Tired

Colton has become a perment fixture in my bed the last couple of nights. I put him in his bed tuck them all up and a few hours later I go to get in my bed, and there he is stretched out in the middle. Now out of all 3 of the boys he is the worst to sleep with. If he gets hot he assumes everyone is hot and pushs the covers into the floor. If he is cold he thinks everyone is cold and piles lots of blanket on everyone. He never sleeps in one spot, he roams all over the bed like he is searching for something that has been lost for a long time. Then after hours of this he finally settles down. He gets sideways in the bed, props both legs in the middle of my back and begins to snore softly. I move his legs off me, scoot him back to Steve's side of the bed and try once again to go to sleep. It last about 3 minutes before he is right back in the same position. I love him, but he is going to have to go right back in with his brothers tonight, no matter how many times I have to move him there. I don't understand how they sleep with him, and manage to actually get any rest, because I sure don't.

I am glad school is almost out. Colton only has 4 more days and then he is mine for the summer! The 31st is track day for the other 2 so we will be doing that, and then June 2nd is their last day! I don't know how it went by so fast, but it seems the older I get the faster the days go by. I am ready for summer with the boys. I miss them when they are at school all day. I don't know what I am going to do when Colton goes to school all day next year. That is going to really suck. I am thinking I will be getting me a job to pass the time. I will go insane sitting here all day waiting for the boys to get home.

Steve has been working working and working some more. He got promoted to a tech so he doesn't have to drive the big trucks anymore. He is happier I think, but he will be gone just as much or more now. I am going to have to get a boyfriend to do all the stuff around this house that I need Steve to do. I'm pretty sure that Steve would enjoy coming home to everything being fixed that needs fixed and the lawn mowed, and all that.

Mommy

One thing I never in my life thought I would ever be called was mom. I never felt that I would be a good mom. Children require a lot of attention and a lot of care, and anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I barely take care of myself. The thought of being responsible for another life still terrifies me. It is my job to make sure I raise them to be productive memebers of society. I am responsible for everything they do, not to meantion their day to day care, and it's a big job. I still don't think I am a good mom, but I do the best I can do. I get them to school on time, I get them feed, I get them to their events on time. I try my best to teach them good manners, how to behave in public, and all that. Sometimes it works and other times I am tired and frustrated from having to tell them over and over again. It just comes with having 3 boys there will be times they make me feel like an utter failure. The one think I am excellent as a mother at, the one thing that I can never fail at or mess up is loving them. I never thought it was possible to love another human the way I love the boys. I like most moms would die or kill for my children. They are the only reason in this world worth getting out of bed everyday for. I often wonder what I did before I had children, what did I live for? My life really had no purpose before them, but now that I have them I am scared that my life will again have no purpose when they all grow up and leave me. I will be stuck all alone with no one to yell at, no one to say "pick that up" to a hundrend times. No one to tuck in at night and read stories to, and hold and hug and kiss and play with. I will once again be all alone with no purpose in life, and that thought terrifies me beyond belief, because although I never ever planned for kids in my life I got them and they changed the entire meaning of my life. The wonderful thing about that is they changed it for the better.

Happy Mother's day to all the mom's out there.

Headlines

Most days I don't even read the newpaper. There are just to many depressing things in there, but this morning I was browsing our local online news and a couple articles caught my attention.


First this one parents want to raise the drop out age to 18. Right now our current drop out age is 16, but a child can drop out and no one has to notify the parents. The parents are out of the loop totally. I am legally responsible for my children until they are 18 years old unless they are emacapated by the court, but yet they can drop out of school at 16 and they don't even have to tell me. I am all for changing the age to 18, and if a child wants to drop out before that I think that there needs to be a lot of parent involvement. What options do these kids have once they leave school without that diploma? A big happy future of flipping burgers at Micky D's is about where their lives are going. Our rule in our house is simple if you want to live here rent free then you will be in school or move the hell out and support yourself!


This one is a little more heated. There are many reasons this article gets me. This kid wants his gun rights back, because in his youth he had one domestic violence charge his gun rights were taken away. The great state of Wyoming looked at his record and he met all the demands for having it expongued. We are willing to give his gun rights back to him. It should be a done deal right there. Nope the federal government has to step in and say they will not recognize the Wyoming law. I have a problem with the whole domestic violence laws in the first place. I think the only time the cops should be called to my house for domestic violence is if I call them. That is not how it is the neighbors can over hear a fight Steve and I are having and they can call them, then I don't have to press charges that is left to the responding officers discreation. So I smack Steve in a heated arguement and there is a slap mark on his face and I go off to jail and lose my gun rights from that moment on. I understand why the law is that way, there were far to many domestic calls and to many women getting the crap knocked out of them and when the police got there the woman was the one screaming at the cops not to take their wonderful woman beating man to jail. She wouldn't press charges and 6 months later he beat her so badly she ended up in the hospital or worse dead. I am not saying that it is an unjust law, I'm just saying it doesn't fit all domestic calls. Anyway back to the topic.

The federal government needs to step off. It should not be their call when it is a state matter. It's that simple. Our state has decided that what happened in this boys youth should not follow him into his adult life, and they need to respect that.

DELETE

That is all I seem to be doing over the past week, deleting. I have started a dozen or more posts and nothing seemed to work. So just a general what's going on post will have to do.

Can everyone say over extended. Yep that is the story of my life with 3 boys who all want to be involved in something. Colton is in the middle of his soccer season. He loves it, or more he loves going. I don't think I will ever become a full fledge soccer mom. He is more interested in playing with the other kids. Last night he just wanted to get to the giving out treats because it was his turn to bring them. I had to run the other 2 to swim lessons, because they started 5 mintues before soccor was over. Steve stayed with Colton while I took D and Cam man to swimming. While I was getting Cam undressed I somehow managed to dislocate my pinky finger, yes it hurts like a son of a bitch... but I got them all in the water and in comes Colton and Steve and I quickly start yanking off Colton's cloths so he can swim. We were suppose to have swimming on monday and wednesday, but the classes were full so we got stuck in the tuesday and thursday class. Oh well such is life.

Steve has been gone a lot, but with the price of oil at $72.69 it is expected. The top five ways you can tell the price of oil is up when you live in wyoming:

5: Everywhere you look they are building something.
4: Everyone is driving new cars.
3: All the people you know are moving into a bigger house.
2: Milk is almost $3.00 a gallon.
1: Every other licensen plate you see is from Texas or Oklahoma.

Steve is making good money right now with tons of overtime. I don't think anyone remembers the end of the last oil boom however. I see all these brand new houses going up and they are sold as fast as they are built, and when this little boom is over it is going to leave a lot of people out of work and a lot of houses going back to the bank. That is the way things work in a boom or bust ecomony. We live on natural resources here, and that means either things or good or things are not so good. I hope that this boom last for a long while, it means money in our house, but I am not stupid enough to think it will last forever or even long enough for us to pay off a 200 thousand dollar home.


My granny has been ill lately and that really worries me. I think that my grandparents need to move here or at least to Wright with my mom. They are at the age where they need someone to look out for them. I can't move there, because Steve's got a good job here. Mom can't move there, because dad has a good job where he is at. They are retired so the smart thing would be to move them to mom's, but they won't go. They are to independent and set in their ways. I wish they would just listen and let someone take care of them. Mom has been reduced to tears several times, because she doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to tell her, because there is nothing she really can do.

I am off to finish the laundry and clean the guinea pig cage. Hopefully I'll have something worth while to post soon.

The abduction

I first hear these strange voices, they sound like squeeks and purrs. Then a warm light surrounds me as I am lifted from my bed and tranported into this room that looks a lot like my living room, but it's bigger, there is no tv or computer and the furniture is much newer so I know it isn't my living room. I am standing there trying to force my eyes to focus when I realieze that I am surrounded by some strange aliens. That is when I flip out. I start asking if anyone speaks english, and this thing floats over to me and tells me to settle down. I go off at that point, and I can still remember the words I said.

"Just settle down. What the hell, you take me from my bed and I'm suppose to settle down. I have 3 kids down there that are all alone now you transport me right back to where you got me or I'm going to knock the crap out of you." the whole room went silent and I said "NOW!"

"OK OK settle down."

Then I woke up and the guinea pigs where having a fight making a whole lot of noise. So I don't know if they ever transported me back or not damn aliens! I did not know that they make the same sounds as guinea pigs only louder.

Yesterday Colton came running into the house crying with his nose and forehead all skinned up.

"Oh baby what happened?" I say to him.
"I can't tell you, cause you'll be angry!" his little voice quivered.

At least he didn't lie to me! He was jumping off the neighbors porch and he had been in trouble 2 times already for it. He kind of gave it away when he said I'd be angry.

Well you know...

Yesterday was spent at school helping in the classrooms. If you have never taken the time to spend with 20 4 and 5 year olds you should it is great fun. I am sure I create more chaos then I actually help, because I'm all about the fun! I have found that if you want a child to respond all you really have to do is act interested, which isn't that big of job for me I am interested in what they are learning.

So I played a game with the kindergarteners. They all did very well and we had a good time. Then I ran next door to Colton's class. It was his birthday and we brought cupcakes for the class to share. Well Colton likes pretty things, pretty flowers, pretty pictures, and especially pretty girls. Him and the teachers daughter have had a very close relationship all year. They are best friends. So I get to Colton's class and she informs me that when her and Colton get big they are going to get married, live in a castle, and have 10 kids. Colton is just nodding his head, and then he says "yesterday we were kissing in the hall" very matter of factly.

Colton had decided a long time ago he would be marrying her up. He thinks she is great! I'm pretty fond of her myself, she is a little doll.

Spoiled Rotten

The alarm went off and I threw back the cover, and stumbled to the kitchen.

"What kind of cereal do you guys want." I asked that because I'm a good mom, and want to send them off with full bellys. Hey I didn't say I was a great mom who sent them off with a well balanced meal, but they were feed anyway.

I got three different orders, which is the nice thing about cereal it comes in many different flavors so everyone is happy. Well I get out the paper bowls, because I am tired of digging in the trash for the good bowl, yes Colton throws the bowl, spoon, and all away no matter what I try I can't get it across to him not to, but anyway I place the correct cerals in each bowl and stuff in the plastic spoons. I reach into the fridge and pull out the milk. I am still half asleep and have not had my coffee yet, and I pour the milk into the bowls. Seconds later I am hit with this awful smell. What the hell is it... on my god it is really gross I am thinking and I pick up the cereal think I need to get the boys fed so I can investageate the source. My stomachs lurches as the bowls get closer to me and it dawns on me that the source is the cereal or more exact the milk. I tossed all the bowls into the trash grabbed the milk out of the fridge where I had returned it and look at the date, Mar 29 it says. Well hell I just opened the damn thing yesterday, and I just bought it last week. How can you buy milk in the middle of april with a March experation date! I quickly check the other 2 gallons I bought and they were both good.

Needless to say I had to make breakfast twice this morning.

So I am all out of blog topics... got one? Leave me a comment and I'll try my best to fulfil your requests. I am desperate people I'll take just about anything.

5 days with the boys

The boys have been on Easter break. They are driving me insane with their fighting and bickering. It has been lovely weather so they have been getting to play outside. I got the pleasure of a knee injury playing football, and twisted my ankle slipping in the bubbles they spilled in the kitchen floor. I don't know if I'll make it through the summer.

Saturday night about midnight, the cops showed up at the neighbors house. I have no clue why. I just know that their little girl is more than welcome to play here, but the boys are not to set foot in their house! Anyway as they were leaving we hear bang bang bang. I thought shit they are having a shoot out next door and I went to the window to have a look and I see fireworks shooting off over the houses across the street. Then comes a knock on the door. Steve answers it and it is the cops wondering if we happened to hear the gun shots. How the heck did they miss the flashes of lights in the sky? There were about 12 of them that went off.

Colton started soccer and he loves it. He has his first game on Tuesday, and he is asking me everyday if it is Tuesday.

Why?

10 year old black lab female. Owners had to move and could not take her with them. House broke, affectionate, good with children and other pets.

Now how the hell do you move and leave your 10 year old dog behind? I would have given anything to have another year with Doc his healthy happy self. I mean lets face it I spent 1700 buck in 5 days trying to make that happen. I guess there are people who have dogs, and then there are people who love their dogs.

Steve works with this guy from another state. He just got out of the military and his wife is still in the old state. He came here for a job, and she stayed saying she was going to let the kids finish school there. He ends up sleeping in his car and not eating because he is sending all his money to the wife and kids, and they can't afford 2 rent payments.

My view is that if she truly loved him and wanted to make a life with him she would have packed up the kids and gone with her husband so that he could support her. If Steve got transfered somewhere else I'd be packing boxes right now there wouldn't be any I may come up later. She has not come up one weekend to see him and she is only about 5 hours away. How do you justify your husband, who is paying your way, sleeping in his car to make sure you still have a roof over your head. That is sad.

Their is a new little boy in Colton's class at school. He doesn't have any friends, because as Colton says "he is a whine bag and no one wants to play with a whine bag. He gives me a headache!" I have seen the child 2 times and the on both occassions he has been a whine bag. He gave me a headache too!

Why does his mother put up with such behavior? I wouldn't let my kids get away with that. Mine get in a whiny mood and they get sent to bed, because I am not going to listen to that crap. At least we know where Colton gets it!

Steve wanted to throw Doc's ashes in the back yard! What the hell is up with that? Doc never went outside unless he had to. He perfered to be in the house. It was always warmer or cooler in the house than outside. Not to meantion there are not any beds or couches to lay on outside.

Still I'd rather have his ashes sprinkled in the back yard than have had him stuffed and sitting in the living room. That is what David said we should have done with him. I think we are keeping him right where he is on top of the tv where I can talk to him whenever I want to.

I was reading some of those email meme things today and I got one with the question "your house is on fire what are the things you make sure you get out?"
My kids, the dogs, the guinea pigs, and doc's ashes. Those are the only things that really matter when it come right down to it. Everything else is replacable or not worth risking my life to save.

swimming against the current

It's been really difficult getting past the whole Doc experience. I have not wanted to do anything especially blog. I am behind on everyones lives! I am gonna try to get caught up on that as well as laundry today. Anyone who has children will laugh at that last bit there. It is simply impossible to keep the laundry done. It seems like I spend days washing and drying clothes only to find an even larger pile waiting for me the next morning. Then David has out grown all his pants, which baffles me because they fit him a month ago and now they are all to short and to tight. He looks like he is wearing Colton's pants. Cam use to share pants with Colton, but now he can wear the ones D is growning out of and I had to dig around in the hand me down boxes to find bigger ones for Colton. Which means I have even more laundry to mess with now, because I have to go through and sort all the ones that don't fit anybody anymore. It won't be long before they are all wearing Steve's jeans!

The boys started swimming lessons on Monday. Cam and Colton love it, but David isn't so keen on them. He wants to get in the water and play around, but he really doesn't care about learning to really swim.

Colton starts soccer the 18th of this month. He hates ice skating so I don't have to worry about dishing out the funds for him to play hockey! He is just kind of looking around to figure out what his sport is. That is what he told me anyway, so I hope he likes soccer. It is much cheaper than hockey or baseball.

I get my garden back this summer. Last summer they were working on the siding and I couldn't have it. I really missed walking out and picking some tomatoes for lunch. This year I am planking okra. I have no clue if it will even grow here, but I figured I'd give it a try. There is nothing like fried okra it's better than candy. So I got my little trays to start everything inside this year. Usually I just go buy starter plants, but I was over excited about actually having fresh veggies that I had to get them started now!

The guinea pigs have not left the house again. So I think the boys got the message not to take them outside. At least I hope they did! Buddy dog is still terrified of them. He is pretty sure that they could eat him up within seconds! Jake could careless about them one way or the other.

No one listens to me!

8:30 this morning they started in.

"Mom can we take the guinea pigs outside." they yelled.
"NO DO NOT TAKE THEM OUT!" I yell from my bed.

I lay there a few minutes thinking man why can't these children sleep in. Next I hear the front door open. I get out of bed, throw on some sweatpants, wonder in make my coffee, go pee, sit down and check my emails, go back in and get my cup of coffee. Then I open the window and see the boys are both under the car that is parked in the street.

"What are you boys doing?" I yell.
"Speedy is under the car and we can't get him."
"Jesus Fing christ! What the hell where you guys thinking? Did you not hear me tell you not to take them out?"
Silence.
"Well did you hear me say that or not?"
"Well Cameron said..."
"I don't care who said what. I care that neither one of you listened to me!"

Speedy heard me and he started to emerge from his hiding spot. David quickly grabbed him up and brought him into the house. As he is heading up the stairs I hear Cam yell "Fireball is gone!"

He comes running in "Fireball jumpped out of the wagon and he is gone!"

So I spent the next four hours trying to find the damn guinea pig. I finally called off the search and with all the cats in this neighborhood I seriously doubt he will make it through the night unless he can find a really good hiding spot, but I am sure even if the cats don't get him he won't be coming back to this house. If I didn't find him after 4 hours I don't think there is any hope. I put out some boxes with food in them hopeing that will entice him and he will come back.

I have not been a happy mom today!

UPDATE:
I was standing out talking to my neighbor about the new neighbors we just got. Apparently the man just got out of the pen and they are known crank heads! I may have a little on the side work for Jack!

Well anyway as I was standing there I notice her cat chasing something in the bushes. I yelled the guinea pig and both of us took off as fast as we could she snatched the little fur ball up and he is home safe and sound now!

Fancy talk

David had another IEP and I went for the meeting today. He still doesn't have any learning disabilities. The base scores are set at 90 and he scores above that on everything but fluency. I think the majority of D's problems are the same as mine. He just doesn't speak the same language as everyone else, but no one has discovered the language we do speak. It sounds the same as everyone else, and looks the same, but it is very different. Until someone can tell him in a way that will make it click in his brain he will have to learn it himself. I learned that early in my education. I had to teach myself in school, because I didn't have a clue what the teachers were trying to tell me half the time.

English was my worst subject, until 9th grade. In 9th grade I was lucky to have a teacher that knew how to teach. Mrs. McKenzie, she was a tiny little thing, maybe 5 feet tall on her tip toes. She always had a cup of tea on her desk. She would not stand for any crap in her classroom, and everyone knew it. She was very old school, even back then. I think most of the kids were intimidated by her, but I flourished in her class room. I actually learned things that I didn't think I was capable of learning when I went to English class. She would give me reasons why this was this way or that was that way. I loved turning my homework in to her, because it would come back with notes all over it. She would explain why something was wrong, and she would give me examples. For everything she found wrong she found something right, so I would have a page full of red ink with positive and negative feedback that I desperately needed. Up until that point I had just gone with what I did know, but she gave me the courage to try new things. She never made me feel like she was judging me, and that is the way I had felt through school. She was a very intuitive teacher. She understood how the learning process worked for me, and she used that to teach me. I was never lucky enough to have another teacher like her, one that could actually teach me in a way I could understand. I hope that one day D finds a teacher like her. One that makes things a lot clearer for him.

Dear Doc,

It has been a week since your passings, and I am still having trouble moving on. I miss you more than I have ever missed anything in my life. I cry at the drop of a hat, because something will remind me of you. I miss our snuggle ups in the afternoon. Dinner time is awful for me and your brothers, because it just doesn't feel right. I look at the little guinea pigs and think how you would have liked them. You like all small creatures, and thought you could befriend them all. I will never forget when you tried to adopt that kitten. My heart is just so broken and life is so unfair. You have always been a part of this life I have now, and I don't know how to go on without you here. I take the boys to school and you are not standing at the top of the stairs to greet me when I get back, and I get sad. The vet called and said your remains are ready to pick up and I just can't seem to get the courage to go and get you. I just can't go there yet. Cam wants you to come home, and they all three miss you so much. I miss kissing your head goodnight, and the way you would push your head against mine and hugged me and always had to make noise. I miss the little things I always took for granted like how you would alway help Jake find the dog dishes or you would take Buddy outside at night even if you didn't have to go. I miss you foot lickings, and your soft ears, and the way you listened to me like I was important. Mostly I miss your friendship big dog it was truly the kind you only find once in a life time. I know that time will help to heal my broken heart, but this isn't an easy road. I love you big dog and I hope you always knew that.

Can we all say Allgeries!

My eyes have itched since we got the fur creatures, but thankfully I have eye drops that helps keep that under control. My head is stuffy like it's springtime in an alfalfa field, but my allgery pills help for that. The problem seems to be the hay. Guinea Pigs and hay go together like milk and chocolate chip cookies. You really can't have one without the other. They eat it, they play in it, they walk in it and then they walk on me. I have developed a red bumpy rash every where their little feet have touched my skin, and their tiny furry bodies have rubbed against me. They all three like to get behind my hair against the back of my neck, and under my chin to snuggle in and get petted. I itch like a dog with fleas. So now what am I suppose to do? I can't really get rid of the little piggies. The boys would be crushed, so I guess I will just have to quit letting them crawl on me, which I don't know if I can really do, because they are so cute and snuggly. I think I am destine to go insane from itching!

soft and fuzzy

The little critters below are guinea pigs. They are all just babies or so the pet store told us. They are suppose to be all boys, because they will mate and mate and mate... I am pretty sure they didn't mess up sexing them, because I threatened bodily harm if we ended up with a cage full of babies!

David was very sad with the passing of big dog, and he wanted to get a new puppy. I can't do a new puppy. My heart just isn't in to getting a new puppy. Right now I don't ever want to get another dog. You just grow to attached to them, and it hurts to badly to lose them. So we started looking up pets on the internet and found guinea pigs. They are not suppose to bite, they are very social, and they are easy to take care of. So we sat down and gathered information on these little guys. They are orginally from South America where they are grown as a food source in some areas. They can be litter box trianed, and they are much cleaner than hamsters. They really don't have any smell to them. You can brush them and bath them. They eat lots of leafy greens and other veggies and fruits along with hay and pellets. We had to build them a special cage, because the pet store ones are really just to small from them. They like to have a lot of space to run and play and chase each other, and they also like to be held and petted, at least 2 of the 3 do. Speedy likes to explore, but when he gets tired he goes and crawls into Coltons lap. I thought he would be timid of Colton because he is just a little kid, but they have developed a bond. However him and I have no bond what so ever. He likes to bite me. It doesn't really hurt that much when he chomps down, but I don't think he likes me very much and all I have done is be gentle with him. Colton on the other hand squeals when he runs up his shirt and gets a little rough with him, not overly rough where he will hurt him, but he chases him around with his hand and it is just funny to watch the 2 of them. Now the other two they see me and they come running to me to snuggle up against my neck and purr at me. The more I talk to them and the more I pet them the louder and longer they purr at me. The boys will set still and watch tv and the little fur balls will stretch out against them and take little naps. I didn't think that I would get very attached to them, because we had hamsters when I was a kid and they just didn't bond with you. These things they really develop a bond. Tank eats from your hand and everything.

They have in no way taken the place that Doc held in our hearts and home, but I think that they have been great at taking everyones mind off of everything. I still have certian times during the day that I break down and bawl, but I am getting better every day.

and they talk

Meet Speedy



Here's Fireball


This is tank

In loving Memory

Doc was almost 2 when Steve and I started dating. I think he was probably the main reason I kept coming back over. We developed an instant bond, me and this four legged furry creature. He would whine at the top of the stairs when I had to leave for work. I would come over after work and Doc would leap from the top stair and I would have to catch him, which wasn't easy considering he was over 100 pounds. I often wonder how I managed to get pregnant with David in the first place, because Doc was always in the middle of Steve and I. I would get into bed and he would snuggle his back against me and we would drift off to sleep together. While I was pregnant with David I would prop my belly against him. I think Doc was the first one to feel David move. He stopped jumping off the stairs then too, and would just bound down them to great me. After David was born Doc got responsibility. I swear he thought we were horrible parents. D would go down for his nap and Big Dog would pace between the crib and me, or lay in the hall and moan and whine. He wasn't happy unless that baby was close to all of us. I would put David down in the bouncy chair and Doc would lay with his head on the baby. Sometimes he would just look at me and sigh, and I am pretty sure he was thinking "It's a damn good thing you have me around to raise this kid, because you just suck!" He grew more comfortable with my mothering skills with the next 2, but he was still protective of them.

Doc knew all my secrets, my fears, my hopes, and my dreams. I told him everything, because he was my best friend. He listened when I was sad, he hovered over me when I was sick. He was joyous when I was happy. Doc took a part of me with him today, a part of my heart that I freely gave him over the last 9 years. Thankfully he gave me a part of his heart to keep with me forever. I will miss you more than you know my big dog, and I will always love you.

It's been a long hard week

I am going to go get Doc tomorrow. I will be bringing him home to spend one last night with us. I can't stand the thought of his last night being spend away from everything he has ever known. They are leaning toward pancratic cancer, because he is just not doing any better. They have been through several different things and nothing is working for him. Well I shouldn't really say that he starts to get a little better and then just gets sick again. I need to step up and do what is best for my baby and it is the hardest thing I have ever done.

Doc

I loaded Doc in the van, bawling all the way to the vets office knowing that he was not coming home with me. We get there and they help me get him back to the room. I sit crying hesterically on the floor with Doc's head on my leg. Our normal vet was off yesterday and we saw one of the others in the office. She was a very nice lady, who I really like. She didn't just treat Doc she treated me as well. I told her I didn't think it was a pinched nerve or nerve damage making him not walk I told her I thought it was something internal. She knew that I had come into that office with ever intention of doing what was best for my baby. The more I talked to her the more she listened and then she said "Let me get a blood draw on him." She took blood, went back to have it tested, and I sat and waited with Doc. About 15 minutes later she comes back and says "I think this big guy has pancreitis." Everything seemed to point to that. So she got a bed ready in the hospital ward, and they hooked him to the IV's and I left him in their care. She called this morning and by no means is he completely out of the woods but everything is looking a whole lot better today. I am fixing him some chicken bites and rice to take down so that when he can eat again they will have something there that he likes to eat. I am very hopeful that he is going to get to come home next week! Thank you all for keeping him in your thoughts and prays!

Nine years

It isn't very much time when you think about it. Nine years goes by in the blink of an eye. I kept hoping that the pills they put Doc on would kick in and he would start getting better, but if anything he has gotten worse. I take him outside to pee and I have to hold him up so he doesn't fall down now. He doesn't even try to get up off the floor without my help now. I don't think there is much they can do for him honestly and I know that putting him down will be one of the only options I have when I take him back to the vet tomorrow. It's funny how a dog can become so important in our lives. Doc was 2 when I moved in with Steve, and it was love at first sight. That is how it is with Doc he just loves you with all he has. He is 11 which they say is pretty old for such a large dog. I know that this house is going to be very empty without him in it. I am looking for a mircle right now, in a place where no mircles exist.

Odds and ends

The hockey season is almost over, and I am overjoyed. With 2 of them playing this year seemed extra long. D man has one more game on tuesday and Cam has his awards night that same night. D will have his awards night on thursday and we are done for the year! Cam isn't ready for the season to be over and David is experiencing a little burn out. He said he isn't sure if he will play next year or not. I think part of that comes from his little brother playing and playing so well. David isn't the only star in the family anymore. I hope that he plays he has a passion for it, David plays with all his heart in the game most of the time. The only reason I would want him to quit playing is if he didn't love the game anymore.

Something is wrong with our oldest lab. He can hardly get up and walk. He is getting up there in age and I am worried that they won't be able to fix him. He has been getting stiffer and stiffer over the last year, but this isn't like stiffeness. It is almost like he has pinched a nerve in his back or something.

I have had a headache for about 3 weeks now, not one of those dull achey headaches this is a strange headache. I may go to the dr someday about it.

The boys start swimming lessons and soccer next month. I will have a whole 3 weeks between things going on. I think Colton is the only one playing soccer.

I am so ready for school to be out. The weather is slowly starting to get warmer and the days are getting longer and I would much rather be playing outside with them instead of making them go to school all day.

David is going through another round of IEP testing. He is doing a lot better this year, but he is still behind most of the kids in his class. The thing his teachers have noticed this year is that he trys harder than most of the kids in his class to get it. He puts a lot of stress on himself. I think that is part of his problem. I feel so sorry for him struggling with it.

back through the years

We were all sitting around watching animal planet the other night, when a picture of a goat popped up on the screen. One of the boys made a comment that we should get us a goat. Now my experience with goats is limited, and there is a reason why I enjoy keeping it that way. It all started when I was a young girl. We were attending a family reunion in Colorado Spring. We discover a little place called Santa's workshop or as I like to call it the place of the evil child eating goats. We got our tickets, which were very much like the lift tickets you get when sking.

So there we are wondering around this little place and we come upon this pen full of cute little goats. There must of been about 100 of these awful devil creatures lurking about the pen. Oh they knew the game all to well standing there looking all innocent and friendly. My Aunt, sister, mom, and I all wander in to feed and pet them. They were excellent hunters, stalking their prey, waiting for just the right moment to strike, my mom and sister left first followed closely by my aunt, and that is when it happened. The gate swung shut behind her and the goats made their move swarming around me, pushing and crowding. They began taking bites out of my ticket, my coat, my hair, and anything else they could put in their mouths. I struggled to get away from them, trying to push them away from me, but the more I pushed forward the more they pushed me back. Finally my aunt notices that I am no longer with the group and turns to see that I am about to be goat lunch. She yelled to my mother, and came charging in to rescue me from these deranged child eating goats. I will forever be greatful to her for saving my life that day! We quickly put the goat pen behind us and moved on to some rides. We get to the first one and I say I can't go they ate my ticket. So mom tells the guy what happened and he goes "yeah they do that all the time." My aunt and my mom were horrified that they let people in with man eating goats. All I could think was I wonder how many children they actually eat before someone noticed they are gone, cause at the rate they were chewing on me they could had me devoured bones and all in about 3 minutes!

Cold and flu

So the boys gave me their sick. Yesterday I layed on couch slatered in vicks, running a fever, coughing and miserable. I didn't really know how sick I was until Cam got home from school and said to me:
"You smell funny mom."
"What do I smell like honey?" thinking I hadn't done much of anything to smell to bad.
"You smell like minty dead people."
I was much worse than I thought! So later I told them I was going to go take a shower and then cook them dinner to which Cam replies "It's ok if our food stinks mom. I know you don't feel good."
I thought that was very kind of him considering I was knocking on deaths door!

What happened to the paddle?

When I was a child I never got sent to the principles office, not once. I was scared to death to do anything that might put me there. See when I was a child there were consequence for your actions, and the bigger the action the worse the consequence. Well a few weeks ago Mr. Colton was being an awful child. He was smart mouthing his teachers sticking his tongue out and just being horrible. His teacher, who is also a friend of mine, sent him to the office. When I went to pick him up she came out and told me what went on, and Colton knew he was in for it when he got home.

I told her the next time he does that to call me and I will handle it right then and there. Now at 4 he has already learned that being sent to the office means you sit on the bench for awhile. That is the punishment you get, a time out so to speak. I am not a big fan of the time out. It has never worked with any of my boys. I can tell you that not one of them enjoy a swat on the butt, and they have all gotten them. Spanking a child is an art that most parents have mastered I am sure, and there is a wide gaping hole between a spanking and abuse. I have never abused my boys. I have left them with a stinging butt check, just enough to get their attention.

So what did my 4 year old learn from his office trip? You don't have to worry about getting into trouble until mom finds out. Now if they had taken him into the principles office and that big wooden paddle was hanging on the wall, and they had explained that the next time he was going to get a spanking with it the chances of a next time get pretty slim.

Now I know that some parents are going to say "I don't want anyone spanking my kids" and that is all good and fine when your kids get into trouble the school should be calling you and you can leave work and go to the school and take care of it yourself that minute. The lessons children learn follow them through life, and if they learn at an early age there are no consequence that is exactly how they are going to live their lives.

Ice Ice Ice

The wind was howling like a banshee, piling the freshly fallen snow into 5 foot high drifts. The thermostate quivered at -15 factor in the wind and it dropped to -39 degrees. Between the wind and the cold my first thought was curl back up in my nice warm bed and lazily drift back off to my pleasant dreamworld, the only place where the cold couldn't touch me. "Mom? Mom it's time for my game." The little voice breaks through the barried my mind has tried to create witht he real world. I jump up look at the clock and we are running late, we have an hour to get to the rink, and the drive takes 20 of those. I scramble to my feet, grab some cloths, rush around like an idiot. Tell David to get his gear on, and notice he is almost back asleep on the couch. Steve goes over to him and starts to get him ready.
"Jenn he's burning up."
"What?"
"He has a fever." Steve says to me again as I walk over to my oldest baby. Sure as shit he is about 104.
That was how our Monday started out. The boys had their last big tournament this weekend, and the D man was sick through it all. He played in all the games except for the one that morning because there wasn't enough time to get his fever down. He wanted to play with the fever, but mom said NO WAY and it was a big maybe if he could play the afternoon game. So I gave him some meds and sent him back to bed, or rather dragged him back to bed. It took all of 5 minutes and he was out like a light. Cam had to be at the rink by 9:30am so we still had a few hours that D could rest.
In the end it all worked out well. Cam's team took the gold metal and David's team took 4th out of 6 teams. They were all disappointed that they didn't win, but they played well and I was proud of them all. Cam's team was stoked they took first! David was just mad at himself because he didn't play well, and mad at me for not letting him play in the morning game. I told him he has many more games to play in his little life and that one tournment was not the biggest thing that was ever going to happen in his life.
The crud that is going around here is nasty. It seems to last about 2 or 3 weeks, and everyone is getting it. It runs through the whole gamma of symptoms from the throwing up to sore throats and coughs it is like the stomach flu, regular flu, strep, and a cold all rolled into one and one day you think "oh good I am better today" only to be knocked back into bed the next. Tonight Cam started that seal bark after hockey practice. I am debating weather to even take them to the dr. Most of the people I know who have been get treated and nothing comes from it. I think this stuff just has to run it's course.

I am not sure if I will contuine to try to keep this blog up. It isn't fun anymore. It is something that has become almost a burden to keep up with. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that I just don't have anything to say lately. They boys are still just as crazy as they always have been and they offer a wealth of storied to choose from. The things the dogs do could fell novels. My marriage, my extended family, my in laws, are all topics that I could spend months writing about, but I just don't seem to have the ability to put it all together and write it down. I think I am having one of those leave everything behind and move on moods. I have them sometimes, lets just hope I don't pack up and leave Steve, the boys, and the dogs with no forwarding address...

So time will only tell if I plan to share my thoughts and stories here in the future or not.

email from my sister

This may solve many of my problems. I may have to get a bottle. This made me laugh so hard I had to share it!





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Support?

I've been following the comments over here. There was a comment alluring to the fact that if someone doesn't support our troops that doesn't mean they think we should be spitting on them when they return. Figuritly that is exactly what these people are doing. Everytime one of our soliders hears negitive thoughts from these people it is no different than spitting on them. I had the honor of being in the checkout line behind a young man and his father at Christmas. I was buying camo pants for the boys, and the father said to the son, "I bet you never want to have to wear those again." and the young man smiled and said "not for awhile". I of course asked if he had just returned from Iraq and he nodded and said "yes ma'am". The guy behind them made some rude comment about the war. The young man lowered his eyes to the floor and hung his head in shame. I hugged his neck and I told him "thank you". The father smiled at me, he was proud of his son, and hurt by the words of the asshole behind them. We talked while my purchases were rung up, he was getting his mama a Christmas present that day. I told him I was very glad he made it home for Christmas and I left, but I left with tears in my eyes, because some idiot with his stupid anti war comment had made that kid feel ashamed. So anyone who thinks they are not spitting on these kids with their words is just plain wrong. I believe that old saying if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all!

You're giving me a headache!

We got up and went to hockey practice yesterday, then we went straight from there to walmart. We did our shopping and standing in the checkout line the lady in front of us decided she would pay with her income tax refund. Well they will only let you do that if you spend so much of the return. The lady didn't even come close to spending enough. Then she gets all shitty with the poor checker like it's her fault, and she says "I just paid this way last week with a refund check." I looked at the checker and she looked at me. We both found that very suspious, but the manager came over and let her do it beings she had 2 baskets full of crap she didn't need, half of which she paid for with food stamps. This all took about 30 minutes, but my stuff was on the counter already so I was stuck waiting. Well Colton was getting board and he started to whine and I told him to knock it off. He looks at me and says "Quit talking to me you're giving me a headache!" The man behind us and the checker started laughing. I don't have a clue where he gets this stuff from, I would never tell my kids to be quiet because all that noise is giving me a headache!

Conversation with my mom this morning:

"I talked to your aunt, and she told me she talked to Colton for awhile this weekend."
"Yeah David and him were downstairs with my cell phone and they called her. I didn't even get to talk."
"She said David got on the phone talked for a few minutes and then he told her he had to go get his brother out of that box and hung up."

I have no clue what box he was in. I thought they were down there playing air hockey.

The Visit

I was sitting here with the kids monday and I got a phone call from my uncle. He was in town. I don't see him much because we live on different sides of the state, so it was really good to get to spend some time with him. The boys think he is great, probably because he reminds them of their grandpa, which is funny because he is my mom's brother, not my dads. We did what all the Olree's do when they get together eat! It's a family tradition. We had a good visit, and I am so glad he called.

The boys are still playing hockey. Cam got 4 goals in his game the other day, only 3 counted in the game, but 4 counted for him! David still loves it that is all he thinks about really. After the season is done he wants to play 3 on 3, and he asked if he could be on the travel team next year. I may let him try out, but I don't know if we can afford all the out of town trips that gets a little spendy always having to stay in motels.

I watched Million Dollar Baby the other night. That is a really good movie. At first I thought "oh a woman boxer movie that is going to suck" but it isn't what I expected at all. If you have not seen it you should.

Words of advice.

We are driving along the road coming home from hockey the other day, and as we come along side this car parked on the side of the road the driver all of a sudden decides that he is going to pull out in front of us. Steve veered over into the other lane, and thankfully there was nothing coming. The car didn't stop, didn't slow down, in fact I don't think they ever even saw us. I look at the plates Texas. Well I don't know how you people do it there, but here the car in the road has the right of way, and the car that is parked must stay parked until the lane is clear. Ok I didn't really give much thought to the fact they where from Texas until this morning.

I am taking the boys to school and it snowed last night so the roads are covered with ice and snow. I just dropped the boys and turn down the side street to head back to the house. Coming right down the middle of the road is a truck, yep from Texas. He doesn't slow down, he doesn't move over, in fact I don't think he even saw me coming straight at him down the little road. I have driven past many cars and trucks on that very same road. I know there is room from 2 vehicles to pass each other. I see he is not going to go for that. I pull the van as close as I can get to the parked cars along the right side of the road. I watch hoping that I am over far enough he doesn't side swipe me, oh and did I mention the fact that there isn't one car parked on his side of the road so he has miles of room to move that damn truck over. As he drives past the mirror of his truck actually hit the mirror on my van.

Now I don't have anything against Texas. I have a lot of family from there, and I love my blogger friends who reside there. You have a beautiful state, with wonderful people, but it's apparent to me that you people have different traffic laws there than we have in the rest of this great nation. So please for the love of all that is good stay in Texas we will all be safer!

You say it's your birthday...

Because someone I know had a birthday yesterday, and as usual I forgot I wanted to say HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you guys found a crab dinner last night! I love you girlie!

and speaking of birthdays today Elvis would have turned 71.

Cam's birthday is at the end of this month, and I have no idea what I am going to get him for his birthday. Not to meantion the fact that it depresses me beyond belief that he will be 6 in a few short weeks. He should still be a tiny baby!

Knowing is the hardest part!

I lead a dull life. I never really understood how dull my life was until I started blogging and in less than a year I had already told all my stories. I couldn't write a good post if my life depended upon it, and thankfully it doesn't! So another jumbled posts of thoughts and ideas is what you few people who actually read this are going to get.

My grandfather died in the sunshine silver mine in Idaho in the early 70's. My dad relived it watching those poor miners who were killed in the exploision in West Virginia this week. My thoughts go out to those families.

Why would anyone in their right mind live in Oaklahoma? It's hot, it's humid, and it's way to close to death by fire or tornado. I think if you live there you should just sell everything and move home! (I'm only kidding, but that was a little scary when mom told me how close the fire was to your house!)

I really want the new Martine Mcbride CD Timeless. She has remade a bunch of old classics like satin sheet, til I can make it on my own, and you ain't woman enough, and I never promised you a rose garden. She has a beautiful voice and I love those old country songs. I had hoped I would get it for christmas, but we all know how disappointing that was!


I am dieting again. It sucks. I have cut sugar, chocolate and anything good out of my diet. Now I just have to build up the whole excersize thing in my head!

our oldest lab had to have surgery on his eye monday. He had this awful looking tumor growing on his eyelid it was gross, but he is home and everything is well with him now.

and now I leave you with a picture of our silly none lab dog.
Buddy the baby

Showing my age

Well I am up on this cloudy New Years day, and I have been up for quite some time now. When I was younger I would have just been falling into bed about the time I got up this morning. It's funny how time and age can change a person so much. I use to celebrate the new year, and love to watch it come in, usually the party didn't stop until the sun was rising. The older I get the less exciting the prospect of a new year gets. The New year means the boys will be another year older, and that much closer to growing up, I will be another year older and that much closer to death, and everything stays pretty much the same. This year I have no resolutions. I refuse to set myself up for anymore failures. Life is to short and already has enough pitfalls without putting more in my way.

What not to get your wife for Christmas!

Worst gift this year: Ionic Pro air filter from my husband.
Best gift this year: AVS sweatshrit from my mommy!
Over all Christmas was a big disappointment. I never did get in the Christmas mood, and my tree is already put away, the lights are off the house and you can't even tell we had Christmas here.

The boys on the other hand had a great Christmas. Colton got a drum kit that he really likes. He sits down at the little chair, beats the sticks together and counts off 1,2 1,2,3,4 and begins to beat the drums for about 5 minutes then he stands up, throws his arms above his head and yells "Thank you, thank you my fans."
David got the Star Wars light saber game that plugs into their new TV, and that game is freaking work. He is a little sweatball after he plays it. Cam got the paintball game and he is a better shot than his dad. Overall they had a great Christmas which made mine a lot less disappointing. They all got a lightsaber and Steve and I have had more fun with them than the boys have. Those damn things are fun, and I am quickly on my way to becoming a master Jedi with as much as I play with them!

Hope everyone else had a great Christmas and don't forget we have a new story contest going on at Fizzle and Pop forum. Come on over and play!

IT"S ON!

Stole this from Tricia girl!

Round 22 is on!!!
Are we going to do this again???
Hell, we've had a year to sit and think.
We should be able to come up with something!

I'm ready!
Jenn's ready!

Let's roll!

The words for Round 22 are as follows...

n no particular order...

Smell
Velvet
Midnight
Candles
Message
Angry

Put on your thinking caps folks.

This round will self-destruct on January 16th!!!
(On account a' I intend to get smashed on New Year's weekend)

PS. You may need to get a new activation code, but your old password will let you in.

Fizzle and Pop

Just remember the rules people.
There are no rules.
Just use the words in a story then come back to read and vote for your favorite!

We wish you a Merry Christmas

Argentine: Feliz Navidad

Bulgarian: Tchestita Koleda; Tchestito Rojdestvo Hristovo

Chinese: (Cantonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sun
Chinese: (Mandarin) Kung His Hsin Nien bing Chu Shen Tan
(Catonese) Gun Tso Sun Tan'Gung Haw Sunk

Danish: Glædelig Jul

Dutch: Vrolijk Kerstfeest en een Gelukkig Nieuwjaar! or Zalig Kerstfeast

English: Merry Christmas

French: Joyeux Noel

Greek: Kala Christouyenna!

Hawaiian: Mele Kalikimaka

Irish: Nollaig Shona Dhuit, or Nodlaig mhaith chugnat

Italian: Buone Feste Natalizie

Japanese: Shinnen omedeto. Kurisumasu Omedeto

Korean: Sung Tan Chuk Ha

Latin: Natale hilare et Annum Faustum!

Norwegian: God Jul, or Gledelig Jul

Polish: Wesolych Swiat Bozego Narodzenia or Boze Narodzenie

Russian: Pozdrevlyayu s prazdnikom Rozhdestva is Novim Godom
amoan: La Maunia Le Kilisimasi Ma Le Tausaga Fou

Spanish: Feliz Navidad

Swedish: God Jul and (Och) Ett Gott Nytt År

How every you say it I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas. My Christmas wish this year is for each of you that read this. May all your christmas wishes come true this year, and may the year to come bring you joy and happiness. I wish for your dreams to come to and your health to be good, and most of all I wish you love and happiness! Merry Christmas everyone. See you in the new year!

Oh the thoughts you can think... I think Dr. Susse said that.

I sure hope that sex is like riding a bike you know that old saying that once you learn you never forget how. Steve has been gone so much lately we just see each other in passing.

I wonder whatever happened to that one guy who had a thing for me... What the hell was his name he played drums in a band I remember that and we got drunk on CLC together once and ended up spending the night talking about things 17 year old kids never talk about. You know the meaning of life and all of that crap that is meaningless in the end. I wonder why I never dated him?

Did I get all the boys the same amount of stuff for Christmas? I better check before Christmas morning...

What the hell is up with my tree it is leaning forward and no matter what I try I can't get it to stand straight.

Rob Thomas is hot...and he writes his own songs that is just sexy as hell.

Memoirs of a Geisha is an excellent read. I am always a day behind the times it seems though, because I just saw it advertised on TV that they made it into a movie.

I will be glad when Christmas is over. I love doing the Christmas morning thing with the boys and playing with their new toys with them, but all the family crap I hate! Steve's family does a Christmas eve thing and a Christmas dinner thing. I hate staying out until midnight and trying to get the boys to sleep after they have opened all their presents it is always 3am before Santa can even come to my house, and 5 by the time I get to sleep and half an hour later the boys are awake. Then by noon we are all tired and cranky. This year I think I am just sending them without me and my Christmas gift will be going back to bed and sleeping the rest of the day.

I am tired and I think I am going to find a place to sleep now.

Oh the Joy.

I have done as little as possible for the last 2 days. I cleaned up the basement and put the air hockey table together and beat all the boys in a game. I have chated on the phone and the computer. I have played with the dogs. I have read most of the new book I got in my stocking. Now I am going a little crazy. I think I may have to go shopping or ice skating or something! To be on the go all day and half the night and then just stop is a little to much. I need to find a middle ground somewhere.

We had a good visit with my sister. It was way to short, but it was nice to see her. When we were at the airport Colton said to her "Aunt Jo can't you just find a good home here?" It was sad they didn't want her to go. I am glad that they love her so much and she loves them. I wish she lived closer. We had a big scare with my granny. She has pnemonia and ended up going to the hospital. She got to go home yesterday with a breathing treatment machine and a bottle of oxygen. I am so thankful she is feeling better.

Now I am going to try to get caught up on blog reading. I have missed everyone these last few weeks.

Busy, Busy, Busy

It has been so hectic around here I have not had time to write anything. The boys had their hockey jamboree last weekend. I was at the rink by 8 every morning and didn't leave until well after 10! All the kids had a great time and got their trophies. Monday I tried to get caught up on laundry and did some christmas shopping. Tuesday both the boys had hockey games, and wednesday my sister got here. Thursday we spent shopping and today I think I finished up most of it. I still have a few more things to get, but mostly I am done. The boys all had their Christmas parties at school today, and thankfully there are 2 whole weeks of not getting up early, well except Christmas morning. Tomorrow we are going to my mom's for an early christmas dinner and to visit a little while. Then Sunday is our last hockey practice until after the new year. I am so looking forward to some sit down and do nothing time.

Next week I may have something entertaining to say, but right now I am to tired to think!

64 Years Ago

64 Years Ago

The sound of silence was deafening as we stood there and gazed over the rail into the oily water below.  For several long moments our tourist group stood there and no one spoke.  It was almost as if time had stopped for those brief few seconds.  When people finally did begin speaking again it was in hushed whispers.  I am not one who believes in Ghosts or the supernatural, but standing on the deck on the USS Arizona Memorial you can feel something beyond this world.  

If you listen hard enough you can hear the bombs exploding around these young men, who gave their all serving their country.  You can hear the people running to their positions aboard their vessels, as their confusion turned to realization.   I was very humbled and honored to be able to visit Pearl Harbor on my trip to Hawaii.  It is one of those places that every American needs to see at least once in their lifetime.  The tour of the memorial starts at the museum; they have pictures and artifacts from the day Pearl Harbor was attacked.  We spent quite some time looking through the pictures and reading the stories, some of survivors and others that perished that tragic December day.

They called our group number and we made our way to a theater and took our seats.  They show a really great film, and it makes it much better because you are right there you have looked out into the harbor and you have seen Diamond Head, and if you were crazy like us actually climbed to the top with a broken ankle.  You have all these land marks to make references to while you are getting the history.   After the film, they loaded us on the boat and carted us across the water.  There are huge Navy ships in port and you can see their crews doing their thing, much like it must have been December 7, 1941.  The trip out to the actual Memorial site only takes a few minutes.  I think the thing that I remember feeling the most as our craft pulled along side the USS Arizona was sadness.  There is an overwhelming sadness that surrounds the memorial, and even thought it happened long before my time I was still very upset by the whole thing. 

I hope one day that I can take my boys on the journey Hawaii has a great amount of American history that is worth seeing.  If you get the chance don't pass it up, it will be a trip you won't soon forget.  I have added some links below feel free to click them!









USS Arizona Memorial

National Geographic Articles

Great links for more history

The halls are decked

Woooohooo who rules. Who is better than dad. Yep that is right me! I got all the outside decorations up today. Cam was home sick so I didn't have to go to school with him and I put up the lights and snowman outside. Last year it took Steve about 3 hours to get them all up. Me it took an hour and a half, because yes I am just that good! Me and the boys put the tree up last Saturday and the stocking are all hung by the chimney with care, well not really by the chimney, but with care. Now as soon as I start my Christmas shopping all things will be good. Lets hope I soon find time to brave the hordes of mass consumers who have totally made Christmas a commercial holiday.

The things we have going on:
David played a hockey game last night scored a hat trick, his first this year!

We have hockey practice tomorrow from 5:30 until 8:00.

Cam and David play in the jamboree this coming weekend and I am running one of the fund raiser booths selling tee-shirts and what not.

My sister gets here next wednesday.

and inbetween I am trying to get the house cleaned up for christmas and get rid of toys the boys don't play with anymore.

I won't know what to do with myself over the week of Christmas because there will be no school, no hockey, and absoultly nothing going on!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

I am getting the best Christmas present every and I am getting it early! My baby sister is coming home the 14th! I am so excited. We see each other about once a year and that sucks. We talk on the phone at least 4 times a week, and we email each other everyday, but it isn't the same as actually having her home! The boys are more excited about Aunt Jo coming than they are for Christmas to get her. The down side is she has to go back way to soon. She will have to leave the 19th. We will have an early Christmas dinner at mom and dad's and she will get to see Cam play a hockey game and we will do some shopping together and have a great time! The last time she was home I hardly got anytime with her, because the boys hovered over her all the time. They love her and she loves them and that makes me so happy!

I still have not put up my tree so I am getting ready to do that today, and tonight the boys can decorate it and hang their stockings!

Quick tag

Jamie made me do it!

Weapon of choice?

My words. You piss me off and they drip with vemon. I will say the very thing I know is going to hurt the most. I have figured out you can't beat a anyone under ten if they refer to you as mom though because they will defeat you at your own game.

Relative Psychosis:
I don't think I have any blood relatives that are psychotic. Yes some are a little off you could even say crazy, but we are not a threat to ourselves or others. Beetles suck.

How Hard It Can Be:
Hard enough to poke an eye out!

So, What's Next?
The occurence after this one.

I'll name that tune in...
2 notes cause I don't play to lose.

The list

I am actually enjoying a few minutes of me time this morning. We have been so busy around here there is no time for blogging, no time for reading and barely anytime to watch the AVS play a game! Sunday we had Cam's practice, then we went to the store, got home fed the boys some lunch, went back to the ice rink for David's game, came home fed the boys, and went to bed. Then yesterday I went to school with the boys and worked with the Kindergarten class, picked up Colton, came home and did some laundry that I was behind in from running all weekend, the boys got home, we had David's school program, which he was very unhappy about. He hates doing those school programs I even got an "I hate you for making me go", and he only uses that when he is really pissed off. After the program we came home whipped up some sloppy joes and I finally ate at 8 o'clock. Dinner seems to be an 8 o'clock thing around here more often than not. Tonight we have practice for Cam, David has a game, I have a meeting about the jamboree coming up the 9th of December, and then I have to come home make dinner and feed the boys. Thankfully there is no school tomorrow. Wednesday will be spent cleaning the kitchen so I can cook Thursday, unless of course Steve won't be home on Thursday then we will postpone Thanksgiving dinner until Sat. This seems to be a typical week for us lately. Now I am done with me time and off to get Colton from school!
Hope you all have a happy Thanksgiving!

Til death do us part

Standing in the Walmart line yesterday I struk up a conversation with the lady behind me. I ofen do that, talk to strangers, but that is a different post. This was a pleasent woman, who because I talked to her felt compelled to share her live story with me. She must of been about 29 maybe 30. She has 2 kids one was 6 and the other almost 9. Then she starts telling me that she is on this diet and she has lost 12 or 15 pounds already. I am standing there nodding and saying things like good for you. She could have stood to lose 30 or 40 pounds, but she wasn't obese by any means. We talked about diets for awhile and work outs... Then she says with a venomus hiss that she hates her kids for making her fat! I just stared that blank stare at her. I being a big girl have no one to blame for the added weight except myself. Sure after the kids were born and I started staying home I gained a lot of weight, but in no way did my kids force me to eat 3 cookies to their every one. The boys never held me down and shoved food into me. I did that all by myself and would never hold my children responsible for that. I think I was most shocked at her seriousness. I think she really did blame her children and she really did hate them for it. I wanted to say so many things to that hateful woman, but I couldn't. I wanted to tell her that eating is what made her fat, and laziness, and I wanted to tell her that I would raise her children for her if she hated them so much. Then she started telling me about her marriage and how misserable she was and that if she didn't lose weight her husband was going to leave her. At that point I just felt sorry for her. What kind of man abuses his wife, the woman he is suppose to love and cherish above all others, that way. I am sure that the husband is the one responsible for making a mother resent her children. I can only imagain the horrible things he has told her. Things like "Before you had kids your ass wasn't that big." and "Before you had the kids you took care of yourself." Steve would never in a million years tell me he was going to leave me because I am fat. He loves me no matter what. Oh sure some days he would like to choke me, but that is being married and living with someone for the rest of your life, and has nothing to do with added weight. I was angery by the time I left walmart. I was angry at the husband for destroying this womans relationship with her children, and for being so cruel to his wife, but mostly I was angery at the woman for letting it happen.

and this was just to good not to share. It came in an email from my sister.

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He
stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
"Thank you Mr. American, for letting me in this country, and giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care and free education!" But the passer-by says
"You are mistaken, I am Mexican.

The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. "Thank you for
having such a beautiful country here in America!" The person says "I no
American, I Vietnamese."

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes his hand and says "Thank you for wonderful America!"
That person puts up his hand and says "I am from Middle East, I am
not an American!"

He finally sees a nice lady and asks suspiciously, "Are you an
American?"
She says, "No, I am from Russia!" So he is puzzled, and asks her,
"Where are all the Americans?" The Russian lady looks at her watch, shrugs,
and says:

"Probably at work!"

You're a mean one Mr. Grinch!

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS
by
Dr Seuss

Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...

But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!

The Grinch hated Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were to tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but I have been Grinched! Friday I asked Steve if we really had to have Thanksgiving dinner. He never got a chance to answer, because Cameron quickly said that yes indeed we did have to have Thanksgiving dinner. He informed me it was a celebration and we should be joining in on the celebration! Then last night just Steve and I were sitting in the living room. I looked at him and said "I don't think I am even going to bother putting up the tree this year." He just stared blankly at me like I was speaking a different language, but I am pretty sure I said it in English! Maybe it is the fact that Christmas should have been over a month ago, at least that is the way it feels in every store. Since before Halloween the stores have been pushing their Christmas wares upon us. Every other commercial on TV has been about the holidays, and Steve took the credit card away from me. I have to be placed on a limited budget for this Christmas. So really what is the point? If I can't spend like a mad women it is really pointless to have Christmas. Cameron said "God will be very upset with us if we don't have Christmas",and yes my kids all believe in God and Santa Clause too! I on the other hand feel like Albert in the animated classic "twas the night before Christmas". Maybe as the seasons quickly approach my mood will change, and even if it doesn't I will put on a holly jolly face and tis the season for the sake of the boys!

The Beetles

I can cohabitate with spiders, if they get in the house I usually pick them up and put them outside. I don't really mind snakes they are actually pretty neat. Rats, mice, and other rodents are furry and cute. Beetle cause me go quickly go into a panic attack.

Yesterday Cam found an ugly, horrid beetle thing. He came in to get the D man and of course David goes out to check it out. A few minutes later he comes running as fast as his legs will carry him and all I see is legs coming out of his hand. I know right away it's a beetle. I can see those ugly legs with their little grabby feet. I jumpped up and screamed, causing D to fling the stupid thing through the air right in my direction. It hit my foot as I was running in the other direction, and in the confussion it hid somewhere in my house! My fear of beetles runs deep, it is not really a fear so much as it is a phobia. When we coudln't find the stupid thing I was reduced to tears. My heart was beating out of my chest, the sweat was dripping off me, and I was in the middle of a full blow panic attack. I still can't put my feet under my desk. I didn't sleep well last night, and I really had to fight hard to stay in this house last night.

I think the hardest part of my irrational fear is the fact that I know how crazy it is. I know that normal people don't experience those kinds of emotions over a stupid little beetle. I mean a beetle can't hurt you, they don't carry nasty germs that cause horrible sickness and death, they can't sink their fangs into you and kill you with their venom, and they don't even bite. I don't want to be crazy and I don't want my boys to see that kind of fear from their mom.

What's it all for?

David had an awesome hockey game last night. It was his first mite game, and his first full ice game. They play half ice in the mini mite level here, mostly because we have 4 teams and one sheet of ice. So this was the D mans first full ice game, and they lost, but that isn't what is important. I never really care if the boys win or lose, what I care about is if they play the best game they can, and he did. He scored 2 goals and 2 assists in last nights game. He was working his backwards skating and his passing and he was paying attention to the lines and he didn't go off sides once. He was controling the puck and just over all he skated very well! I was very proud of him and his team as a team they all played very well together.

Colton got his glasses yesterday. He looks cute in them. When I find some batteries for the camera I will get a picture of him. I picked him up from school today and he says to me "Mom I could see everyone today and really know who they are!" It made me feel awful for being such a bad mom and not knowing he was blind!

Cameron is loving hockey. He had big plans of playing soccer this summer and last night he asked me if he could go to hockey camp instead of soccer this summer. If I had 2 more boys I would have a full line and a huge mortage on the house to pay for it all!

The weather has been beautiful today. We were suppose to get snow last night, but it was in the 60's today. It makes it hard to send the boys to school when it is nice. I would much rather keep them home and go do something fun!

My last vice

Hi my names Jenn and I am an addict. I had my last cigarette 4 hours and 11 minutes ago. I really want to quit, ok that's a lie. I enjoy each cigarette I smoke. I want one the minute I wake up, after every meal, and pretty much ever 15 minutes thoughtout the day. The truth of the matter is that I need to quit. I have to quit. Between Steve and I, we are spending over 500 dollars a month on the damn things. When you add it up and look at the numbers we just can't afford to smoke anymore, we never really could. I could get a new car for less a month than we spend on smoking. I could get a new computer or that digital camcorder I want. In one year if we both quit we would have saved 6,000 dollars. That is a lot of money spent on trying to slowly kill yourself. The very sad fact is that as I am writing this I don't care about the cost. I don't care that they will eventually kill me. I don't care... I want a cigarette badly. I don't need one. I don't have to have one. I want one.

Going once, going twice...

My blog is worth $38,388.72.
How much is your blog worth?

Is it November already?

I don't know where the time has gone, but it seems to be flying at warp speed. I don't think I have had 15 minutes of unbusy time since my last post. I have fallen into bed every night this week and was sleeping before my head hit the pillow.

Halloween was a lot of fun, in spite of the fact that 2 of the boys were not entirely thrilled with what they got dress up as for the occasion. I took the boys to paperwarehouse, because they were having a sale and told them they all had to pick something there because I was not running all around to pick just the right costume and I was not paying a fortune for them. Cameron had big plans of being a skeleton before we even got to the store so we lucked out with him they had just the perfect skeleton outfit. David wanted to be this zombie ghoul thing, but we couldn't find anything remotely resembling what he had his heart set on, then he was going to be Darth Vader, but they only had Colton's size for that. So I got to digging around and it was between a ninja or a power ranger. Oh my lord don't tell your 2nd grader they can be a power ranger... just don't so he took the ninja. Colton didn't care what he was going to be as long as it was scary, he likes the whole scariness of Halloween. Well I told him Darth Vader was scary and he was all for it, he ran around going "Luke I am your father." and "Aww a sister, Obi Wan was wise to hide her from me." and then I looked at the price 42 bucks... Needless to say I had to crush his hopes of being a dark lord this year. I found Hulk and a Spongebob get up, and Colton loves Spongebob so I figured he would go for that. He looked at me and says "Pongebob is not scary mom!" I quickly convinced him that The Hulk was scary, and he could take spiderman out! So the big day finally gets here...

I went to all three of the class parties, which were fun, but by the time we got home I was ready for my blanket and a story, but the boys had other ideas of how our night would be spent. So they began putting on their costumes and digging out the trick or treat bags. By 4:30 they were ready and by 5 we were out the door. We met up with the little girl across the street and her mom and off we went. After an hour and a half of trick or treating the mom's were cold and tired and the kids bags were overflowing. Success!

Tuesday we had hockey and I get to be the team mom for Cam's team, so the whole hour I was handing out team rousters and jerseys, then I rushed David into the bathroom, because I didn't have time to get a locker room key and he changed into his gear as I handed out the last of the jerseys for Cam's team, he is on the yellow team, and then I got D's skates laced up and found out that I get to be the team mom for his team as well, so it was another hour of running around handing out jersey's and team lists to parents! I may be insane by the end of this year, but with as fast as time seems to be moving it will be over before I even know it. Cam has his first game tomorrow and David's is on tuesday. It is going to be great!

Thursday we had parent teacher meetings. I am in their classes enough that it was really just a waste of time on both our parts. I didn't find out anything I don't already know, but the teacher have to have them for everyone, and I did get to pick up school pictures, which I will probably get mailed out when Colton is 12 or 13! Actually this year I am waiting for the hockey pictures so I can mail them all together. (That will be you Christmas present Paula and I promise to mail them and last years too!)

I am off to bed I tried to get caught up on house work and laundry today, noticed I said tried as with most things in my life I failed! Oh well we all have clean clothes to wear next week so that is something!

I'm still alive!

Well since we last spoke...

The weekend before last started off with the lovely stomach flu. David woke up in the middle of the night throwing up, it lasted about 24 hours with him. Steve started throwing up sunday afternoon and I woke up sunday night or monday morning witht he crap and 2 days later I was finally able to move. The throwing up wasn't so bad, but I felt like someone beat every inch of my body. I felt brused and battered it wasn't a nice flu bug... Then Colton whacked his eye with one of those sticky hands so I had to take him to the eye dr, because it looked bad! The doctor looked at it with the glow in the dark dye and everything was all good. He had some minor abrassions, but nothing in the cornea. I thought everything was good until wednesday, we had managed to get to hockey and school with no one sick! Then wednesday I get the call that Colton is sick and I need to come get him ten minutes after school started. So he missed wednesday and thursday of school. On top of all of that I have had this awful sinus headache, and stuffy head earache stuff that I have been fighting for about a month. I went to the dr. today and he shot me up with some kind of allergy stuff, gave me a perscription, and some eye drops, because I looked like I had pink eye in both eyes. I am already feeling better from that and hopefully the shot keeps the allgeries at bay. I am so happy the eye drops stopped the itching as soon as I used them life got better.

We did manage to get the back deck finished, made it to every hockey practice, and even made it to school early for David's student council meetings! I was totally impressed with my accomplishments, but then most days just getting the boys to school before the bell rings is a major accomplishment for us!

The AVS did better.

Friday nights game was played much better, and even though we suffered a lose the boys at least played. The blackhawks goalie was on fire, and Budaj, which is pronunced Boo-die not Bud-age, played an awesome game. It was a goalie game that is for sure and the boys all played with some effort.

Steve is on vacation, and I take back all the "wish he was home more" statements I made last week. Now I have to make it through this week with him here! The boys have hockey tomorrow, and then monday I will be at school all day, tuesday is hockey night, and we have hockey thrusday so I should do alright!

Things I am pondering

Things I am pondering tonight:

First this,
What the hell happened to the AVS?  They played a very sloppy game of hockey.  Their passing skills where on the same level as a mite team in the 3rd period, and when someone did manage to get a pass off flawlessly the person they passed to couldn't pick the puck up if it had been the size of a freaking basketball.  They had absolutely no control of the puck what so ever, they just knocked it around the ice, no looking where they were passing, not knowing where the puck was half the time. Sloppy Hockey boys very sloppy!  I love my AVS, and they can play beautiful hockey, Monday nights games was a perfect example, but tonight was sad.  I don't expect them to win all the time, but I do expect the same thing from them as I expect from my own children, to put forth their very best effort.  Tonight's game lacked much effort.  Friday I expect better, weather you win or lose boys let put forth the effort.  Play a smooth game of hockey, make every pass count, work that puck down the ice, be ready for the passes, and for god sakes get someone in front of the damn net you are wasting your scoring opportunities when your whole damn line is behind the net fighting each other for the puck.  

And then,
I am going to get my coaching certificate and help coach the little kids, that might be a little scary for them and for me, but I figured what the hell I might as well.  

Now this,
The price of oil needs to go down a great deal, not because of the price at the pump, but it is seriously cutting into quality time with my husband.  He has been gone so much the last 2 months that when he does show up I check ID at the door just to make sure he really is who is says he is, and it won't stop until the price of oil goes down and they stop all this damn drilling!.  

And now,
Speaking of jobs if anyone wants a job in the oil field and you have a CDL I know where you can go to work today drop me an email and I'll hook you up.  It is kind of like a job in the Army you know see the world while your earning money except you don't see the world just a whole lot of the rockies mountain states and you earn a lot more money, and by that I am not saying you will be paid well, just better than the government would pay you.  

Ok this is the last one,
I need to clean off this desk.  I am sure there are things lost in here, important things like the water bill and that book I started reading a few months ago and misplaced.  I don't know why I am keeping half the things that find there way to my desk…

Hockey was great!

We dug through gear Monday night to make sure both boys had everything and it all fit, and then David says, "mom you didn't get my skates sharpened!" Well that was just peachie, one more thing on my list of things to get done Tuesday! I took the boys to school, came home threw a roast in the crock pot, got showered and dressed, started a load of laundry. I sat down looked at the clock and it was time to go get Colton, so I grabbed up the skates and ran out the door. I managed to get the skates to the ice rink just as the guy who sharpens them was leaving so I did some quick begging and he took pity on me and stayed to put an edge on the skates. I have to get Cam some socks and a helmet still.

Cameron in the black

We got Cameron dressed, and left for the rink a little after five. He was so excited to finally be getting to play hockey. We got to the rink, picked up his skates and got them on his little feet, along with David's helmet. He waddled off to the bench to wait for the zamboni to finish up so he could get out there. I was a little scared that he wasn't going to like skating. The last time we went he skated for about 15 minutes, fell down, and decided he was cold and was ready to take his skates off. I had no reason to worry really. He skated out with no help and the whole night he only fell a few times and he got right back up. I didn't get to watch as much as I would have liked as we had a parent meeting, which is pretty much to welcome the new parents and give them all the information and sign up to be team parents. I signed up for both boys this year. We got out of the meeting and I had to run to the locker room, because we have a new rink manager and he doesn't want the kids dressing in the lobby, which is just crazy because our locker rooms are the size of a large bathroom and trying to get 40 kids and 40 parents in there is not going to happen. So I took David in to help him get dressed, he can get most all his gear on by himself, but still needs a little help getting his garter and socks fixed right and getting his skates laced up tight. I told the D man to get his stuff on and I ran out and got Cam as he was coming off the ice. We rushed into the locker room, I snatched Cam's skates off, got the socks that the boys had to share, because we managed to get to the rink with the one pair, and managed to get David's skates laced up and have him out the locker room door before his ice time started. I was impressed with our ability to get one dressed and the other one undressed in record time! Then I ran back up the stairs to make it to David's parent meeting! Over all things went really well and it can only get easier from here!

David

Ice is nice!

The dues are paid and tomorrow it's time to take the ice and drop the puck! David and Cam are both playing this year. David can hardly wait to get back on the ice. Cam is excited because his cousin is playing as well. I am not as excited, tuesdays we will be at the rink from 5:30 until after 8 so that makes for a long night. The boys will have to come home get homework done and a snack and then we will have to dress Cam and head out the door so he can be on the ice! David will have to bring whatever homework he has left and him and I can work on it while Cam is on the ice and vice versa! I usually try to get them in bed by 9, but tuesdays we will be lucky to get to bed by 10 after they come home and eat and all of that! I can hardly wait until they get to play some games though. There is nothing more fun than to watch your kids play a sport!

Foggy

Colton and I were sitting on the couch together when he looks at me and says, "Mom, you are getting kind of old."

"Yes honey I am."

He then takes my arm, pulls it up to his face, takes a big sniff and says, "But you smell great!"

I guess that I am not so old that I am rotting.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

This is what we woke up to this morning! I love the first snow of the fall. It is so pretty, and it isn't all that cold. In fact today the sun is shining and the snow will soon be gone!

I have been busy at the school with the boys. Last Friday they had PDA. I don't remember what the hell that stands for, but the teacher have meetings all day and the kids get to do fun kinds of things. This time we got to see snakes and lizards. I was with the pre school and kindergarten classes and they thought it was pretty awesome. We saw a cobra, rattlesnake, blue rock lizard, and some other stuff. Mondays I am in Cam's class helping with centers, and then David wants me to start going to his class once a week as well. So I will have 3 days a week at the school.

Cam has been sick with stomach pain and the school nurse called yesterday for me to come and get him. I took him to the Dr., because he said it was not like a stomach ache, but more like a burning pain. The Dr. said that the lining of his stomach has been irritated, and put him on zantac. I am suppose to give that to him 2 times a day for 5 days, take him off, and see if the pain comes back. If it does start again then he has an ulcer.

I have put off going to walmart for the past 2 weeks, and we are quickly running out of everything around here. I think Colton and I will go after I pick him up from school.

David starts hockey next week, and Cam has decided that he wants to play as well. We will be spending much of our time at the ice rink this year. David has practice Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays, and Cam will practice Tuesdays and Sundays. We should just pack a bag and camp out down there!

Well that is all I can think of today.