school. I should have gotten his skates sharpened, but I forgot! So he will have to skate on dull edges tonight and then I will leave them at the rink for sharpening. He actually needs new skates. Me and mom were going to go to Denver this year, but we never made it so I guess my web search for skates is back on! Cam decided that he didn't want to play hockey, but Colton wants to, he has to be 4 before he can play so next year he will get to. Well I am off to do some laundry and make sure all his gear is in his bag!

I don't wanna go to school.

I heard this from both of my boys this morning. David is getting to the point he would rather stay home everyday. Cam usually likes school, but this morning he didn't want to go, and then once we got there he didn't want to get out of the van. It is always hard to leave them when they are like that. I got a note from D's teacher that said he is very unfocused and isn't getting his work done. I have yet to go by his class where there isn't total chaos going on in there, so of course he is unfocused. David needs a structured environment to learn in. You can't have all the distractions or he isn't going to get stuff finished. In my day we went to school we sat in our desks quietly and the teacher taught us. I go to the boys school and look in Davids class. There are 20 kids running around and lots of noise, and she says he is unfocused. I would be unfocused too! What happened to structure? What happened to sit and learn? I am sure that some kids do fine in an unruly, loud, classroom, but I know mine won't. He needs quiet learning time. He goes to the reading teacher now, and he went from not reading at all to reading level 3 books in a 2 week time, she offers structure in her room. It is quiet and he can think about what she is telling him. There are to many distraction in the classroom for him, and I am sure that he isn't the only one. I would be the same way if you put me in a room with 20 kids and all kinds of stuff going on I am not going to finish something I don't find interesting when someone across the room is doing something I would rather be doing. I think there is a time and a place for fun even in the classroom, but there is a time for learning, that is what I send my children to school for, to learn. It is the teachers job to make sure they accomplish this, it is their job to make sure that each child leaves their class with the knowledge they need to move on. So now I have to go in and tell this teacher that it is her fault that he isn't focused. I have to go in and tell her that she and the school district are the ones that are failing, not my child. I find this distressing, I find it distressing that she sends notes saying he is unfocused, and doesn't take the time to get his attention. I know she has 20 kids in her room, but I think that if they put a stop to all the chaos and noise these kids would actually be accomplishing something and learning. I will have to go in and talk to her before I make a judgment call, but if I were a teacher I would see it as a personal failure if one child left my class not understanding everything I was in charge of teaching them. I don't want him to hate school, but I am not sending him there to play games and make noise I am sending him there to learn, and if they can't teach him then I will have to do something else. I don't know what that will be at this point, but I will figure it out.

UPDATE:
Just got a call from D's teacher. She is going to work more with him on a one on one basis and he is going to keep going to his reading class. We will see where he is at the end of this quarter. I don't know what to do with him. She said he is always well behaved and there is never a struggle with him like I have with him, but he is just not caughting on. She did says he works better in a small group or one on one, but I know she can't devote all her attention to him, I don't know what to do for him.

This is Jake.

Jake is a diabetic. He requires 2 shots of insulin a day. He is my baby really. He sleeps with me and goes with me to take the boys to school and pick them up. He understands me more than anyone, and sometimes I feel like he is the only one in the world who really loves me just because I am me. He knows that sometimes I will forget to feed him, so he will bring me his dish set it at my feet and look at me. He knows that at 10 am and 10 pm he has to eat and have a shot, and he knows that he has to help remind me that it is time. He doesn't hold it against me that I forget, he doesn't get mad at me when I look at him and say "you are such a pain!" He just looks at me with nothing but love in his eyes and if I could read his mind he would probably be saying "I know mom, but you love me, and I love you so lets just feed little dog his dinner!" He has had a bad knee from falling down the stairs when he was about a year old, it was slick on the stairs and he twisted it pretty good, and now with age he has developed some arthritis and can't get down the back stairs hardly at all, they scare him because he stumbles and falls down them now. So I take him out the front door around to the gate and let him in the back yard when he wants to go outside, and I go and get him when he is ready to come back in. He is spoiled rotten, the other 2 are almost as spoiled, but not quite as much as Jakeie dog. When you tell him "I love you" he has to kiss you, and he thinks that he can sit in your lap while your driving. He weights 92 lbs so he isn't exactly holdable. He loves the boys and he loves Steve. He will get up in the morning and visit with Steve and then he jumps back in bed with me, he loves Steves spot in the bed, really he would be perfectly happy if Steve would just stay out of the bed. He gets up and puts his head on Steves pillow and then he throws his leg over me and that is how we stay until it is time to get up.
Man I love him and I know he loves me.

Pirates of the Mississippi
Feed Jake

I'm standing at the crossroads in life, and I don't know where to go.
You know you've got my heart babe, but my music's got my soul.
Let me play it one more time, I'll tell the truth and make it rhyme,
And hope they understand me.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake, feed Jake, he's been a good dog,
My best friend right through it all, if I die before I wake,
Feed Jake

Now Broadway's like a sewer, bums and hookers everywhere.
Whino's passed out on the side walk, doesn't anybody care.
Some say he's worthless, just let him be.
But I for one would have to disagree.
And so would their mama.

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake, feed Jake, he's been a good dog,
My best friend right through it all, if I die before I wake,
Feed Jake

If you get an ear pierced, some will call you gay.
But if you drive a pick-up, they'll say 'No, he must be straight.'
What we are and what we ain't, what we can and what we can't,
Does it really matter?

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I die before I wake, feed Jake, he's been a good dog,
My best friend right through it all, if I die before I wake,
Feed Jake
If I die before I wake, feed Jake