Me

Dear Mr. Obama,

2009-02-28T08:54:00.005-07:00

The oil field has provided for my family for generations. I am oil field trash and damn proud of it. Most people in my little state make a living from natural resources, gas, oil, and coal. We here in Wyoming have not suffered as badly as most of the nation from this recession, but you seem determined to make that happen. You are not satisfied with half the country living in their cars so you want to make sure we are all in the same back seat. When you start messing with oil companies imposing higher taxes, and taking away their tax breaks, those companies begin laying off workers, those workers then quit spending money at other businesses causing them to make cut backs and in the end no one is working. You have an agenda alright an agenda that will not create jobs, but make the working class people of my great state dependent on government handouts. We are not a socialist regime, this is America, and you dear sir are not the dictator. You are only the president, and you are suppose to be working for the people, but taking jobs away from the American people is not working for us. You need to think long and hard about the working class people instead of seeing only big business as a way to bail out this country. I do not believe that you have even thought that far ahead. Oil companies employ a great deal of Americans, especially in states like Wyoming. The oil companies have provided for me and my family for 3 generations.

My grandfather retired from an oil company, my father has worked oil field and mining jobs his entire life, and my husband puts food on our table working in the oil field. We are just one of many families who you intend to screw by taking jobs away. I understand that the economy needs a boost. I understand that the value of a dollar is not what it should be. I understand that you are looking for ways to get this country out of debt, but what price are you willing to make us the very people you are suppose to serve pay. There are several things that can be done before taking away more jobs.

I think the very first cut backs to be made should start right there on the hill with pay cuts for you and every congress member and house member, then move on down the line to welfare. Welfare in this country has become a way of life and a drain on our resources, and it was never intended to be that. I have a problem with paying my fair share of taxes when the welfare people down the block have paid nothing, taken everything, and still end up with a bigger tax refund than me. We could save billions right there, and jobs as well. So until you are willing to take a pay cut don't ask the working class people of America to give up their jobs, because that is what will happen when you try to make big business pay.

Sincerely,
Jennifer Schall
Wyoming Oil Field Trash

The end...

2009-01-21T07:07:00.002-07:00

Well it seems like I have quit blogging! I don't know why it just seems I never have the time or the energy lately. Maybe it's been that I just have not felt I have anything to blog about until now...

Yes the election. Yesterday all I heard was about how historic it was that we have our first black president. I want to know who the hell this black guy is, because the guy who took office has a mother that is as white as me and a father he never even knew. The man who took office was raised by his white grandmother, so sure it was a historic day we got our first bi-racial president, but we did not get our first black president. I sat yesterday and thought that it is sad when we choose to make a big deal over the color of his skin. I fear for our country right now, because I do not agree with a lot of his policies. I think everyone forgets that if he passes bills that make it possible for everyone to receive medical care that someone is still going to have to pay for it, and the middle class people are the ones who get screwed. We are the ones who will have to pay higher taxes. If you don't know about "free medical" ask our neighbors in Canada. They pay higher taxes, can't pick and choose their doctors, and if they need a specialist it could take 6 or 8 months to get in. I don't know about you but if I had cancer that was caught early and could be cured I don't want to wait 6 or 8 months to see the cancer dr. only for him to tell me "well there isn't much we can do now." I don't want to pay for everyone else either, and if the taxes are not higher then who the hell is going to pay for it? I honestly don't think that our president is going to ask for a it to come out of his wages or the wages of his congress all of whom a tax increase or decrease doesn't affect, because they don't have to pay taxes. If I wanted to live in a socialist country I would move to one. I want to live in America, the land of the free and the home of the brave, but honestly we are becoming less free and less brave. I for one am scared to death.

St. Louis

2008-07-11T08:39:00.002-07:00

We have arrived safely home from my sisters. We had an awesome time in St. Louis. We were there for the 4th and we went to her property that she and her man are building a house on. They have almost 7 acres with a creek running through it. So the boys got to put on their own fireworks show, and then we watched as the night sky light up in all directions around us.

Our night was cut short when about 10:30ish the D man light off something that took off like a rocket after him and proceeded to fly right up his butt. He dove trying to get out of it's way and landed his knee on a sharp rock leaving a gash that was about 4 inches long across his knee. He could have had about 10 or 12 stitches had I taken him to the hospital, but the mention of hospital and stitches started him freaking out. I had a lovely view of his shin bone and really wanted someone else to sew him up, but the only way to stop him from trying to hitchhike home with his wounded knee was to promise I'd glue him shut. We got him home and I got him in the shower so that I could clean his knee really good and he informs me his butt hurts and sure enough he has a quarter size burn on his cheek. His knee is healing really nicely now, but I'm a very good dr. who needs a degree?

The nice thing about St. Louis is everything is free except parking and that doesn't cost very much anywhere you go. You have the option of parking on the street for free, but I didn't really want to walk 2 miles to get to the place and then spend the rest of the day walking around just to walk another 2 miles when I'm hot and tired to get to the car. I'll post some picture later. I have to start summer school on Monday that will be for 3 weeks, so that isn't so bad. I'm off to do laundry.

Words

2008-06-25T22:43:00.004-07:00

I have a compulsion to write, like someone with ocd has to turn the lights out 40 times before they can leave a room, I have to put words on paper to get them all out of my head. It's like a sickness really, especially since most of my words don't make much sense. Then there are the times the words don't come and I am left dazed trying to make some sort of normal out of my life. Sometimes I find myself writing the boys' names over and over and over just so that I can go through the motions. I prefer pen and paper. The way the ink glides over the smooth surface creating words is some what of a turn on for me. I've spent most of my writing time lately like that late at night laying in bed just me a notebook and a pencil, usually it's been a pencil because the boys have lots of them laying around, and I've thrown out most of the pens because they are harder to get off the walls. I think I write there because I can't say the things in those journals here. I can't write about the things that might upset other people here, because they don't understand. It's unfair, because this is where I like to put my thoughts and ideals and ranting and raving. I might start doing it again, or maybe I'll do it under an assumed name on a different blog.

I think there are those of us who write and those of us who don't. The people who don't will never understand those of us who do. Steve has never understood my need to write, he thinks it's crazy. I don't understand his need to be drunk, so I guess that makes us even. I need words on a page as much as I need the air that I breath it's what makes me whole.

In real news I am going to go see my baby sister the end of next week. It's going to be a long drive she lives in St. Louis and that is 1050 miles away from here. I might not make it back alive after 16 hours on the road with 3 children. It's long when we go the 6 hours to my grandparents house. I think my truly insane nature is shining out brightly and I may end up in my proper place a padded cell, before I make it home. Wish me luck I'm going to need it.

Oh and I've been taking pictures here's some http://picasaweb.google.com/jennifer.schall/UntitledAlbum

CHUNKY doesn"t always mean overweight

2008-06-05T10:57:00.002-07:00

We are out of school and it's to cold and rainy to play outside today. The boys are playing monopoly and actually getting along, could be the threat of locking them in the closet if they fought today, but it's a blessing however it happened.

We were at Walmart the other day and this rather large lady kept getting in front of me and stopping. Well the youngest, who's nickname is Chunky Monkey, walked around her and headed towards the video games. I wanted him to wait up so I yelled "Chunk!" he didn't and he stepped out in front of another person so I yelled "Chunky watch out!" Well the large woman who keeps stopping in front of me and won't let me around looks at me and says "Well" and moves out of my way. I am pretty sure she thought I was talking to her, but oh well she finally got the hell out of my way. I have to admit his nickname doesn't really fit him anymore he can't even keep his pants up he is so thin, but when he was a baby he was huge!

I didn't plant a garden this year and I'm going to miss having tomatoes again, but I have been to busy trying to get the basement cleaned out so I can build a room down there. I have thrown more crap out in the last 2 weeks. It's amazing how much junk you keep and don't ever need or use. If I have not seen it in the last 2 years I'm throwing it out. Last weekend I was tossing stuff and Steve was digging it out of the trash faster then I could put it in. I finally asked him why the hell he was saving that stuff and he says, "We might need it sometime." I giggled and said "If we have not needed it by now we will never need it!" Thankfully he is out of town working this week and I can toss lots of stuff.

I must be sick... 2 posts in 2 days.

2008-04-24T20:53:00.002-07:00

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me lately. I can't seem to keep it together at all. If I don't write it down I forget it and half the time I write things down and still forget them... Oh well this too will soon pass I'm sure.

Colton turned 7 today, and that makes me want to cry. My baby is 7 and I don't know what the hell I'm going to do when they are all grown up and leave me. He had a good birthday, and got lots of gifts, money, and love. Everyone called him to wish him happy birthday and we spent half the night on the phone. Now he is all tucked up in bed. Tomorrow we are having a pizza party with his class for friday fun. They get the last hour of school to do something fun every friday and I told him I would bring the pizza.

I'm tired so I'm going to bed, but I doubt I'll sleep been having a lot of trouble with that lately as well could be most of my forgetfullness problem...

Kicked that habit...

2008-04-23T21:17:00.004-07:00

I finally read the Heroin Diaries... and wow it's about several of my ex boyfriends... oh wait no it's about Nikki Sixx and his downward spiral of self destruction. It was a very thought provoking book, that brought up a lot of my own past and the stupid shit I use to do. I thankfully was never a heroin addict, and luckily I never met the right people to pick up that habit, because in all honesty back in the day there wasn't much I wouldn't try and I spent a lot of time high on something or other. Fuck I'm still self destructive in so many ways. I've just traded in my methods of choice, hence the weight struggle and the 3 pack a day cough. Man I gotta give them up someday.
I think we all are struggling with some kind of demons and we are looking for ways to kill the pain. We want to go to that comfortably numb place where we don't have to feel anything, because feeling just sucks so bad. I often wish that I was born without emotions life would be a lot less stressful without the pain of them. Steve says I can turn mine on and off like a light. If that where only true I could bottle it and make a million, but I guess Nikki wrote that book already... How not to feel and we all see he had to die in the end, and even then he couldn't escape it. He just had to learn to live with it and not let it kill him again.

We are talking about the book here and not me though so lets get back to it. As I was reading these journal entries I could feel Nikki's despair and loneliness, and then I could see that he created most of it himself. He held on to his anger and let it tormented him, and at times in the book I really didn't like him at all. There were passages that made me think "what a freaking prick." Then there where times that made me just want to reach out and tell him he wasn't alone in the world. Ironically nothing in the book surprised me, there wasn't anything I didn't expect, because well that was the Nikki that I would have wanted to know back when I was younger. That was the life sex, drugs, and rock n roll baby, and it would have disappointed me to find out he was some religious nut pretending to be a rock star, because back then we all wanted to be rock stars. I would like to sit down with the Nikki today and have coffee and talk about the future of rock and roll, and kids, and life. I think he has some very positive things to get across to the world, and I think the only way he can do that is sober. I find him more appealing today than I did as a teenager, and back then I thought he was it. Nikki graced my walls and ceiling and his words blasted my stereo. Today he doesn't live in my house so much, there are no wall to wall pictures, but his words still pour out of my speakers, and I can honestly say that I wouldn't mind my kids having him for a roll model, not that fucked up kid sticking needles in his arm, but the man who followed his dreams, took a few detour and keeps on rocking. Oh and he's sexier today than he ever was before, but hey I'm older and wiser now too.

Read the book it's a sad, disgraceful tale right up until the end when you get to see the new Nikki pearing out with clear eyes and a hopeful future.

Oh and the soundtrack to the book is amazing. All 3 of my boys love it and that doesn't happen very often in our house.

you can read about the book, the music, and other stuff.Here at Nikki Sixx's website

Whoo what happened?

2008-03-26T19:11:00.002-07:00

I'd like to tell you that I was in a medical induced coma due to some rare condition, but that is not the case. I have just been lazy and uninspired to write anything here lately. Hockey is over so that will free up a major amount of my time, and what better way to spend free time than blogging now all I need is something to blog about.

We went to walmart last Sat. and on the way in Colton kept hitting Steve. Steve finally had enough and he asked; he didn't say knock it off before I knock you out or anything remotely like a statement he simply said "Colton will you quit." My sweet little baby looks at his dad and says "No mom thinks it's funny and it makes me happy too." I was laughing so hard I about got ran over in the parking lot. Colton 1 Dad 0 on that battle, but then I don't think Steve has ever won one when he is up against the youngest.

Honestly I'm out of topics now... life is just flying by and I am busy playing with the boys and working. I can't wait for summer when I can be lazy and stay in bed until 8:00!

Championship photo

2008-01-15T13:26:00.001-07:00

Ahhh another year!

2008-01-04T15:07:00.000-07:00

My boobs sag closer to my belly button and my ass lacks the firmness it once had and as if I needed farther reminders that another year has gone by I just finished filling 4 huge bags full of clothes that no longer fit my children. Time passes so quickly I can hardly keep up. I don't know why I try to keep up anymore I think that if I just sat back and watched the hours tick away I'd be less stressed and more at ease with life, but damn if I know how to sit still that long.

We had an awesome Christmas and the break has been fun we are off until the 9th so we still have a few more days. Tomorrow we are going snowboarding. I will not be strapping a board of death to my feet however. I am just not that brave and it's been almost 20 years since I have even skied. I think I can remember how to do that, and well if you don't ever hear from me again you will know it didn't go so well.

I actually read 4 books over the break and am working on a 5th, probably the reason this post is so incoherent huh! No not really that kind of 5th actually it would be book number 5. Cameron gave me His Dark Materials for Christmas and I read that, well it's actually 3 books in one so that really puts me at 7 working on the 8th. So between reading and playing rock band the break is going by to fast.

Rock Band is awesome, and I am a rock goddess, well unless I'm the drummer and then well I just freaking suck. I am the only one in the house who can read the words of the songs fast enough to sing them and more often than not I get stuck being the singer in our little house band, which as long as it's only the kids and Steve I don't mind, but no matter how awesome the game says I am I really don't see life as a rock star in my future.

David has a tourney next weekend and then we are on the road for Cam the weekend after that.

Well that's all the news here. Hope the New Year is fabulous for all 4 of you that still check up on me.

The Christmas Letter

2007-12-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

I didn't even send Christmas cards this year! I've been a slacker. Today I'm going to brave the stores and finish my shopping. I normally procrastinate, but this year has been really bad. I just can't get into the spirit of Christmas. It's been awhile since I have had that Christmas joy. Really since Steve and I had a huge fight about 5 years ago my Christmas Spirit has been ruined, and I'll probably never get it back. That's just one of the joys of marriage, your spouse will eventually ruin something you hold dear, like Christmas. I figure if we can get along the other 11 months out of the year we're doing ok though.

The boys are still excited, and I try to enjoy their joy and happiness. We will be going to my mom's Christmas day for dinner, and we are going to try to be there by about 11:30, which is really going to be pushing it with the big guy in red making his appearance at our house. The boys will be busy checking out their goods. A lot of it will be a big disappoint for them until we get to my mom's. Santa is bringing several ps2 games, and their play station got broken. Aunt Jo got them a new one, but they are not going to know that until they get to granny's house. So it will be fun for me to say "Oh Santa must not have known yours was broken. I bet I can have him bring me the receipt and we can return this stuff when the stores open again." and then when they open the new one my sister got them I get to be excited and say "Aunt Jo must of talked to Santa!"

Thankfully David still believes in Santa, but it helps that even I still get stuff from the big guy, and working at the school I get to do a lot of damage control. We were at school the other day and some of the kids were saying that Santa wasn't real, and David brought a big group over to me on the play ground to prove that he is alive and well. They were all really surprised and impressed that I still believe in Santa and get stuff from him. I told some of them that is was sad they didn't believe, because once you stop believing that's when he stops showing up! Hopefully my boys believe for several more years!

Well that's it. You all have a Merry Christmas and the best New Year ever!

A mutts a mutt!

2007-12-03T17:28:00.000-07:00

Wow I am amazed at people, and wondering about the survival of the human race! I was in the mall and saw these adorable little puppies and then I read the sign "Pugapoo's $800.00". I asked the lady what the hell a pugapoo was and she smiles at me and says "It's a cross between a pug and a poodle" I then giggled and said "SO it's a mutt." People if it's a cross bread it's a mutt. I don't care if they slap a fancy name on it like Labradooble or pugapoo it's a freaking mutt and your getting rip off if you are paying more than the spay and neuter costs for it that the local shelter would charge. A word of advice for those of you stupid enough to pay over 50 bucks for a cross bread dog WAKE UP and quit bending over and taking it from behind... There is nothing wrong with mutts they are good dogs, but there is something wrong if your actually paying pure bread prices for one!

It's a long the same lines as a person born in the United States saying they are Mexican American or Afro American... Ok your not Mexican or African if you were born in American your American. I can trace my roots back to the Netherlands, Sweden, Ireland, and several other countries and I don't walk around saying I'm a Neswirland American... NO I was born right here I'm just American.

And while I'm on my ranting rage what the hell is up with Parents! I swear we are doomed in our old age. I was reading the news and My Space won't be charged with negligence in the case of a girl who committed suicide because someone was mean to her. I applauded the fact that My space wouldn't be held responsible for something her mother should have been monitoring a little better! I am responsible for my boys it's my job to make sure I know what it going on in their lives. I am the one that is held accountable and trying to pawn my responsibility off on someone else would make me a bad parent. Wake up and start raising your own children people, don't use the Internet for a babysitter you need to know who your kids are talking to online and exactly what they are doing on and off line. That isn't being nosy or invading their space it's called being a responsible parent. No one ever said you have to be friends with your kids. They are not looking for a friend they are looking for you to guide them to adulthood. I love my kids and they love me, but we are not always friends because I have to be their mother above all and sometimes they are not going to like me, sometimes they even hate me, but it goes with the job.
Stop trying to make the government take responsibility for your children and their behavior if you wanted someone else to raise them you shouldn't have had them! I think it's horrible that the little girl killed herself over some mean neighbors, but come on it's the internet and if you don't know what kinds of freaks inhabit this little world then you might want to spend a little more time googling before you turn your children loose here!

I could go on and on and on about all the crap that I find insane, but I have to go to hockey now!

Time seems to be a problem.

2007-11-28T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well I can't believe it's been so damn long since I blogged. I just don't seem to have the time to sit here and write anything. I just cleaned out my drafts and I had about 30 drafts all about a sentence long.

Let's see what has been going on? Hockey lots of hockey. Sick kids lots of sick kids, we have not been sick like this ever. We have spent a small fortune at the Dr. office this year already. Strep throat, ear infections, the crop, colds, and now D has missed the last 3 days of school with the sick stomach flu. I've never seen him lay around so much. He didn't even care he missed his last 2 hockey practices. Usually he pretends to be fine just so he doesn't miss hockey.

Now I'm just trying to get ready for Christmas, because it's coming way to fast and I have not gotten one gift, not even for my family that is out of town like my sister who's gifts have to be mailed before December 22 to make it on time. I was going to take a personal day so that I could go shopping without the kids, but that is out of the question now that I have missed 2 days of work staying home with David. Hopefully the other 2 don't get this crap! So far they have not shared any of their illnesses which is even weirder, and this is the first time D man has gotten sick. Colton didn't even give the strep to anyone else, so maybe I'll get lucky and this will be the end of the ickyness in our house. There are only 15 days until Christmas break, so maybe just maybe we can get back to school tomorrow and stay there until after the new year. Well I've got to go wash somemore blankets that got puked on.

Alzheimer's Convention

2007-10-01T19:13:00.000-07:00

We had try outs for the D man, and he did not make the team. He was a little sad about it, but not too bad. I am thinking that it would be a really good thing if Cam didn't play travel and I wouldn't have to get up at the ass crack of dawn every Friday morning, but Cam is playing on the travel teams so I am getting up before the sun and any normal human on this planet!

I had a birthday last Wednesday, and my dearest husband got me Elton John tickets. The concert was last night. Well of course I have cramps from hell, the whole flu, throwing up, sore throat, headache, someone is trying to shred my insides and pull them out via my belly button, kind of cramps... yeah they are so much fun I long for Chinese water torture and bamboo under the fingernails, but enough with being a female. So it's Sunday and I feel like shit, and Steve is cranky as all get out, which is pretty normal for him lately, but that is another story as well. My mom comes to spend the night with the boys so Steve and I can go to the concert. So off we went. Usually at concerts I dance and sing and have fun, but last night I sat in my chair and just enjoyed the music. Elton John is amazing. I have been to over 1000 concerts in my life, my dad says that is why I am half deaf, and I can honestly say that he sounds exactly the same in person as he does on any of his albums. I enjoyed every minute of my time spent in his presences, and was glad that I choose to go rather than sell the tickets. He played for almost 3 hours none stop, and I could have sat and listened to him another 3 hours easily. When he sings it is as if he is giving you a glimpse into his soul, as he pours all of his emotions into every song he belts out, and he has a beautiful and sometimes tormented soul. I would not miss it if he came to town again. The real fun however was after the show in the parking lot.

Now Elton John has been around a very long time, and he draws a very diverse crowd ranging in age from tots to teens all the way to middle aged and well older people. It's the latter that caused me so much enjoyment. Steve and I are walking to the van, and the couple in front of us suddenly stopped. I'd say they were in their mid to late 50's. She puts her hands on her hips and looks at him and says "You don't have any idea where you parked the car!" I giggle, and he says "I know..." looks around dumbfound "exactly were I parked!" He is scanning the parking lot hoping for a familiar landmark but it is an ocean of vehicles. I am not stifling my giggles anymore I am damn near rolling on the sidewalk I'm laughing so hard and so is Steve. He had no clue where he parked his car and we all knew it, well everyone but him. Then we walk past another lady and she states to us "I'm so lost" all I can do is laugh some more as I open the van door and get inside. It was a sold out show and getting out of the parking lot took awhile so we sat and watched an old man, I'd say 65ish wander back and forth from one side of the lot we were in to the other for about 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure that he was in the wrong lot. There were 2 ladies standing by the light pole and we watched as the man they were with kept coming back to tell them he had not found the car yet, and then the 2 ladies that chased down the wrong truck where also pretty funny. So despite the cramps and wishing for death I had a really good time and it was a wonderful birthday present.

This morning I did not want to get out of bed because it was after midnight when we got home, and I quickly realized that I had been with the right crowd last night as I am getting to old to stay out past 10!

Waiting!

2007-09-18T12:23:00.000-07:00

Wow what a week it's been already. David had travel team tryouts Sunday and Monday and I do not know how they are going to pick the kids this year. I'd say there are 2 or 3 that are diffidently not going to make it and 2 or 3 that diffidently are, and the rest of those kids are so evenly matched that it is almost impossible to pick one over the other. I'd just hate to have to be the guys put into that position, because it is going to be one tiny little thing that makes them pick this kid over that one. We will find out Friday weather D was one of the lucky ones or not. Friday is a long was away when you are 9 and waiting on a big decision like this! He has a really good attitude about it though, he says if he makes it great and if he doesn't then there is always next year! I'm proud of him for that attitude alone and he has nothing to be ashamed of if he doesn't make it, because he went out there and tried.

Well I am on my lunch break so I better get myself back to work or there will be wild kindergartners running lose with no adult!

What day is this?

2007-09-11T21:08:00.000-07:00

Wow I can't believe that we have been in school almost a month already! I don't know what happened to the days, but they seemed to have gotten away from me. We are all back at school or in my case work. Hockey try outs for the D man are this coming weekend already, but there are so many kids trying out that we may not make the team this year, which isn't all that bad really. All that traveling gets old after awhile. Cam will be on the travel team so there goes my friday mornings it'll be up again and at the rink by 6:15! If D makes the travel team then it will be up and to the rink by 5:45 oh the joy of boys in sports!

Lets see nothing exciting has happened in our little part of the world at all which is honestly a good thing because when there is excitment that usually means something has gone wrong.

Colton is still trying to romance every woman from 6 to 60 within a 100 mile radius, and he still has smooth moves. I may have to beat the moves out of him if he keeps this up beyond 10! The boys are doing ok with school. David will never really enjoy it. I wish learning wasn't such a struggle for him. Cam tends to get it after awhile, but he is such a lazy learner hoping someone will just give him the answers and he doesn't have to figure them out on his own! Colton loves learning and soaks up new information like my dry skin soaks up lotion! Standing outside for 4 hours a day has really made my skin dry, and nothing seems to keep the moisture in!

Well that is about all I have left in me I have been drained every night this last month and 10 o'clock seems more like 2 in the morning!

It ain't that I'm wiser, it's just that I've spent more time with my back to the wall

2007-08-09T10:37:00.000-07:00

So I did something I said I would never every do. I'm not proud of myself and it brings me no joy to admit it here. It just shows how inscere I really am, how totally in control of every situtation I need to be. I should feel shame and guilt, but I don't I feel much better now. Oh you want to know what it is that I have done? I bought the D man a cell phone. For the last few years I have seen these kids with cell phones and said "NOt my kids they don't need a freaking cell phone." I changed my way of thinking when all summer long the kids asked if they could ride their bikes to the park, which is like 4 blocks from our house. My answer was always "Not right now I'm doing laundry" or whatever else I was doing at that time. Well the other day I decided I had to start letting them grow up a little, it isn't right for me to be so over protective of them, they need to learn and grow, so I said to D "Take my cell phone and call me when you get to the park and then you call me every 15 minutes to let me know you are ok." He agreed to my terms and off the three of them went, and he followed the rules. He said to me "Mom I need my own phone so I can do stuff." Most of his frineds live in the area, but they are half a mile from our house, so it's always been a no you can't go over unless I take you. Now he has a cell phone and I talk to him all the time, I don't see him nearly as much this week, but he calls me when he gets there and every hour until he leaves. Then we usually talk until he is safely in my sight again. It has given my 9 year old the freedom that I took for granted as a child. I need for him to have that freedom it's important for him to know that I trust him, but I need the security of knowing that he is safe. He can call me if anything happens, he call call 911 if a stranger tried to grab him, and I can call him just to say "I love you baby!"

Roll me away

2007-08-01T21:59:00.000-07:00

Can you tell I'm listen to a little Bob Seger tonight? I'm feeling a bit nostalgic for my youth, Night Moves seems to always take me back to my misspent teenage years. There are times when I think every mother longs for those days when she is only responsible for herself, and her every move doesn't reflect back on her children. I can't just get in the car and roll away now, and I don't know where I'd go if I could at this point in my life. I guess I'm older now, but still running against the wind and the time of working on my night moves has come and gone. God I love Bod Seger songs, it's all there wrapped up in his word, my life.

So I've been to Colorado to see my family. My baby sister got to come as well as my aunt, and my granny got sick, but I got to see them all and I love and miss them already.

There are only 19 days left of summer break for us, which sucks I wish that it were always summer break and the kids and I were always home together, but that's life they need an education, and I sure can't give them one!

Well I wanted a post and I can't think of anything to post so that's all for now!

Time passes so quickly.

2007-07-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

I don't know where the hours seem to go. I'm not overly busy doing anything of importance, but yet finding the time to sit down in front of this little box and actually write seems so bothersome. I have been enjoying the sunshine and the outside world far to much, sleeping in far to late and trying to avoid anything that tastes good. The latter seems to be my only downfall, it's really hard to avoid such summer treats as ice cream and cotton candy at the fair, but I have managed to lose a whole 6 pounds this month. I could have probably eaten a whole bag of cotten candy at the fair and it wouldn't have done me in.

We left the house at 6 pm and after the first ride the Dman said "I'm not leaving til they cut this wrist band off!" He was pretty much telling the truth he rode every ride at the carnival at least twice, some of them more, and it was long after midnight before we got home. They had an awesome time, but they wore me out I bet I walked 12 miles that night!

This friday I am taking them to mom's for Wright days a big celebration they have there every year. They boys have gone since they were tiny and I'll come home friday night and they will stay til sunday. Hopefully Steve will be home this weekend, but I doubt it, seems like every time we can have a kid free run naked through the house and have living room sex weekend he ends up working, not to meantion that I'm getting old and living room sex just isn't all that great!

The following friday we are leaving to Grand Junction to see my grandparents! I am so excited to be going! I miss them something awful and wish that they were closer so that I could go whenever I wanted to.

I've been walking about 2 miles a day or I should say a night. I hate walking when it's hot and there are lots of people out and about to see me waddling around. I can't wait until this weight all comes off. In the time I started blogging I had gained 70 pounds! That is horrid and I am so ashamed of myself. I'm just glad I got out of that depressed little sit in front of the computer and do nothing stage I seemed to be in. I still have a long way to go, but at least I'm getting there. I'm tried of feeling sad and depressed and worthless all the damn time, and I'm the only one who can change that, all the pills in the world won't fix it you just have to get up and do it or the darkness closes in on you and you feel like giving up.

Ok lets see the boys are getting way to freaking big for their own good. D is only about a foot shorter than me, and I'm not exactly short either I am 5'9". We measured him the other day and he is a little over 4'9", and out growning clothes like you would not believe. He is wearing a size 14 jeans the size 12 look like those short pants women wear hitting him at midcalf. I wish they made clothes that actually fit children. The waist is way to loose or the legs are to long! NOthing every fits him properly. He has this thing where he starts looking like he's putting on weight and Steve told him about a month ago "you need to get out and play more bud your getting fat." Now he has grown about 3 inches and has that flat stomach again. I told his dad he was just jealous that he coudln't put on 10 pounds and make things get bigger!

The other 2 are doing well also, but it's late and I'm tried so I will have to save them for another day!

Messed up world!

2007-06-27T12:05:00.000-07:00

I can't believe how crazy the world has gotten. Men killing their wives and children, seem to be the big focus lately. I don't see how your life can be that messed up that you have to kill someone over it. I just don't get it. Oh sure there have been times I've thought "Good lord if my husband gets any stupider I may hit him over the head!", but it's a passing thought I am never really going to harm him physically in anyway no matter how mad he has made me. There have been times when I have threatened the boys. "If you don't straighten up I am going to beat you to death." I don't mean those words and they know it. They know that I am not going to beat them at all much less to death. They are just words used to put emphasis on the fact that I have had enough of whatever they are doing and they better stop. I just don't understand it I guess, but more importantly I don't think I am as affected by all these news stories as I once was.

It's so common anymore for someone to go off half cocked and drowned 5 children in the bathtub, or kill their girlfriend/wife and their unborn child that I think I have become more numb to this kind of news. Oh sure I still feel sad, but it isn't the same kind of sad that it once was. I am bothered by that, it disturbs me that these kinds of things are so common I can have a passing feeling of "Oh that is awful" and go on about my day without giving it another thought. I think most of America feels the same.

I was watching Critical hour or one of those trauma center shows and a group of 3rd graders, the same age as my oldest, were taking a tour of ER. I can't remember what city they were in, but when the lady guiding the tour asked these 8 and 9 year old children "What kinds of things will get you to the trauma center?" all the kids raised their hands. She called on one child and his answered floored me "Getting shot", and 3/4 of the hands went down. It's an everyday thing where they come from, and no one was horrified by it or concerned. Things like that just happen all the time so it's almost as if they expect it, they have become numb to the number of shooting in their city. If you asked my boys their answers would differ greatly, they would have said "cracking your head open, breaking your arm, or getting sick on the weekend when the dr. office isn't open." All kids should be able to have those kinds of answers for why you go to the ER.

We should all be horrified that some pro wrestler killed his wife and son and then himself, we should be terrified that some kid went on a shooting spree in Virginia, that a police officer killed his girlfriend and unborn daughter and then left a traumatized 2 year old home alone. We should feel great sadness that a man killed his wife and 3 children and then attempted to attend their funeral. These things should shock us, make us feel something other than a brief sadness, but it's happening so much that we almost expect to read about it. I wish I knew how to be shocked and terrified by this stuff, and I don't want to except that this is just the way things are. I wish I knew how to change it to make it not acceptable, but I don't and that is maybe more scary than what is happening the fact that we can so easily over look this stuff.

Wow where does the time go?

2007-06-21T14:22:00.000-07:00

I looked at the last post and it's been forever since I've written anything here. I just have not had anything to say I guess. I'm enjoying life outside this box to much to force myself to actually sit in front of it long enough to write a decent post. However today I have been thrown for a loop. The boys are at my mom's and Steve is out of town so it's just me all by my little ole self. I can't believe we are almost at the end of June already. This summer break is going to be short this year.

Really I have not been doing all that much, just spending time with my kids and Steve. He had surgery on his zamaroids, so Colton can now be in the same room with him and not have to worry about getting them! Well that really isn't the case. Once they got in there they found out something I have always known about my darling husband, he's a tight ass! No really the Dr. could only do minor work on him, because he has "a very narrow anal canal" and if they did to much surgery it would create to much scar tissure and he wouldn't function properly! So that has been the source of a lot of entertainment for me. My husband is water tight like a duck. HEEEHEEE! Ok it's only good natured teasing and he takes it very well, because he loves me.

What else? Lets see I wrecked his truck the last week of school, didn't really leave a mark on it, but I was turning and a little truck was pulling out behind a big jacked up truck and he didn't get into the lane of traffic he just stayed by the curb and I hit him, because well I didn't see him at all, and he didn't see me either. Who the hell drives in the gutter anyway? Stupid kid! I think it was more his fault than mine, but luckily there was little damage to either vehicle because we were both going so slow at the point of impact.

Other than that it's all be pretty unexciting around here. The diet is going crappy I've stalled at 61 lbs. I still have about 56 pounds to lose and I don't know if that is ever going to happen! Well I know it's not going to happen if I keep sitting here! I better get up and get busy!

21 days and counting

2007-05-09T16:28:00.000-07:00

There are 21 school days left in this year. I always get excited for the school year to end. The boys start getting restless about the same time the days start getting longer, makes me hate that stupid time change and this last month is always the hardest. I noticed that it isn't just mine there are 300 kids at my school that are the same way.

Today Colton told me that the ladies in his office are not nearly as pretty as the ladies in my office. He loves the girls in our office. Last night D said something that I didn't really like (can't remember what it was probably about tatooes or pircings or growing his hair down to his butt). I told him when he's 18 and moves out he can do whatever he wants to which Colton replied "When I'm 22 I'm gonna have a girlfriend and I'm still coming home!" He says the funniest things sometimes.

He told his dad yesterday "I don't know if I can be by you with those zamaroids falling out your butt all over the place." Yes Steve has to have the zamaroids removed next week.

Well I'm tired and going to go make dinner.

You and me going fishing in the dark...

2007-04-26T06:11:00.000-07:00

2007-04-17T20:35:00.000-07:00

Wow there are only 4 days until Steve gets home. If you asked me at the beginning of this journey if I missed him I would have given you a response much different than the one right now. When he first left I was like well a little time apart won't be that hard. I'm use to him being gone anyway, because he's gone a more than he is home.

It is true he is gone more than he is home, but he comes home. He might be gone 4 days and home 2 and then gone 6 more, but at least I get to see him for those 2 days. Over the past 2 months I have not had those 2 days and I miss them. I miss the way I lay my head in his lap and he twrils my hair in his fingers as we watch TV. I miss the way his foot always finds mine while we are sleeping. I miss the way he plays with the boys. I miss the sex oh boy do I miss that, but that's another type of entry and I don't post about that on the internet. I just plain miss him, and I'm ready for him to come home so I can be content with him coming and going all the time, because at least he is home some then.

Colton is funny!

2007-04-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

Me: "So how many girlfriends do you have this week?"

Colton: "936, because I'm smooth like butter on warm toast."

I don't know where he comes up with some of the stuff he does, but it's funny. He makes me laugh.

At the bus stop he had this converstation with one of my students who is in 6th grade.

Girl: "Where is my hug?"

He jumps into her arms and gives her a big hug then says: "I'd kiss you but I only kiss the really pretty girls and your pretty, but not that pretty!"

Tody in the truck.

Colton: "When I get married I'll have a lot of stuff to do."

Me: "Really like what?"

Colton: "Mow the lawn, water the flowers, and take care of all the babies."

Me: "How many babies are you going to have?"

Colton: "6 or 12, I have a lot of love to give my babies so I can have a lot of them."

Me: "You better have a good job!"

Colton: "I'm going to be rich so I can stay home and take care of them everyday."

I'm not sure how he is going to get rich, but I hope that works out for him.

Oh they are so cute!

2007-04-08T19:44:00.000-07:00

OH MY GOD!

2007-03-27T19:17:00.000-07:00

I waited anxiously for the UPS truck to arrive, and I let out a deep sigh when he finally showed up with my package, a package that promised to give me all the pleasure I could handle! I signed the little board and quickly grabbed my treasures and ran inside. I tore the box open shivering at the thought of what was inside, and ripped through all the plastic wrapping, they wanted to be sure it was safe in it journey to me. It was smooth with just the right amount of curves and it fit perfectly into my hand. I thought it was perfect as I turned it around and around in my hands stroking it and admiring it's beauty. I couldn't wait to use it, oh god the batteries I thought were the batteries charged or would I have to wait to play with my new toy until they were able to power it up. Please let them be charged I prayed as I gently opened the little door, I slipped the batteries in. I closed my eyes hoping something would happen, and I hit the switch. OH yes, they were fully charged! I quickly began pressing buttons as it began doing different things, and I became more and more excited by my purchase. It is perfect and it cost way to much money and now I want all the accessories to go with it, and there are a lot of accessories. I am sure I could spend hours using it at a time, and I probably will. I've already used it several times just today! You want to see a picture of it? Well click here.

Tag no backs!

2007-03-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

Well the lovely http://mtnbkaz.blogspot.com/>Adventure Chick has tagged me. I'm suppose to list 6 weird things about me... I don't think there is anything weird about me! I am a perfect example of normal, but I'll try to share some stuff that you might find weird?

1. I actually don't mind the smell of hockey. Now some of you are thinking what do you mean the smell of hockey... There are a lot of different smells to hockey, the ice when you walk into the rink you can smell the ice, it smells cold and clean and good. Then there are the locker rooms, and hockey locker rooms are not for the faint of heart especially when it's packed full of kids taking off skates after a game it would stink to most people, but to me it isn't really that bad, it's not quite as good as coach smelled the other night, but I will miss the smell of hockey when it's over for the season.

2. I perfer winter over summer. I would much rather have a cool 20 degree day to a hot 80 degree day anytime.

3. I have a lazy eye and it drifts over to the side of my head when I am really tired, and because of that I can focus each eye independently without closing the other one kind of like a flounder.

4. I do not like to be touched on my stomach by anyone, not even Steve, it is an instant turn off. I'm to aware of the fact that I am fat then, even after 10 years together I still hate it.

5. I don't do well with compliments. I get embarassed by them, because I don't really feel like I deserve them.

6. I don't have a crafty bone in my body. I can't even color inside the lines. I don't sew, knit, or any of that stuff, I took sewing in high school and I managed to pull a C in that class only because the teacher felt sorry for me. I don't scrapbook, well I have one for D's travel team this year, but it isn't that nifty scrapbooking people do. I have a photo album with a few pictures and all the tourney programs in it. Nothing neat or organized just stuffed in the book. I have all these ideas for neat projects, but I don't have the ability to do them...

So see I'm not all that weird really.

Pondering the meaning of life

2007-03-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

"Hey that looked like hockey coach!" Cam says, referring to D's coach who is an adorable 22 year old kid, and by adorable I mean makes me wish I were 22 again.

"That wasn't him Cam that was a lady." I say wondering why he would even say it looked like him, because this was a blond older lady. I just shook my head in confusion.

"Maybe it was his wife." Cam states.

"He's not married Cameron." D says.

"Why not?" Cam says, and without waiting for a reply he says, "He could marry you mom."

I started laughing and said, "What about your dad?"

"He can find another girl." Cam says.

"Hockey coach?" I ask thinking he has changed his mind at the mention of his father.

"No dad can get him a new wife, and you can marry hockey coach." by this point my eyes are watering because I am laughing.

"I'm almost old enough to be his mother honey. I don't think your dad wants to find a new wife anyway."

"Your in your 30's and he's in his 20's it isn't that much mom, besides dad would probably like a new wife." Cam says nodding his head and you can see the wheels turning in there. "Yep you could ask him?"

"Ask dad if he wants a new wife?" I'm still laughing.

"No ask hockey coach if it bothers him you are in your 30's." I about had to pull the car over I couldn't see, I could hardly breath, and my side still hurts from laughing.

"I'm pretty sure it would bother me!" I say.

"Why? He plays hockey mom." and I guess to a 7 year old that is the only prerequisite I should have, my singles ad would read "Must play hockey, nothing else matters."

I think Cam misses his dad and is thinking he is never coming back anyway, so he might as well pick one out now at least that way he will have a choice in who it is.

Quickie!

2007-03-07T23:42:00.000-07:00

Steve is in France.

In house hockey is officially over for the season.

Travel hockey only has one more tourney.

I've lost 52 lbs.

The last hockey tourney was awesome. We took the mini's with us and both teams were undefeated.

My mite parents are the best. I did a lot of the age rep stuff, because the girl who was suppose to do it didn't and my parents got me a jacket that Rocks!

The job is going great.

I am going to bed.

Long time!

2007-02-25T16:07:00.000-07:00

Well It's been awhile. I've been to busy to read and to busy to write. Last weekend we had out state games and I was at the rink all weekend. The boys did awesome, David's team took the gold and Cam's team took the bronze. This weekend Cam got to had out the awards for the high school championship, and we watch the kids play. There were some amazing games of hockey played this weekend. We don't have hockey all weekend, and yet we still managed to spend half our weekend there. I think something must be wrong with us!

Colton thinks he might play next year... and then I'm really in trouble. I will have 10 practices a week to make it through. We'll manage one way or another, but it won't be fun, oh who am I trying to kid the boys love playing and I love watching them!

That's all I have. I'm tried and trying to get the house cleaned up this weekend. We go to Rapid next weekend and both boys play there.

One more month!

2007-02-11T16:26:00.000-07:00

I got the job, so now that I am full time I have less time for anything else. I don't get off until 5 so the boys ride the bus to where I am, and it works out good. We leave from work and go straight to hockey Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday.

We had another busy week last week. On top of hockey we had Cam's school program Thursday night and then Friday our mite travel team started their tourney. So I was at the rink by 6 am today and yesterday. The tourney went awesome, except for one team who's coaches and parents shouldn't even be allowed in the game of hockey! The coach threw a fit every time he didn't get his way and the parents were rude and nasty to every one else. I am so glad we don't have coaches who treat our children the way that man treated his, they are 8 year old kids not NHL hockey players. In the 4 years we have played I have never seen a better example of poor sportsmanship. Then after the game the other coach for their team verbally attacked our kids making one of them cry he was so mean all because they lost a hockey game. I honestly wanted to stomp him into the ground. I don't care who you are you don't call an 8 year old child a "F-ing little bastard" I just can't believe that they allow either of them to coach. If I had a child on that team I would pull him off so darn fast. I am still shocked that grown men act that way. I am going to write a letter to their board and let them know exactly how they acted.

Our boys played great they had 2 wins, a tie, and one lose this weekend and tied for third place over all. They are awesome. When the man got irate they all gathered around the one he was yelling at protecting him. It was great to see them being a team off the ice as well as on the ice.

After the tourney today Cam had a game and scored a hat trick and an assist. Now we are getting ready to go back to the rink for David's in-house practice, and I'm gearing up to do another tourney next weekend for both boys. Then we go to on out of town one in March and we are done! Thankfully I have almost made it through another season.

Ever feel like that?

2007-01-25T21:11:00.000-07:00

I have just been spinning, and I can't wait until March is here and hockey is over! It will be so nice to not have to run to the rink every night and that god awful one of friday mornings is going to be the death of me! Not to meantion the total battle that is going on right now. We have a thing called state games here it is kind of like the olympics, but only teams from our state play. Well we have played on cross ice all season, and really it has worked out well for our kids that are on the travel team, but the kids that aren't have not really progressed as greatly as promised. Which doesn't effect me, because David is skating pretty well, and loves playing on full ice anyway. He knows icing and off sides and he likes have a position to play.

So the thing is these state games are more than likely going to be played on full ice, the kids that have never played full ice don't have a clue how different it is. So we were suppose to play the rest of the month on full ice to get them prepared for what the tourney would be like... well that didn't fly with some people. Now there is a huge battle going on worse than when they first introduced cross ice. There are now all these meeting to establish just how we need to go about all this and by the time we get it all figure out they will maybe have one chance to get on full ice. So everyone is upset about something and I'm so sick of hockey it's unreal!

The subbing job is about up, but I interviewed for the full time position. I don't know if I will get it, but I am hopeful. I really like the people over there and the kids are great! I should know soon.

2 Goals in 5 games

2007-01-14T15:06:00.000-07:00

I got the call this morning that the boys had another shut out and they would be playing for 1st place at 11:30. I was amazed that was 3 shut outs in 4 games. That is awesome! So I got the other 2 ready and off we went to watch Cam play his hockey game today. I am back behind the bench doing the scoreboard when my pocket started viberating, get your minds on track here, my phone was in my pocket! I quickly grab the phone to hear "well they shut 'em out again!" I started jumping up and down and screaming and was extreamly overjoyed as everyone in the ice rink looked at me like I had lost my mind. I didn't care I was so excited I couldn't stand it I ran over to Cam grabbed him by his head and started shaking him shouting "they won Cameron they won." Cam's coach looked at rather funny so I slinked back to my spot behind the score board.

David called me after every game to let me know what happened and who made goals and who got assists and he gave me the play by play of every game... I think he missed me! They are on their way home and he just called wondering what time they had hockey tonight... they are still 3 hours away and hockey is a 6. I don't think they are going to make it, but as he was hanging up I heard him inform his dad that he needed to drive faster. I don't think he even likes playing hockey! I just can't wait for them to get home so I can wrap my arms around him and tell him that I am proud of him!

Stumbling

2007-01-12T20:40:00.000-07:00

I am trying really hard to not call Steve again tonight, because I have called probably 5 times already. When he is gone for work I seldom call him. I like to know that he has arrived at his distination in one piece and is ok. I call him if there has been some exciting event around here to retell or something major has happened. He calls me once a night or every other night depending on how late he has worked. We are good with that we don't have to talk all the time.

Today however he has abducted my oldest child and taken him across the state. This is the very first time I have let D go off somewhere with his dad for more than a few hours at a time. I have tried in the past to let him be in charge of the boys, but it never works. I am their mother and I am suppose to be there. This is the first time I have missed a hockey game much less four with the possibility of a championship game.

I am antsy and I want to know what they are doing every second. I called them while they were driving there like 4 times. "Are you guys ok? How are the roads?" "Oh I just needed to tell you I forgot to pack D's toothbrush." "I was just getting worried about you guys are you getting close?" Then they called me when they got there and I have called them a number of times already... "Don't forget you have to be there 45 minutes before the game." "Oh you need to check and make sure both pair of socks are in his bag." "Hey hon did you grab both stick? He wanted his new stick." The very sad thing is I know the answer to every question before I even make the call. I packed D's stuff he has is home and away socks, jerseys, and both sticks. He has his warm-up and he has his shirt and tie. He has everything he needs with him except me! I am missing it and it drives me crazy, but it is also driving Cam crazy as well. He said to me "mom we never miss David's games!"

I just have to get through 2 days and then he will be home and I will be taking him on his next trip. I hope they do well at this one though. They were all really excited and ready to win! I hope they at least take 2nd place that would be awesome for them.

UPDATE:
They won their first game this morning with a shut out. WOOO HOOO I am proud of my boys! The score was 5 to 0!

UPDATE 2:
they just won their 2nd game 5 to 2! Only one more left today!

UPDATE 3:
My boys are awesome! AWESOME I tell you! They just called and they won their last game of the day with another shut out 7-0! Yes I am jumping up and down and cheer right now!

In the news today

2007-01-09T06:59:00.000-07:00

Lets see where to start?

Steve's France trip got pushed back to March because they were to busy right now to send him, but since Christmas I have seem him about 3 days. I think him working out of town a lot is the glue that holds our marriage together as I am not an easy person to live with, but neither is he most days. We appreciate each other much more when we don't see each other everyday.

Basements dry and cleaned up, but the rest of my house is starting to look like a crack house it such a mess! My cleaning days have been reduced to Thursdays and Sat. the rest of the week things just pile up.

David goes to Jackson to play hockey this weekend. He said they are going to take first place up there and I hope they do! That would be so cool for them. Steve was suppose to take them, but he is in Utah this week and who knows if he will get screwed out of his vacation or not! I hope that he can take them. I would love to go and watch them play, but I can see them play here in Feb. and I'll take him on the March trip we go on. It would be a good weekend for Steve and David to spend some quality time together. Sometimes they get on each other nerves, probably because D is his mothers child, and the same things that irriate me irriate him as well.

I am still working. I love my job really. It is like I went from being a mom to 3 to a mom of 300, and just like at home some days are very trying. Over all it's worth it though.

A river runs through it!

2007-01-02T02:48:00.000-07:00

Well new years day went surprisingly smooth. New Years eve however whole different story. I was awoken to "Hey mom the basement's full of water?" from the D man and Cam.

Me: "What?"
D: "Yeah you can wade in the basement mom, where's my trunks?" giggling the whole while!
Steve: "is it the washer?"
Me: full well knowing the hot water heater has held on as long as it can. I've only had to relight the damn thing 230 times in the last 2 months. "It the hot water heater."
Steve: "No it's got to be something else." because he doesn't want to admit I was right all along!
D: "Is that why it kept going off?"
Me: "Yep" as I get up to go check it out.

Sure enough you could wade in the basement. I had taken all the bedding, the new christmas cloths, and all the clothes to be washed down and they were neatly in their piles and instead of heading for the floor drain the water made its way right for my neatly stacked piles. Everything was sopping wet. Luckly I hadn't taken down the tree yet because everything under the stairs had to be taken out to dry. I had a box of baby blankents and all my "to fit into" clothes were under there and they all have to be washed now cause they are drinched and they were not small boxes we are talking TV sized boxes. I don't know what happened, but the stupid water heater must of leaked all night and kept filling up and leaking somemore. I have done most of the laundry. I am working on the towels we used to sop up water with and that is about 8 loads of towels!

Getting the new hot water heater was an adventure I didn't go on! Luckily I was smart enough to take the boys ice skating. Steve went and priced them and found one while we were at the rink. The getting it in the house was an adventure I wished I had missed. Steve got the dolly out, we were doing good until we got to the stairs. I managed to pull the whole box right off the dolly and down onto my knee, but I'm tough I pushed it right back up onto the dolly got it into the basement and then said my four letter words. I am sporting a bruise about the size of my fist just above my knee and it hurts.

Funny thing on the way home from skating.
D man "Colton was hitting on the girls again mom! He is so embarassing!"
Colton: "Well she was a hottie mom. I'm smooth I asked her on a date."
Me giggling uncontrolablely: "where are you taking her?"
Colton: "We already went I took her ice skating."
Cam: "She was a hottie, but she was to old for Colton!"

Boy I can't wait til they are teenagers!

2006 review

2006-12-30T21:08:00.000-07:00

Well much like 2005 this year didn't offer much excitement, but then I am getting older and don't require much excitement anymore.
The good things about last year:

David is doing so much better in school that my stomach isn't in knots and my heart isn't breaking making him go off to school nearly as much as it had in the past.

I started working in the school so I have some of my own money and I am off when my babies are home!

The boys had a great christmas.

My granny is much better than she was over the summer.

I lost 30 pounds.

Bad things:
I lost my best friend Doc. That was and is still very hard. He is on the TV stand and I still talk to him most days.

The guinea pig incendent. (D stepped on him and killed him).

I only lost 30 pounds!

Things I am going to do this year:

Listen to more music. I didn't listen to music nearly enough last year and it makes me happy.

Go see my granny.

Go ice skating with the boys more!

Lost more weight!

I wouldn't really call them resolutions just plans. Plans change resolutions fail! Happy New Year!

Christmas

2006-12-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

If I have to listen to anymore star wars games I may scream! The boys got a play station and I swore I was never going to let them have one, but I caved in to the pressure. I have given them free play til tomorrow then they go on the timer and can have it for 45 minutes each until christmas break is over. The newness will wear off soon and they won't want to play it so much after awhile. Guitar Hero is pretty fun, but other than that I could take it or leave it. I'm not much of a video game fan myself. They made out like little bandits. We have new hockey backpacks, gear, and cards. We have an interactive drawing table thing, playstation and games, nerf guns, moon shoes, GI joe stuff, and light sabers scattered about the living room. I don't even remember what color the carpet in here is because there is so much stuff laying around. They pick it up and cart more out so I gave up trying to clean up!

I got some clothes, a shampooer for the carpet (if I find the carpet again I may try it out), music download card, and a huge frying pan that will actually cook 6 pork chops at one time in one pan! The bigger they get the more food I have to make and that always means more dirty dishes! I also got some nice towels and a vcr/dvd recorder.

Over all it wasn't a bad christmas I've had worse that is for sure. Mom and dad came up and we went out to eat dinner because they couldn't be here that long. It was nice to play with toys and then go eat, come home and nap for an hour. I always hate having to cook and clean up everything. I think that is what we will do from now on.

Hope you all had a nice Christmas and Happy New year to you all!

Time keeps on slippin' into the future!

2006-12-14T16:58:00.000-07:00

I am busy busy busy. I have been working everyday and it will probably keep going until sometime after the new year, and then we had a hockey tourament last weekend and I was in charge of that so I got to see one game for each boy. Cameron won all four of his games and David's team won 3 out of 4. I was very proud of them both.

I took half the day off monday so I could do my christmas shopping and now I am almost done with it, still have a few things left to get, but not much. I did manage to get the tree up last friday before I had to get to the rink, but I still have not decorated the house the stocking are all sitting here in a pile waiting to be hung so sat. I will have to get busy with that or christmas will come and go and they will still be sitting here.

Other than being to tired to stay up past 10 things are pretty good here. Hope everyone is doing well and I will try to check in soon.

Quick notes

2006-11-28T16:00:00.000-07:00

Wholly crap it's already been a long week and it's only tuesday 3 more to go! I am going to be working indefinatly and it isn't that bad really I may go full time as soon as they post the job which would be nice and 2 extra bucks more an hour so that isn't bad at all.

Our boys did great in Colorado. They only took one win out of 4 games, but I didn't even expect them to win any and they kept the games really close. D have a goal and 3 assists through the weekend that was awesome for him! They played like a team and mostly stayed in their positions which was really great.

Steve does go to France in Jan. which sucks he will be gone until March which means he misses a lot of the hockey season.

Well I'm off to hockey Cam has a game tonight!

Happy Thanksgiving~

2006-11-23T15:32:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting here alone all by myself attempting to get 3 kids packed, hockey gear gathered up, dress clothes ironed, because they have to wear dress clothes between games, and me some clothes packed as well so we can leave here at 5am to get to Denver by 1:00 for D's first game. Then I have to get my work clothes washed and put away so that I have something to wear to work next week. I sent the boys all 4 of them off to Steve's sisters house so they could at least have dinner, because I didn't have time to make turkey and all the fixings this year and I didn't really have time to go over there to eat either. I think that made Steve angry, but it wasn't like he pitched in to help me get any of the stuff I had to do done so he really has no reason to be mad at me! I'm off to fold socks now. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Working!

2006-11-14T11:51:00.002-07:00

I have been doing classified subbing at the schools, and today I got a call for a school that isn't to far away from us that needs someone for possibly the rest of the month and could turn into a full time position for the rest of the year! I hope that it does it would be good to get out of the house everyday while the boys are at school, and really we could use the extra money! So I probably won't be around between working and hockey my time is pretty used up now!

Last week the washer that was only 5 years old quit spinning. It is one of those stupid front load washers and the motor went out. I started searching for a motor only to find that they were about 160 bucks, and then the control panel had to be replaced as well and that was another 180 bucks so last night my wonderful husband who loves me more than anyone should went and bought me a new washer! I love that man he takes such good care of me! I got a top load that is much cheaper to fix and it only cost $260.00!

We have a hockey tourney in Denver the day after Thanksgiving and D is very excited about that! He has invited everyone he knows to come with us. We told him he was going to play the AVS, and he was like "no way they will cream us!"

Steve may have to go to France for 2 months and I really don't like the idea of him being gone so long, but if he goes he will be able to get better raises as he will have the classes that they require them to have. His fingers are still broken, but they think they might heal with a little more time... It's been over 2 months how long do they think it will take?

Anyone doubting global warming? It is mid November and it has been raining here it never rains in the middle of November it snows I'm totally convinced that we are all doomed! Well probably not in my life time, but I do wonder what the future holds for the boys and their kids if we don't take a serious look at what is going on.

That's about all I have I'll try to get around and check up on everyone soon!

Parent teacher conf.

2006-11-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

We had our parent teacher conferiences last thursdays and I am pleased to say that all 3 boys are right on track this year! Do you know how good that feels to be able to say they are all 3 doing pretty darn good!

Colton has a problem with talking, but I knew that going in, and I have subbed in his class several time this year already so I know how he is, but he is still learning and doing great!

Cameron started off struggling a little, but then got into the swing of things again and is doing well. He doesn't like to write, which is weird considering how much writing I love! His dad isn't a writer though so that could be where he gets it.

Then we move on to the D man, this child who for the last few years of school has had anxiety issues, low self confidence, and just over all a very hard time trying to master his reading is now raising his hand and answering questions he is eager to go to the board and work out math problems, and he is improving on his reading daily! He is back with his same teachers, and she said "Jenn he is a different child this year, he isn't so shy, and he isn't scared to raise his hand. He is doing great this year." I was so happy, and I think the decision to keep him in 2nd grade was the best one for him!

Committee

2006-11-09T16:50:00.000-07:00

So I'm on this committee you all know that already... Last night we had our first meeting and there was one lady that seemed to have a personal agenda to attack me. I don't even know why she was there as she has 2 girls in the program that are very non competitive, and neither one of them is a mite? So I am sure she just came to make sure her opinion of me was heard, because she really didn't have anything beneficial to say other then I like to create chaos and maybe I should just take David out of hockey. First I can't help it that my mini mite is one of the best players on the ice, and hers doesn't get any puck time, and secondly I can't help it that I want to be sure the format they are implimenting is the very best for these kids, because it's out come effects my kids. She thinks we should blindly follow whatever someone else tells her, and I've never been good at blindly following. The thing is she has talked to a few mite parents that want only cross ice situtations. I have talked to just about all of them. I know every damn mite parent out there so I have heard every opinion they all have and half the squirts parents opinions as well. I know how divided this whole mess is, and there is a happy medium but no one wants to compromise. I guess I don't understand why it has to be one way or the other. I have looked at other programs, I have talked to coaches from very respected programs around the country, and I have tried to educate myself on this whole cross ice issue. I can only find a few people that agree that a strictly cross ice program is the best way to go.

Stop touching me!

2006-11-01T08:29:00.000-07:00

I spent the afternoon serving up all kinds of sugary goodness to the first grade class yesterday, they had a great party and then I gathered up my 3 and we came home. From 3:30 to 5:00 I heard "Can we go now mom?" They were ready to trick or treat so with pillowcases in hand me, a ninja, captian Jack, and the grim reaper headed out the door to case the neighborhood for candy. We went up and down the streets stopping at the houses I knew were safe, and made it home by a quarter after 7. The boys scattered there loot from one side of the living room to other to check out what they got, and each of them were quite happy. They enjoyed answering the door and handing out candy to the other ghosts, goblins, and princesses that came a knocking, and then about 8:45 I said "boys start getting your candy picked up and put away it's almost time for bed." The baby looked at me and said "but mom you didn't feed us don't we get dinner tonight?" The other 2 quickly chimed in with "we're hungry for real food mom." I totally forgot I didn't get them any dinner we had been so busy up to that point no one even thought about dinner or maybe I'm just losing my mind either way they eventaully did get some "real food" and were in bed and asleep by 10.

As we were walking from door to door last night David stops turns to me and says "hey mom do you think we could gets signs and yell full ice full ice you know like they do on the news when they want to change something?" This whole mess has him very frustrated and makes me want to scream and hit someone!

Cross ice, Surgery, and the most awesome coach!

2006-10-30T21:48:00.000-07:00

David is upset beyond belief, and I can see his point and there is nothing I can do about it. They have taken the mites and went from playing full ice games to cross ice games, now I know some of you have no clue what the means, and basically it will only benefit D's skills. What they are doing is dividing the rink into cross sections and not using the whole ice for their games. Well David's whole view on it is he did his time as a "little kid" and played the half ice games already, then he got to be a big kid and play just like the big guys and all of a sudden they are taking that away from him again and making him play like the little kids do. He is hurt and thinks he's not good enough. No matter how hard I try to explain it to him he now hates hockey. He probably loved playing hockey more than any kid out there, he played with such heart, and he isn't the best player out there by a long shot, he is one of the fastest, but he isn't that great at stick handling and controlling that speed is out of the question he goes balls to the wall, and I can see where this new program will help him out in that, but he can't. What he sees is he isn't good enough. Then I was upset because out of the 15 parents that showed up to the meeting tonight to express their views on it only 3 of us had enough guts to say we are against it. Sunday at practice every parent I talked to was pissed off about it, and then all of a sudden in the meeting only 3 of us spoke up everyone else agreed it was the best and then walked out of the lobby doors pissed off. I was a little baffled by that. Anyway in our house once you start something you finish it and David started the season so he has to finish it, no matter how unpleasant it is going to be for me.

Steve went to the Dr. last Friday and his fingers have about a half in gap between the bones so that means we are looking at surgery to have them fixed, which means he will spend another 2 months on light duty with little or no overtime! I am going to have to get a job if that happens.

Cam has been pissed off about not being able to skate with the big kids, but then he got the coach he wanted and now he is much happier. When Coach told him "Cam your on mine team." Cam jumped up and down and said "YES!" he was very excited. Then he was excited when the mites went to cross ice too, which didn't help the D man situation at all!

Aloha Friday!

2006-10-27T09:41:00.000-07:00

The only bad thing about Friday is getting up so freaking early, thankfully D man is always ready I hardly have to say a word to him about getting up he loves hockey that much. Then once practice is over it's over until Sunday that means for 2 whole nights in a row I don't have to go anywhere, and that makes me happy.

I was discussing religion with my neighbor and shocked her I think. When I told her I didn't believe in God she was sad for me. I'm not sad for me why should she be? I'm not sad for her or think she is any less intelligent because she believes. I am very careful when I talk about religion with other people, because I don't want them to think I think they are ideological idiots, that seems to be the way they think we view them. When I was in my early 20's finding God was like a quest for me. I thought "normal" people believed and had faith, and once I realized that I didn't have to believe it was as much as a relief for me as it is for those that search and suddenly find god. There was a great weight lifted off of me. I didn't have to believe in a God to be normal I am as normal as I get just the way I am. I think it's the logical side of my mind that rules. Logically to me there is no possible way that this God could exist and have created all things, but that surely doesn't mean that I pity people who have great faith. I admire the fact that they can blindly believe in something so profound.

Speaking of religion and God my boys have faith that there is a god. David told me last night "mom I know you think Cameron hates you, but he really doesn't every night in his prayers he tells God that he loves you." I asked D man what he says and he told me "He says 'God please don't be mad at me for being mean to mom I love her more than anything.' he says it every night mom." I know Cam loves me, but he likes me to think he doesn't so he can get his way. He requires a lot of attention and I try to split it between 3 kids and Steve and somedays are better than others.

I think it's nap time now. I went to bed at 11 last night fell asleep about 1, woke up at 3 fell back to sleep at 4 and the alarm went off at 5:45. If you add it all up that's almost 4 whole hours of sleep! Normally my sleep comes between 4 and 8 and the little bits I get between 1 and 4 are just an add bonus. I wish I could sleep like Steve his head hits the pillow and he is out.

Working moms

2006-10-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

I don't know how mom's who have to work outside the home actually do it and manage to raise kids too. Yesterday I subbed for the Kindergarten Aid and I got nothing done at home. We got out of school and came home grabbed a snack, helped Steve get his hunting junk put away, and then it was off to hockey. This is the 2nd time I have subbed and I like it. I am just going to keep putting my name in for jobs that open up and eventually they will give me a job down there!

Steve had vacation last week and him and my dad went elk hunting. They say they are going hunting, but what they really mean is they are going camping in the cold so they can sit around and drink beer with gossip about the women folk. They both had a great time, but didn't kill anything, which is good really because I hate wild game. I was raised eating it, and then I moved out and discovered beef. Dad has promised to take the boys turkey hunting next month, so that should be a lot of fun for them too.

Travel team hockey is going well. David actually got up before me last Friday and he was ready to go when my alarm went off. He came in and told me to hurry up.

Cam is still mad at me because he is still a mini mite this year, and he wanted to move up to skate with his brother. He is more than able to keep up with them, but his birthday is in January and he needed to be Dec. to move up.

I have 100 things to get done today and I am lacking the ambition to get anything started this morning.

Gather round

2006-10-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Every once in awhile I start writing a new story... I have yet to finish one. I am not a very good writer, but I do love doing it. Today I thought crap I don't have anything else to share so I'll share my latest soon to me stuffed in a file I have named stories I may someday finish...

The cold night air surrounded her like a blanket, the numbing effect of the bitter chill should have made her want to seek refuge indoors, but she kept walking farther away from the shelter of the house. The tears froze to her cheeks as she wandered aimlessly into the night. The kids needed her now more than ever, and if she didn't have them she would lay down in the snow and gladly except whatever fate came her way. The thought of her children gave her some strength, but she wondered if she would be enough for them. It was never in her big plan to raise them all on her own, even when things were at there very worst in her marriage she chose to stick it out and keep her family in tact.

She fell to her knees in the snow, buried her head in her hands and wept. "Damn you!" she screamed, "Damn you for doing this to me!" the tears warmed her cheeks before they froze in a puddle in front of her. Time, that's what she had heard for the last day and a half, it's going to take time to heal, well she didn't want to heal; she wanted her life back the way it was, even the bad times were better than what she had now. The familiar sound of her oldest son's voice brought her back to the world of the living. She stood, brushed the snow off, composed herself as best as she could, and walked back towards the house.

"I'm here, baby." She called to him as she waved her hand in the air. He stood in the doorway waiting for her. She watched as his grandmother walked up behind him. The nerve of that woman she thought, and she wished she would just go home and leave them alone. It wasn't as if she was really concerned for them, she hadn't really cared about them in all this time and it was too late to start caring now. She tried to think back to a time when her mother in law had cared, but she couldn't recall one. Oh she showed up for birthdays and Christmas, but that was about it, and she resented the woman for that and always had.

"Amy what are you doing out here?" her mother in law tried to acted worried, but they had known each other long enough that there really was no need to pretend. Amy wanted to yell at her to go away, but she wouldn't, not with her son standing there.

"I just needed some air." She said as she walked up the steps to her home, their home that seemed so empty now without him in it. She took Joe's hand and brushed past her mother in law, took a deep breath and proceeded to go in and face the family that had gathered at her house. Her 3 boys gathered around her protectively, as if guarding her from a vicious mob. Her boys so young, yet so aware of what was going on. Joey was only 12, and that was far too young to have to be so worried about his own mother. Parents were the ones that needed to worry for their children not the other way around. These boys would be her guiding light, and with them she would weather this storm.

Amy looked around at the people gathered in her living room, his family. They had come for selfish reasons she was sure of that, but she couldn't be sure what their motives were just yet. She was sure that they were not getting a thing from her or her boys she would see to that.

365 days

2006-10-15T22:26:00.000-07:00

The average life span in America is about 75 years. 75 years use to seem like a long time, you know I would see an older person and think wow they have had a long life... Then I got to thinking just how many days it is. 75 years is only 27,375 days. I was really taken back by that. I have been alive for 12,795 days that only gives me 14,580 days, give or take a few years, left. I have wasted at least 2,555 of the days I have already had, and I don't get a do over for those days. It just isn't enough time! I want forever or at least 100,000 days. I don't think that 274 years is that long really, heck I'd even take 50,000 days that is only 137 years! Our time here is just so very short, we are gone in the blink of an eye when it come right down to it. Make good use of your days while you have them, because a day goes by so fast and they are numbered!

I love my boys!

2006-10-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

The alarm went off at 5:45 this morning, giving us 15 minutes to get D geared up and out the door. I touched his leg and said "Baby it's time to get up." He jumpped out of bed, grabbed his bag and without so much as an "I'm tired mom" he got ready to go. He was ready before I even got my teeth brushed, and that was all I did. Steve didn't have to go out of town so we were lucky that it was just the 2 of us this morning. I threw on some socks and slippers and out the door we went. I walked into the rink looking just like I had stumbled out of bed, oh yeah I had! All the kids were very excited about being on the travel team so there wasn't any complaints from them, but all of us parents were very quiet this morning staring at each other like we "why are we doing this?" I think the big thing about the travel team parents are they are the dedicated ones, the ones that never miss practice or games, because this is what their child loves to do and we make sure that is what they get to do. Oh sure we complain and would rather sleep in, but we don't because our kids love the game so much.

So we are full swing into hockey now. David will have 4 practices a week and Cam will have 2. We have 3 tournments this year that we have to put on, and 2 or 3 out of town. The out of town ones are easier, because I don't have to work them. The in town ones mean I don't get to watch the boys play as much I will be working them, but it's worth it to let the boys play. I wish more parents were willing to put in the time, but it always seem to be the same parents!

Colton has decided that he doesn't really like hockey, because you have to skate and he hates skating, but the big one is he would get to sweaty and stinky! I think that is awesome! I don't know if I could hack having all 3 of them on the ice at different times.

Teaching

2006-10-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

Over here is yet another debate about the state of our education system. I know all about a child that struggles in a subject. David is still struggling with reading, and as a mentor volunteer I must say that he is not the only child at that school that is struggling. I go in and I read with these kids every Monday and I am in utter shock that ever parent of every one of these children are not at the school every day question why. As a parent it is my responsibility to make sure that my boys get the best education possible, and I just don't see that happening right now. I am not saying they have bad teachers, but it is partly the teachers fault as well as the administration and the parents. If one child fails then the teacher should view that as a personal failure, especially at the grade school levels. If my job were sorting apples and I kept letting apples that were rotten go to market I wouldn't have a job very long, and it should be the same for teachers if they have one child every year that is behind something needs to be looked at.

They need to take it more personal, and ask themselves "what can I do to make this child get it?" It could be as simple as making a curriculum change or moving the child to a different place in the classroom. I want a teacher to call me and say "I really think your child would do well if he/she were put in this program we have" or "Do you have a few minutes to come in so we can go over some of the stuff your child is having problems with and some way that you can help at home." It isn't that hard to pickup a telephone and reach me I am here all day and if I'm not my cell phone number is listed on all the boys' information sheets. I am at the school at least 3 times a week. I am very easy to reach, and I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to help my children. They are my life, and if I feel you are not doing your very best as their teacher I will call you on it. I will be in your face and I will be telling you how to improve in your job. Then we have to add in the administration.

If one child fails then one teacher has failed, and that means the administration is not doing their job well enough either. We need to climb the ladder and go right to the top and say "Hey mister super-intendent I am holding you accountable."

I get frustrated that I send my children off to school and I have to be there standing over shoulders making sure the job is being done. If I hired a plumber I would not expect to have to stand in the bathroom and tell them how to unclog the toilet, and I shouldn't have to do that with a teacher. I will be taking D out of school next year if he is not meeting benchmarks for the year. I will be teaching him at home where I know exactly what he is learning and what he isn't. I understand that not all children are the same. I have 2 others and one is pretty average when it comes to school and the other does very well, but it isn't these boys that worry me as much as the oldest. He just doesn't get reading and without reading he is doomed to fail in everything he ever does! I have experienced that he is among many children that are struggling reads, and I have spent many hours researching the things other schools are doing to help. I have been working on some different things that I hope to push the school into implementing and there are some things that I am going to be pushing we do away with. I don't get paid for this or credit for it in anyway. I am doing it to help these kids, because the system seems to be failing.

Keywords are fun!

2006-10-09T10:59:00.000-07:00

I have a few minutes before I have to run off again, so I was looking at my stat counter, because the keyword searches amuse me (I'm easily amused!) and this one made me giggle: Things he does not want to hear in bed. I thought boy the things I could come up with for that. So go ahead play along at home...

Things he does not want to hear in bed.

"That was ok, but I've had better."
"I was faking it."
"OH BOB" when his name is Joe.
"You're not really very good at this is it your first time?"
"My old boyfriend was never that quick."

Have to run I'm job hunting. Actually the school has another opening I'm going to go put my name on the list... wish me luck.

Once upon a time

2006-10-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

David made the travel team and now I have to take him to hockey practice at 6 in the morning ever friday! Oh the joy of being a mom to 2 boys who love hockey. I don't know how getting him up so early is going to work out, but I promised him I would take him as long as he got up and got ready without a lot of complaining, and he has to keep up in school or that will be the end of it. Cam is pissed off because he doesn't get to play travel with his brother, and I am already tired of being at the rink. The schedule changed so this year we will have practice monday, tuesday, wednesday, friday, and twice on sundays. I am thinking that the boys should have taken up knitting or something I could stay home to do. I am not ready for all that running around to start again. There really isn't anything else going on.

I'm not Lisa my name is Julie

2006-09-28T14:31:00.000-07:00

Keyword searches:
Why doesn't Jenn love me anymore. (I found someone better!)

Jenn left me how can I get her back. (You can't have me so get over it.)

How do I get Jenn to do me. (That's my little secret, only the very lucky ever figure that one out.)

Jenn oh Jenn please love me. (I do love you honey, but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with you.)

My dog is abusive. (I just don't even have a response for that? How can a dog be abusive?)

and as usually 14 searches for Jenn Cam. She does have one, however it's not located here and I'm not her.

I often, ok every damn day really, turn the tv on to music choice and listen to classic country. Today a song came on that made me think of Jack and his views on Tim Mcgraw. I had to giggle.

Don't Call Him a Cowboy
Conway Twitty

So you came from New York city
and you want to see the sights
You've heard all about those cowboys
and those crazy Texas nights
I see you've got your eye on something
leaning on the bar
But the toughest ride he's ever had
was in his foreign car

CHORUS:
So don't call him a cowboy
until you've seen him ride
Cause a Stetson hat and those fancy boots
don't tell ya what's inside no
and if he ain't good in the saddle
Lord you won't be satisfied
So don't call him a cowboy
until you've seen him ride
He's the Hollywood idea
of the wild andd wooly west
In his french designer blue jeans
and his custom tailored vest
You think he's the real thing
but I think you oughta know
He can't even make it through
a one night rodeo No

Where ya goin'?

2006-09-27T07:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to the humane society shelter with my baby and his class for their field trip. I love 5 and 6 year olds they are a great source of entertainment. This was the first bus trip for many of them and they were so excited about getting to ride the bus! Colton inturpted the quiet game to whisper "It's my mom's birthday", well the quiet game was over at that point as 16 little kids started yelling "Happy Birthday Colton's mom!" It was very cute. We got to go into the cat room and my allgeries are still crazy today! I found about 10 dogs that I wanted to bring home with me, but didn't, and we made it back to the school in one piece.

Last night we had D's travel team tryouts. I found out that they practices are at 6 in the morning on fridays at this time, but they are trying to change them to a different time. There is no possible way I can get 3 kids up and ready before 6 in the morning. We would have to leave the house by 5:15 in order to get to the rink on time, which put us getting up about a quarter to 4 in the morning. That isn't going to happen, even D said "I won't be going if it's that damn early!" Then I have to send these same sleep deprived children to school all day after that, and they would never make it through the day. On one hand I wouldn't mind if he didn't play travel, because it just means more time I have to be at the ice rink and on the other I know he would love to do it so I hope they get the time fixed.

Birthdays

2006-09-26T07:59:00.000-07:00

Well every year I have one and there is no stopping it unless I all of a sudden kick the bucket, and I would much rather have a birthday than not have one. So today I am 35, and the older I get the more I notice that today I don't feel any older or wiser, but as the year progresses I will develop another ache here another pain there and that is when I think getting old sucks! As I look back on it all I think that I am glad to be just where I am at though. I have 3 beautiful boys, a husband who loves me, and life is pretty good. So this year I have decided to not be so depressed about my birthday, to not think about all the things I have not accomplished and focus on all the things that I have done, and all the things that mean the most to me that I might not have if I had done things differently. Today won't be a day to sit around sulking about life passing me by, because it isn't really passing me by as long as I participate, and I have.

I'm to sexy!

2006-09-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

It was last Tuesday, and the boys were getting ready for hockey. David was standing there in his underwear and a tee shirt when all of a sudden he breaks into "I'm to sexy for my shirt oh yeah to sexy." and starts swinging the shirt above his head, and shaking his butt. I had to leave the room I was laughing so hard tears were rolling down my cheeks. I have no idea where my oldest child learn the art of strip tease, if you could call it that he is as graceful as his mother, or why he decided to put on a show, but I know he is so modest that me and his brothers will be the only ones to ever witness his brazen display. He usually won't even dance with me if anyone else is over, we do that a lot turn on music and dance around the living room. David is easily embarrassed and dancing isn't cool. So to witness a moment of him being crazy was very funny.

Last night Colton was in bed and he wouldn't go to sleep. He kept talking and smacking his brothers, and he was just being a little shit. I told him to go sleep in my bed. He gets up walks into the hall and says to me "Listen here woman you don't even know who your messing with! Parents are weak!" Well I gave him my most stern look and told him he would find out who he was messing with if he didn't get in bed and go to sleep. He ran as fast as he could to my bed, and the minute he was out of sight I giggled.

Cam walked in from playing outside the other day and he looks at me and says "I don't even know why they make white crayons, paper is white duh!" he shrugged his shoulders and walked away again before I could even say a word about it.

I sent Colton and Cam to their room the other day because they were in trouble for fighting with each other and tattling to me. All of a sudden I hear "Let's get this party started" "Raise the roof Ohhh oohh" "Oh Yeah Oh Yeah". Then they both started singing at the top of their little lungs! Needless to say I walked in and told them to go play outside. I figure if they can get along that well being in trouble together they will be fine!

Blog blank

2006-09-19T08:03:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to make myself blog more, but by this point I think I have said just about everything I could say, or maybe not. Today I am drawing a blank as to what I can blog about.

I could tell you my feelings on the harsh treatment of terrorists by the CIA, and how I think there are a few Americans out there that have lost their freaking minds. These people want to see us dead and there are those worried about their rights, well they don't have any as far as I'm concerned.

or I could tell you that we have 2 nights of 3 on 3 hockey left and then only 2 weeks before the season starts again.

I thought about writing about that baby that got taken by force froms it's mother. Who does something like that?

I could discuss the French who don't think Iran is just as scary as Iraq.

Then there is my dog I could tell you how he is setting here next to me driving me nuts, because he wants some attention, and a 100 pound dog just doesn't fit in my lap very well which doesn't' make him very happy.

We could talk about insomina that has reared its head again in my life. I could tell you how I lay in bed for 3 hours hoping for sleep and just about the time I doze off the alarm seems to go off.

None of these topics seem to hold much interest for me, nothing lately seems to hold much interest for me. Steve said I have to much free time and I needed a job, but yet I can't think of even one day that was free time. I do laundry and dishes and feed kids. I drive kids to the places they need to be, and I fed dogs and guinea pigs. I vacuum floors and feed kids again when they get home. I really don't have as much free time as he would like to think I do. Well since I can't think of anything to talk about today I'm off to spend my free time doing more laundry.

Empty

2006-09-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

The quiet surrounds me, a stillness I am not use to. It gives me an uneasy filling in the pit of my stomach. I turn on some music to drowned out the nothing, but it doesn't help much. I wonder what I am going to do when they are grown and leave the nest for good. I could go out and get away from my solitude, but that would require leaving the phone, and I don't really like to be away from the phone, even though I have a cell and they all know the number. They expect me to be here waiting for them to come home so I wait and pass the time cleaning house or some other mundane task made for killing time. The waiting drives me insane, waiting to hear the door open and little voices yell "MOM", and every time they leave me I am one step closer to crazy. It's like being stuck in a dark closet with no way out, you can hear the outside world, but you can't be a part of it because you are locked in. People tell me this isn't normal, and I say screw your normal they are my babies and my life. They are the very reason my world turns. They are the reason I wake up everyday and remember to breath. The simple things you take for granted wouldn't happen for me if they were not in my life. There would be no reason for me to exist without them. I miss my babies!

Winter is fast approaching here. We have not been over 60 degrees all weekend and the Mt. is covered in a layer of beautiful white. This morning Colton said to me "I'm a little chilly momma and it feel a lot better than being hot!" Yep he's definitely my kid.

Beta

2006-09-15T08:12:00.000-07:00

I like to stay current and try out all the new and different things on this little box, so I have more Beta stuff on here than you can imagin. Yesterday my Yahoo asked me if I wanted to download the new version that is of course Beta. Well of course I did! I downloaded and it sent out requests to people who have been on my list for years, and to some people I have no clue who they are.

This morning for example some dude, that's on my list now, starts IMing me. I have no freaking clue who it is. I don't want to be rude so for the last few minutes I have engaged in polite conversation hoping that it will all come back to me and I will go oh that's so and so, but it hasn't yet. I don't know if he was someone that was actually on my list before or not, but I guess I will have to come right out and ask because I am very confused now, and bet he is thinking the same thing. I have like 7 people pending and I keep getting messages that people have added me that I don't even know?! I bet a lot of them are going "who's this jennschall chick?"

Guess that's why it's beta still, all the bugs are diffenently not worked out yet!

The nice thing is that I have actually IM'ed with some people who I hadn't in a long time.

"I'm getting the belt"

2006-09-13T22:57:00.000-07:00

I should just quit reading the newspaper, because it makes me aware of just how backwards society is. It was this article that got my blood fired up tonight.

I don't know the whole story, because god forbide they tell the whole story in our newpaper, but apparently he spanked his own child with a belt and left marks on his rear end. It doesn't say how old the child is or what the child did. Now if it was something stupid like yelling at his sister, well then dad was out of line, but I can think of a dictionary full of reason that do justify a good spanking. There is a really thick line between beating a child and whipping their little butts, and if I saw someone beating their child I would be the first one stepping up to show them what a beating feels like. I got the belt as a child, but not many time, because I wasn't a stupid kid. I learned the first time that there were consequences for my actions. All we are teaching the kids today is "your parents have no say in your life if you want to rob the 7-11 go ahead we'll still hold your mom and dad responsible, but there are not consequences to you."

I have 3 boys, and it is my job as their mother to make them into upstanding memebers of our society. It is my job to teach them right from wrong, and lets face it not every child is the same. I can give Colton a time out or take away the TV for an afternoon and he gets it, he knows he screwed up. David and Cam on the other hand I've grounded them, spanked them, threatened to send them to military school, given them lectures, washed their mouth out with soap, you name it and I've tried it with them. You know what works the very best, yep spanking, and all I have to do is say "knock it off or I'll spank your butt" because they are not stupid kids either. They know when mom threatens to spank them if they keep it up I will whip their butts. I have not had to use a belt on them yet, because my hand across a check stings pretty good.

They are telling kids in school that if your parents hit you to call 911. David told me that the last time I threatened to give him a spanking. I told him I'll dial the damn number if that's the route he wanted to take, because welfare will come and take him away so fast he won't even get to tell me goodbye. He was shocked that someone would take him away from me. His actual words were "but your a good mom, and I love you. would they really take me to foster care because you spanked me?" We had a long talk about abuse then. I told him he should never let anyone hurt him, not even me. I explained the difference between spanking and beatings and told him if he ever really felt I had abused him that he probably should call 911, but if I swatted him on the butt because he said the "f" word maybe he better think twice about calling the cops. He understands that he is the one that will suffer, because he has a pretty good home, with parents who are doing their very best to raise him. He understands that he has love, food, clothes, shelter, and most anything he wants, but he also understands that there are consequences for the bad things he does. All children need disaplain, and everyday the government is taking away parental rights and decisions. Then when these very same children are caught stealing the very same government blames the parents. I guess from now on everytime I need to spank my children I'll just call up the law makers, judges, social services, and all the people ruining this country and let them decide how to handle it, and then in 10 years when they are sending them to the pen for the 3rd time they will have no one to blame but themselves, but alas they don't want that kind of responsibilty so it is left up to me. I am accountable for how my children behave, and I demand that they are polite, respectful, well behaved children. I expect a lot from them, and they seldom fail me. I expect them to know right from wrong and no that if they choose to do wrong they will have to face the music. Granted they are just kids and they are going to screw up, and I do have to choose the battles I fight with them, but there are those things that warrent a butt beating.

So now I have ranted and raved enough about that. Everyone go over and read Wendy girl's news it is pretty exciting!

I've been tagged!

2006-09-08T10:54:00.000-07:00

I have not done a meme in so long I almost forgot what they were, but Angi tagged me for this one.

Word association

1. Flip- this is something the boys have learned at school, and not by the teacher oh no they learned this one from there friends. Used in a sentences by D when a car pulled out in front of use the other day. "Mom should I 'flip' him off."

2. Sand-what the boys and dogs keep tracking in the house from the back yard.

3. Vacuum- what I have not done in 2 days and desperately need to because of all the sand.

4. Southern-
Angi

5. Testosterone- way to much of it exists in my house! I should get a girl dog!

Angi only used one with with each of her answers, but I have to much to say I guess to limit myself to just one word! I don't think I have ever thought of just one word for another.

So Colton went for his well child check today... He is all good, but he had to have shots and that just sucks. I took him back to school, not my choice, and he ran off to his class like I didn't exist. I am fixing to go get him from school, because land before time is on and I don't want to watch it by myself. I miss him so much for the last 3 years it has been him and I and now I don't have that time with him. It really messes up my day. I was on the phone with mom a few minutes ago and she said "are you watching cartoons?" cause she could here them in the background. Our TV seldom leaves the cartoon channels even when no one is watching it cartoons are still on in the background.

Well I am off to find something to keep me busy for the next 3 and a half hours!

School Sucks!

2006-09-06T10:05:00.000-07:00

Well I didn't like school when I went and I diffenently don't like it now the boys go! I am so utterly alone all day it is driving me nuts. This morning I have already done 2 loads of laundry, cleaned the pig cage, gave the pigs a bath, they like to swim, and talked to my mom for an hour online! I still have 4 and a half hours before they get home.

Colton liked his first day of kindergarten, but he doesn't get to ask as many questions as he would like to and he doesn't get to tell as many stories either... That sucks for him, because he thinks he could teach the teacher a thing or two. He has an excellent teacher, Cam's teacher from last year and she knows him so she knows he will be much more difficult than his brother was, but he loves to learn and he is one of those kids who just gets it. He is not the shy quiet well behaved child my other 2 are. He isn't rude by any means he is just very open and has a lot to say, but he has manners.

Cam's first day being a 1st grader went well also. He really likes his teacher, and I like her too. She taught at science camp so Cam knew her, which I think helps if they know who they are going to be with all day. Cam is very quiet in class as well and she encourages him to be a part of everything. I like that about her, because Cam has a lot to contribute if you give him the chance.

David is another story. He likes his teacher, but school is just so much harder for him than it is for the other 2. He is already frustrated and just "wants to be like the normal kids." I told him he is a normal kid, but that doesn't help. He knows he struggles, and he wants to know why just as badly as I do. It breaks my heart sending him off to school, when I know he is going to come home so keyed up and anxious because he feel like he is less than the other kids. I wish I knew what to do for him. I have tried so many different things and nothing helps. He isn't dumb by any means, and he has more common sense than most grown ups I know. He just doesn't read fluently and with all the work they have done the last 2 years trying to improve that he has now gotten behind in other things. He is out of the classroom so much he misses the important stuff they do there, but he is still expected to know it.

I am thinking seriously about running for the school board next time around. I am also looking into better reading programs for the schools and I am going to start lobbying to get the improvements made in that area. I have looked into the reading recovery program they have, because I felt that it failed D miserably, and all the research I could find agrees with me that it is a temporary fix to the problems kids have with reading. I don't know what will come of any of it, but I'll at least keep trying.

There are 2 more weeks of 3 on 3 hockey, and then 2 weeks after that regular season starts. No one told me there would be so much running around when I had kids! It seems like we are always busy with something when school starts. Well I am going to go clean the bathroom this trying to stay busy while they are off at school is going to kill me!

Sadness and more sadness

2006-09-04T21:44:00.000-07:00

Steve Irwin, the croc hunter, has been a part of our lives since David started watching TV. All 3 of the boys love him, and they want to be just like him when they grow up, especially Colton. He has had a great influence on Colton, who won't let you kill a spider when you could just take it outside and don't even meantion killing a snake. So today when we heard about his death we all kind of took it hard. It was like we had lost a family member or close person friend. I think a lot of people felt that way. Him and Terri were in our homes all the time. He took us on every journey with him, from the birth of his children to the lose of his dog and his mother, and everything in between. They openly shared their lives with us, and their passion to save animals. He taught us that snakes are not bad, and it's better to just move them out of the back yard and take them down to the river instead of killing them. He inspired awe in every kind of animal, and he could make you believe that crocs were "little beauties". He had such a love for all the creatures of this earth, and he was willing to share that with his viewers. As I sit here and watch the old reruns of croc hunter I think about Terri, Bindy Sue, and little Bob. I am sad for them. I am sad that Bindy won't have anymore adventures with her dad, you could tell by watching them together they were kindered spirts. I am sad for Bob because he doesn't get to know Steve, and I am sad for Terri. If there were 2 people in the public eye that truly loved each other it was Steve and Terri Irwin. I told my Steve tonight that I was glad she had such a great support system. My heart goes out to them.

We had our own tragic accident here on wednesday. I am still wondering how the heck it happened. I told the boys they had to clean the pig cage out, well I should have known something awful was going to happen, because they jump right up and started in. Well they put the piggies under the table, where they usually stay. So David is in the cage wiping it down and they are almost done, he has a few more spots to wipe up and then we can put everything back in. Well he jumpped out of the cage and at the very moment he jumpped down Fireball ran out, and before either one of them knew what happened Cam is screaming "He stepped on him, David stepped on him" David picked him up ran him over to me "He's bleeding mama he's bleeding" he says to me in tears. I took the little body and saw the blood on his hind leg. "Oh shit he broke off his foot!" was my first thought, but as I explored a little more there was just one little spot of blood. It was looking better until I turned him around and saw the blood pouring out of his nose and mouth. I knew there was nothing I could do. I hate that helpless feeling. I couldn't do anything for Fireball, and I couldn't do anything for David who I now notice is covered in blood all over his little arms and legs. David is freaking out and then I said "he's dead" and the tears started flowing. I sent David in to get cleaned up and placed Fireball in a shoebox. He was the most social guinea pig we have, and I think that is why he decided to come out, but the timing was just perfectly wrong. David got cleaned up, and we took him and buried him in the back yard. Then David hugged Cam and told him a million times how sorry he was, Fireball was Cam's pig, and they both cried. David wouldn't hurt anything for the world and this has been extreamly hard on him. You meantion the name Fireball and both the boys cry, thankfully Cam doesn't blame David he watched the whole thing happen and knew there was nothing that could be done. I wish that David didn't blame himself so much that is hard for me especially since I am the one that told them get those pigs off the couch! I blame myself!

Containment

2006-08-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

I am happy to say that they have the fire contained now. There were 10 cabins destroyed, but no one was hurt thankfully! The smoke is still thick here, and my allgeries are going nuts!

Other things going on:

I applied for a job at the school, but they never called me back so I doubt I got that which sucks, but oh well.

The boys started 3 on 3 hockey, and that is twice a week so we have been doing that the last 2 weeks. They are having a great time, but I forgot what it is like trying to get 2 kids dressed in all that gear!

Steve's hand is not healing like it should. I don't know what they are going to do they may end up pinning the bones together if it doesn't start healing soon. I'm sure that it would heal a lot better if he would leave the little splints on his fingers, but he is a man and you can't tell them anything.

Really that is about all that has been going on. School starts the 5th so I have been going through clothes trying to find out who fits in what and am learning that none of my kids seem to be fitting in anything! If they don't quit growing I am going to put bricks on their heads! D man has grown about 3 inches in the last month and gained 8 pounds. He is 4'9" and weights 77 pounds now!

I am off to the laundry room again!

Casper Mountain has

2006-08-16T10:54:00.000-07:00

Casper Mountain has always been a place of fun and good times for me. Ever since I was a child we have picnicked there, skied there, biked and hiked, and camped there. The view from my back deck is one of the best in the world. I can see the green pines in the summer and the snow capped whiteness in the winter and she is always beautiful. The last time I was there the boys and I went up for a picnic at the falls. We were lucky enough to be the only ones enjoying her beauty that day. We ate lunch and the boys played in garden creek, the same way I use to when I was their size. Then we hiked up to the water fall itself. We sat down and watched a rock chuck playing around and listened to the wind in the trees and the birds singing to each other.

I have many stored memories of times I have been up there. The times when we would sneak in after dark as teenagers just to go sit by the falls and drink beer oh yeah we did that a few times. The time my sister, our friend and I went up in the winter and Jo fell through the snow and we had to dig her out, because she was up to her neck and we laughed all the way home. The picnics at Beartrap with my parents when dad would get board and say "lets go for a drive" we always went on the same drive up over the mountain, stop for a picnic at Beartrap, and down the back side over to coal mountain road and home. I loved the times we went up so my boyfriend at the time and my sister could ride their mountain bikes, and I would take a book and sit and read in the quiet that only a mountain can offer for hours while they explored. There was the time that my sister came home for a visit and we took the boys up to the falls for an afternoon, and all the trips to gravity hill and how fun we thought it was that the car can actually roll up hill, and the times I taken the boys there and how they are just as amazed at I was when I was their age.

I will never forget the time mom, me, and Jo went to look at the deer, they gather at the base of the mountain, and that 4 point buck came to the window looking for a hand out. I didn't have anything to feed them, but he could smell something so he stuck his head in the car. I leaned back as far as I could, knowing that if I pissed him off he could seriously hurt me, his tick infested head stretched out and he took a piece of candy that was in the console of mom's car. He pulled his head back out the window and stood there eating his candy, while the three of us laughed and laughed. Silly damn deer didn't have a clue that was bad for him, but not one of us was willing to tell him any different. I can't count how many times I have taken the boys up to watch the deer; there is something magical about garden creek deer, but only while they are at garden creek. They are almost tame there, but they move away from that spot and they are as wild as any other deer.

I could go on and on with my memories of the times I have spent enjoy my beautiful mountain, and now watching her burn and not being able to do anything about it rips my heart out. I know that Mother Nature is at work and she knows what she is doing, but that doesn't make my heart ache any less.

Mother Natures unleashed her furry!

2006-08-15T12:03:00.000-07:00

I went out on the back deck and watched as smoke plumed above the mountain. It started off as a small cloud, and quickly progressed to several large clouds of smoke. I looked on hoping it would be contained to the back side of the mountain. Thinking surly they will get it under contol, but knowing there was no way to contain the beast. I would come in the house and do a few things and then go back out and check on my beautiful mountain. As night approached you could see the orange glow of flames creating an errie light across the night sky, but so far so good not one flame leaped to the front, until about one this morning. I was standing out of the deck and the flashing light caught my eye, and I knew the fire had creasted the top of the mountian. I looked throught the binoculars and saw the flames licking the bottoms of trees, and my heart sank. I went to bed, only to wake up to the thick smell of smoke and burning pines. I went again to my back deck and watched as fire poured down the side of the mountain like hot lava, stopping every once in away to dance in the tops of trees. A sadness filled my heart. My beautiful mountain that holds so many joyous memories, the mountain that we all take for granted for so many years, the mountain that I love is burning down. My first thought was for all the critter living up there, and then all the people who have chosen to make their homes there. They have evacuated much of the area and are asking people less than a mile away from me to leave their homes. I know mother nature really knows what she is doing, and the burn will create new growth, but it's sad to watch her go up.

Salad

2006-08-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

The guinea pigs are out of veggies. They are a real pain in the butt and require as much or more attention as the dogs do. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to let the boys have them. The boys have been pretty good about keeping up with their care though, so it's hard to complain about them to much.

Jake had a really sever hypo, low blood sugar, the other night. I was outside talking to my neighbor and Steve yelled from the window "Jakes having a heart attack." I knew what it was, and I ran as fast as a fat girl can run, grabbed the syurp and started dripping it onto his tongue. It took a couple minutes and he was sitting up shaking it off again. I was so glad we were home or we would have come home to a dead dog! I don't know why his sugar went so low. Him and I had been sitting on the couch together like we always do, and I got up to go see what the boys were doing. He was fine when I left him, he wasn't showing any signs of hypo at all. Usually he starts getting a little goofy and I know he is low and take care of it before it gets worse. This is the first time he has every gone so low it didn't even register on the blood meter. I had only been outside about 10 minutes. He is getting old now and it scares me, because I am not ready to lose another dog right now.

Today is the last day of science camp for the boys. They have had a really good time, even if they didn't like getting up early. I am starting to think that if school started at about 10 in the morning they would all do better. No one of them is what you would call a morning person, but then neither is their mother!

3 on 3 hockey starts the 15th and they are really looking forward to that, but I have to figure out how I am going to get them to hockey and Colton to soccer on the same nights at the same time. I have to help Cam get dressed and I have to tighten both their skates, but I can't just drop off a 5 year old and leave him at the soccer field. The boys alone on the ice wouldn't be so bad, because I know everyone at the ice rink and really there is no way for anyone to steal them off the ice, but the soccer fields are all open and anyone could come along and take chunk. The bad thing is soccer starts 15 minutes before hockey!

Candies dandy, but liquor's quicker!

2006-08-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am sure that everyone has heard about Mel Gibson's drunken tirade by now. I laugh and shake my head, and thank the stars that my words don't mean anything to anyone other than me. I know that a lot of people would not like what I have to say if I were in the public eye, but that is beside the point. For those of you that don't pay attention Gibson got arrested on a DUI and started making anti jewish statements about the Jewish being responsible for all the wars in the world. He was drunk, and drunk people often say stupid things. To blame the Jews for all the wars in the world is just crazy and not a very well thought out statement, only an idiot or a drunk would make such a comment. I have seen Mel on several different talk shows promoting his movies and such and he has struck me as an intelligent person, a person that is smart enough to know that those kind of comments can ruin an acting career. I don't have an acting career, nor do I want one so I can say anything I want and it will not ruin me.

Let's turn his statement around just a little and say "Religion is responsible for most of the wars the world has seen." That would be a much truer statement in my view. I don't think one religion is anymore or less responsible for war, they have all had their fair share of starting wars in the name of their god or gods. Perhaps the wars didn't start as a religious war, but some smart person who knew people would fight for their religion turned it around to make them feel that is what they were fighting for. People like Hitler, who hated his father, a Jew, who abandoned him and his mother, turned that hatred around on all Jews. He was a master at making the people under his rule believe that the Jews were evil and making his followers believe that they were fighting more to preserve their own religious beliefs and ways of life. Bin Ladden works on the same principles he manipulates people into believing that they are killing the infidels in the name of religion. In both cases the people who are fighting and dyeing never really know the true reasons for their leaders hated of a certain race or country. They are blinded by their beliefs. People are like cows on a trail, one cow starts down the trail and other just seem to fall in behind them, not knowing where the leader is taking them or why and not smart enough on their own to question why they are walking away from the green grass towards a dirt field, and no matter how thirsty or hungry they get they still stay on the trail. So to say one specific religion is responsible for all the wars is ridicules, but who can really argue with the fact that religions have played a major part in many wars.

Now that I went off in a total different direction I shall get back to the topic at hand. The simple fact that we, as in the people of the world, put more stock in what some actor says than what our own children have to say to us is a sad truth. We have turned entertainers, actors, musicians, sports figures, into something they are not, they are worshiped like hero's. We follow their lives, and want to know everything about them, what they eat for breakfast, who they are sleeping with, what their kids look like. It is insane considering they are just people, they are no better or worse than any one of us average people, they just make more money. They were all born naked and will die one day just like the rest of us. The true hero's in our world are often overlooked, because we are to busy worrying about what Mel Gibson said or how much weight Oprah has lost or gained. I remember a few months ago when we were at the store and D man saw some of our national guardsmen, he says to me "Those guys are hero's mom!" I hope he always knows who the true hero's are and doesn't put to much faith in what some actor has to say. I guess that all ties into the religious views as well. I hope that they all grow up to use their own minds to know what is right and I hope they always question things, and choose to get off the trial if it is leading them in the wrong direction.

Nothing of importance

2006-08-03T08:57:00.000-07:00

Over the past week we have been assulted by missionaries of every demonition trying to offer us a little salvation. I have politely told them I am not interested in what they have to say, and I'm not. If I want to talk religion there are several people I feel are more qualified on the subject than some stranger trying to convert me. Let's face it these people are not up for a debate on faith or my lack of it. They simply want to recute me into their folds, and honestly that is not going to happen. My own grandparents have not been able to make a believer out of me, so really some wacky people knocking at my door have little hope. Now I have nothing against religion. I think more people need the morals and values that religion teachs, but I don't think going door to door pedaling your views is the way to make it happen. I am a stong believer in my views are my own and yours are yours. I respect the fact that other people have different beliefs than I do, and I expect people to do the same.

I have been Colton's sole sorce of entertainment this past week. His brother's are at science camp. Colton was to young to go to the camp. Then after camp 3 on 3 hockey and Soccer for Colton starts. He was going to play hockey, but changed his mind, which is good really for me and cheaper too! I am not ready to start running here and there again and trying to be in more than one place at one time. I am not ready for summer to be over either and it is quickly winding to a close. I hate the boys having to be in school all day, and this year all 3 of them will be going all day long. I am going to find a part time job to keep myself busy or I will go insane.

The dog, the tooth, and other stuff

2006-07-27T12:12:00.000-07:00

David turned 8 last Sat. It just doesn't seem like we have had him for 8 years already. Time just go by so fast the older I get. He had a great birthday, his granny came and took him to Red Lobster, his favorite place. Then he spend his birthday money that he got from Aunt Jo, Aunt P, and his great grandparents on a new pair of heely's shoes... he is like a little pro on them now. He got hockey gear that he needed and the star wars movies from us and granny got him new skates and hockey breezers. He finally lost his first tooth on tuesday.

It was lose and he kept nagging me to pull it, but he would chicken out the minute I got close enough to touch it. I was joking and I said well tie a string to it and Cam's bike and have Cam ride off really fast... they did and now he is minus one baby tooth.

Monday there was a dog wondering around the neighborhood. It was limping very badly and it got closer to D and I as we were standing in the yard. D all of a sudden says "What is that smell." and then it hit me. It was the smell of death, if you have ever been around something that is about to die or has just died you know that smell. It was awful and I knew he was in bad shape. He lives up the street and it was almost 5:30 so I am sure he was trying to make it home... I was very scared one of the kids was going to try to help it and end up getting bite. The nicest dogs in the world will often bite when they are scared and in a lot of pain, so I made all the kids in the neighborhood go to the back yard. When I went back out front to help him he was gone already. I hope he made it home and they took care of him.

Sunday we went to the air show it was part of D's birthday. We got to see the Thunderbirds, they put on an amazing show. D and Cam now want to join the air force and become pilots. I told them they better start getting the grades now! I wouldn't really mind if they went to the Air Force Academy it isn't that far away from me! Colton chated with everyone about everything. The Navy seals had a booth set up and they had their little dune buggy out.

Colton goes up to one of the kids and says "So how fast does it go?" "About 80 miles an hour." the kids replys. "Well how the hell does it fly?" Colton says. Which made perfect sense we were at an air show! Then we walked through the coast guards Hercules and Colton found the coast guard kids and says "So you know how to fly this baby?" "Yep I do" kid says. "Well let get her up in the air then" Colton says. There is never a dull moment when you take that one out in public!

Steve's fingers are doing much better, but if he doesn't get off light duty soon and start to do real work again he is going to drive me nuts. He isn't very good at doing nothing...

Wow an amazing thing!

2006-07-25T07:35:00.000-07:00

I was clicking through my links this morning, and popped over to one I don't seem to get to as often I would like, This we will defend. Sgt. Hook is an awesome writer, and I was playing a little caught up on his posts, when I came across the link for 2996. This is an amazing effort that everyone should be promoting.

The idea is to get 2996 bloggers to post a tribute to a life lost on 911. So far he has 995, so there are still many names left. I am a little nervose about taking on such a great challenge. I don't know if I could do this project justice, but I am going to give it a shot. Please pass the word around even if you don't feel you can write a tribute at least pass the infor on to someone who might!

Take mine I'm not using them anymore!

2006-07-21T01:22:00.000-07:00

If you have read for awhile then you know that I voted for Bush, and you also know why, but for anyone who just stumbled here accident's looking for naked jenn cam, which I seem to get a lot of hits from, I'll explain that decision. I would never vote for a traitor and I would not waste my vote so I was stuck voting for Bush. It was that simple really, but a lot more complex too.

I knew this 4 years would make me shake my head in disbelief, and make me wonder if maybe I should move to Canada. I knew that my life views were very different than the current administrations. For example I have no religious views. I think abortion is my choice not my governments or my neighbors choice in fact I don't even think it's anyone else's business.

So it's not really a big shocker that I support stem cell research. I think the possibilities could be great. I mean eventually they may figure out how to grow kidney's or hearts or liver and thousands of children on the transplant list facing death could go on to lead healthy, happy lives. Cures for cancer, MS, MD and millions of other things could be found. I wasn't really shocked that Bush vetoed the bill, but I was hopeful that he wouldn't. I would gladly donate my eggs for research, honestly I'm done with them. I don't really see it as a moral dilemma, maybe it's because I don't have any religious convictions, or perhaps I don't see embryo's in a Petri dish as babies, or maybe it's just the fact that I look at all the babies it could save and I think about my babies and if anything was wrong with them I would want every option under the sun explored in order to find a cure. I would give up my own life for theirs if that is what it took. I think it is my respect for life that really makes me in favor of stem cell research, and regret that as a nation we are stepping backwards.

Hotter than the core of the earth!

2006-07-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

I am not one of those warm weather people. If I have the choice of fun in the sun or sitting under an air conditioner I will always choose the A/C. If I liked to be sweaty and sticky I'd excersize more, but I think it's pretty obivious that I don't enjoy being sweaty or sticky or excersizing for that matter. The last week has been miserable hot, the kind of hot that melts your brain just looking out the window. The downside to the hot is that this last week was fair and rodeo week. Well you know I love the rodeo, but I kept putting it off until last night, the last night. All week long it's been 100, 102 right in that range. Hopeful that it would cool off before long I waited and put it off, after promising the boys we would go. So there it was Sat. the final night and the tempture hovered around 112 degrees. I know that 12 degrees doesn't seem that much worse than 100, but it is. I have no other choice, I have promised these babies that I would take them. I try really hard never to break promises. Most of the time I tell them "we see" or "I'll do my best."

So we loaded them up and took them. Thankfully the fair buildings are all air conditioned. We wondered around in them until the rodeo started. Then we went over got some seats and proceeded to sweat until we all looked like we had been running through the sprinklers. I didn't see much of the rodeo between unsticking my clothes from my body, wiping my steamed up glasses off, and attempting to fan the air around me for some kind of cool breeze. I just kept thinking any time now this will be over! I made it though though and am alive today.

I am looking at moving somewhere cooler, like possibly sibera...

My heart stopped!

2006-07-11T22:08:00.000-07:00

"Is this Steve's wife?"
"Yes it is."
"This is Bob from husbands company. Have you talked to Steve this afternoon?"
My heart stopped, "No, I have not."
"Well there was an accident at work... He's ok, but he is in the ER in Thermopolis. He injuried his hand."

Sometimes I forget that I really do love him. Sometimes I forget just how good he is to me. Sometimes I forget just how much he loves our boys. A lot of times I get mad because he drinks to much, and a lot of times I get mad because he does stupid man things. However, at that moment when the guy called to tell me there had been an accident I could hardly breath. My mind raced with thoughts of Steve laying there fighting for his life, and I was 230 miles away. I joke with Steve all the time that his life insurance is doubled if it happens at work, but in the real world I don't want anything to happen to him. I really do want to grow old with him. There are times that I need some space away from him, and there are times that I get so mad at him I could beat him to death, but if anything is going to happen to him I want it to be by my own hands damn it!

I was very relived when he told me it was only his hand. Steve got his hand smashed under a motor that runs the pumps. They weigh about 1500 lbs. I figured that he was going to come home minus a finger or two, but he got really freaking lucky. He only broke 2 fingers, and they had to sew one back on. It hurts like hell, but he is going to be right back to work in a week, more than likely on light duty cause I don't know how he is going to do a whole lot without the 2 middle fingers on his right hand. Why is it alway the hand you use most? He is all splinted up and the ER Doc said it won't come off for at least 2 weeks, maybe longer. For now I am trying my best to take care of him, but he is a crappy patient! If he would just shut up and do what I say we would do alright, but no he thinks he is a grow up or something! It's much easier taking care of injured children at least they do what I tell them to.

A glimpse of life without kids.

2006-07-07T23:34:00.000-07:00

There is an awful silence in my house. A silence that won't go away no matter how much how loudly I turn the sound on the TV up or crank the music. I feel lost and alone without the boys. They are the reason I breath everyday, and since they have been gone it had been horrible. I have seen the future and it isn't to pretty either.

The kids are gone and Steve and I are alone, and yet I am feeling more empty then when he is off on a job. He mowed the yard and I cooked dinner. I ate dinner and he fixed the sprinkler head that was bad. I watched TV he sat outside on the back deck. He came in and ate dinner and watched Monk with me. He went to bed, and I am watching Psych. This is how it will be when our kids get older and move out on their own. We just seem to have less and less in common everyday. The boys are what binds us together and without them we are nothing, we have nothing. Maybe it is just because I miss the kids and I feel lost without them. I don't really know how to be without them. For the last 8 years that what I have done, cattier to my children. I don't do anything without them, and now I feel like just sitting in the house waiting for them to call me. Longing to here their little voices say they love me, now don't get me wrong I love the fact that they want to spend time with my mom and dad and vice versa. They all love each other a great deal, and I know they are being well taken care of. There isn't anyone in the world I would let them go with other than my mom and dad.

So anyway mom and dad are bringing the boys home Sunday and we are all going to go boating at the lake. Then David wants to go back to their house, but he may change his mind once I tell him we are going to the rodeo Tuesday night. Yes it is once again fair and rodeo season here. The boys all love going to watch the rodeo especially the bull riding. David is determined that in the winter he will be a pro hockey player and in the summer he will be a pro bull rider. I am determined that he will never get that close to a bull. I've been to enough rodeos in my day to know that it is way to dangerous for one of my boys. I don't care if it's calf roping or bull riding I really hope they outgrow their cowboy dreams.

Tomorrow is Steve's 43rd birthday, damn he is getting old. He will be 56 when Colton graduates from high school. I will only be 47, that is young enough to play with any grandbabies I might get. Steve will be to old to enjoy any grandkids!

Well that is my pathetic life in a nutshell.

Fireworks

2006-07-05T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well last night we loaded up the family and went and listened to the bands at the event center and got a good spot to watch the fireworks. The only band we heard was not that good... perhaps it's just that I am not into the kind of music they were playing or maybe it was because every song the sang sounded like they ripped the music off from Jimi Hendrix songs and just changed the lyrics. Colton entertained the crowds with his awesome dance moves, he looked just like he was in the middle of the mosh pit doing his thing. He cracks me up that kid. We were sitting by some bushes and a tiny baby rabbit decided that we were pretty safe and he came out and nibbled some grass just inches away from us. It was all the boys could do to hold themselves back. Colton says "I just want to love it up."

After about 3 Hendrix songs with different lyrics we had had enough, so we start making our way back to the truck. It's getting dark and the parking lot was very busy so I said "give me your hand so I know where your at." more to Colton than the other 2. David looks and me and says "I'd rather step in horse shit than hold your hand!" It was on. I grabbed him up and started kissing his cheeks and telling him that I loved him. He ran all the back to the truck. A little while later he asked me if he hurt my feelings and of course I played it up and said yes. He jumped into my lap and said he was just kidding.

The boys are all off to spend some time with their grandparents tomorrow.

Kids are funny

2006-06-27T21:44:00.000-07:00

The other day I was sitting in the living room flicking channels when Colton and his little girlfriend from up the street, who's also 5, came in. They stopped and talked to me for a minute, and as they were getting ready to leave she looked at the TV. I don't know what the show even was I stopped mid click when they came in to talk to them, but there was this teenage couple and he leaned in and kissed the girl.

"OH GROSS" little girl up the street says.

I am thinking she is grossed out because they are kissing and then...

"He has glasses! She kissed a boy with glasses."

I am not to sure I want Colton to be playing with her anymore!

I want to live!

2006-06-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

That is the sickest I have ever been in my entire life! I went back to the dr. today and he said I need another round of antibodies, but I am on the mend. He had all the paperwork ready to admit me to the hospital today to take my tonsils out when I went in, but they are returning to there normal size now. My white cell count was still much higher than normal, but it has come down a lot. Thankfully I am not going to die, however last week I really didn't care if I lived or not. I just had a really bad strep infection that went into all the glands.

My granny is feeling much better, and they are getting her all fixed and better for the time being. It will be just a wait and see game, but she is getting up on her own now and walking. The confussion isn't happening as much now either. I am so thankful and hope that everything they are doing for her will fix her up.

The boys are already board and we are not even into summer break yet. I don't know what I will do with them all summer.

Steve goes back to work tomorrow, some vacation he had.

The dogs both still need a bath, they are filthy from camping.

Being sick really sucks!

I'm stable

2006-06-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

I don't think I have ever been as sick as I have this week in my entire life. I am able to sit here now without falling out of the chair. Yesterday I couldn't even do that. So after 3 trips to the dr. and 3 different antibodies we finally got some that work! But wait lets go back to the beginning. Steve is on vacation this week, which was actually a good thing for the boys, so monday we are all packed up and ready for a camping trip. We go up the mountain set up camp, and have a lovely evening of roasting marshmallows and making smores. Finally we get 5 people and 2 big dogs settle into a tent that is barely big enough for just the 5 people and I lay there wishing I hadn't closed up the windows because it is sauna hot in there. I drifted off several time only to be awakened again but the shifting of a dog either across my leg or the one fighting for more matteress, then finally blessed sunrise! There is nothing like sunrise when your camping, because really you can't get up before the sun... you can see shit anyway. I got up a little sore and a whole lot stiff, and both dogs followed me out of that little sauna. Poor little Jakie dog was so stoved up he could hardly move. So I made my coffee as every made their way out of the tent. I told Steve that Jake needed to go home, because really I could have made it another night..., but thankfully Jake couldn't. I wouldn't know what a right choice that was until I got home. Steve and the boys all agreed that camping one night was all they wanted to do as well! We loaded up and came home. David drove for about 3 miles and he did a great job! I had been promising him I would take him out and work on his driving for the last 3 months. So anyway the boys stop to go shoot their guns, and I just decide to come home, because Buddy dogs would have pissed all over himself if he has seen the guns.

So I get home take my shower check myself for ticks, and start unloading the van. By the time the boys get home, which was a little over an hours later, I am feeling over tired and everything hurts. I am tough though so I make dinner eat about a fourth of mine and tell Steve I think I am getting sick, because by now I have a sore throat and am running a fever. Well as the night progressed my 2 already large tonsils merged into on huge tonsil making it impossible for me to breath or swallow or talk. I then went to bed and slept from 8 o'clock until the next morning at like 11. Steve had gotten me a dr. appointment and I went I don't remember much of the rest of the week really. I laid in bed for most of it. All I know is that friday Steve woke me up and said he was taking me back to the dr. Which was fine with me especially if they planed on giving me a leathial injection. So that is where I left you yesterday with the whole mono thing. About 15 minutes after I wrote that the dr. called back and said my mono test was negitive, but they did a CBC and it was off the charts so I needed to take these pills and the prednisone he had already given me. Steve went to pick up the pills later and they thought he was going to have to drive to my moms house to have it filled. No one in town had them except walmart thankfully, but the guy at walgreens called everyone on the list and my dr. twice to make sure it was this pill I had to have. So anyway I am on my way to recovery now. I am like a normal really sick person today. I have the sore throat, but I can breath and swallow, the achy body, the fever, and just plan ass tiredness. The only good thing to come of this was between wed. and friday I lost 8 lbs... I am sure it's up to about 12 now as I have only eatten about half a cup of soup. I go back to the dr. on tuesday to retest my blood and check me over. Wow that took forever to write. I am going back to lay down now. Goodnight.

Sorry

2006-06-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

I'm sick sick sick... can everyone say MONO... this is twice now and I guess you can keep getting it. I'm back in bed I feel like shit.

Things are looking up

2006-06-11T12:52:00.000-07:00

My granny has been really sick for a while now, and they don't really know what is wrong. Right now they are treating her for spurs in her neck at the c4 and c5 levels. They think that is the cause of the pain, weakness and confusion she has been experiencing. They have been through a range of different things it could possibly be the worse being lewys body a rapid advancing form of alzhimers. So far the treatment for her neck seems to be working. Hopefully things will keep improving. I am very close with my granny she has been a very important part of my life. I don't know what we would all do without her in our lives. I know that she won't live forever and I know that a lot of people in their 30's don't have grandparents still around so I have been very blessed to have mine as long as I have, but that doesn't mean I want to let her go anytime soon. We are just taking it one day at a time that is all we can do. Thanks for all the kind comments and the wonderful emails you guys, you know who you are, are the best and I love you!

Frustrated

2006-06-08T21:04:00.000-07:00

I am frustrated and pissed off and heartbroken and life is so unfair on all fronts. I am pissed off because I married someone so selfish and uncaring and hurtful. I am frustrated because doctors have no answers and no cures. I am heartbroken because there is nothing I can do to help. There is never enough time with the ones you love and it isn't fair and I don't know if I should go or stay home and wait for news. I don't want to add unnecessary stress by going. I regret not having a big fight with Steve at Christmas when I wanted to go and chose to shut up and avoid a fight. I reget that I turned off my aol and yahoo messager when Steve was home to avoid a fight about how much time I spend online. I hate that I didn't go up there more. I hate that I am not close enough to be there everyday. I wish I could have 10 more years, just 10 that isn't very long 10 years is so short please just 10 more good years with her.

SPOILED

2006-06-06T12:25:00.000-07:00

Need proof?

Well here it is.

Lazy summer days

2006-06-03T08:41:00.000-07:00

There are only 3 hours of school left for the boys. I am so excited for the summer to be here. I miss them when they are at school all day. Cam missed friday because he was sick with the same crap David had, but we got him on antibodic and he is feeling much better today.

David and I sat down and had a really long talk about him staying in second grade next year. I was very impressed by him. He talked to me like he was a lot older than 7. I asked him what he thought about the whole idea. He could have moved on to 3rd grade, but I worry so much about him getting farther behind the older he gets. He told me that he wants to go to college and he doesn't want to end up working at McDonalds because he couldn't make it through school. He is very aware of how much he struggles, and very aware that if he wants to do something with his life he has to go to college. I told him that staying in 2nd grade again would be an oppurtunity for him to get ahead, he could use it to master the skills he is struggling with. We talked about it for about 2 hours or more. We talked about his friends moving on and how that kind of hurt his feeling, and he wondered if they would make fun of him. I told him that they might kids are mean like that, and he said they sometimes make fun of him because he has such a hard time reading. I didn't know that, because he never told me. We finished our talk and I told him to think about it and a few hours later he came and said he wanted to stay in 2nd grade. The funny thing about it was that he was so relaxed about the idea, like a weight had been lifed from him. I think it is very important for him to make these decisions on his own. I lay them out on the table and I guide him, but in the end the decision should be his. So he is all set to go back into the same class he was in this year. I am so happy with his decision, and I feel better that I didn't make it for him. I requested the same teachers he had this year, because they were very good. Not one time did I feel uninformed at what was going on with him. They called me, they made time for me anytime I went in and it was just really good to have them.

Cameron is going to first grade and I would like to keep him in Kindergarten, not because he is struggling with anything, just because I am not ready for him to grow up yet! Cam is doing well he left kindergarten reading at level 6, and knows everything he needs to know to go on to first grade. Colton is moving up to kindergarten. Colton is ready to move on. He talked to the kindergarten teacher on friday when we went in and he was very excited and told her that she would have to teach him next year and he was ready to learn.

fun and sun

2006-06-01T08:49:00.000-07:00

I staggered out of bed to find all of the boys up watching TV, and I look at the clock, because the alarm had not gone off yet. I questioned why I was even out of bed until I saw the numbers staring back at me 8:45. What the hell! The boys had track day and we had 5 minutes to get me and 3 boys ready to roll. I ran to the bedroom started grabbing clothes not caring if they even fit much less matched, I threw them at the boys, wet my hair down brushed my teeth yelled at the boys to get their shoes on, and threw water bottles into the cooler. We ran out the door and halled ass to the school.

David's class was just loading on the buses so I told him to run and catch them, and I told Cam to stay in the van with Colton. I ran to the office told them David was on the bus and I would take Cam with me and meet his class at the high school where we always have our track day. I got back in the van and speed to the mini mart grabbed some sandwiches, because I was suppose to make us all lunches and didn't have time. We sped out of the parking lot and raced to the field. I was thinking we were going to be very late, and we pulled up right behind the buses the kids hadn't even unloaded yet. Damn I'm good!

We had a great track day, and we should have taken first in who can get a family of 4 ready in less than 5 minutes!

The joy's of parenthood

2006-05-30T09:06:00.000-07:00

There are positive and negitive things about having a husband who works out of town a lot. The best thing about it is we tend to appresiate the time we do see each other more. We as in the entire family. The boys don't take Steve for granted nearly as much as they do me, but I understand that. I am the constant in their lives. That would be where the negitive starts. I am feeling a great deal of presure to be all things to these boys, and there is one of me and 3 of them. With Steve being gone so much I am like a single mother a lot of the time.

Today for instance David is very sick, we have a Dr. appt at 1:15, and I am pretty sure he has scarlet fever. For anyone who doesn't know that is just strep with a rash. When D man gets sick he runs a really high fever that is hard to break, so there was no way I could send him to school. Well today is the day Cam's class gets to go to old town, which is a putt putt golf video game kind of place. Their class won the trip for collecting the most box tops for education, and I told him a long time ago that I would go with him.

Well I don't get to go with my Cambot, because D man is sick. Cam was very understanding, but as I watched him walk across the school yard I could see how sad he was and it broke my heart. He turned and waved and gave me a big smile, but his steps were slow and he hung his head as he walked off. It breaks my heart that I can't be in more than one place, and I know that if Steve had a job that didn't require him to be gone he could have stayed home with David for part of the day so I could fulfill my promise to Cam.

I know that Cam won't hold it against me, but that doesn't help the guilt I feel. I would be feeling the same guilt however if Steve was home and I did go with Cam and left a sick baby at home. Tomorrow is track day, and I hope that the antibodies kick in and David is feeling good enough to go.

Memorial Day

2006-05-29T13:06:00.000-07:00

We were shopping yesterday and as usual on the weekend before Memorial day the Vet's were out distrubing those paper poppy flowers. The boys wanted to know what they meant. I had heard the history of the poppy before, but it slipped my memory at the time. I told them I couldn't really remember what the poppies stood for, but when we got home I would look it up for them and here is the link that best described it.

http://www.usmemorialday.org/backgrnd.html#1

In Flanders FieldsJohn McCrae, 1915.
In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the Dead.
Short days agoWe lived,
felt dawn,
saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved,
and now we lieIn Flanders fields.
Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep,
though poppies growIn Flanders fields.

The Joy Never Ends

2006-05-24T22:01:00.000-07:00

Steve and I had our anniversary on Monday. He was out of town working, and I was here with the boys. To me our anniversary is nothing special, it's just another day. I was amazed that we have been married for 8 years. I never thought I would get married, much less be married for this long, but that was about all I thought about it. We really don't celebrate the day we got married; there isn't really any sense in it. We got married because I was 7 months pregnant, and everyone thought we should get married. I would have been perfectly fine just living together, and I really don't know what made me go through with it. I didn't want my child to go through life without a family that had a lot to do with it. I really can't say love played a big part in my decision to get married. I mean we had been together for a year can you really love someone after that short of time, well maybe some people can, but I don't think so honestly.

My sister today told me she was kind of sad because I didn't even invite her or tell her I was getting married. I think she was a little shocked when I told here that I didn't invite anyone. I didn't, we had a justice of the peace wedding, and my parents didn't even get invited. I didn't want to make a big deal out of it. Steve on the other hand invited the freaking world and I was a little upset by that. We had agreed it would be simple and quiet and the next thing I know his mom was planning a reception for us and half the town was showing up for our vows. I would have been perfectly fine going to the court house saying I do and coming home without anyone knowing about it until after the fact. I know that we wouldn't have gotten married if I hadn't been pregnant, or at least I wouldn't have. Steve says he got married because he loved me, and maybe that's true and maybe it's not. The whys and how of the situation really don't matter.

The things that matter are after the fact. We did get married, we did have 3 kids together, and we do have to try every day to make this marriage work, and marriage is a lot of work. I think too many people go into a marriage thinking that it will always be as easy as those first few years or months in some cases. You know, the sex is awesome; you get along great, you over look each other faults. Then one day you take a real look at the person you have vowed to spend the rest of your life with and you think "OH SHIT". It's a struggle to not kill Steve some days, and I am sure he feels the same way about me. I have learned that I have to choose the battles we have with care, because the little stuff is what will ruin our marriage. The way I look at it is we have to stay married, and we have to get along until these boys are grown and leave the nest. It is my responsibility to my children to provide them with the best home life possible, and that includes their father.

I am not saying that I am miserable living with Steve. Sure we have our differences anyone who tells you they get along all the time will tell you other lies as well, but for the most part we get along. I love him and he loves me, we tolerate each others faults now instead of over looking them. We have had to learn how to do that. We ignore the small things that piss us off now instead of fighting about them. We work out the big stuff that does matter, and mostly he lets me be in charge. I think if we have to start celebrating the fact that we made it another year is when we are doomed to fail. "Hey honey I actually didn't pack up my stuff and leave you this year..." So yeah our anniversary is just another day to me.

Things I've learned to make a marriage work:

Nod your head and smile like your listening when he is talking, even if you don't have a clue what he just said.

Tell him you love him a lot. Men like to feel loved.

Walk away when you want to hit him in the head with a shoe. It won't make you feel as good as hitting him in the head with a shoe, but he won't get all pissed off.

Don't say "I'll just take the kids and leave then." For some reason Steve still holds that one against me.

Sex Toys. If I have to explain that one you have not been married long enough.

Pretend he is right every once in awhile, but make sure you let the kids know later that you were just pretending.

Go to bed mad, if you don't no one will get any sleep at all, and it's to damn hard to fight when your lacking sleep!

Let him pout and don't worry about it, he'll either get over it or he won't and that is all on him.

Use your children as a go between. "David, go in there and tell your father..." It will save you from telling him what you really are thinking about that stupid idea he had.

Hold grudges. If you don't then you will have to spend a lot more time going to family functions. "Yeah you remember when you threw the Christmas tree down the stairs… We are not going anywhere this Christmas if anyone wants to see us they can come here."

Beetles suck

2006-05-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

I was getting the boys ready for bed when I notice that we are out of milk. It seems it's always late at night when I notice things like that. So I tell the boys to quickly put their clothes back on so we can run up to the store and get some milk really fast. We go, we get back, and I am carry a sack of donuts and the milk. I approach the front door, that is when I see them, 4 or 5 huge red beetles and they fly. I can take snakes, rats, spiders, but those damn beetles send me into a full blow panic attack.

I run to the side walk, almost in tears. David yells "throw me your shoe mom" and I do. He is swinging that shoe right and left smacking them and crunching them against the cement. I am screaming from the sidewalk "kill them David kill them". I am surprised that every neighbor wasn't running out to see what the crazy woman was yelling about. I see the last one fly off and I scream "open the door baby open the damn door!" David flings the door open and I sprint inside. My heart was thumping, cold sweat was pouring off me, and I was close to tears as I slammed the door behind me. David hugged me and told me it was all going to be ok.

Those creepy damn beetles are going to be the death of me I'm sure of it. Thankfully I had a child to save me. The next day he went out front and swept them all off the steps so I could take them to school and wouldn't have to look at them. What a kid he is and I am damn lucky he loves me enough to save me. The other 2 just walked in the door like nothing was happening. If David hadn't of saved me I would have had to spend the night in the van.

My side hurts!

2006-05-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

I love my internet friends they are some of the funniest people I have ever know. Angi as most of you know is one funny lady, but yesterday she about killed me she had me laughing so hard, and she didn't even mean to!

I left a comment on her blog, we were talking about learning disabilities, or more the lack of D getting any help for his reading disabilities that all the testing the school has done can't find... anyway that is another post. So Angi sends me this email:

Jenn, have they done a Woodcock Johnson test on him?

I about fell out of my chair. Who in the world came up with the WOOD COCK JOHNSON test? My first thought was "Well Angi I already know he has one of those, he was born with it." heeheeeheee. It's a real test Angi made me google it! I just don't know if I can ask for it without giggling, "Yeah I would like to get David a Woodcock Johnson please." heeheee I giggle like I'm a teenager again just typing it. Heeehee.

Tired

2006-05-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

Colton has become a perment fixture in my bed the last couple of nights. I put him in his bed tuck them all up and a few hours later I go to get in my bed, and there he is stretched out in the middle. Now out of all 3 of the boys he is the worst to sleep with. If he gets hot he assumes everyone is hot and pushs the covers into the floor. If he is cold he thinks everyone is cold and piles lots of blanket on everyone. He never sleeps in one spot, he roams all over the bed like he is searching for something that has been lost for a long time. Then after hours of this he finally settles down. He gets sideways in the bed, props both legs in the middle of my back and begins to snore softly. I move his legs off me, scoot him back to Steve's side of the bed and try once again to go to sleep. It last about 3 minutes before he is right back in the same position. I love him, but he is going to have to go right back in with his brothers tonight, no matter how many times I have to move him there. I don't understand how they sleep with him, and manage to actually get any rest, because I sure don't.

I am glad school is almost out. Colton only has 4 more days and then he is mine for the summer! The 31st is track day for the other 2 so we will be doing that, and then June 2nd is their last day! I don't know how it went by so fast, but it seems the older I get the faster the days go by. I am ready for summer with the boys. I miss them when they are at school all day. I don't know what I am going to do when Colton goes to school all day next year. That is going to really suck. I am thinking I will be getting me a job to pass the time. I will go insane sitting here all day waiting for the boys to get home.

Steve has been working working and working some more. He got promoted to a tech so he doesn't have to drive the big trucks anymore. He is happier I think, but he will be gone just as much or more now. I am going to have to get a boyfriend to do all the stuff around this house that I need Steve to do. I'm pretty sure that Steve would enjoy coming home to everything being fixed that needs fixed and the lawn mowed, and all that.

Mommy

2006-05-14T09:21:00.000-07:00

One thing I never in my life thought I would ever be called was mom. I never felt that I would be a good mom. Children require a lot of attention and a lot of care, and anyone who knows me will attest to the fact that I barely take care of myself. The thought of being responsible for another life still terrifies me. It is my job to make sure I raise them to be productive memebers of society. I am responsible for everything they do, not to meantion their day to day care, and it's a big job. I still don't think I am a good mom, but I do the best I can do. I get them to school on time, I get them feed, I get them to their events on time. I try my best to teach them good manners, how to behave in public, and all that. Sometimes it works and other times I am tired and frustrated from having to tell them over and over again. It just comes with having 3 boys there will be times they make me feel like an utter failure. The one think I am excellent as a mother at, the one thing that I can never fail at or mess up is loving them. I never thought it was possible to love another human the way I love the boys. I like most moms would die or kill for my children. They are the only reason in this world worth getting out of bed everyday for. I often wonder what I did before I had children, what did I live for? My life really had no purpose before them, but now that I have them I am scared that my life will again have no purpose when they all grow up and leave me. I will be stuck all alone with no one to yell at, no one to say "pick that up" to a hundrend times. No one to tuck in at night and read stories to, and hold and hug and kiss and play with. I will once again be all alone with no purpose in life, and that thought terrifies me beyond belief, because although I never ever planned for kids in my life I got them and they changed the entire meaning of my life. The wonderful thing about that is they changed it for the better.

Happy Mother's day to all the mom's out there.

Headlines

2006-05-11T08:09:00.000-07:00

Most days I don't even read the newpaper. There are just to many depressing things in there, but this morning I was browsing our local online news and a couple articles caught my attention.

First this one parents want to raise the drop out age to 18. Right now our current drop out age is 16, but a child can drop out and no one has to notify the parents. The parents are out of the loop totally. I am legally responsible for my children until they are 18 years old unless they are emacapated by the court, but yet they can drop out of school at 16 and they don't even have to tell me. I am all for changing the age to 18, and if a child wants to drop out before that I think that there needs to be a lot of parent involvement. What options do these kids have once they leave school without that diploma? A big happy future of flipping burgers at Micky D's is about where their lives are going. Our rule in our house is simple if you want to live here rent free then you will be in school or move the hell out and support yourself!

This one is a little more heated. There are many reasons this article gets me. This kid wants his gun rights back, because in his youth he had one domestic violence charge his gun rights were taken away. The great state of Wyoming looked at his record and he met all the demands for having it expongued. We are willing to give his gun rights back to him. It should be a done deal right there. Nope the federal government has to step in and say they will not recognize the Wyoming law. I have a problem with the whole domestic violence laws in the first place. I think the only time the cops should be called to my house for domestic violence is if I call them. That is not how it is the neighbors can over hear a fight Steve and I are having and they can call them, then I don't have to press charges that is left to the responding officers discreation. So I smack Steve in a heated arguement and there is a slap mark on his face and I go off to jail and lose my gun rights from that moment on. I understand why the law is that way, there were far to many domestic calls and to many women getting the crap knocked out of them and when the police got there the woman was the one screaming at the cops not to take their wonderful woman beating man to jail. She wouldn't press charges and 6 months later he beat her so badly she ended up in the hospital or worse dead. I am not saying that it is an unjust law, I'm just saying it doesn't fit all domestic calls. Anyway back to the topic.

The federal government needs to step off. It should not be their call when it is a state matter. It's that simple. Our state has decided that what happened in this boys youth should not follow him into his adult life, and they need to respect that.

DELETE

2006-05-10T15:06:00.000-07:00

That is all I seem to be doing over the past week, deleting. I have started a dozen or more posts and nothing seemed to work. So just a general what's going on post will have to do.

Can everyone say over extended. Yep that is the story of my life with 3 boys who all want to be involved in something. Colton is in the middle of his soccer season. He loves it, or more he loves going. I don't think I will ever become a full fledge soccer mom. He is more interested in playing with the other kids. Last night he just wanted to get to the giving out treats because it was his turn to bring them. I had to run the other 2 to swim lessons, because they started 5 mintues before soccor was over. Steve stayed with Colton while I took D and Cam man to swimming. While I was getting Cam undressed I somehow managed to dislocate my pinky finger, yes it hurts like a son of a bitch... but I got them all in the water and in comes Colton and Steve and I quickly start yanking off Colton's cloths so he can swim. We were suppose to have swimming on monday and wednesday, but the classes were full so we got stuck in the tuesday and thursday class. Oh well such is life.

Steve has been gone a lot, but with the price of oil at $72.69 it is expected. The top five ways you can tell the price of oil is up when you live in wyoming:

5: Everywhere you look they are building something.
4: Everyone is driving new cars.
3: All the people you know are moving into a bigger house.
2: Milk is almost $3.00 a gallon.
1: Every other licensen plate you see is from Texas or Oklahoma.

Steve is making good money right now with tons of overtime. I don't think anyone remembers the end of the last oil boom however. I see all these brand new houses going up and they are sold as fast as they are built, and when this little boom is over it is going to leave a lot of people out of work and a lot of houses going back to the bank. That is the way things work in a boom or bust ecomony. We live on natural resources here, and that means either things or good or things are not so good. I hope that this boom last for a long while, it means money in our house, but I am not stupid enough to think it will last forever or even long enough for us to pay off a 200 thousand dollar home.

My granny has been ill lately and that really worries me. I think that my grandparents need to move here or at least to Wright with my mom. They are at the age where they need someone to look out for them. I can't move there, because Steve's got a good job here. Mom can't move there, because dad has a good job where he is at. They are retired so the smart thing would be to move them to mom's, but they won't go. They are to independent and set in their ways. I wish they would just listen and let someone take care of them. Mom has been reduced to tears several times, because she doesn't know what to do. I don't know what to tell her, because there is nothing she really can do.

I am off to finish the laundry and clean the guinea pig cage. Hopefully I'll have something worth while to post soon.

The abduction

2006-05-04T09:48:00.000-07:00

I first hear these strange voices, they sound like squeeks and purrs. Then a warm light surrounds me as I am lifted from my bed and tranported into this room that looks a lot like my living room, but it's bigger, there is no tv or computer and the furniture is much newer so I know it isn't my living room. I am standing there trying to force my eyes to focus when I realieze that I am surrounded by some strange aliens. That is when I flip out. I start asking if anyone speaks english, and this thing floats over to me and tells me to settle down. I go off at that point, and I can still remember the words I said.

"Just settle down. What the hell, you take me from my bed and I'm suppose to settle down. I have 3 kids down there that are all alone now you transport me right back to where you got me or I'm going to knock the crap out of you." the whole room went silent and I said "NOW!"

"OK OK settle down."

Then I woke up and the guinea pigs where having a fight making a whole lot of noise. So I don't know if they ever transported me back or not damn aliens! I did not know that they make the same sounds as guinea pigs only louder.

Yesterday Colton came running into the house crying with his nose and forehead all skinned up.

"Oh baby what happened?" I say to him.
"I can't tell you, cause you'll be angry!" his little voice quivered.

At least he didn't lie to me! He was jumping off the neighbors porch and he had been in trouble 2 times already for it. He kind of gave it away when he said I'd be angry.

Well you know...

2006-04-25T13:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was spent at school helping in the classrooms. If you have never taken the time to spend with 20 4 and 5 year olds you should it is great fun. I am sure I create more chaos then I actually help, because I'm all about the fun! I have found that if you want a child to respond all you really have to do is act interested, which isn't that big of job for me I am interested in what they are learning.

So I played a game with the kindergarteners. They all did very well and we had a good time. Then I ran next door to Colton's class. It was his birthday and we brought cupcakes for the class to share. Well Colton likes pretty things, pretty flowers, pretty pictures, and especially pretty girls. Him and the teachers daughter have had a very close relationship all year. They are best friends. So I get to Colton's class and she informs me that when her and Colton get big they are going to get married, live in a castle, and have 10 kids. Colton is just nodding his head, and then he says "yesterday we were kissing in the hall" very matter of factly.

Colton had decided a long time ago he would be marrying her up. He thinks she is great! I'm pretty fond of her myself, she is a little doll.

Spoiled Rotten

2006-04-19T18:11:00.000-07:00

The alarm went off and I threw back the cover, and stumbled to the kitchen.

"What kind of cereal do you guys want." I asked that because I'm a good mom, and want to send them off with full bellys. Hey I didn't say I was a great mom who sent them off with a well balanced meal, but they were feed anyway.

I got three different orders, which is the nice thing about cereal it comes in many different flavors so everyone is happy. Well I get out the paper bowls, because I am tired of digging in the trash for the good bowl, yes Colton throws the bowl, spoon, and all away no matter what I try I can't get it across to him not to, but anyway I place the correct cerals in each bowl and stuff in the plastic spoons. I reach into the fridge and pull out the milk. I am still half asleep and have not had my coffee yet, and I pour the milk into the bowls. Seconds later I am hit with this awful smell. What the hell is it... on my god it is really gross I am thinking and I pick up the cereal think I need to get the boys fed so I can investageate the source. My stomachs lurches as the bowls get closer to me and it dawns on me that the source is the cereal or more exact the milk. I tossed all the bowls into the trash grabbed the milk out of the fridge where I had returned it and look at the date, Mar 29 it says. Well hell I just opened the damn thing yesterday, and I just bought it last week. How can you buy milk in the middle of april with a March experation date! I quickly check the other 2 gallons I bought and they were both good.

Needless to say I had to make breakfast twice this morning.

So I am all out of blog topics... got one? Leave me a comment and I'll try my best to fulfil your requests. I am desperate people I'll take just about anything.