Cross ice, Surgery, and the most awesome coach!

David is upset beyond belief, and I can see his point and there is nothing I can do about it. They have taken the mites and went from playing full ice games to cross ice games, now I know some of you have no clue what the means, and basically it will only benefit D's skills. What they are doing is dividing the rink into cross sections and not using the whole ice for their games. Well David's whole view on it is he did his time as a "little kid" and played the half ice games already, then he got to be a big kid and play just like the big guys and all of a sudden they are taking that away from him again and making him play like the little kids do. He is hurt and thinks he's not good enough. No matter how hard I try to explain it to him he now hates hockey. He probably loved playing hockey more than any kid out there, he played with such heart, and he isn't the best player out there by a long shot, he is one of the fastest, but he isn't that great at stick handling and controlling that speed is out of the question he goes balls to the wall, and I can see where this new program will help him out in that, but he can't. What he sees is he isn't good enough. Then I was upset because out of the 15 parents that showed up to the meeting tonight to express their views on it only 3 of us had enough guts to say we are against it. Sunday at practice every parent I talked to was pissed off about it, and then all of a sudden in the meeting only 3 of us spoke up everyone else agreed it was the best and then walked out of the lobby doors pissed off. I was a little baffled by that. Anyway in our house once you start something you finish it and David started the season so he has to finish it, no matter how unpleasant it is going to be for me.

Steve went to the Dr. last Friday and his fingers have about a half in gap between the bones so that means we are looking at surgery to have them fixed, which means he will spend another 2 months on light duty with little or no overtime! I am going to have to get a job if that happens.

Cam has been pissed off about not being able to skate with the big kids, but then he got the coach he wanted and now he is much happier. When Coach told him "Cam your on mine team." Cam jumped up and down and said "YES!" he was very excited. Then he was excited when the mites went to cross ice too, which didn't help the D man situation at all!

Aloha Friday!

The only bad thing about Friday is getting up so freaking early, thankfully D man is always ready I hardly have to say a word to him about getting up he loves hockey that much. Then once practice is over it's over until Sunday that means for 2 whole nights in a row I don't have to go anywhere, and that makes me happy.

I was discussing religion with my neighbor and shocked her I think. When I told her I didn't believe in God she was sad for me. I'm not sad for me why should she be? I'm not sad for her or think she is any less intelligent because she believes. I am very careful when I talk about religion with other people, because I don't want them to think I think they are ideological idiots, that seems to be the way they think we view them. When I was in my early 20's finding God was like a quest for me. I thought "normal" people believed and had faith, and once I realized that I didn't have to believe it was as much as a relief for me as it is for those that search and suddenly find god. There was a great weight lifted off of me. I didn't have to believe in a God to be normal I am as normal as I get just the way I am. I think it's the logical side of my mind that rules. Logically to me there is no possible way that this God could exist and have created all things, but that surely doesn't mean that I pity people who have great faith. I admire the fact that they can blindly believe in something so profound.

Speaking of religion and God my boys have faith that there is a god. David told me last night "mom I know you think Cameron hates you, but he really doesn't every night in his prayers he tells God that he loves you." I asked D man what he says and he told me "He says 'God please don't be mad at me for being mean to mom I love her more than anything.' he says it every night mom." I know Cam loves me, but he likes me to think he doesn't so he can get his way. He requires a lot of attention and I try to split it between 3 kids and Steve and somedays are better than others.

I think it's nap time now. I went to bed at 11 last night fell asleep about 1, woke up at 3 fell back to sleep at 4 and the alarm went off at 5:45. If you add it all up that's almost 4 whole hours of sleep! Normally my sleep comes between 4 and 8 and the little bits I get between 1 and 4 are just an add bonus. I wish I could sleep like Steve his head hits the pillow and he is out.

Working moms

I don't know how mom's who have to work outside the home actually do it and manage to raise kids too. Yesterday I subbed for the Kindergarten Aid and I got nothing done at home. We got out of school and came home grabbed a snack, helped Steve get his hunting junk put away, and then it was off to hockey. This is the 2nd time I have subbed and I like it. I am just going to keep putting my name in for jobs that open up and eventually they will give me a job down there!

Steve had vacation last week and him and my dad went elk hunting. They say they are going hunting, but what they really mean is they are going camping in the cold so they can sit around and drink beer with gossip about the women folk. They both had a great time, but didn't kill anything, which is good really because I hate wild game. I was raised eating it, and then I moved out and discovered beef. Dad has promised to take the boys turkey hunting next month, so that should be a lot of fun for them too.

Travel team hockey is going well. David actually got up before me last Friday and he was ready to go when my alarm went off. He came in and told me to hurry up.

Cam is still mad at me because he is still a mini mite this year, and he wanted to move up to skate with his brother. He is more than able to keep up with them, but his birthday is in January and he needed to be Dec. to move up.

I have 100 things to get done today and I am lacking the ambition to get anything started this morning.

Gather round

Every once in awhile I start writing a new story... I have yet to finish one. I am not a very good writer, but I do love doing it. Today I thought crap I don't have anything else to share so I'll share my latest soon to me stuffed in a file I have named stories I may someday finish...



The cold night air surrounded her like a blanket, the numbing effect of the bitter chill should have made her want to seek refuge indoors, but she kept walking farther away from the shelter of the house. The tears froze to her cheeks as she wandered aimlessly into the night. The kids needed her now more than ever, and if she didn't have them she would lay down in the snow and gladly except whatever fate came her way. The thought of her children gave her some strength, but she wondered if she would be enough for them. It was never in her big plan to raise them all on her own, even when things were at there very worst in her marriage she chose to stick it out and keep her family in tact.

She fell to her knees in the snow, buried her head in her hands and wept. "Damn you!" she screamed, "Damn you for doing this to me!" the tears warmed her cheeks before they froze in a puddle in front of her. Time, that's what she had heard for the last day and a half, it's going to take time to heal, well she didn't want to heal; she wanted her life back the way it was, even the bad times were better than what she had now. The familiar sound of her oldest son's voice brought her back to the world of the living. She stood, brushed the snow off, composed herself as best as she could, and walked back towards the house.

"I'm here, baby." She called to him as she waved her hand in the air. He stood in the doorway waiting for her. She watched as his grandmother walked up behind him. The nerve of that woman she thought, and she wished she would just go home and leave them alone. It wasn't as if she was really concerned for them, she hadn't really cared about them in all this time and it was too late to start caring now. She tried to think back to a time when her mother in law had cared, but she couldn't recall one. Oh she showed up for birthdays and Christmas, but that was about it, and she resented the woman for that and always had.

"Amy what are you doing out here?" her mother in law tried to acted worried, but they had known each other long enough that there really was no need to pretend. Amy wanted to yell at her to go away, but she wouldn't, not with her son standing there.

"I just needed some air." She said as she walked up the steps to her home, their home that seemed so empty now without him in it. She took Joe's hand and brushed past her mother in law, took a deep breath and proceeded to go in and face the family that had gathered at her house. Her 3 boys gathered around her protectively, as if guarding her from a vicious mob. Her boys so young, yet so aware of what was going on. Joey was only 12, and that was far too young to have to be so worried about his own mother. Parents were the ones that needed to worry for their children not the other way around. These boys would be her guiding light, and with them she would weather this storm.

Amy looked around at the people gathered in her living room, his family. They had come for selfish reasons she was sure of that, but she couldn't be sure what their motives were just yet. She was sure that they were not getting a thing from her or her boys she would see to that.

365 days

The average life span in America is about 75 years. 75 years use to seem like a long time, you know I would see an older person and think wow they have had a long life... Then I got to thinking just how many days it is. 75 years is only 27,375 days. I was really taken back by that. I have been alive for 12,795 days that only gives me 14,580 days, give or take a few years, left. I have wasted at least 2,555 of the days I have already had, and I don't get a do over for those days. It just isn't enough time! I want forever or at least 100,000 days. I don't think that 274 years is that long really, heck I'd even take 50,000 days that is only 137 years! Our time here is just so very short, we are gone in the blink of an eye when it come right down to it. Make good use of your days while you have them, because a day goes by so fast and they are numbered!

I love my boys!

The alarm went off at 5:45 this morning, giving us 15 minutes to get D geared up and out the door. I touched his leg and said "Baby it's time to get up." He jumpped out of bed, grabbed his bag and without so much as an "I'm tired mom" he got ready to go. He was ready before I even got my teeth brushed, and that was all I did. Steve didn't have to go out of town so we were lucky that it was just the 2 of us this morning. I threw on some socks and slippers and out the door we went. I walked into the rink looking just like I had stumbled out of bed, oh yeah I had! All the kids were very excited about being on the travel team so there wasn't any complaints from them, but all of us parents were very quiet this morning staring at each other like we "why are we doing this?" I think the big thing about the travel team parents are they are the dedicated ones, the ones that never miss practice or games, because this is what their child loves to do and we make sure that is what they get to do. Oh sure we complain and would rather sleep in, but we don't because our kids love the game so much.

So we are full swing into hockey now. David will have 4 practices a week and Cam will have 2. We have 3 tournments this year that we have to put on, and 2 or 3 out of town. The out of town ones are easier, because I don't have to work them. The in town ones mean I don't get to watch the boys play as much I will be working them, but it's worth it to let the boys play. I wish more parents were willing to put in the time, but it always seem to be the same parents!

Colton has decided that he doesn't really like hockey, because you have to skate and he hates skating, but the big one is he would get to sweaty and stinky! I think that is awesome! I don't know if I could hack having all 3 of them on the ice at different times.

Teaching

Over here is yet another debate about the state of our education system. I know all about a child that struggles in a subject. David is still struggling with reading, and as a mentor volunteer I must say that he is not the only child at that school that is struggling. I go in and I read with these kids every Monday and I am in utter shock that ever parent of every one of these children are not at the school every day question why. As a parent it is my responsibility to make sure that my boys get the best education possible, and I just don't see that happening right now. I am not saying they have bad teachers, but it is partly the teachers fault as well as the administration and the parents. If one child fails then the teacher should view that as a personal failure, especially at the grade school levels. If my job were sorting apples and I kept letting apples that were rotten go to market I wouldn't have a job very long, and it should be the same for teachers if they have one child every year that is behind something needs to be looked at.

They need to take it more personal, and ask themselves "what can I do to make this child get it?" It could be as simple as making a curriculum change or moving the child to a different place in the classroom. I want a teacher to call me and say "I really think your child would do well if he/she were put in this program we have" or "Do you have a few minutes to come in so we can go over some of the stuff your child is having problems with and some way that you can help at home." It isn't that hard to pickup a telephone and reach me I am here all day and if I'm not my cell phone number is listed on all the boys' information sheets. I am at the school at least 3 times a week. I am very easy to reach, and I am more than willing to do whatever it takes to help my children. They are my life, and if I feel you are not doing your very best as their teacher I will call you on it. I will be in your face and I will be telling you how to improve in your job. Then we have to add in the administration.

If one child fails then one teacher has failed, and that means the administration is not doing their job well enough either. We need to climb the ladder and go right to the top and say "Hey mister super-intendent I am holding you accountable."

I get frustrated that I send my children off to school and I have to be there standing over shoulders making sure the job is being done. If I hired a plumber I would not expect to have to stand in the bathroom and tell them how to unclog the toilet, and I shouldn't have to do that with a teacher. I will be taking D out of school next year if he is not meeting benchmarks for the year. I will be teaching him at home where I know exactly what he is learning and what he isn't. I understand that not all children are the same. I have 2 others and one is pretty average when it comes to school and the other does very well, but it isn't these boys that worry me as much as the oldest. He just doesn't get reading and without reading he is doomed to fail in everything he ever does! I have experienced that he is among many children that are struggling reads, and I have spent many hours researching the things other schools are doing to help. I have been working on some different things that I hope to push the school into implementing and there are some things that I am going to be pushing we do away with. I don't get paid for this or credit for it in anyway. I am doing it to help these kids, because the system seems to be failing.

Keywords are fun!

I have a few minutes before I have to run off again, so I was looking at my stat counter, because the keyword searches amuse me (I'm easily amused!) and this one made me giggle: Things he does not want to hear in bed. I thought boy the things I could come up with for that. So go ahead play along at home...

Things he does not want to hear in bed.

"That was ok, but I've had better."
"I was faking it."
"OH BOB" when his name is Joe.
"You're not really very good at this is it your first time?"
"My old boyfriend was never that quick."

Have to run I'm job hunting. Actually the school has another opening I'm going to go put my name on the list... wish me luck.

Once upon a time

David made the travel team and now I have to take him to hockey practice at 6 in the morning ever friday! Oh the joy of being a mom to 2 boys who love hockey. I don't know how getting him up so early is going to work out, but I promised him I would take him as long as he got up and got ready without a lot of complaining, and he has to keep up in school or that will be the end of it. Cam is pissed off because he doesn't get to play travel with his brother, and I am already tired of being at the rink. The schedule changed so this year we will have practice monday, tuesday, wednesday, friday, and twice on sundays. I am thinking that the boys should have taken up knitting or something I could stay home to do. I am not ready for all that running around to start again. There really isn't anything else going on.